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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on political science.Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response,you should 1)express and support your personal opinion 2)make a contribution to the discussion in your own words An effective response will contain at least 100 words.You have ten minutes to write.

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タスク概要

Professor

Today we're going to talk about the debate between economic growth and protecting the environment.Economic growth creates new jobs and gives people money they can use to improve their lives.On the other hand,if we protect the environment it can be enjoyed both by ourselves and future generations.If you had to choose between prioritizing economic growth or protecting the environment,which one would you choose. Why?

Alex

I would prioritize the environment.We only have one planet and if we don't take care of it,we won't have pleasant lives in the future.Economic growth can be important,but not at the expense of the environment.I think we need to shift towards more environmentally-friendly economic practices,such as investing in renewable energy and promoting environmentally-friendly technologies. We'll all live much healthier lives if the world around us is clean.

Maggie

While I agree with Alex that environmental sustainability is important,I think that economic growth is the only way to solve many of the social and economic problems we face. We need a strong economy to create jobs,reduce poverty,and improve standards of living. Not only that,but if companies grow stronger and more profitable,they might eventually develop new technologies that solve our environmental problems.

ユーザーサンプルと評価結果

1

ユーザーサンプル #1

In my opinion, I'm aside with Maggie's points of view which prioritizes economic growth. To begin with, the economic development has safeguarded a har...

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26

ユーザーサンプル

In my opinion, I'm aside with Maggie's points of view which prioritizes economic growth. To begin with, the economic development has safeguarded a harmonious and stable life for the residents. With the economy at a standstill, people will be too tired to make ends meet and will not think of protecting the environment. On the contrary, vigorous economic growth will promote scientific and technological progress as well as the improvement of people's well-being, which will in turn enable many environmental protection measures to be carried out. For example, more energy efficient appliances could be developed to reduce pollution. Alex's viewpoint has some truth in it, but he has over-idealised the idea of building an environmentally friendly society. Only on the basis of a healthy economic society can we take better care of the environment.

評価結果

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

总体来说,你的文章较好地回答了问题,表达了你的观点,并对讨论做出了贡献。然而,有一些建议可以帮助你进一步改进:

  1. 在阐述观点时,可以提供更多具体的例子和细节来支持你的论点。

  2. 注意使用恰当的连接词和过渡词,使文章更连贯。

示例1(英文): Instead of "For example, more energy efficient appliances could be developed to reduce pollution.", you could write "For example, with a strong economy, companies can invest in research and development to create more energy-efficient appliances, which will ultimately reduce pollution and contribute to environmental protection."

示例2(英文): To improve the coherence of your essay, you can add transition words like "Moreover" or "Furthermore" at the beginning of some sentences. For example: "Moreover, vigorous economic growth will promote scientific and technological progress as well as the improvement of people's well-being."

4. 文章结构与组织

你的文章结构清晰,包括引言、正文和结论。每个段落都集中在一个特定的观点和支持细节上。但是,在组织方面还有一些建议可以帮助你改进:

  1. 在段落之间使用更明确的过渡词,使文章更连贯。

  2. 在正文部分中,可以进一步展开论述,提供更多具体的例子和细节。

示例1(英文): To improve the transition between paragraphs, you can add phrases like "On the other hand" or "In contrast". For example: "On the other hand, Alex's viewpoint has some truth in it, but he has over-idealised the idea of building an environmentally friendly society."

示例2(英文): To further elaborate on your points in the body of your essay, you can provide more specific examples and details. For example: "A healthy economy allows governments to allocate more resources towards environmental protection initiatives, such as reforestation programs and stricter regulations on industrial pollution."

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, I'm aside with Maggie's points of viewview,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which prioritizes economic growth. To begin with, the economic development has safeguarded a harmonious and stable life for the residents. With the economy at a standstill, people will be too tired to make ends meet and will not think of protecting the environment. On the contrary, vigorous economic growth will promote scientific and technological progress as well as the improvement of people's well-being, which will in turn enable many environmental protection measures to be carried out. For example, more energy efficient appliances could be developed to reduce pollution. Alex's viewpoint has some truth in it, but he has over-idealisedoveridealized(misspelling) the idea of building an environmentally friendly society. Only on the basis of a healthy economic society can we take better care of the environment.

Section Title: Balancing Economic Growth and Environmental Protection

In my perspective, I concur with Maggie's stance on prioritizing economic growth. Primarily, economic development ensures a harmonious and stable life for citizens. In a stagnant economy, individuals struggle to make ends meet, leaving little concern for environmental protection. Conversely, robust economic growth fosters scientific and technological advancements, as well as improved living standards, which in turn facilitate the implementation of various environmental protection measures. For instance, the development of energy-efficient appliances could mitigate pollution. While Alex's viewpoint holds merit, it idealizes the concept of constructing an eco-friendly society excessively. A sustainable environment can only be achieved upon the foundation of a thriving economic society. (113 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: Balancing Economic Growth and Environmental Protection

In my opinion, I'm perspective (Changed "opinion" to "perspective" for a more natural tone), I concur with Maggie's stance on prioritizing economic growth (Reworded "I'm aside with Maggie's points of view which prioritizes economic growth. To begin with, the growth" for clarity and readability). Primarily, economic development has safeguarded ensures a harmonious and stable life for the residents. With citizens (Rephrased "the residents" to "citizens" for better word choice). In a stagnant economy, individuals struggle to make ends meet, leaving little concern for environmental protection (Reworded "With the economy at a standstill, people will be too tired to make ends meet and will not think of protecting the environment. On the contrary, vigorous environment" for clarity). Conversely, robust economic growth will promote fosters scientific and technological progress advancements, as well as the improvement of people's well-being, improved living standards (Changed "well-being" to "living standards"), which will in turn enable many facilitate the implementation of various environmental protection measures to be carried out. measures. For example, more instance, the development of energy-efficient appliances could mitigate pollution (Reworded "more energy efficient appliances could be developed to reduce pollution. pollution" for better word choice). While Alex's viewpoint has some truth in it, but he holds merit, it idealizes the concept of constructing an eco-friendly society excessively (Rephrased "he has over-idealised the idea of building an environmentally friendly society. Only society"). A sustainable environment can only be achieved upon the foundation of a thriving economic society (Reworded "Only on the basis of a healthy economic society can we take better care of the environment.environment" for clarity and readability).

8 思维导图


1. Balancing Economic Growth and Environmental Protection
   1.1 Prioritizing economic growth
       1.1.1 Harmonious and stable life for citizens
       1.1.2 Stagnant economy vs robust economic growth
       1.1.3 Scientific and technological advancements
   1.2 Environmental protection measures
       1.2.1 Energy-efficient appliances
       1.2.2 Mitigating pollution
   1.3 Alex's viewpoint: idealizing eco-friendly society excessively
   1.4 Sustainable environment upon thriving economic society foundation

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
concur/kənˈkɜr/verbagree; be of the same opinion同意,一致意见I concur with Maggie's stance on prioritizing economic growth.
harmonious/hɑrˈmoʊniəs/adjectiveforming a pleasing or consistent whole和谐的Economic development ensures a harmonious and stable life for citizens.
stagnant/ˈstæɡnənt/adjectiveshowing no activity; not developing or making progress停滞的In a stagnant economy, individuals struggle to make ends meet, leaving little concern for environmental protection.
robust/roʊˈbʌst//adjective/strong and healthy; vigorous/强健的,茁壮的/Conversely, robust economic growth fosters scientific and technological advancements.
facilitate/fəˈsɪlɪteɪt/verbmake (an action or process) easy or easier促进,使便利Improved living standards facilitate the implementation of various environmental protection measures.
mitigate/ˈmɪtɪgeɪt/verbmake less severe, serious, or painful减轻,缓和The development of energy-efficient appliances could mitigate pollution.
idealize/aɪˈdiəˌlaɪz//verb/regard or represent as perfect or better than in reality/理想化/While Alex's viewpoint holds merit, it idealizes the concept of constructing an eco-friendly society excessively.
sustainable/səˈsteɪnəbəl//adjective/able to be maintained at a certain rate or level/可持续的/A sustainable environment can only be achieved upon the foundation of a thriving economic society.
thriving/ˈθraɪvɪŋ/adjectiveprosperous and growing; flourishing繁荣的A sustainable environment can only be achieved upon the foundation of a thriving economic society.

アカデミック・ディスカッションの採点方法

TOEFLアカデミック・ディスカッションのタスクは、ETS公式の採点基準に基づいて評価されます。AI評価は各回答を複数の観点から分析します。

関連性と貢献度

設問に的確に答え、ディスカッションに意味のある貢献をしているか?

言語使用

文法の正確さ、語彙の幅、文構造の質。

展開と裏付け

具体例と明確な論理によってアイデアが十分に展開されているか?

回答に見られる共通パターン

このタスクに寄せられたユーザー投稿の分析に基づき、受験者の回答に見られる共通パターンを紹介します。

多くの受験者は明確な意見を述べるものの、具体的な裏付け例が不足している。

高評価の回答は、リーディングパッセージや他の参加者の意見に直接言及している。

高得点の回答は、多様な文構造とアカデミックな語彙を使用している。

時間配分は重要な要素であり、急いで書かれた印象の回答は展開の評価が低くなる傾向がある。

学習のヒント

1

書き始める前に設問文を注意深く読み、質問のすべての要素を把握する。

2

回答の中でリーディングパッセージや他の受験者の意見に言及する。

3

主張を裏付けるために具体例を使い、一般論は避ける。

4

120~150語を目安にする。長い回答が必ずしも良いわけではなく、明確さと焦点の方が重要。

5

本番同様の条件で流暢さを養うため、時間を計って(10分間)回答する練習をする。

よくある質問

TOEFLのAcademic Discussionタスクとは何ですか?
TOEFLのAcademic Discussionタスクでは、オンラインの授業ディスカッションに参加することが求められます。教授の質問と他の学生の回答を読んだ上で、約10分以内に自分の意見を述べ、それを裏付ける投稿を作成します。
Academic Discussionタスクはどのように採点されますか?
このタスクは0〜5点の尺度で採点され、ディスカッションとの関連性、言語使用の質(文法、語彙、文構造)、そして具体的な例と論理的な根拠を用いてどれだけ考えを展開・裏付けできているかが評価基準となります。
このページに表示されているユーザーサンプルとは何ですか?
これらは、LingoLeap上でこの問題を練習した実際のTOEFL受験者から提出された回答です。各サンプルは当社のAI採点エンジンによって評価されており、スコアと、強みや改善点に関する詳細なフィードバックが提供されます。
AI評価の精度はどの程度ですか?
LingoLeapのAI評価エンジンは、ETSの公式採点基準をもとにトレーニングされ、人間の採点者のスコアと照合して調整されています。自動採点システムに完璧なものはありませんが、練習用として信頼できるフィードバックを提供し、具体的な改善点を特定するのに役立ちます。
このAcademic Discussionタスクをどうやって練習できますか?
無料のLingoLeapアカウントに登録することで練習できます。まさにこの質問に対する自分の回答を書いて提出すると、文章に関する詳細なフィードバック付きのAI評価をすぐに受け取ることができます。
Academic Discussionの回答はどのくらいの長さにすべきですか?
120〜150語を目安にしてください。このタスクでは回答を書くための時間が10分与えられます。より長い回答を書くことよりも、明確さ、具体的な例による意見の裏付け、ディスカッションの文脈への言及を重視してください。

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