TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on environmental protection. Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response you should do the following. · Express and support your opinion. · Make a contribution to the discussion in your own words. An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 1.0

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 1.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 2.0

2. 预估分数

8. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章没有明确回答教授的问题，也没有提供支持观点的论据。为了提高文章质量，你需要：

1. 阐述你对环境税的看法，并给出具体原因。

2. 使用自己的话参与讨论，而不是仅仅重复其他人的观点。

英文示例：

1. "I believe that implementing environmental taxes on air travel is a necessary step towards reducing air pollution because it would encourage people to consider alternative, eco-friendly transportation options."

2. "However, I also think that airlines should be held accountable for their environmental impact by investing in cleaner technologies and adopting more sustainable practices."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章缺乏清晰的结构和组织。为了改进，请注意以下几点：

1. 在引言中简要介绍话题和你的观点。

2. 在正文中详细阐述你的观点，并提供支持论据。

3. 在结论中总结你的主要观点。

英文示例：

1. Introduction: "Air pollution is a pressing issue, and one proposed solution is to impose environmental taxes on air travel."

2. Body: "On one hand, these taxes could discourage frequent flying and promote the use of cleaner transportation methods, such as trains or buses. On the other hand, some argue that it is the responsibility of airlines to invest in eco-friendly technologies and practices, rather than burdening passengers with additional costs."

3. Conclusion: "In conclusion, while environmental taxes on air travel may have some benefits, it is crucial to consider other approaches that directly target the sources of pollution."

5. 语法批改

lingo leapLingo Leap can help me to answer Ianswer, "I don't know how to do do."

Title: 6 文章修订

Paragraph 1: In response to the professor's question, I believe that implementing environmental taxes on air travel could be a beneficial approach to addressing air pollution. By imposing such taxes, individuals may be encouraged to seek alternative, eco-friendly modes of transportation for shorter distances. This would ultimately lead to a reduction in air pollution and promote a more sustainable way of traveling.

Paragraph 2: However, it is crucial to consider the potential drawbacks of this strategy. Imposing additional taxes on air travel might disproportionately burden passengers without effectively incentivizing airlines to adopt greener practices. To achieve meaningful progress in combating air pollution, it is essential to hold airlines accountable for their environmental impact and encourage them to invest in cleaner technologies and practices. (126 words)

lingo Revised essay: Title: 7 文章批改

Original essay: Lingo leap help me to answer

Revised essay: Lingo Leap has assisted me in formulating a response (Changed "help" to "assisted" for a more formal tone, and rephrased the sentence for clarity)

Original essay: I don't know how to dodo

Revised essay: I was unsure of how to proceed (Changed "I don't know" to "I was unsure" for a more formal tone, and rephrased the sentence for clarity)

Title: 8 思维导图

1. Environmental taxes
   1.1 Encourage alternative transportation
   1.2 Reduce air pollution
   1.3 Promote sustainable travel

2. Potential drawbacks
   2.1 Disproportionate burden on passengers
   2.2 Ineffective incentives for airlines

3. Addressing air pollution
   3.1 Hold airlines accountable
   3.2 Invest in cleaner technologies and practices

Title: 9 关键词

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

• 27

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在回答问题和表达观点方面做得很好，但仍有一些改进的空间。首先，在论述中可以提供更多具体的例子来支持你的观点。其次，尽量避免使用过于复杂的句子结构，以便让读者更容易理解你的意思。

改进示例1: 原文：This could be accomplished through changing the dining products like forks and plates to recycle ones. 修改后：One way airlines can become more eco-friendly is by using recyclable dining products, such as forks and plates, which can significantly reduce waste.

改进示例2: 原文：Moreover, they can also allocate a portion of their profits to support environmental organizations like United Nation. 修改后：Furthermore, airlines can allocate a portion of their profits to support environmental organizations, such as the United Nations Environment Programme, which works towards protecting the environment on a global scale.

4. 文章结构与组织

文章整体结构清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，在段落之间的过渡可以更加自然流畅。此外，可以在正文部分添加更多关于如何解决空气污染问题的具体建议。

改进示例1: 原文：In consequence, they have more responsibilities in concern with the issues. 修改后：As a result, airlines should take on more responsibility for addressing environmental issues.

改进示例2: 原文：Therefore, the government should impose strict policies on airline companies regarding to actions of environmental preservation. 修改后：Thus, the government should implement strict policies that require airline companies to take concrete actions towards environmental preservation.

5. 语法批改

In my perspective, I agree with Rory's opinion that the liability should not be lied on the customers. Simply posing high taxes on ticket flights would not tackle the issue effectively, customers as individual buyers could not make a great impact as the airlines, which are powerful capitalists with much wealth and resources to make decisions. In consequence, they have more responsibilities in concern with the issues. Therefore, the government should impose strict policies on airline companies regarding toregarding(Regarding to (regard to/regarding)) actions of environmental preservation. To be more specific, the business management department of every airline should put effort on creating aan(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') eco-friendly image of their companies. This could be accomplished through changing the dining products like forks and plates to recycle ones. Moreover, they can also allocate a portion of their profits to support environmental organizations like United Nation.

Section Title: Environmental Taxes and Air Travel

In my view, Rory's argument that customers should not bear the burden of addressing air pollution is more persuasive. Imposing higher taxes on flight tickets alone would not effectively address the issue, as individual consumers have limited influence compared to airlines, which possess significant wealth and resources to make impactful decisions. Consequently, airlines should bear greater responsibility for environmental concerns. Governments should enforce stringent policies on airline companies regarding environmental preservation efforts. For instance, each airline's business management department should strive to cultivate an eco-friendly image for their company. This could be achieved by adopting recyclable dining products such as forks and plates or allocating a portion of their profits to support environmental organizations like the United Nations. (125 words)

In my perspective, I agree with view, Rory's opinion argument that the liability customers should not be lied on bear the customers. Simply posing high burden of addressing air pollution (revised for clarity and conciseness) is more persuasive. Imposing higher taxes on ticket flights flight tickets alone (rephrased for better flow) would not tackle effectively address the issue effectively, customers issue, as individual buyers could not make a great impact as the consumers have limited influence compared to airlines, which are powerful capitalists with much possess significant wealth and resources to make decisions. In consequence, they have more responsibilities in concern with the issues. Therefore, the government impactful decisions (revised for coherence). Consequently, airlines should impose strict bear greater responsibility for environmental concerns (rephrased for clarity). Governments should enforce stringent policies on airline companies regarding to actions of environmental preservation. To be more specific, the preservation efforts (revised for better flow). For instance, each airline's business management department of every airline should put effort on creating a strive to cultivate an eco-friendly image of for their companies. company (rephrased for clarity). This could be accomplished through changing the achieved by adopting recyclable dining products like such as forks and plates to recycle ones. Moreover, they can also allocate or allocating a portion of their profits to support environmental organizations like the United Nation.Nations (revised for coherence and flow).

8 思维导图

1. 环境税与航空旅行
   ├── 1.1 罗里的观点：客户不应承担解决空气污染的责任
   ├── 1.2 高税收对航班票价的影响
   │    ├── 1.2.1 个人消费者影响有限
   │    └── 1.2.2 航空公司具有更多财富和资源
   ├── 1.3 航空公司应承担更大的环保责任
   └── 1.4 政府对航空公司实施严格政策
        ├── 1.4.1 培养环保形象
        │    └── 1.4.1.1 使用可回收餐具
        └── 1.4.2 支持环保组织，如联合国

9 关键词

1. Sub Scores

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. Estimated Scores

Estimated Score: 27

3. Task completeness

The essay does a good job of addressing the specific requirements of the task, expressing an opinion and contributing to the discussion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of elaborating on the viewpoint and providing more specific examples or details to support the argument. Additionally, the essay is slightly below the minimum word count of 170 words.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Expand on your arguments with more specific examples or details.

• Ensure that your essay meets the minimum word count requirement.

Examples:

1. Instead of just stating that taxes will discourage companies from producing polluting products, provide an example of a company that has changed its production methods due to environmental taxes.

2. Discuss how governments can use funds collected from environmental taxes for specific environmental protection projects or research initiatives.

4. Essay structure and organization

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, it could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve overall organization.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Use transition words or phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs.

• Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single point with supporting details.

Examples:

1. In the introduction, you could add a sentence like "In this post, I will discuss why I believe imposing taxes and fines on polluting companies is effective."

2. When transitioning between Student A's argument and your own opinion, you could use a phrase like "However, it is important to consider that..."

5. Grammar

In my opinion, imposing taxes and fines on polluting companies is an excellent idea. I fully concur with Rory's assertion that these policies not only provide government with sufficient funds to protect the environment but also encourage some establishments to change their pollution methods. Furthermore, I believesbelieve(Agreement error: Third-person verb with a non-third-person pronoun) that these costs will discourage these companies to produce these kinds of polluting products, reducing various kinds of pollution and providing a better living environment for us. Environment serves as the foundation of our community because of its connective and close relationship with everyone, without healthy and clean environment, even the most economical effects isare(Detects potentially wrong usage of "is") useless. Amy's argument about wealthy companies choosing to pay the fine rather thatthan(Detects potentially wrong usage of "that") altering their production process overlooks the fact that the taxes are depending[No Replacement Word Found](Progressive forms of non-progressive verbs (doubt, believe, understand)) on their incomes. Immense businesses must have bigger taxes, which are also hard to afford by the large companies. In essence, levying environmental taxes and fines on companies is effective and should be adopted as soon as possible.

Section Title: 6 Revised Essay

In my opinion, imposing taxes and fines on polluting companies is a highly effective strategy for addressing environmental protection issues. I wholeheartedly agree with the notion that such policies not only generate revenue for the government to invest in environmental conservation efforts but also incentivize numerous businesses to modify their environmentally harmful practices. Moreover, these financial penalties can serve as a deterrent for companies considering the production of pollution-intensive products, ultimately reducing various forms of pollution and contributing to a healthier living environment for all. It is crucial to recognize that the environment underpins our society due to its intrinsic connection with every individual; without a clean and healthy environment, even the most significant economic gains become futile. While it has been argued that wealthy companies may opt to pay fines rather than alter their production processes, it is important to note that tax rates are often proportional to income levels. Consequently, larger corporations face more substantial financial penalties, which may prove difficult to absorb even for well-established businesses. In summary, levying environmental taxes and fines on companies is an effective approach that warrants swift implementation in order to protect our planet's future. (198 words)

In my opinion, imposing taxes and fines on polluting companies is an excellent idea. a highly effective strategy (revised for clarity and emphasis) for addressing environmental protection issues. I fully concur wholeheartedly agree (revised for natural tone) with Rory's assertion that these the notion that such policies not only provide generate revenue (revised for clarity) for the government with sufficient funds to protect the environment to invest in environmental conservation efforts but also encourage some establishments to change incentivize numerous businesses to modify their pollution methods. Furthermore, I believes that environmentally harmful practices. Moreover, these costs will discourage these companies to produce these kinds financial penalties can serve as a deterrent (revised for clarity) for companies considering the production of polluting pollution-intensive products, ultimately reducing various kinds forms of pollution and providing a better contributing to a healthier living environment for us. Environment serves as the foundation of all. It is crucial to recognize that the environment underpins our community because of society due to its connective and close relationship intrinsic connection with everyone, every individual; without a clean and healthy and clean environment, even the most economical effects is useless. Amy's argument about significant economic gains become futile (revised for natural tone). While it has been argued that wealthy companies choosing may opt to pay the fine fines rather that altering than alter their production process overlooks the fact that the taxes processes, it is important to note that tax rates are depending on their incomes. Immense businesses must have bigger taxes, often proportional to income levels (revised for clarity). Consequently, larger corporations face more substantial financial penalties, which are also hard to afford by the large companies. may prove difficult to absorb even for well-established businesses. In essence, summary, levying environmental taxes and fines on companies is an effective and should be adopted as soon as possible.approach (revised for natural tone) that warrants swift implementation in order to protect our planet's future.

8 Mind Map

1. Introduction

   • Environmental protection
   • Taxes and fines on polluting companies

2. Revenue generation

   • Government investment in conservation efforts

3. Incentivizing businesses

   • Modify harmful practices

4. Deterrent effect

   • Reducing pollution-intensive products

5. Importance of a healthy environment

   • Connection to society and individuals

6. Counterargument: wealthy companies paying fines

   • Proportional tax rates and larger penalties for larger corporations

7. Conclusion

   • Effectiveness of levying environmental taxes and fines

9 Key Words

Section Title: 6 Revised Essay

In my opinion, imposing taxes and fines on polluting companies is a highly effective strategy for addressing environmental protection issues. I wholeheartedly agree with the notion that such policies not only generate revenue for the government to invest in environmental conservation efforts but also incentivize numerous businesses to modify their environmentally harmful practices. Moreover, these financial penalties can serve as a deterrent for companies considering the production of pollution-intensive products, ultimately reducing various forms of pollution and contributing to a healthier living environment for all. It is crucial to recognize that the environment underpins our society due to its intrinsic connection with every individual; without a clean and healthy environment, even the most significant economic gains become futile. While it has been argued that wealthy companies may opt to pay fines rather than alter their production processes, it is important to note that tax rates are often proportional to income levels. Consequently, larger corporations face more substantial financial penalties, which may prove difficult to absorb even for well-established businesses. In summary, levying environmental taxes and fines on companies is an effective approach that warrants swift implementation in order to protect our planet's future.

1. Sub Scores

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. Estimated Scores

Estimated Score: 27

3. Task completeness

The essay effectively addresses the task requirements by expressing a clear opinion in favor of small retail stores and providing relevant reasons to support this viewpoint. However, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or details to further strengthen the argument. Additionally, the connection to environmental protection, as mentioned in the professor's question, is not explicitly addressed.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Include a specific example of how shopping at small retail stores can benefit the environment.

• Explain how supporting local businesses contributes to environmental protection.

Examples:

1. "Shopping at small retail stores reduces our carbon footprint as we tend to buy locally sourced products, which reduces transportation emissions."
2. "By supporting local businesses, we encourage sustainable practices within our community, ultimately contributing to environmental protection."

4. Essay structure and organization

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific points, and a conclusion. However, it could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Use transitional phrases or words to connect ideas more smoothly.

• Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and includes supporting details.

Examples:

1. "In addition to providing personalized service, small retail stores also contribute positively to the local economy."
2. "Moreover, shopping at local establishments helps promote sustainable practices within our community."

5. Grammar

In response to the professor's question, I firmly believe that shopping at small retail stores is a better choice. While big supermarkets can offer more competitive prices and comprehensive products, the merits of retailers should not be underestimated. I concur with Amy's assertion that smaller stores enables us to have a more tailored service. Furthermore, buying from the establishment that we are familiar with really ensures high qualities of products. The close relationship with the shop owner allows us to know more about where these things come from, decreasing the possibility of buying destroyed products. Local shops are the backbones of regional economy, if these retailers close down without our support, the whole village will be affected. Consequently, while biga big(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.) supermarket certainly provides various products, small shops enrich and promote local residents' life in ways that extend far beyond merely one sole supermarket.

Display title: 6 Revised Essay

In response to the professor's question, I firmly believe that shopping at small retail stores is a better choice for environmental protection. While big supermarkets can offer more competitive prices and comprehensive products, the merits of small retailers should not be underestimated. I concur with Student A's assertion that smaller stores provide a more tailored service. Furthermore, purchasing from familiar establishments ensures higher quality products. The close relationship with shop owners allows us to know more about the origins of these items, decreasing the possibility of buying environmentally harmful products. Local shops are the backbone of regional economies; if these retailers close down without our support, entire communities will be affected. Consequently, while big supermarkets certainly provide various products, small shops enrich and promote local residents' lives in ways that extend far beyond merely one sole supermarket. (142 words)

In response to the professor's question, I firmly believe that shopping at small retail stores is a better choice. choice for environmental protection (added "for environmental protection" to clarify the main point). While big supermarkets can offer more competitive prices and comprehensive products, the merits of small retailers should not be underestimated. I concur with Amy's Student A's (changed "Amy" to "Student A" for consistency) assertion that smaller stores enables provide (changed "enables us to have have" to "provide" for better phrasing) a more tailored service. Furthermore, buying purchasing (changed "buying" to "purchasing" for variety) from the establishment that we are familiar with really establishments ensures higher quality products (changed "really ensures high qualities of products. products" to "ensures higher quality products" for better phrasing). The close relationship with the shop owner owners allows us to know more about where the origins of these items (changed "where these things come from, from" to "the origins of these items" for clarity), decreasing the possibility of buying destroyed products. environmentally harmful products (changed "destroyed products" to "environmentally harmful products"). Local shops are the backbones backbone of regional economy, economies; if these retailers close down without our support, the whole village entire communities will be affected. Consequently, while big supermarket supermarkets certainly provides provide various products, small shops enrich and promote local residents' life lives in ways that extend far beyond merely one sole supermarket.supermarket (kept original sentence structure).

8 Mind Map

1. Environmental protection

   • Small retail stores
   • Big supermarkets

2. Competitive prices

   • Comprehensive products
   • Tailored service

3. Higher quality products

   • Familiar establishments
   • Close relationship with shop owners

4. Origins of items

   • Environmentally harmful products

5. Local shops and regional economies

   • Support for small retailers

6. Communities affected by store closures

9 Key Words

6 Revised Essay

In response to the professor's question, I firmly believe that shopping at small retail stores is a better choice for environmental protection. While big supermarkets can offer more competitive prices and comprehensive products, the merits of small retailers should not be underestimated. I concur with Student A's assertion that smaller stores provide a more tailored service. Furthermore, purchasing from familiar establishments ensures higher quality products. The close relationship with shop owners allows us to know more about the origins of these items, decreasing the possibility of buying environmentally harmful products. Local shops are the backbone of regional economies; if these retailers close down without our support, entire communities will be affected. Consequently, while big supermarkets certainly provide various products, small shops enrich and promote local residents' lives in ways that extend far beyond merely one sole supermarket.