TOEFL TPO 49 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on the specific points made in the reading passage.
旧形式のTOEFLにおけるユーザーの過去の解答サンプルとAI評価結果。
145件のアーカイブ済みユーザーサンプル
旧TOEFL形式
このタスクは以前のバージョンのTOEFL試験のものです。現在のTOEFLは異なる構成になっています。これらのアーカイブされたサンプルは、練習用の参考資料として引き続き閲覧できます。
タスク概要
読解パッセージ
Like many creatures, humpback whales migrate long distances for feeding and mating purposes. How animals manage to migrate long distances is often puzzling. In the case of humpback whales, we may have found the answer: they may be navigating by the stars, much as early human sailors did. What we know about humpback whales makes this a distinct possibility.First, humpback whales seem to be intelligent enough to use stars to navigate by. Whales' brains have a high degree of complexity'a common determiner of intelligence. This suggests that the whales' brain power far exceeds that of most other animals. The whales' well-developed cognitive ability seems to provide a sound basis for the ability to use a complex, abstract system of sensory stimuli such as the night sky for orientation.Second, humpback whales migrate in straight lines. Animals can maintain movement in a straight direction for long distances only if they orient themselves by some external objects or forces. Many birds and other terrestrial creatures, for example, use physical landmarks to help them stay on track as they migrate. Whales, which swim in the open ocean, cannot rely on land features; they could, however, rely on stars at night to provide them with external signs by which to maintain direction over long distances.Third, humpback whales exhibit an unusual behavior: they are sometimes observed floating straight up for minutes at a time, their heads above the water as though they were looking upward. The behavior is known as spy-hopping, and it is very rare among marine animals. One explanation for the function of spy-hopping is that the whales are looking at the stars, which are providing them with information to navigate by.
設問
Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on the specific points made in the reading passage.
ユーザーサンプルと評価結果
1ユーザーサンプル #1
The article and lecture are both about the possibility of how humpback whales using stars to navigate. The author of the article feels that this is pl...
ユーザーサンプル #1
The article and lecture are both about the possibility of how humpback whales using stars to navigate. The author of the article feels that this is pl...
ユーザーサンプル
The article and lecture are both about the possibility of how humpback whales using stars to navigate. The author of the article feels that this is plausible. The lecturer challenges these claims made in the articles. He thinks that these claims have flaws and are unconvincing. First of all, the author notes that humpback whale is said to be intelligent and have the brain power surpass most other animals. The fact that their well-developed cognitive ability enables them to use stars for navigation. In contrast, the lecturer says that there are other animals using this technique, too, such as ducks, but they are not highly intelligent animal. Therefore, the ability using stars for navigation is merely an instinct they were born with rather than their intelligence. Secondly, the author claims that humpback whales can maintain movement in a straight direction for long distances without external objects or forces demonstrates their dependence on using stars for directions in the open ocean. The lecturer challenges this. He notes that it is the bio-magnetite in humpback whales’ body making them sensitive to Earth’s magnetic field and allowing them to orient in a straight direction, which has nothing to do with stars. Finally, the author says that humpback whales are known for spy-hopping, which is when they are floating straight up, showing their heads above the water for minutes at a time to look at the stars for navigation. The lecturer also challenges this claim. He puts forth the idea that sharks also spy-hop, but they use this technique to hunt rather than directions. Besides, it is impossible for humpback whales to spy-hop during the day for directions since there is no stars.
評価結果
1.Sub Scores:
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Task fulfillment: 4
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Organization: 4
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Coherence and Cohesion: 4
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Language Use: 3
2.Estimated Scores:
- TOEFL iBT Integrated Writing Task 1 Score: 25
3.Task completeness: The essay does a good job of summarizing the points made in the lecture and explaining how they cast doubt on the specific points made in the reading passage. However, there is room for improvement in terms of language use and clarity. To improve the essay, consider using more precise vocabulary and varied sentence structures. Additionally, ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct.
Example 1: Original sentence: "The author notes that humpback whale is said to be intelligent and have the brain power surpass most other animals." Improved sentence: "The author highlights that humpback whales are considered intelligent, possessing brain power that surpasses most other animals."
Example 2: Original sentence: "Besides, it is impossible for humpback whales to spy-hop during the day for directions since there is no stars." Improved sentence: "Furthermore, it would be impossible for humpback whales to use spy-hopping for navigation during daylight hours since stars are not visible."
4.Essay structure and organization: The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each point of contention, and a conclusion. However, transitions between ideas could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion. Make sure to use appropriate transition words or phrases to guide readers through your argument.
Example 1: Original transition: "In contrast, the lecturer says..." Improved transition: "However, the lecturer counters this point by stating..."
Example 2: Original transition: "The lecturer also challenges this claim." Improved transition: "On the other hand, the lecturer disputes this assertion by explaining..."
5. Grammar
The article and lecture are both about the possibility of how humpback whales using stars to navigate. The author of the article feels that this is plausible. The lecturer challenges these claims made in the articles. He thinks that these claims have flaws and are unconvincing.
First of allFirst(first of all (first)), the author notes that humpback whale is said to be intelligent and have the brain power surpassto surpass(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) most other animals. The fact that their well-developed cognitive ability enables them to use stars for navigation. In contrast, the lecturer says that there are other animals using this technique, too, such as ducks, but they are not highlya highly(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.) intelligent animal. Therefore, the ability usingof using(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'of' is missing in a sentence.) stars for navigation is merely an instinct they were born with rather than their intelligence.
Secondly, the author claims that humpback whales can maintain movement in a straight direction for long distances without external objects or forcesforces,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) demonstrates their dependence on using stars for directions in the open ocean. The lecturer challenges this. He notes that it is the bio-magnetite in humpback whales’ body making them sensitive to Earth’s magnetic field and allowing them to orient in a straight direction, which has nothing to do with stars.
Finally, the author says that humpback whales are known for spy-hopping, which is when they are floating straight up, showing their heads above the water for minutes at a time to look at the stars for navigation. The lecturer also challenges this claim. He puts forth the idea that sharks also spy-hop, but they use this technique to hunt rather than directions. Besides, it is impossible for humpback whales to spy-hop during the day for directions since there isare(Detects potentially wrong usage of "is") no stars.
Section Title: 6. Revised Essay
The article and lecture both discuss the possibility of humpback whales using stars to navigate. The author of the article believes this is plausible, while the lecturer challenges these claims, finding them unconvincing.
Firstly, the author notes that humpback whales are considered intelligent and possess brain power surpassing most other animals. Their well-developed cognitive ability supposedly enables them to use stars for navigation. In contrast, the lecturer states that other animals, such as ducks, also use this technique despite not being highly intelligent. Thus, he argues that using stars for navigation is merely an instinct they were born with rather than a result of their intelligence.
Secondly, the author claims that humpback whales can maintain movement in a straight direction for long distances without external objects or forces, demonstrating their reliance on using stars for direction in the open ocean. The lecturer challenges this notion by explaining that it is bio-magnetite in humpback whales' bodies making them sensitive to Earth's magnetic field and allowing them to orient in a straight direction – an ability unrelated to stars.
Lastly, the author mentions that humpback whales are known for spy-hopping – floating straight up with their heads above water for minutes at a time – suggesting they look at stars for navigation during this behavior. The lecturer disputes this claim by pointing out that sharks also spy-hop but use this technique to hunt rather than navigate. Furthermore, he highlights that it would be impossible for humpback whales to spy-hop during daylight hours for directional purposes since no stars are visible.
In conclusion, the lecturer casts doubt on each of the author's claims regarding humpback whales using stars to navigate by presenting alternative explanations and counterarguments. (288 words)
The article and lecture are both about discuss the possibility of how humpback whales using stars to navigate. The author of the article feels that believes this is plausible. The plausible, while the lecturer challenges these claims made in the articles. He thinks that these claims have flaws and are unconvincing. claims, finding them unconvincing (I combined the first two sentences to create a more concise introduction).
First of all, Firstly, the author notes that humpback whale is said to be whales are considered intelligent and have the possess brain power surpass surpassing most other animals. The fact that their animals (I changed "is said to be" to "are considered" for a more natural tone). Their well-developed cognitive ability supposedly enables them to use stars for navigation. In contrast, the lecturer says that there are states that other animals using this technique, too, animals, such as ducks, but they are also use this technique despite not being highly intelligent animal. Therefore, the ability (I changed "animal" to "intelligent" for clarity). Thus, he argues that using stars for navigation is merely an instinct they were born with rather than a result of their intelligence. intelligence (I rephrased this sentence for better flow).
Secondly, the author claims that humpback whales can maintain movement in a straight direction for long distances without external objects or forces demonstrates forces, demonstrating their dependence reliance on using stars for directions direction in the open ocean. The lecturer challenges this. He notes this notion by explaining that it is the bio-magnetite in humpback whales’ body whales' bodies making them sensitive to Earth’s Earth's magnetic field and allowing them to orient in a straight direction, which has nothing to do with stars. direction – an ability unrelated to stars (I rephrased this sentence for better flow and clarity).
Finally, Lastly, the author says mentions that humpback whales are known for spy-hopping, which is when they are spy-hopping – floating straight up, showing up with their heads above the water for minutes at a time to – suggesting they look at the stars for navigation. stars for navigation during this behavior. The lecturer also challenges this claim. He puts forth the idea disputes this claim by pointing out that sharks also spy-hop, spy-hop but they use this technique to hunt rather than directions. Besides, navigate (I changed "directions" to "navigate" for consistency). Furthermore, he highlights that it is would be impossible for humpback whales to spy-hop during the day for directions daylight hours for directional purposes since there is no stars.stars are visible (I rephrased this sentence for better flow and clarity).
In conclusion, the lecturer casts doubt on each of the author's claims regarding humpback whales using stars to navigate by presenting alternative explanations and counterarguments (I added a concluding sentence to summarize the main points and provide closure).
8. Mind Map
1. Introduction
- Article and lecture discuss humpback whales using stars to navigate
- Author supports the idea, lecturer challenges it
2. Intelligence and Navigation
- Author: Humpback whales are intelligent, can use stars for navigation
- Lecturer: Other animals use stars too, not related to intelligence
3. Straight Movement
- Author: Whales move straight without external objects, rely on stars
- Lecturer: Bio-magnetite makes them sensitive to Earth's magnetic field, unrelated to stars
4. Spy-hopping Behavior
- Author: Whales spy-hop, look at stars for navigation during this behavior
- Lecturer: Sharks also spy-hop for hunting, not navigation; impossible during daylight hours
5. Conclusion
- Lecturer casts doubt on author's claims with alternative explanations and counterarguments
9. Key Words
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | English Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| plausible | /ˈplɔːzəbl/ | adjective | (of an argument or statement) seeming reasonable or probable | N/A | The author believes that the theory is plausible. |
| cognitive | /ˈkɒɡnɪtɪv/ | adjective | relating to cognition (mental processes of acquiring knowledge) | N/A | Their well-developed cognitive ability enables them to navigate. |
| instinct | /ˈɪnstɪŋkt/ | noun | an innate behavior pattern in response to certain stimuli | N/A | Using stars for navigation is merely an instinct they were born with. |
| bio-magnetite | /ˌbaɪoʊˈmæɡnətaɪt/ | noun | a naturally occurring magnetic mineral found in organisms | N/A | Bio-magnetite in whales' bodies makes them sensitive to Earth's magnetic field. |
| orient | /ˈɔːriənt/ | verb | to determine one's position or direction relative to surroundings | N/A | Whales can orient themselves in a straight direction. |
| spy-hopping | /ˈspaɪhɒpɪŋ/ | noun | a behavior where an animal rises vertically out of the water | N/A | Humpback whales are known for spy-hopping. |
| dispute | /dɪˈspjuːt/ | verb | to argue against or question the truth of something | N/A | The lecturer disputes the author's claim about spy-hopping. |
| counterargument | /ˈkaʊntərˌɑrɡjumənt/ | noun | an argument or set of reasons put forward to oppose an idea | N/A | The lecturer presents counterarguments to challenge the author's claims. |
| cast doubt | /kæst daʊt/ | verb phrase | to cause someone to feel uncertain about something | N/A | The lecturer casts doubt on each of the author's claims. |
| alternative | /ɔlˈtərnətiv/ | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |||
| explanation | /ekspləˈneɪʃ(ə)n/ | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | |||
| noun phrase | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ||||
| a different way of explaining or understanding something |
2ユーザーサンプル #2
Theories of humpback whales migrate long distances by stars is the fucus of both the writer and the lecturer.
First, the writer claims that the high ...
スコア20
ユーザーサンプル #2
Theories of humpback whales migrate long distances by stars is the fucus of both the writer and the lecturer. First, the writer claims that the high ...
ユーザーサンプル
Theories of humpback whales migrate long distances by stars is the fucus of both the writer and the lecturer. First, the writer claims that the high degree of humpback whales’ intelligence proves humpback whales smart enough to use stars since they can provide a sound basis. The lecturer, on the contrary, states that there is no connection between intelligence and behaviors for humpback whales. For instance, like ducks, their ability of cognitive are average, not have connection with their intelligence. Second, the reading passage uses the example that birds orient by external objects to explain the fact that whales use star as their external signs. However, the lecturer says the presence of biomagnetite in the whale’s body makes them sensitive to earth magnetic field and uses the field as external signs instead of stars. Third, the writer contends the function of spy hopping demonstrates that whales are looking at stars. The lecturer opposes the writer’s idea by saying that the purpose of spy hopping for sharks is just hunt. They just look for the animal, not for the star. Also, the time of whale’s spy hopping is the day time, which means there are no stars.
評価結果
1.子项得分 任务完成度:3 组织:3 连贯与衔接:3 语言使用:3
2.预估分数
20. 3.任务完成度
虽然你的文章涵盖了阅读和听力材料中的观点,但在解释这些观点时,你需要更详细地说明它们是如何产生疑问的。为了提高任务完成度,请确保更清楚地表达阅读和听力材料之间的对比,并详细解释听力部分是如何质疑阅读部分的观点的。
示例1: 原文:For instance, like ducks, their ability of cognitive are average, not have connection with their intelligence. 修改后:For instance, the lecturer mentions that ducks, which have only average cognitive abilities, can still use stars for navigation, suggesting that intelligence is not necessarily connected to this ability.
示例2: 原文:However, the lecturer says the presence of biomagnetite in the whale’s body makes them sensitive to earth magnetic field and uses the field as external signs instead of stars. 修改后:However, the lecturer argues that humpback whales may actually be using Earth's magnetic field for navigation due to the presence of biomagnetite in their brains, which makes them sensitive to this field.
4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构基本上是清晰的,但可以通过使用更明确的过渡词和短语来改进。此外,尝试在引入每个主要论点时使用主题句,以便读者更容易理解文章的组织。
示例1: 原文:First, the writer claims that the high degree of humpback whales’ intelligence proves humpback whales smart enough to use stars since they can provide a sound basis. 修改后:Firstly, while the writer claims that the high degree of humpback whales' intelligence makes them capable of using stars for navigation, the lecturer disputes this connection.
示例2: 原文:Second, the reading passage uses the example that birds orient by external objects to explain the fact that whales use star as their external signs. 修改后:Secondly, although the reading passage suggests that whales might use stars as external signs for navigation like birds do, the lecturer provides an alternative explanation.
5. 语法批改
Theories of humpback whales migrate long distances by stars is the fucusfocus(misspelling) of both the writer and the lecturer.
First, the writer claims that the high degree of humpback whales’ intelligence proves humpback whales smart enough to use stars since they can provide a sound basis. The lecturer, on the contrary, states that there is no connection between intelligence and behaviors for humpback whales. For instance, like ducks, their ability of cognitive are average, not have connection with their intelligence.
Second, the reading passage uses the example that birds orient by external objects to explain the fact that whales use star as their external signs. However, the lecturer says the presence of biomagnetite[No Replacement Word Found](misspelling) in the whale’s body makes them sensitive to earth magnetic field and uses the field as external signs instead of stars.
Third, the writer contends the function of spy hopping demonstrates that whales are looking at stars. The lecturer opposes the writer’s idea by saying that the purpose of spy hopping for sharks is just hunt. They just look for the animal, not for the star. Also, the time of whale’s spy hopping is the day time, which means there are no stars. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))
Section Title: 6.文章修订
The debate surrounding the theory that humpback whales navigate long distances using stars as a guide is addressed by both the author and the lecturer.
Firstly, the author asserts that the high degree of intelligence exhibited by humpback whales supports their ability to use stars for navigation, providing a sound basis for this behavior. In contrast, the lecturer argues that there is no direct correlation between intelligence and an animal's capacity to use stars for navigation. For example, ducks possess average cognitive abilities, yet they can still navigate using stars, indicating that this skill is not necessarily linked to intelligence.
Secondly, the reading passage cites birds' reliance on external objects for orientation as evidence that whales might also use stars as external cues. However, the lecturer counters this point by explaining that humpback whales have biomagnetite in their bodies, making them sensitive to Earth's magnetic field. This suggests that they may rely on this magnetic field as an external reference point rather than stars.
Lastly, the author posits that spy-hopping behavior in whales indicates they are observing stars for navigational purposes. The lecturer disputes this claim by highlighting that sharks also exhibit spy-hopping behavior but do so to hunt prey rather than observe celestial bodies. Furthermore, humpback whales often engage in spy-hopping during daylight hours when stars are not visible, casting doubt on the notion that this behavior serves a stargazing function. (235 words)
Theories of humpback whales migrate Section Title: 7.文章批改
The discussion of the theory that humpback whales navigate long distances by stars using stars as a guide is the fucus focus of both the writer and the lecturer. (Changed "fucus" to "focus" for correct spelling and meaning)
First, the writer claims that the high degree of humpback whales’ whales' intelligence proves humpback whales they are smart enough to use stars for navigation since they can provide it provides a sound basis. The lecturer, on the contrary, In contrast, the lecturer states that there is no connection between intelligence and behaviors related to star navigation for humpback whales. For instance, like ducks, their ability of ducks have average cognitive are average, abilities but can still navigate using stars, showing that this skill is not have connection with their necessarily linked to intelligence. (Rephrased for clarity and coherence)
Second, the reading passage uses the example that birds orient by birds' reliance on external objects to explain the fact that whales for orientation as an example to support the idea that whales might also use star as their stars as external signs. cues. However, the lecturer says the presence of that biomagnetite in the whale’s body whales' bodies makes them sensitive to earth Earth's magnetic field, suggesting they might use this field and uses the field as as an external signs reference point instead of stars. (Rephrased for clarity and coherence)
Third, the writer contends the function of spy hopping that spy-hopping behavior in whales demonstrates that whales they are looking at stars. stars for navigational purposes. The lecturer opposes the writer’s this idea by saying that the purpose of spy hopping for sharks is just hunt. They just look for the animal, also exhibit spy-hopping behavior but do so to hunt prey rather than observe celestial bodies. Additionally, humpback whales often engage in spy-hopping during daylight hours when stars are not for the star. Also, the time of whale’s spy hopping is the day time, which means there are no stars.visible, casting doubt on the notion that this behavior serves a stargazing function. (Rephrased for clarity and coherence)
8. Mind Map
-
Introduction
- Debate: Humpback whales navigating using stars
- Author's view vs. Lecturer's view
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Point 1: Intelligence
- Author: High intelligence supports star navigation
- Lecturer: No direct correlation between intelligence and star navigation
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Point 2: External cues
- Author: Birds use external objects, whales might use stars
- Lecturer: Whales have biomagnetite, may rely on Earth's magnetic field
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Point 3: Spy-hopping behavior
- Author: Indicates observing stars for navigation
- Lecturer: Sharks spy-hop for hunting, whales spy-hop during daylight
9. Keywords
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| navigate | /ˈnævɪɡeɪt/ | verb | to find a way to get to a place | 导航 | Humpback whales navigate long distances using various methods. |
| intelligence | /ɪnˈtɛlɪdʒəns/ | noun | the ability to learn and understand things | 智力 | The intelligence of humpback whales is often underestimated. |
| correlation | /kəˌrɛləˈreɪʃ(ə)n/ | noun | a connection between two or more things | 相关性 | There is no direct correlation between intelligence and star navigation. |
| biomagnetite | /baɪoʊˈmægnətaɪt/ | noun | a magnetic mineral found in organisms | 生物磁铁矿 | Humpback whales have biomagnetite in their bodies. |
| spy-hopping | /ˈspaɪˌhɒpɪŋ/ | verb | a behavior in which an animal rises vertically out of the water to observe its surroundings | 竖跳行为 | The lecturer disputes the claim that spy-hopping indicates star navigation. |
| celestial | /səˈlɛstiəl/ | adjective | relating to the sky or outer space | 天体的 | Sharks spy-hop for hunting, not to observe celestial bodies. |
| orientation | /ˌɔriənˈteɪʃ(ə)n/ | noun | the process of determining one's position or direction relative to external objects | 定位 | Birds rely on external objects for orientation. |
| magnetic field | /mægˈnɛtɪk fi:ld/ | noun | a region around a magnetic material where the force of magnetism acts | 磁场 | Whales may rely on Earth's magnetic field for navigation. |
| stargazing | /ˈstɑrˌgeɪzɪŋ/ | verb | observing stars and other celestial objects in the sky | 观星 | Whales spy-hop during daylight hours, casting doubt on stargazing function. |
3ユーザーサンプル #3
The author in the reading holds that humpback whales might migrate long distances by the navigation of stars, while the lecturer in the lecture expres...
スコア25
ユーザーサンプル #3
The author in the reading holds that humpback whales might migrate long distances by the navigation of stars, while the lecturer in the lecture expres...
ユーザーサンプル
The author in the reading holds that humpback whales might migrate long distances by the navigation of stars, while the lecturer in the lecture expresses an opposite opinion that the hypothesis of stars navigation is not convincing, even it is fascinating. To begin with, the author claims that the whales are highly intelligent so that they can use stars for navigation. However, the lecture contends that there is no connection between the intelligence and the ability of using stars for navigation. There are birds like ducks have the ability of navigation with average intelligence. It seems that birds are born with the ability of navigation so that this ability is no likely connected to creature's intelligence. Moreover, the author believes that the whales can migrate in straight lines, and animals can only move straightly with the help of external objects or forces. On the contrary, the lecturer maintains that animals have various ways to keep moving in straight lines with different external objects or forces. For example, the animals can use magnetic field for navigation. Some animals have organs called magnitide to sense the earth's magnetic field rather using the landscapes likes stars for navigation. Finally, the author puts forward that an unusual behavior of humpback whales called spy-hopping is whales looking at the stars. Instead, the lecturer states that the spy-hopping not definitely means looking at the stars. Animals like sharks also do this behavior but they do not migrate. Additionally, whales often do this behavior during the day, and the daylight is strong so that whales can hardly see the stars. This theory can be a pure speculation.
評価結果
1.子项得分 Task fulfillment: 4 Organization: 4 Coherence and Cohesion: 4 Language Use: 3
2.预估分数
25. 3.任务完成度
总体来说,文章较好地完成了任务要求,概述了听力中的观点,并对阅读材料中的论点进行了反驳。但在语言使用方面还有待提高。建议在以下方面进行改进:
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尽量避免使用过于简单的词汇和句式,以增加文章的表达力。
-
注意使用恰当的连接词和短语,使文章更连贯。
示例1: 原文:The author in the reading holds that humpback whales might migrate long distances by the navigation of stars, while the lecturer in the lecture expresses an opposite opinion that the hypothesis of stars navigation is not convincing, even it is fascinating. 改进:The author in the reading posits that humpback whales may navigate long distances by using stars, whereas the lecturer argues that this hypothesis, albeit fascinating, lacks convincing evidence.
示例2: 原文:It seems that birds are born with the ability of navigation so that this ability is no likely connected to creature's intelligence. 改进:This suggests that birds possess an innate ability to navigate, which is not necessarily linked to their overall intelligence.
4.文章结构与组织 文章结构基本清晰,包括引言、主体和结论。各段落专注于特定观点及其支持细节。然而,在段落之间的过渡和连接方面还有改进空间。建议在以下方面进行改进:
-
在段落之间使用更明确的过渡词或短语,使文章更连贯。
-
注意在文章中保持一致的时态。
示例1: 原文:Moreover, the author believes that the whales can migrate in straight lines, and animals can only move straightly with the help of external objects or forces. 改进:Furthermore, the author posits that whales are capable of migrating in straight lines, asserting that animals require external objects or forces to maintain such movement.
示例2: 原文:Instead, the lecturer states that the spy-hopping not definitely means looking at the stars. 改进:In contrast, the lecturer asserts that spy-hopping does not necessarily indicate that whales are observing stars.
5. 语法批改
The author in the reading holds that humpback whales might migrate long distances by the navigation of stars, while the lecturer in the lecture expresses an opposite opinion that the hypothesis of stars navigation is not convincing, even it is fascinating.
To begin with, the author claims that the whales are highly intelligent so that they can use stars for navigation. However, the lecture contends that there is no connection between the intelligence and the ability of using stars for navigation. There are birds like ducks have the ability of navigation with average intelligence. It seems that birds are born with the ability of navigation so that this ability is no likely connected to creature's intelligence.
Moreover, the author believes that the whales can migrate in straight lines, and animals can only move straightly with the help of external objects or forces. On the contrary, the lecturer maintains that animals have various ways to keep moving in straight lines with different external objects or forces. For example, the animals can use magnetic field for navigation. Some animals have organs called magnitidemagnitude(misspelling) to sense the earth's magnetic field rather using the landscapes likes stars for navigation.
Finally, the author puts forward that an unusual behavior of humpback whales called spy-hopping is whales looking at the stars. Instead, the lecturer states that the spy-hopping not definitely means looking at the stars. Animals like sharks also do this behavior but, but(comma between independent clauses) they do not migrate. Additionally, whales often do this behavior during the day, and the daylight is strong so that whales can hardly see the stars. This theory can be a pure speculation.
Section Title: 6.文章修订
The reading passage posits that humpback whales might navigate long distances by using stars, while the lecture casts doubt on this hypothesis, arguing that it is not convincing despite its fascinating nature.
Firstly, the reading asserts that humpback whales possess high intelligence, enabling them to use stars for navigation. In contrast, the lecture argues that there is no correlation between intelligence and the ability to navigate using stars. It provides the example of ducks, which have average intelligence yet can navigate using stars. This suggests that navigation ability may be an innate trait rather than one linked to a creature's intelligence.
Secondly, the author contends that whales can migrate in straight lines and animals can only maintain such movement with the assistance of external objects or forces. However, the lecturer counters this by stating that animals have various ways to move in straight lines using different external objects or forces. For instance, some animals can use Earth's magnetic field for navigation by sensing it through organs containing biomagnetite rather than relying on celestial landmarks like stars.
Lastly, the reading proposes that an unusual behavior exhibited by humpback whales called spy-hopping involves them looking at stars. The lecturer refutes this claim by pointing out that spy-hopping does not necessarily indicate star-gazing. Other animals such as sharks also exhibit this behavior but do not migrate or look at stars. Furthermore, humpback whales often spy-hop during daylight hours when stars are not visible, suggesting that this theory may be purely speculative. (251 words)
The author in the reading holds passage posits that humpback whales might migrate navigate long distances by the using stars (changed "the navigation of stars, stars" to "using stars" for clarity), while the lecturer in the lecture expresses an opposite opinion that the hypothesis of stars navigation casts doubt on this hypothesis, arguing that it is not convincing, even it is fascinating. convincing despite its fascinating nature.
To begin with, the author claims that the whales are highly intelligent so that they can Firstly, the reading asserts that humpback whales possess high intelligence, enabling them to use stars for navigation. However, In contrast, the lecture contends argues that there is no connection correlation between the intelligence and the ability to navigate using stars (rephrased "connection" to "correlation" for better word choice). It provides the example of ducks, which have average intelligence yet can navigate using stars for navigation. There are birds like ducks have the stars. This suggests that navigation ability of navigation with average intelligence. It seems that birds are born with the ability of navigation so that this ability is no likely connected to may be an innate trait rather than one linked to a creature's intelligence. intelligence (rephrased for clarity and flow).
Moreover, Secondly, the author believes that the contends that whales can migrate in straight lines, lines and animals can only move straightly maintain such movement with the help assistance of external objects or forces. On the contrary, However, the lecturer maintains counters this by stating that animals have various ways to keep moving move in straight lines with using different external objects or forces. forces (rephrased for clarity). For example, the instance, some animals can use Earth's magnetic field for navigation. Some animals have navigation by sensing it through organs called magnitide to sense the earth's magnetic field containing biomagnetite rather using the landscapes likes stars for navigation. than relying on celestial landmarks like stars (clarified and expanded explanation).
Finally, the author puts forward Lastly, the reading proposes that an unusual behavior of exhibited by humpback whales called spy-hopping is whales involves them looking at the stars. Instead, the The lecturer states that the refutes this claim by pointing out that spy-hopping does not definitely means necessarily indicate star-gazing (changed "means looking at the stars. Animals like at" to "indicate star-gazing" for better word choice). Other animals such as sharks also do exhibit this behavior but they do not migrate. Additionally, migrate or look at stars. Furthermore, humpback whales often do this behavior spy-hop during the day, and the daylight is strong so that whales can hardly see the stars. This hours when stars are not visible, suggesting that this theory can may be a pure speculation.purely speculative (rephrased for clarity and flow).
8. Mind Map

9. Keywords
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| navigate | /ˈnævɪɡeɪt/ | verb | to find one's way or direct the course of a ship, aircraft, or other vehicle | 导航 | The captain used the stars to navigate the ship through the ocean. |
| correlation | /ˌkɒrəˈleɪʃən/ | noun | a mutual relationship or connection between two or more things | 相关性 | There is a strong correlation between intelligence and problem-solving ability. |
| innate | /ɪˈneɪt/ | adjective | existing in one from birth; inborn; natural | 天生的 | Innate talent can only take you so far; hard work and dedication are also important. |
| biomagnetite | _ /baɪoʊˈmægnətaɪt/_ | noun | a naturally occurring magnetic mineral found in some organisms, used for navigation | 生物磁矿物 | Some birds have biomagnetite in their beaks, which helps them sense Earth's magnetic field for navigation. |
| celestial | /səˈlɛstʃəl/ | adjective | pertaining to the sky or visible heaven, or to the universe beyond Earth's atmosphere | 天体的 | The celestial bodies, such as stars and planets, have fascinated humans for centuries. |
| landmarks | /ˈlændmɑrks/ | noun | prominent or conspicuous objects on land that serve as guides, especially to sailors | 地标 | Sailors used to rely on landmarks along the coast to navigate their ships. |
| spy-hopping | /ˈspaɪˌhɒpɪŋ/ | verb | a behavior in which a whale rises vertically out of the water, possibly to observe its surroundings | 间谍跳跃 | Humpback whales are known for their spy-hopping behavior, which allows them to get a better view above water. |
| speculative | /ˈspɛkjələtɪv/ | adjective | theoretical rather than practical; based on conjecture or incomplete facts or information | 推测性的 | The idea that humpback whales navigate using stars is speculative and lacks concrete evidence. |
| migrate | /ˈmaɪgreɪt/ | verb | to move from one region or habitat to another, usually regularly according to the seasons | 迁徙 | Many bird species migrate south during the winter months. |
| daylight | /ˈdeɪlaɪt/ | noun | the light of day; the period of daytime | 日光 | Humpback whales often spy-hop during daylight hours when stars are not visible. |
Section Title: 6. Article Revision
The reading passage posits that humpback whales might navigate long distances by using stars, while the lecture casts doubt on this hypothesis, arguing that it is not convincing despite its fascinating nature.
Firstly, the reading asserts that humpback whales possess high intelligence, enabling them to use stars for navigation. In contrast, the lecture argues that there is no correlation between intelligence and the ability to navigate using stars. It provides the example of ducks, which have average intelligence yet can navigate using stars. This suggests that navigation ability may be an innate trait rather than one linked to a creature's intelligence.
Secondly, the author contends that whales can migrate in straight lines and animals can only maintain such movement with the assistance of external objects or forces. However, the lecturer counters this by stating that animals have various ways to move in straight lines using different external objects or forces. For instance, some animals can use Earth's magnetic field for navigation by sensing it through organs containing biomagnetite rather than relying on celestial landmarks like stars.
Lastly, the reading proposes that an unusual behavior exhibited by humpback whales called spy-hopping involves them looking at stars. The lecturer refutes this claim by pointing out that spy-hopping does not necessarily indicate star-gazing. Other animals such as sharks also exhibit this behavior but do not migrate or look at stars. Furthermore, humpback whales often spy-hop during daylight hours when stars are not visible, suggesting that this theory may be purely speculative.
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