TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on sociology. Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response you should do the following express and support your opinion. Make a contribution to the discussion in your own words An effective response will contain at least 100 words

1.子项得分 Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2.预估分数

27. 3.任务完成度

这篇文章基本上完成了任务要求，但仍有改进的空间。首先，在表达观点时，可以更具体地说明为什么禁止使用塑料是一个好主意。例如，可以提到塑料对海洋生物的影响以及其他环境问题。此外，尽管文章提到了一些替代塑料的方法，但可以更详细地讨论这些方法以及它们如何帮助减少塑料使用。

例1：在讨论禁止使用塑料的原因时，可以添加：“海洋生物经常误食塑料垃圾，导致其死亡。” 例2：在讨论替代方案时，可以添加：“另一个可行的替代品是生物降解材料，如玉米淀粉制成的包装材料。”

4.文章结构与组织 文章结构清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，在段落之间的过渡方面还有改进空间。为了使文章更连贯，请确保在段落之间使用过渡词或短语来引导读者。

例1：在第一段和第二段之间，可以添加过渡词：“首先，使用塑料带来许多弊端，包括污染环境和难以回收。其次，有许多其他有吸引力的选择可以替代塑料。” 例2：在最后一段中，在总结观点时，可以使用过渡词：“综上所述，为了确保所有居民的生活质量并为子孙后代保护我们的星球，应禁止使用塑料。”

5.语法批改

In response to the professor, I agree on this statement and concur with Rory's viewpoint, whose instance is that people can use at least less plastic. I have three primary points for my reason. Firstly, using plastic incurs many disadvantages, including polluting the environment and nature unable to recycle appropriately. Most importantly, a significant portion of the population does not pay attention to recycling plastic. Many people casually throw plastic on the street and pile it up, which harms the environment. Secondly, many other attractive choices can replace plastic, such as using glass drinks and bringing your shopping bag when you go out. Finally, With the rapid development of technology, finding the most suitable alternative to plastic products is within reach, while protecting the environment cannot wait any longer. In essence, the use of plastic should be banned to ensure a better quality of life for all inhabitants while preserving our planet for future generations.

6.文章修订

In response to the professor's question, I concur with Rory's perspective that people can be encouraged to use less plastic. I have three primary reasons for my stance.

Firstly, the utilization of plastic entails numerous disadvantages, such as environmental pollution and challenges in recycling. Most notably, a significant portion of the population neglects proper recycling practices. Many individuals casually discard plastic waste on streets and in landfills, exacerbating environmental issues.

Secondly, there are numerous appealing alternatives to plastic products that can effectively reduce our reliance on them. For instance, glass containers can replace plastic bottles for beverages, and reusable fabric bags can substitute single-use plastic bags during shopping trips.

Lastly, with the rapid advancement of technology, discovering suitable replacements for plastic products is within reach. Meanwhile, addressing environmental concerns cannot be postponed any longer. Therefore, it is imperative to reduce our dependence on plastics and adopt eco-friendly alternatives.

In summary, banning the use of plastic is essential for ensuring a better quality of life for all inhabitants while preserving our planet for future generations. (175 words)

7.文章批改

In response to the professor, professor's question, I agree on this statement and concur (revised for a more formal tone) with Rory's viewpoint, whose instance is perspective that people can be encouraged (changed to passive voice for formality) to use at least less plastic. I have three primary points reasons for my reason. stance.

Firstly, using plastic incurs many the utilization (revised for a more advanced vocabulary) of plastic entails (revised for a more advanced vocabulary) numerous disadvantages, including polluting the environment and nature unable to recycle appropriately. such as environmental pollution and challenges in recycling. Most importantly, notably, a significant portion of the population does not pay attention to neglects (revised for a more formal tone) proper recycling plastic. practices. Many people individuals casually throw plastic discard (revised for a more formal tone) plastic waste on the street and pile it up, which harms the environment. streets and in landfills, exacerbating (revised for a more advanced vocabulary) environmental issues.

Secondly, many other attractive choices there are numerous appealing alternatives to plastic products that can effectively reduce our reliance on them. For instance, glass containers can replace plastic, such as using glass drinks and bringing your plastic bottles for beverages, and reusable fabric bags can substitute single-use plastic bags during shopping bag when you go out. ¶ Finally, With trips.

Lastly, with the rapid development advancement of technology, finding the most discovering suitable alternative to replacements (changed to plural form for consistency) for plastic products is within reach, while protecting the environment reach. Meanwhile, addressing environmental concerns cannot wait be postponed any longer. Therefore, it is imperative (revised for a more advanced vocabulary) to reduce our dependence on plastics and adopt eco-friendly alternatives.

In essence, summary, banning the use of plastic should be banned to ensure is essential for ensuring a better quality of life for all inhabitants while preserving our planet for future generations.

8.思维导图

• Introduction

  • Concur with Rory
  • Encourage less plastic use

• Reason 1: Disadvantages of plastic

  • Environmental pollution
  • Challenges in recycling

• Reason 2: Appealing alternatives

  • Glass containers for beverages
  • Reusable fabric bags for shopping

• Reason 3: Technological advancements

  • Discovering suitable replacements
  • Addressing environmental concerns urgently

• Summary:

  • Banning plastic use is essential

9.关键词