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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on political science.Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response,you should 1)express and support your personal opinion 2)make a contribution to the discussion in your own words An effective response will contain at least 100 words.You have ten minutes to write.

AI 기반 평가와 피드백이 포함된 실제 사용자 제출 답안

사용자 제출 예시 1개 이용 가능

무료 연습 시작하기

과제 개요

Professor

Today we're going to talk about the debate between economic growth and protecting the environment.Economic growth creates new jobs and gives people money they can use to improve their lives.On the other hand,if we protect the environment it can be enjoyed both by ourselves and future generations.If you had to choose between prioritizing economic growth or protecting the environment,which one would you choose. Why?

Alex

I would prioritize the environment.We only have one planet and if we don't take care of it,we won't have pleasant lives in the future.Economic growth can be important,but not at the expense of the environment.I think we need to shift towards more environmentally-friendly economic practices,such as investing in renewable energy and promoting environmentally-friendly technologies. We'll all live much healthier lives if the world around us is clean.

Maggie

While I agree with Alex that environmental sustainability is important,I think that economic growth is the only way to solve many of the social and economic problems we face. We need a strong economy to create jobs,reduce poverty,and improve standards of living. Not only that,but if companies grow stronger and more profitable,they might eventually develop new technologies that solve our environmental problems.

사용자 예시 및 평가 결과

1

사용자 예시 #1

In my opinion, I'm aside with Maggie's points of view which prioritizes economic growth. To begin with, the economic development has safeguarded a har...

점수
26

사용자 예시

In my opinion, I'm aside with Maggie's points of view which prioritizes economic growth. To begin with, the economic development has safeguarded a harmonious and stable life for the residents. With the economy at a standstill, people will be too tired to make ends meet and will not think of protecting the environment. On the contrary, vigorous economic growth will promote scientific and technological progress as well as the improvement of people's well-being, which will in turn enable many environmental protection measures to be carried out. For example, more energy efficient appliances could be developed to reduce pollution. Alex's viewpoint has some truth in it, but he has over-idealised the idea of building an environmentally friendly society. Only on the basis of a healthy economic society can we take better care of the environment.

평가 결과

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

总体来说,你的文章较好地回答了问题,表达了你的观点,并对讨论做出了贡献。然而,有一些建议可以帮助你进一步改进:

  1. 在阐述观点时,可以提供更多具体的例子和细节来支持你的论点。

  2. 注意使用恰当的连接词和过渡词,使文章更连贯。

示例1(英文): Instead of "For example, more energy efficient appliances could be developed to reduce pollution.", you could write "For example, with a strong economy, companies can invest in research and development to create more energy-efficient appliances, which will ultimately reduce pollution and contribute to environmental protection."

示例2(英文): To improve the coherence of your essay, you can add transition words like "Moreover" or "Furthermore" at the beginning of some sentences. For example: "Moreover, vigorous economic growth will promote scientific and technological progress as well as the improvement of people's well-being."

4. 文章结构与组织

你的文章结构清晰,包括引言、正文和结论。每个段落都集中在一个特定的观点和支持细节上。但是,在组织方面还有一些建议可以帮助你改进:

  1. 在段落之间使用更明确的过渡词,使文章更连贯。

  2. 在正文部分中,可以进一步展开论述,提供更多具体的例子和细节。

示例1(英文): To improve the transition between paragraphs, you can add phrases like "On the other hand" or "In contrast". For example: "On the other hand, Alex's viewpoint has some truth in it, but he has over-idealised the idea of building an environmentally friendly society."

示例2(英文): To further elaborate on your points in the body of your essay, you can provide more specific examples and details. For example: "A healthy economy allows governments to allocate more resources towards environmental protection initiatives, such as reforestation programs and stricter regulations on industrial pollution."

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, I'm aside with Maggie's points of viewview,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which prioritizes economic growth. To begin with, the economic development has safeguarded a harmonious and stable life for the residents. With the economy at a standstill, people will be too tired to make ends meet and will not think of protecting the environment. On the contrary, vigorous economic growth will promote scientific and technological progress as well as the improvement of people's well-being, which will in turn enable many environmental protection measures to be carried out. For example, more energy efficient appliances could be developed to reduce pollution. Alex's viewpoint has some truth in it, but he has over-idealisedoveridealized(misspelling) the idea of building an environmentally friendly society. Only on the basis of a healthy economic society can we take better care of the environment.

Section Title: Balancing Economic Growth and Environmental Protection

In my perspective, I concur with Maggie's stance on prioritizing economic growth. Primarily, economic development ensures a harmonious and stable life for citizens. In a stagnant economy, individuals struggle to make ends meet, leaving little concern for environmental protection. Conversely, robust economic growth fosters scientific and technological advancements, as well as improved living standards, which in turn facilitate the implementation of various environmental protection measures. For instance, the development of energy-efficient appliances could mitigate pollution. While Alex's viewpoint holds merit, it idealizes the concept of constructing an eco-friendly society excessively. A sustainable environment can only be achieved upon the foundation of a thriving economic society. (113 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: Balancing Economic Growth and Environmental Protection

In my opinion, I'm perspective (Changed "opinion" to "perspective" for a more natural tone), I concur with Maggie's stance on prioritizing economic growth (Reworded "I'm aside with Maggie's points of view which prioritizes economic growth. To begin with, the growth" for clarity and readability). Primarily, economic development has safeguarded ensures a harmonious and stable life for the residents. With citizens (Rephrased "the residents" to "citizens" for better word choice). In a stagnant economy, individuals struggle to make ends meet, leaving little concern for environmental protection (Reworded "With the economy at a standstill, people will be too tired to make ends meet and will not think of protecting the environment. On the contrary, vigorous environment" for clarity). Conversely, robust economic growth will promote fosters scientific and technological progress advancements, as well as the improvement of people's well-being, improved living standards (Changed "well-being" to "living standards"), which will in turn enable many facilitate the implementation of various environmental protection measures to be carried out. measures. For example, more instance, the development of energy-efficient appliances could mitigate pollution (Reworded "more energy efficient appliances could be developed to reduce pollution. pollution" for better word choice). While Alex's viewpoint has some truth in it, but he holds merit, it idealizes the concept of constructing an eco-friendly society excessively (Rephrased "he has over-idealised the idea of building an environmentally friendly society. Only society"). A sustainable environment can only be achieved upon the foundation of a thriving economic society (Reworded "Only on the basis of a healthy economic society can we take better care of the environment.environment" for clarity and readability).

8 思维导图


1. Balancing Economic Growth and Environmental Protection
   1.1 Prioritizing economic growth
       1.1.1 Harmonious and stable life for citizens
       1.1.2 Stagnant economy vs robust economic growth
       1.1.3 Scientific and technological advancements
   1.2 Environmental protection measures
       1.2.1 Energy-efficient appliances
       1.2.2 Mitigating pollution
   1.3 Alex's viewpoint: idealizing eco-friendly society excessively
   1.4 Sustainable environment upon thriving economic society foundation

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
concur/kənˈkɜr/verbagree; be of the same opinion同意,一致意见I concur with Maggie's stance on prioritizing economic growth.
harmonious/hɑrˈmoʊniəs/adjectiveforming a pleasing or consistent whole和谐的Economic development ensures a harmonious and stable life for citizens.
stagnant/ˈstæɡnənt/adjectiveshowing no activity; not developing or making progress停滞的In a stagnant economy, individuals struggle to make ends meet, leaving little concern for environmental protection.
robust/roʊˈbʌst//adjective/strong and healthy; vigorous/强健的,茁壮的/Conversely, robust economic growth fosters scientific and technological advancements.
facilitate/fəˈsɪlɪteɪt/verbmake (an action or process) easy or easier促进,使便利Improved living standards facilitate the implementation of various environmental protection measures.
mitigate/ˈmɪtɪgeɪt/verbmake less severe, serious, or painful减轻,缓和The development of energy-efficient appliances could mitigate pollution.
idealize/aɪˈdiəˌlaɪz//verb/regard or represent as perfect or better than in reality/理想化/While Alex's viewpoint holds merit, it idealizes the concept of constructing an eco-friendly society excessively.
sustainable/səˈsteɪnəbəl//adjective/able to be maintained at a certain rate or level/可持续的/A sustainable environment can only be achieved upon the foundation of a thriving economic society.
thriving/ˈθraɪvɪŋ/adjectiveprosperous and growing; flourishing繁荣的A sustainable environment can only be achieved upon the foundation of a thriving economic society.

Academic Discussion 채점 방식

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 ETS 공식 채점 기준에 따라 평가됩니다. AI 평가는 여러 측면에서 각 답안을 분석합니다.

관련성 및 기여도

답안이 질문에 답하고 토론에 의미 있게 기여하는가?

언어 사용

문법 정확성, 어휘 범위, 문장 구조의 질.

전개 및 근거

구체적인 예시와 명확한 논리로 아이디어가 잘 전개되었는가?

답안에서 나타나는 공통 패턴

이 과제에 대한 사용자 제출 답안을 분석한 결과, 학생 답안에서 관찰된 공통 패턴은 다음과 같습니다.

많은 학생이 명확한 의견을 제시하지만 구체적인 뒷받침 예시가 부족합니다.

높은 점수를 받은 답안은 리딩 지문과 다른 참여자의 의견을 직접 인용합니다.

점수가 높은 답안은 다양한 문장 구조와 학술적 어휘를 사용합니다.

시간 관리는 핵심 요소입니다 — 서두른 느낌을 주는 답안은 전개 항목에서 낮은 점수를 받는 경향이 있습니다.

학습 팁

1

글을 쓰기 전에 프롬프트를 꼼꼼히 읽고 질문의 모든 부분을 파악하세요.

2

답안에서 리딩 지문과 다른 학생들의 의견을 언급하세요.

3

핵심 주장을 뒷받침할 구체적인 예시를 사용하고, 일반적인 진술은 피하세요.

4

120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 답안이 길다고 항상 좋은 것은 아니며, 명료함과 초점이 더 중요합니다.

5

시험 조건에서 유창하게 답하기 위해 시간을 정해(10분) 연습하세요.

자주 묻는 질문

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제란 무엇인가요?
TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 온라인 수업 토론에 참여하는 것을 요구합니다. 교수의 질문과 다른 학생들의 답변을 읽은 후, 약 10분 안에 자신의 의견을 표현하고 뒷받침하는 글을 작성하게 됩니다.
Academic Discussion 과제는 어떻게 채점되나요?
이 과제는 토론과의 관련성, 언어 사용의 질(문법, 어휘, 문장 구조), 그리고 구체적인 예시와 근거를 통해 아이디어를 얼마나 잘 전개하고 뒷받침하는지를 기준으로 0~5점 척도로 채점됩니다.
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무료 LingoLeap 계정에 가입하여 연습할 수 있습니다. 바로 이 질문에 대한 답변을 직접 작성하여 제출하면, 글쓰기에 대한 상세한 피드백과 함께 즉시 AI 평가를 받을 수 있습니다.
Academic Discussion 답변은 얼마나 길게 써야 하나요?
120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 이 과제는 답변을 작성할 10분의 시간을 제공합니다. 더 긴 답변을 쓰기보다는 명확성, 구체적인 예시로 의견을 뒷받침하는 것, 토론 맥락을 참조하는 것에 집중하세요.

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