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TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Instructions Your professor is teaching a class on public policy. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

真實考生作答範例,搭配 AI 評分與回饋

目前有 1 篇考生投稿範例

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題型概述

Doctor Gupta

This week, we will be discussing a shortage of affordable housing that exists in many countries. In these places, housing-both apartments (flats) and houses--are expensive, because populations are growing faster than new housing is being built. Now, think about places in your country that have a housing shortage. In your post, I would like you to indicate the most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in your country. Please explain why you think so.

Claire

In my country, there is a lack of affordable housing in the big cities. Low-cost housing exists in areas outside of the cities, but that means workers have long commutes to reach their jobs in the cities. I recommend that my government create initiatives to encourage the construction of large buildings with many affordable apartments in cities.

Paul

Claire's recommendation is fine, but many people prefer to live in a house rather than an apartment, even if they have longer commutes. Living in a house can be quieter and more private. So, I believe my government should give subsidies or tax relief to construction companies to build small, affordable single-family houses on unused land that surrounds many cities.

考生範例與評分結果

考生範例

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community.

評分結果

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5 Language Use and Grammar: 4.5

2. 预估分数

28. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面做得很好,有效地回答了问题,并提出了一个明确的观点。为了进一步改进,可以考虑在文章中提供更多具体的例子和细节来支持观点。此外,尝试使用更丰富的词汇和语法结构来增强表达能力。

Example 1: Instead of "By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand.", you could write "By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes in strategic locations, such as near public transportation hubs, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand more effectively."

Example 2: Instead of "Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates.", you could write "Increased spending on public housing not only allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates but also promotes social integration and reduces income inequality."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面做得很好,有清晰的引言、主体和结论。为了进一步改进,可以考虑在段落之间添加更明确的过渡句子,以便读者更容易理解观点之间的联系。此外,确保每个段落都有一个明确的主题句,以便读者更好地了解每个段落的重点。

Example 1: Instead of starting the second sentence with "With populations growing...", you could write "Considering the rapid population growth and the inability of private development to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens."

Example 2: Add a transition sentence between the second and third sentences, such as "This approach not only addresses the immediate housing shortage but also contributes to long-term social stability." Then continue with "By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand."

5. 语法批改

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community.

Section Title: 6 文章修订

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community. (124 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 7 文章批改

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. projects (reason: clarifies the focus of the essay). With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, up (explanation: highlights the problem), only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. citizens (reason: emphasizes the role of government). By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, homes (explanation: explains how it can be done), the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. demand (reason: shows potential outcome). Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. rates (explanation: describes benefits). It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community.community (reason: concludes with a strong statement about government's role).

8 思维导图


- 1. Introduction
  - Housing shortage issue
  - Government responsibility

- 2. Public housing projects
  - Direct funding for construction
  - Affordable apartments and homes

- 3. Closing the gap
  - Housing supply and demand

- 4. Benefits of increased spending
  - Access to safe, stable shelters
  - Costs below market rates

- 5. Government action and responsibility fulfillment 

- 6. Conclusion 

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
housing shortage/ˈhaʊzɪŋ/ /ˈʃɔrtɪdʒ/noun phrasea lack of available homes or apartments for people to live in房屋短缺The government must address the housing shortage in our country.
investment/ɪnˈvɛstmənt/nounthe act of putting money, effort, time, etc., into something to make a profit or get an advantage, or the money, effort, time, etc., used to do this投资Increasing investment in public housing projects can help solve the problem.
public sector/ˈpʌblɪk/ /ˈsɛktər/noun phrasethe part of an economy that is controlled by the government and its agencies rather than by private companies or individuals; often refers to government-funded services and industries such as education, healthcare, and public transportation systems.公共部门(政府部门)The public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand.
affordable/əˈfɔrdəbəl/adjectiveinexpensive; reasonably priced负担得起的,价格适中的Affordable apartments and homes are essential for citizens.
construction/kənˈstrʌkʃən/nounthe process of building something, especially a large structure such as a house, bridge, or road建筑,建设Direct funding for construction can help increase the number of available homes.
supply and demand/səˈplaɪ/ /ænd/ /dɪˈmænd/noun phrasethe amount of goods available to be bought compared with the amount that people want to buy; often used to explain how prices are determined in a market economy供求关系The government needs to balance housing supply and demand.
stable shelter/ˈsteɪbəl/ /ˈʃɛltər/noun phrasea safe and secure place to live or stay in, especially during difficult times or conditions稳定的住所Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters.
market rates/ˈmɑrkɪt/ /reɪts/noun phrasethe current price or value of something in a competitive marketplace, often used as a benchmark for determining appropriate prices for goods or services市场价格Public housing projects can provide homes at costs below current market rates.
responsibility/rɪˌspɒnsəˈbɪlɪti/noun 1.something that it is your job or duty to deal with 2.the state of having control over and being in charge of someone or something责任

學術討論如何評分

TOEFL學術討論題型依據官方 ETS 評分標準進行評分,AI 評分系統會從多個面向分析每篇回答。

切題度與貢獻度

回答是否切合題目,並對討論做出有意義的貢獻?

語言運用

文法準確度、詞彙廣度,以及句子結構的品質。

論述發展與支持

論點是否透過具體例子和清楚的推理獲得充分發展?

回答中的常見模式

根據對本題考生投稿的分析,以下是考生回答中常見的模式。

許多考生提出了明確的觀點,卻缺乏具體的佐證例子。

高分回答通常會直接引用閱讀文章內容,並回應其他發言者的觀點。

得分較高的回答會運用多樣的句型結構與學術詞彙。

時間管理是關鍵因素——顯得倉促完成的回答,在論述發展方面通常得分較低。

學習訣竅

1

動筆前仔細閱讀題目,確認問題的每個部分都已理解。

2

在回答中引用閱讀文章內容,並回應其他考生的觀點。

3

用具體例子支持你的主要論點——避免空泛籠統的說法。

4

字數以 120-150 字為目標。篇幅較長不代表較好,清晰與聚焦更為重要。

5

練習限時作答(10 分鐘),培養在考試情境下的流暢度。

常見問題

什麼是TOEFL學術討論任務?
TOEFL學術討論任務要求你參與線上課堂討論。你需要閱讀教授的問題和其他學生的回覆,然後在約10分鐘內寫出自己的貼文,表達並支持你的觀點。
學術討論任務如何評分?
此任務依0-5分評分,評分依據包括與討論的相關性、語言運用品質(文法、詞彙、句子結構),以及你如何用具體例子和推理來發展並支持自己的觀點。
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