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TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Instructions Your professor is teaching a class on public policy. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

AI 기반 평가와 피드백이 포함된 실제 사용자 제출 답안

사용자 제출 예시 1개 이용 가능

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과제 개요

Doctor Gupta

This week, we will be discussing a shortage of affordable housing that exists in many countries. In these places, housing-both apartments (flats) and houses--are expensive, because populations are growing faster than new housing is being built. Now, think about places in your country that have a housing shortage. In your post, I would like you to indicate the most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in your country. Please explain why you think so.

Claire

In my country, there is a lack of affordable housing in the big cities. Low-cost housing exists in areas outside of the cities, but that means workers have long commutes to reach their jobs in the cities. I recommend that my government create initiatives to encourage the construction of large buildings with many affordable apartments in cities.

Paul

Claire's recommendation is fine, but many people prefer to live in a house rather than an apartment, even if they have longer commutes. Living in a house can be quieter and more private. So, I believe my government should give subsidies or tax relief to construction companies to build small, affordable single-family houses on unused land that surrounds many cities.

사용자 예시 및 평가 결과

사용자 예시

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community.

평가 결과

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5 Language Use and Grammar: 4.5

2. 预估分数

28. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面做得很好,有效地回答了问题,并提出了一个明确的观点。为了进一步改进,可以考虑在文章中提供更多具体的例子和细节来支持观点。此外,尝试使用更丰富的词汇和语法结构来增强表达能力。

Example 1: Instead of "By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand.", you could write "By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes in strategic locations, such as near public transportation hubs, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand more effectively."

Example 2: Instead of "Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates.", you could write "Increased spending on public housing not only allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates but also promotes social integration and reduces income inequality."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面做得很好,有清晰的引言、主体和结论。为了进一步改进,可以考虑在段落之间添加更明确的过渡句子,以便读者更容易理解观点之间的联系。此外,确保每个段落都有一个明确的主题句,以便读者更好地了解每个段落的重点。

Example 1: Instead of starting the second sentence with "With populations growing...", you could write "Considering the rapid population growth and the inability of private development to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens."

Example 2: Add a transition sentence between the second and third sentences, such as "This approach not only addresses the immediate housing shortage but also contributes to long-term social stability." Then continue with "By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand."

5. 语法批改

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community.

Section Title: 6 文章修订

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community. (124 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 7 文章批改

The most effective way for the government to address a housing shortage in my country would be through increasing investment in public housing projects. projects (reason: clarifies the focus of the essay). With populations growing but private development unable to keep up, up (explanation: highlights the problem), only a major commitment from the government can ensure affordable housing for all citizens. citizens (reason: emphasizes the role of government). By directly funding the construction of new affordable apartments and homes, homes (explanation: explains how it can be done), the public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand. demand (reason: shows potential outcome). Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters at costs below current market rates. rates (explanation: describes benefits). It is the most direct method for the government to take action on this issue and fulfill its responsibility of protecting this basic need for everyone in the community.community (reason: concludes with a strong statement about government's role).

8 思维导图


- 1. Introduction
  - Housing shortage issue
  - Government responsibility

- 2. Public housing projects
  - Direct funding for construction
  - Affordable apartments and homes

- 3. Closing the gap
  - Housing supply and demand

- 4. Benefits of increased spending
  - Access to safe, stable shelters
  - Costs below market rates

- 5. Government action and responsibility fulfillment 

- 6. Conclusion 

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
housing shortage/ˈhaʊzɪŋ/ /ˈʃɔrtɪdʒ/noun phrasea lack of available homes or apartments for people to live in房屋短缺The government must address the housing shortage in our country.
investment/ɪnˈvɛstmənt/nounthe act of putting money, effort, time, etc., into something to make a profit or get an advantage, or the money, effort, time, etc., used to do this投资Increasing investment in public housing projects can help solve the problem.
public sector/ˈpʌblɪk/ /ˈsɛktər/noun phrasethe part of an economy that is controlled by the government and its agencies rather than by private companies or individuals; often refers to government-funded services and industries such as education, healthcare, and public transportation systems.公共部门(政府部门)The public sector can help close the gap between housing supply and demand.
affordable/əˈfɔrdəbəl/adjectiveinexpensive; reasonably priced负担得起的,价格适中的Affordable apartments and homes are essential for citizens.
construction/kənˈstrʌkʃən/nounthe process of building something, especially a large structure such as a house, bridge, or road建筑,建设Direct funding for construction can help increase the number of available homes.
supply and demand/səˈplaɪ/ /ænd/ /dɪˈmænd/noun phrasethe amount of goods available to be bought compared with the amount that people want to buy; often used to explain how prices are determined in a market economy供求关系The government needs to balance housing supply and demand.
stable shelter/ˈsteɪbəl/ /ˈʃɛltər/noun phrasea safe and secure place to live or stay in, especially during difficult times or conditions稳定的住所Increased spending on public housing allows more families access to safe, stable shelters.
market rates/ˈmɑrkɪt/ /reɪts/noun phrasethe current price or value of something in a competitive marketplace, often used as a benchmark for determining appropriate prices for goods or services市场价格Public housing projects can provide homes at costs below current market rates.
responsibility/rɪˌspɒnsəˈbɪlɪti/noun 1.something that it is your job or duty to deal with 2.the state of having control over and being in charge of someone or something责任

Academic Discussion 채점 방식

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 ETS 공식 채점 기준에 따라 평가됩니다. AI 평가는 여러 측면에서 각 답안을 분석합니다.

관련성 및 기여도

답안이 질문에 답하고 토론에 의미 있게 기여하는가?

언어 사용

문법 정확성, 어휘 범위, 문장 구조의 질.

전개 및 근거

구체적인 예시와 명확한 논리로 아이디어가 잘 전개되었는가?

답안에서 나타나는 공통 패턴

이 과제에 대한 사용자 제출 답안을 분석한 결과, 학생 답안에서 관찰된 공통 패턴은 다음과 같습니다.

많은 학생이 명확한 의견을 제시하지만 구체적인 뒷받침 예시가 부족합니다.

높은 점수를 받은 답안은 리딩 지문과 다른 참여자의 의견을 직접 인용합니다.

점수가 높은 답안은 다양한 문장 구조와 학술적 어휘를 사용합니다.

시간 관리는 핵심 요소입니다 — 서두른 느낌을 주는 답안은 전개 항목에서 낮은 점수를 받는 경향이 있습니다.

학습 팁

1

글을 쓰기 전에 프롬프트를 꼼꼼히 읽고 질문의 모든 부분을 파악하세요.

2

답안에서 리딩 지문과 다른 학생들의 의견을 언급하세요.

3

핵심 주장을 뒷받침할 구체적인 예시를 사용하고, 일반적인 진술은 피하세요.

4

120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 답안이 길다고 항상 좋은 것은 아니며, 명료함과 초점이 더 중요합니다.

5

시험 조건에서 유창하게 답하기 위해 시간을 정해(10분) 연습하세요.

자주 묻는 질문

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제란 무엇인가요?
TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 온라인 수업 토론에 참여하는 것을 요구합니다. 교수의 질문과 다른 학생들의 답변을 읽은 후, 약 10분 안에 자신의 의견을 표현하고 뒷받침하는 글을 작성하게 됩니다.
Academic Discussion 과제는 어떻게 채점되나요?
이 과제는 토론과의 관련성, 언어 사용의 질(문법, 어휘, 문장 구조), 그리고 구체적인 예시와 근거를 통해 아이디어를 얼마나 잘 전개하고 뒷받침하는지를 기준으로 0~5점 척도로 채점됩니다.
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이 Academic Discussion 과제를 어떻게 연습할 수 있나요?
무료 LingoLeap 계정에 가입하여 연습할 수 있습니다. 바로 이 질문에 대한 답변을 직접 작성하여 제출하면, 글쓰기에 대한 상세한 피드백과 함께 즉시 AI 평가를 받을 수 있습니다.
Academic Discussion 답변은 얼마나 길게 써야 하나요?
120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 이 과제는 답변을 작성할 10분의 시간을 제공합니다. 더 긴 답변을 쓰기보다는 명확성, 구체적인 예시로 의견을 뒷받침하는 것, 토론 맥락을 참조하는 것에 집중하세요.

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