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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample:.Your professor isprofessor's question. teaching a class on sociology. Write a post responding to the

AIによる評価とフィードバック付きの実際のユーザー投稿

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タスク概要

Professor

We've been discussing government budgets and the difficult decisions governmentsmust make regarding the use of public funds. Some services are clearly essential andmust be paid for by any government. But what about public funding of the arts? Do youbelieve that governments should provide financial support to artists-for example.painters, sculptors, musicians, or filmmakers? Why or why not?

Claire

enjoy art as much as anyone does, but public funds come from taxes, and I don't thinktaxpayers' hard-earned money should be spent on impractical or inessential items andservices. Artists should support themselves by selling their work to private individualsand companies. lf they can't find enough buyers, then maybe they should change careers

Paul

Personally, I think art actually is essential. Lots of public spaces in my hometown justwouldn't be the same without artwork. From statues in public parks to murals painted onthe walls of government buildings, my hometown really benefits from funding the artistswho created these works. The public spaces are simply more enjoyable for visitorsbecause of the artwork.

ユーザーサンプルと評価結果

1

ユーザーサンプル #1

In my opinion, I wholeheartedly agree with Paul’s assertion that the government should support artists with financial help, as the city need to be dec...

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25

ユーザーサンプル

In my opinion, I wholeheartedly agree with Paul’s assertion that the government should support artists with financial help, as the city need to be decorated by art. First, art can hence the happiness around a society. For instance, there are several majors like city art architect, and gardening workers, who can build the city with characteristics, such as particular sculptors and greening design which can facilitate individual’s overall well-being. Moreover, supporting artists with financial help yields significant benefit to both artist and government. For artists, they need a platform to show their artwork that can increase visibility of their artwork and improve their reputation. For government, collecting money from tickets, such as concerts and galleries, also assists government’s economic development. However, Claire posits that public funds lead taxes to the artist that they should not spend their money in such a thing. I want to highlight that the reputation of government help artists to be known by pubic in a adequate high pace.

評価結果

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

25. 3 任务完成度

整体而言,你的文章回答了问题并表达了观点。但是,有一些方面可以改进。首先,在引用讨论中的观点时,尽量使用自己的话进行阐述。其次,尝试提供更多具体的例子来支持你的观点。最后,注意语法和词汇的准确性。

示例1:在支持艺术家对社会的贡献时,可以提到:“例如,在城市公共空间中放置雕塑和壁画,不仅美化了环境,还吸引了游客。”

示例2:在讨论政府对艺术家的支持时,可以说:“政府可以通过提供资金、举办展览和演出等方式帮助艺术家扩大知名度。”

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构基本清晰,但可以进一步改进。建议在开头部分简要介绍你将要讨论的主题,并在结尾部分总结你的观点。此外,在正文段落中注意使用过渡词或短语来连接不同的观点和论据。

示例1:在文章开头,可以写:“本文将讨论政府是否应该为艺术家提供资金支持,并分析这样做的利弊。”

示例2:在正文段落中,可以使用过渡词如“此外”、“然而”等来连接不同的观点,例如:“此外,政府资助艺术家还有助于提高城市的文化氛围。然而,也有人认为这种支持可能导致公共资金的浪费。”

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, I wholeheartedly agree with Paul’s assertion that the government should support artists with financial help, as the city need to be decorated by art. First, art can hence the happiness around a society. For instance, there are several majors like city art architect, and gardening workers, who can build the city with characteristics, such as particular sculptors and greening design which can facilitate individual’s overall well-being. Moreover, supporting artists with financial help yields significant benefit to both artist and government. For artists, they need a platform to show their artwork that can increase visibility of their artwork and improve their reputation. For government, collecting money from tickets, such as concerts and galleries, also assists government’s economic development. However, Claire posits that public funds lead taxes to the artist that they should not spend their money in such a thing. I want to highlight that the reputation of government help artists to be known by pubicpublic(pubic (public) education etc.) in aan(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') adequate high pace.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In my perspective, I concur with Paul's argument that government funding for artists is essential, as it contributes to the enrichment of urban spaces through artistic expression. Firstly, art enhances the overall happiness and well-being of a society. For example, professionals such as urban art architects and landscape designers create unique cityscapes featuring distinctive sculptures and green spaces that positively impact residents' lives. Furthermore, providing financial support to artists yields substantial benefits for both the artists and the government. Artists gain a platform to showcase their work, increasing visibility and bolstering their reputation. Simultaneously, the government can generate revenue from ticket sales at events like concerts and galleries, contributing to economic growth. While Claire contends that public funds should not be allocated to artists as it increases taxpayers' burden, I would like to emphasize that government support enables artists to gain public recognition more effectively and efficiently. (152 words)

In my opinion, perspective, I wholeheartedly agree concur (changed "wholeheartedly agree" to "concur" for a more concise expression) with Paul’s assertion that the government should support artists with financial help, as the Paul's argument that government funding for artists is essential (rephrased "the city need to be decorated by art. First, art" to clarify the point), as it contributes to the enrichment of urban spaces through artistic expression. Firstly, art can hence the enhances (changed "hence" to "enhances" for correct usage) the overall happiness around and well-being of a society. For instance, there are several majors like city example, professionals such as urban art architects and landscape designers (rephrased "city art architect, and gardening workers, who can build the city with characteristics, such as particular workers" for clarity) create unique cityscapes featuring distinctive sculptures and green spaces (rephrased "particular sculptors and greening design which can facilitate individual’s overall well-being. Moreover, supporting artists with design" for better understanding) that positively impact residents' lives. Furthermore, providing financial help support to artists yields significant benefit to substantial benefits (changed "significant benefit" to "substantial benefits" for better flow) for both artist and the artists and the government. For artists, they need Artists gain a platform to show showcase their artwork that can increase work, increasing visibility of their artwork and improve and bolstering their reputation. For government, collecting money Simultaneously, the government can generate revenue from tickets, such as ticket sales at events like concerts and galleries, also assists government’s contributing to economic development. However, growth. While Claire posits contends that public funds lead should not be allocated to artists as it increases taxpayers' burden (rephrased "lead taxes to the artist that they should not spend their money in such a thing. thing" for clarity), I want to highlight that the would like to emphasize that government support enables artists to gain public recognition more effectively and efficiently (rephrased "the reputation of government help artists to be known by pubic in a an adequate high pace.pace" for better understanding).

8 思维导图

Mindmap:

- Enrichment of urban spaces
  - Artistic expression

- Enhancing happiness and well-being
  - Urban art architects
  - Landscape designers
  - Unique cityscapes
  - Distinctive sculptures
  - Green spaces

- Financial support benefits
  - Platform for artists
    - Increased visibility
    - Bolstered reputation
  - Government revenue generation
    - Ticket sales at events (concerts, galleries)
    - Economic growth contribution

- Counterargument: taxpayers' burden 
  - Effective and efficient public recognition for artists through government support 

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
enrichment/ɪnˈrɪʧmənt/nounthe act of improving the quality or value of something充实,丰富Art contributes to the enrichment of urban spaces.
cityscape/ˈsɪtiskeɪp/nounthe visual appearance of a city or urban area城市景观Urban art architects create unique cityscapes.
distinctive/dɪˈstɪŋktɪv/adjective/dɪˈstɪŋktɪv//有特色的,与众不同的/Distinctive sculptures enhance the beauty of public spaces.
landscape designer/ˈlændskeɪp dɪˈzaɪnər/nouna professional who plans and designs outdoor spaces, such as gardens, parks, and other green areas景观设计师Landscape designers create green spaces that positively impact residents' lives.
bolster/ˈboʊlstər/verbto support or strengthen something支持,加强Government funding bolsters the reputation of artists.
visibility/ˌvɪzəˈbɪlɪti/nounthe state of being seen or noticed可见度,知名度Artists gain increased visibility through government support.
revenue generation/ˈrɛvənju dʒɛnəˈreɪʃən/nounthe process of creating income for a business or organization创收,盈利The government can generate revenue from ticket sales at events like concerts and galleries.
counterargument/ˈkaʊntərˌɑrgjumənt//noun/an argument or set of reasons put forward to oppose an idea or theory developed in another argument/反驳论点,反论/While Claire contends that public funds should not be allocated to artists, I would like to emphasize that government support enables artists to gain public recognition more effectively and efficiently.
recognition/ˌrɛkəgˈnɪʃən//noun/the action or process of recognizing or being recognized, especially for one's abilities, achievements, etc./认可,赞誉/Government support enables artists to gain public recognition more effectively and efficiently.
taxpayers' burden/ˈteɪkˌpeɪərz ˈbɜrdən/nounthe financial responsibilities placed on taxpayers by the government纳税人负担Claire argues that government funding for artists increases taxpayers' burden.

アカデミック・ディスカッションの採点方法

TOEFLアカデミック・ディスカッションのタスクは、ETS公式の採点基準に基づいて評価されます。AI評価は各回答を複数の観点から分析します。

関連性と貢献度

設問に的確に答え、ディスカッションに意味のある貢献をしているか?

言語使用

文法の正確さ、語彙の幅、文構造の質。

展開と裏付け

具体例と明確な論理によってアイデアが十分に展開されているか?

回答に見られる共通パターン

このタスクに寄せられたユーザー投稿の分析に基づき、受験者の回答に見られる共通パターンを紹介します。

多くの受験者は明確な意見を述べるものの、具体的な裏付け例が不足している。

高評価の回答は、リーディングパッセージや他の参加者の意見に直接言及している。

高得点の回答は、多様な文構造とアカデミックな語彙を使用している。

時間配分は重要な要素であり、急いで書かれた印象の回答は展開の評価が低くなる傾向がある。

学習のヒント

1

書き始める前に設問文を注意深く読み、質問のすべての要素を把握する。

2

回答の中でリーディングパッセージや他の受験者の意見に言及する。

3

主張を裏付けるために具体例を使い、一般論は避ける。

4

120~150語を目安にする。長い回答が必ずしも良いわけではなく、明確さと焦点の方が重要。

5

本番同様の条件で流暢さを養うため、時間を計って(10分間)回答する練習をする。

よくある質問

TOEFLのAcademic Discussionタスクとは何ですか?
TOEFLのAcademic Discussionタスクでは、オンラインの授業ディスカッションに参加することが求められます。教授の質問と他の学生の回答を読んだ上で、約10分以内に自分の意見を述べ、それを裏付ける投稿を作成します。
Academic Discussionタスクはどのように採点されますか?
このタスクは0〜5点の尺度で採点され、ディスカッションとの関連性、言語使用の質(文法、語彙、文構造)、そして具体的な例と論理的な根拠を用いてどれだけ考えを展開・裏付けできているかが評価基準となります。
このページに表示されているユーザーサンプルとは何ですか?
これらは、LingoLeap上でこの問題を練習した実際のTOEFL受験者から提出された回答です。各サンプルは当社のAI採点エンジンによって評価されており、スコアと、強みや改善点に関する詳細なフィードバックが提供されます。
AI評価の精度はどの程度ですか?
LingoLeapのAI評価エンジンは、ETSの公式採点基準をもとにトレーニングされ、人間の採点者のスコアと照合して調整されています。自動採点システムに完璧なものはありませんが、練習用として信頼できるフィードバックを提供し、具体的な改善点を特定するのに役立ちます。
このAcademic Discussionタスクをどうやって練習できますか?
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Academic Discussionの回答はどのくらいの長さにすべきですか?
120〜150語を目安にしてください。このタスクでは回答を書くための時間が10分与えられます。より長い回答を書くことよりも、明確さ、具体的な例による意見の裏付け、ディスカッションの文脈への言及を重視してください。

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