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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Instructions Your professor is teaching a class on city administration. Write a post responding to the professor' s question. In your response, you should express and support your personal opinion make a contribution to the discussion in your own words An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

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タスク概要

Professor

Around the world, urban areas need to deal with the problem of city-center traffic. Often too many vehicles use the roads, and the roads have exẞ extremely high traffic at certain times of the day. Some city governments are trying to decrease traffic congestion by introducing congestion pricing: drivers will be charged a substantial fee for driving their vehicles into the city center during busy times of the day. Do you think that congestion pricing is a good idea? Why and why not?

Andrew

If congestion pricing is imposed, then some drivers will avoid visiting the city center during busy times. Businesses there will suffer because they will lose customers. And because businesses pay taxes, cities may lose more money than they would gain by charging the traffic congestion fee.

Claire

I think congestion pricing is a good idea because if people have to pay extra to drive into the city center, maybe they will share rides to split the cost of the fee. What leads to traffic congestion is the fact that so many people are driving alone in a car when they could be carpooling.

ユーザーサンプルと評価結果

1

ユーザーサンプル #1

It is an undeniable that the proposal presented by Andrew is effective to some extent, from my perspective, I’m inclined to agree with Claire viewpoin...

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26

ユーザーサンプル

It is an undeniable that the proposal presented by Andrew is effective to some extent, from my perspective, I’m inclined to agree with Claire viewpoint that the congestion pricing will bring out some benefits to the city and its residents. The primary reason is that if there is no such policy in a city, the individuals from other areas will perceive this as an opportunity to make money by establishing economic company in these regions. Consequently, the external merchants will become the direct competitors for the local inhabitants. Furthermore, an excessive flux of external people could significantly disrupt the lives of local communities, who have long enjoyed a peaceful live. Additionally, a sudden increase in people might damage the local environment including bring noise and litter that would undermine the residents’ quality of life. To sum up, adopting congestion pricing policy in the city could benefit local communities.

評価結果

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

  • Estimated Score: 26

3. 任务完成度

从任务完成度的角度来看,这篇文章基本上满足了题目要求,表达了对城市拥堵收费政策的支持。但是,文章可以在以下方面进行改进:首先,在论述拥堵收费政策的好处时,可以更具体地提到安德鲁和克莱尔的观点,并对其进行分析。其次,尝试引入更多与主题相关的论据和例子来支持自己的观点。

示例1(改进):例如,在讨论拥堵收费政策可能带来的经济效益时,可以详细分析克莱尔提到的共享出行可能减少交通拥堵的观点,并给出具体数据或案例。

示例2(改进):此外,在回应安德鲁关于拥堵收费可能影响商业和税收的观点时,可以指出城市中心地区其他潜在优势(如公共交通便利、人流密集等),这些优势可能抵消部分损失。

4. 文章结构与组织

从文章结构和组织的角度来看,这篇文章的结构相对清晰,包括了引言、正文和结论。但是,可以在以下方面进行改进:首先,尝试在引言部分简要概述自己的观点和论据。其次,在正文部分,每个段落都应该聚焦于一个具体的论点,并提供详细的支持细节。

示例1(改进):在引言部分,可以这样写:“在本文中,我将分析拥堵收费政策的优缺点,并以安德鲁和克莱尔的观点为例来支持我的看法。”

示例2(改进):在正文部分,可以将一个段落专门用于讨论拥堵收费政策如何促进共享出行以减少交通拥堵:“克莱尔提到了一个重要观点,即拥堵收费政策可能鼓励人们选择共享出行以分摊费用。这样一来,每辆车上的乘客数量将增加,从而减少车辆总数并缓解交通拥堵。”

5. 语法批改

It is an undeniable that the proposal presented by Andrew is effective to some extent, fromextent. From my perspective, I'm inclined to agree with ClaireClaire's viewpoint that the congestion pricing will bring out some benefits to the city and its residents. The primary reason is that if there is no such policy in a city, the individuals from other areas will perceive this as an opportunity to make money by establishing economic company in these regions. Consequently, the external merchants will become the direct competitors for the local inhabitants. Furthermore, an excessive fluxinflux of external people could significantly disrupt the lives of local communities, who have long enjoyed a peaceful live.life. Additionally, a sudden increase in people might damage the local environmentenvironment, including bringbringing noise and litter that would undermine the residents' quality of life. To sum up, adopting congestion pricing policy in the city could benefit local communities.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

While Andrew's argument holds some merit, I concur with Claire's perspective that implementing congestion pricing can yield significant benefits for both the city and its residents. The primary reason is that without such a policy, individuals from other areas may exploit this opportunity to establish businesses in these regions, inadvertently becoming direct competitors for local inhabitants. Moreover, an excessive influx of external people could substantially disrupt the lives of local communities who have long enjoyed a peaceful existence. Additionally, a sudden increase in population might adversely impact the local environment by introducing noise and litter, ultimately undermining residents' quality of life. In essence, adopting a congestion pricing policy could prove advantageous for local communities. (119 words)

It is an undeniable While Andrew's argument holds some merit (revised for clarity and natural tone), I concur with Claire's perspective that the proposal presented by Andrew is effective to some extent, from my perspective, I’m inclined to agree with Claire viewpoint that the implementing congestion pricing will bring out some can yield significant benefits to for both the city and its residents. residents (rephrased to maintain a natural tone). The primary reason is that if there is no without such policy in a city, the policy, individuals from other areas will perceive may exploit this as an opportunity to make money by establishing economic company establish businesses in these regions. Consequently, the external merchants will become the regions (clarified phrasing), inadvertently becoming direct competitors for the local inhabitants. Furthermore, Moreover, an excessive flux influx of external people could significantly substantially disrupt the lives of local communities, communities who have long enjoyed a peaceful live. existence (revised for better flow and clarity). Additionally, a sudden increase in people population might damage adversely impact the local environment including bring by introducing noise and litter that would undermine the residents’ litter, ultimately undermining residents' quality of life. To sum up, life (improved phrasing for readability). In essence, adopting a congestion pricing policy in the city could benefit prove advantageous for local communities.communities (rephrased to maintain a natural tone).

8 思维导图


- 主题: 拥堵收费政策
  - 支持观点: 克莱尔
    - 原因1: 避免外来竞争
    - 原因2: 维护当地社区生活
    - 原因3: 减少环境影响
  - 反对观点: 安德鲁
    - 理由1: 成本问题
    - 理由2: 对当地居民不公平

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
congestion/kənˈdʒɛstʃən/nounovercrowding, especially in urban areas拥堵Congestion pricing can help reduce traffic in urban areas.
exploit/ɪkˈsplɔɪt/verbto take advantage of a situation利用Some businesses exploit the lack of regulations.
influx/ˈɪnflʌks/nouna large number of people or things arriving大量涌入An influx of tourists can boost the local economy.
disrupt/dɪsˈrʌpt/verbto interrupt or cause disorder/扰乱/The construction work disrupted the daily lives of residents.
environment/ɪnˈvaɪrənmənt/nounsurroundings or conditions in which one lives/环境/Protecting the environment is a global responsibility.
litter/ˈlɪtər/nountrash or waste scattered in an area/垃圾/Littering can lead to fines and damage the environment.
policy/ˈpɑləsi/nouna course of action adopted by an organization/政策/The government introduced a new policy to tackle unemployment.
advantageous/ædvənˈteɪdʒəs/adjectivebeneficial or favorable/有利的/The new trade agreement is advantageous for both countries.
undermine/ʌndərˈmaɪn/verbto weaken or damage something/削弱/Constant criticism can undermine a person's confidence.
quality of life/ˈkwɑləti ʌv laɪf/noun phrasethe general well-being of individuals and societies/生活质量/Improving public transportation can enhance the quality of life.

アカデミック・ディスカッションの採点方法

TOEFLアカデミック・ディスカッションのタスクは、ETS公式の採点基準に基づいて評価されます。AI評価は各回答を複数の観点から分析します。

関連性と貢献度

設問に的確に答え、ディスカッションに意味のある貢献をしているか?

言語使用

文法の正確さ、語彙の幅、文構造の質。

展開と裏付け

具体例と明確な論理によってアイデアが十分に展開されているか?

回答に見られる共通パターン

このタスクに寄せられたユーザー投稿の分析に基づき、受験者の回答に見られる共通パターンを紹介します。

多くの受験者は明確な意見を述べるものの、具体的な裏付け例が不足している。

高評価の回答は、リーディングパッセージや他の参加者の意見に直接言及している。

高得点の回答は、多様な文構造とアカデミックな語彙を使用している。

時間配分は重要な要素であり、急いで書かれた印象の回答は展開の評価が低くなる傾向がある。

学習のヒント

1

書き始める前に設問文を注意深く読み、質問のすべての要素を把握する。

2

回答の中でリーディングパッセージや他の受験者の意見に言及する。

3

主張を裏付けるために具体例を使い、一般論は避ける。

4

120~150語を目安にする。長い回答が必ずしも良いわけではなく、明確さと焦点の方が重要。

5

本番同様の条件で流暢さを養うため、時間を計って(10分間)回答する練習をする。

よくある質問

TOEFLのAcademic Discussionタスクとは何ですか?
TOEFLのAcademic Discussionタスクでは、オンラインの授業ディスカッションに参加することが求められます。教授の質問と他の学生の回答を読んだ上で、約10分以内に自分の意見を述べ、それを裏付ける投稿を作成します。
Academic Discussionタスクはどのように採点されますか?
このタスクは0〜5点の尺度で採点され、ディスカッションとの関連性、言語使用の質(文法、語彙、文構造)、そして具体的な例と論理的な根拠を用いてどれだけ考えを展開・裏付けできているかが評価基準となります。
このページに表示されているユーザーサンプルとは何ですか?
これらは、LingoLeap上でこの問題を練習した実際のTOEFL受験者から提出された回答です。各サンプルは当社のAI採点エンジンによって評価されており、スコアと、強みや改善点に関する詳細なフィードバックが提供されます。
AI評価の精度はどの程度ですか?
LingoLeapのAI評価エンジンは、ETSの公式採点基準をもとにトレーニングされ、人間の採点者のスコアと照合して調整されています。自動採点システムに完璧なものはありませんが、練習用として信頼できるフィードバックを提供し、具体的な改善点を特定するのに役立ちます。
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Academic Discussionの回答はどのくらいの長さにすべきですか?
120〜150語を目安にしてください。このタスクでは回答を書くための時間が10分与えられます。より長い回答を書くことよりも、明確さ、具体的な例による意見の裏付け、ディスカッションの文脈への言及を重視してください。

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