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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Instructions Your professor is teaching a class on city administration. Write a post responding to the professor' s question. In your response, you should express and support your personal opinion make a contribution to the discussion in your own words An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

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과제 개요

Professor

Around the world, urban areas need to deal with the problem of city-center traffic. Often too many vehicles use the roads, and the roads have exẞ extremely high traffic at certain times of the day. Some city governments are trying to decrease traffic congestion by introducing congestion pricing: drivers will be charged a substantial fee for driving their vehicles into the city center during busy times of the day. Do you think that congestion pricing is a good idea? Why and why not?

Andrew

If congestion pricing is imposed, then some drivers will avoid visiting the city center during busy times. Businesses there will suffer because they will lose customers. And because businesses pay taxes, cities may lose more money than they would gain by charging the traffic congestion fee.

Claire

I think congestion pricing is a good idea because if people have to pay extra to drive into the city center, maybe they will share rides to split the cost of the fee. What leads to traffic congestion is the fact that so many people are driving alone in a car when they could be carpooling.

사용자 예시 및 평가 결과

1

사용자 예시 #1

It is an undeniable that the proposal presented by Andrew is effective to some extent, from my perspective, I’m inclined to agree with Claire viewpoin...

점수
26

사용자 예시

It is an undeniable that the proposal presented by Andrew is effective to some extent, from my perspective, I’m inclined to agree with Claire viewpoint that the congestion pricing will bring out some benefits to the city and its residents. The primary reason is that if there is no such policy in a city, the individuals from other areas will perceive this as an opportunity to make money by establishing economic company in these regions. Consequently, the external merchants will become the direct competitors for the local inhabitants. Furthermore, an excessive flux of external people could significantly disrupt the lives of local communities, who have long enjoyed a peaceful live. Additionally, a sudden increase in people might damage the local environment including bring noise and litter that would undermine the residents’ quality of life. To sum up, adopting congestion pricing policy in the city could benefit local communities.

평가 결과

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

  • Estimated Score: 26

3. 任务完成度

从任务完成度的角度来看,这篇文章基本上满足了题目要求,表达了对城市拥堵收费政策的支持。但是,文章可以在以下方面进行改进:首先,在论述拥堵收费政策的好处时,可以更具体地提到安德鲁和克莱尔的观点,并对其进行分析。其次,尝试引入更多与主题相关的论据和例子来支持自己的观点。

示例1(改进):例如,在讨论拥堵收费政策可能带来的经济效益时,可以详细分析克莱尔提到的共享出行可能减少交通拥堵的观点,并给出具体数据或案例。

示例2(改进):此外,在回应安德鲁关于拥堵收费可能影响商业和税收的观点时,可以指出城市中心地区其他潜在优势(如公共交通便利、人流密集等),这些优势可能抵消部分损失。

4. 文章结构与组织

从文章结构和组织的角度来看,这篇文章的结构相对清晰,包括了引言、正文和结论。但是,可以在以下方面进行改进:首先,尝试在引言部分简要概述自己的观点和论据。其次,在正文部分,每个段落都应该聚焦于一个具体的论点,并提供详细的支持细节。

示例1(改进):在引言部分,可以这样写:“在本文中,我将分析拥堵收费政策的优缺点,并以安德鲁和克莱尔的观点为例来支持我的看法。”

示例2(改进):在正文部分,可以将一个段落专门用于讨论拥堵收费政策如何促进共享出行以减少交通拥堵:“克莱尔提到了一个重要观点,即拥堵收费政策可能鼓励人们选择共享出行以分摊费用。这样一来,每辆车上的乘客数量将增加,从而减少车辆总数并缓解交通拥堵。”

5. 语法批改

It is an undeniable that the proposal presented by Andrew is effective to some extent, fromextent. From my perspective, I'm inclined to agree with ClaireClaire's viewpoint that the congestion pricing will bring out some benefits to the city and its residents. The primary reason is that if there is no such policy in a city, the individuals from other areas will perceive this as an opportunity to make money by establishing economic company in these regions. Consequently, the external merchants will become the direct competitors for the local inhabitants. Furthermore, an excessive fluxinflux of external people could significantly disrupt the lives of local communities, who have long enjoyed a peaceful live.life. Additionally, a sudden increase in people might damage the local environmentenvironment, including bringbringing noise and litter that would undermine the residents' quality of life. To sum up, adopting congestion pricing policy in the city could benefit local communities.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

While Andrew's argument holds some merit, I concur with Claire's perspective that implementing congestion pricing can yield significant benefits for both the city and its residents. The primary reason is that without such a policy, individuals from other areas may exploit this opportunity to establish businesses in these regions, inadvertently becoming direct competitors for local inhabitants. Moreover, an excessive influx of external people could substantially disrupt the lives of local communities who have long enjoyed a peaceful existence. Additionally, a sudden increase in population might adversely impact the local environment by introducing noise and litter, ultimately undermining residents' quality of life. In essence, adopting a congestion pricing policy could prove advantageous for local communities. (119 words)

It is an undeniable While Andrew's argument holds some merit (revised for clarity and natural tone), I concur with Claire's perspective that the proposal presented by Andrew is effective to some extent, from my perspective, I’m inclined to agree with Claire viewpoint that the implementing congestion pricing will bring out some can yield significant benefits to for both the city and its residents. residents (rephrased to maintain a natural tone). The primary reason is that if there is no without such policy in a city, the policy, individuals from other areas will perceive may exploit this as an opportunity to make money by establishing economic company establish businesses in these regions. Consequently, the external merchants will become the regions (clarified phrasing), inadvertently becoming direct competitors for the local inhabitants. Furthermore, Moreover, an excessive flux influx of external people could significantly substantially disrupt the lives of local communities, communities who have long enjoyed a peaceful live. existence (revised for better flow and clarity). Additionally, a sudden increase in people population might damage adversely impact the local environment including bring by introducing noise and litter that would undermine the residents’ litter, ultimately undermining residents' quality of life. To sum up, life (improved phrasing for readability). In essence, adopting a congestion pricing policy in the city could benefit prove advantageous for local communities.communities (rephrased to maintain a natural tone).

8 思维导图


- 主题: 拥堵收费政策
  - 支持观点: 克莱尔
    - 原因1: 避免外来竞争
    - 原因2: 维护当地社区生活
    - 原因3: 减少环境影响
  - 反对观点: 安德鲁
    - 理由1: 成本问题
    - 理由2: 对当地居民不公平

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
congestion/kənˈdʒɛstʃən/nounovercrowding, especially in urban areas拥堵Congestion pricing can help reduce traffic in urban areas.
exploit/ɪkˈsplɔɪt/verbto take advantage of a situation利用Some businesses exploit the lack of regulations.
influx/ˈɪnflʌks/nouna large number of people or things arriving大量涌入An influx of tourists can boost the local economy.
disrupt/dɪsˈrʌpt/verbto interrupt or cause disorder/扰乱/The construction work disrupted the daily lives of residents.
environment/ɪnˈvaɪrənmənt/nounsurroundings or conditions in which one lives/环境/Protecting the environment is a global responsibility.
litter/ˈlɪtər/nountrash or waste scattered in an area/垃圾/Littering can lead to fines and damage the environment.
policy/ˈpɑləsi/nouna course of action adopted by an organization/政策/The government introduced a new policy to tackle unemployment.
advantageous/ædvənˈteɪdʒəs/adjectivebeneficial or favorable/有利的/The new trade agreement is advantageous for both countries.
undermine/ʌndərˈmaɪn/verbto weaken or damage something/削弱/Constant criticism can undermine a person's confidence.
quality of life/ˈkwɑləti ʌv laɪf/noun phrasethe general well-being of individuals and societies/生活质量/Improving public transportation can enhance the quality of life.

Academic Discussion 채점 방식

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 ETS 공식 채점 기준에 따라 평가됩니다. AI 평가는 여러 측면에서 각 답안을 분석합니다.

관련성 및 기여도

답안이 질문에 답하고 토론에 의미 있게 기여하는가?

언어 사용

문법 정확성, 어휘 범위, 문장 구조의 질.

전개 및 근거

구체적인 예시와 명확한 논리로 아이디어가 잘 전개되었는가?

답안에서 나타나는 공통 패턴

이 과제에 대한 사용자 제출 답안을 분석한 결과, 학생 답안에서 관찰된 공통 패턴은 다음과 같습니다.

많은 학생이 명확한 의견을 제시하지만 구체적인 뒷받침 예시가 부족합니다.

높은 점수를 받은 답안은 리딩 지문과 다른 참여자의 의견을 직접 인용합니다.

점수가 높은 답안은 다양한 문장 구조와 학술적 어휘를 사용합니다.

시간 관리는 핵심 요소입니다 — 서두른 느낌을 주는 답안은 전개 항목에서 낮은 점수를 받는 경향이 있습니다.

학습 팁

1

글을 쓰기 전에 프롬프트를 꼼꼼히 읽고 질문의 모든 부분을 파악하세요.

2

답안에서 리딩 지문과 다른 학생들의 의견을 언급하세요.

3

핵심 주장을 뒷받침할 구체적인 예시를 사용하고, 일반적인 진술은 피하세요.

4

120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 답안이 길다고 항상 좋은 것은 아니며, 명료함과 초점이 더 중요합니다.

5

시험 조건에서 유창하게 답하기 위해 시간을 정해(10분) 연습하세요.

자주 묻는 질문

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