TOEFL TPO 27 Speaking Task 4 Sample: Using the examples from the lecture, explain two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand.

1.子项得分

• Delivery: 3

• Language Use: 2.5

• Topic Development: 3

2.预估分数

• 22

3.表达 在回答中，发音大部分清晰，但有些地方需要改进。例如，“Atacritus”应该是“aqueducts”。此外，尽量减少不必要的停顿，让语言更流畅。建议多加练习，提高发音准确度和语言流利度。

4.话题发展 The response is mostly coherent and well-organized, but there are some areas for improvement. The first development, concrete, is explained well, but the second development should be referred to as "aqueducts" instead of "Atacritus." Additionally, try to provide more specific examples or details about how these developments allowed Roman cities to expand. For example, you could mention how aqueducts allowed cities to be built in locations far from rivers and still have access to fresh water. Overall, work on using accurate terminology and providing more detailed explanations to improve topic development.

5.语言使用

Original Answer: The first thing allows ancient Romans to expand so rapidly is concrete. The concrete of the buildings make the Romans can build some new structures like bridges. And the bridges made the Romans expand more rapidly because they can pass the river by the bridges. And not like the other civilizations, they cannot even pass the river so efficiently. And second, the Romans invented the channel which is called the Atacritus. And the Atacritus makes the Romans could get water from the mountain and live far away from the river, which often gives them water resources as we all know. And that allows them to live far away from the river so that they can expand.

Corrected Answer: The first development that allowed ancient Romans to expand rapidly was their advanced concrete technology. This enabled them to construct new structures such as bridges, which facilitated their expansion across rivers more efficiently than other civilizations. The second development was their invention of aqueducts, which allowed them to transport water from mountain sources and live far away from rivers, providing essential water resources for their growing cities. (将“thing”改为“development”，更准确地描述罗马的发展；将“make”改为“enabled”，使句子结构更自然；将“Atacritus”改为“aqueducts”，纠正单词拼写；简化句子，使语言更自然流畅。)

Revised Answer (140 words): The first development that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand rapidly was their advanced concrete technology. This innovative material enabled them to construct durable and robust structures such as bridges, which facilitated their expansion across rivers more efficiently than other civilizations at that time. These bridges allowed the transportation of equipment and materials, enabling Roman cities to grow on both sides of the river. The second development was their invention of aqueducts, an ingenious system of open channels that transported water from mountain sources to cities. These aqueducts provided a steady flow of fresh water over great distances, even to places far from rivers. As a result, Roman cities could be built in new locations and still have access to essential water resources for drinking and bathing, allowing them to grow larger and expand further than ever before.

6.思维导图

• Ancient Roman Cities Expansion
  • Advanced Concrete Technology
    • New Structures
      • Bridges
        • Efficient Expansion across Rivers
  • Invention of Aqueducts
    • Open Channels
      • Water Transportation from Mountain Sources
        • Cities Built Far from Rivers
          • Access to Essential Water Resources

7.关键词

1.Sub Scores

• Delivery: 3

• Language Use: 3

• Topic Development: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Total Score: 23

3.Delivery The speaker's delivery is generally clear and fluid, but there are some occasional pauses that could be reduced. Additionally, some words were mispronounced, such as "hearths" instead of "hardens." To improve, the speaker should practice speaking more consistently and work on their pronunciation of certain words.

4.Topic Development The response is coherent and well-organized, with clear connections between ideas. However, the speaker could provide more specific examples or details to better support their points. For example, they could mention the Roman bridges and aqueducts as specific examples of the advancements that allowed Roman cities to expand. To improve topic development, the speaker should focus on providing more concrete examples and elaborating on their points.

5.Language Use

Original Answer: First, they have building materials, concrete slabs can become hearths, so that they can make bridges to transport items or commodities through wagons. And also, it connects different parts of the towns to remove the natural barriers. They also have the ability to transport fresh water, for example, they can use open tunnels to transport fresh water from mountains to cities, to satisfy the daily demands for water. So that they don't have to use their cities near rivers, enabling them to expand the cities.

Corrected Answer: First, they had advanced building materials(added "advanced" for clarity); concrete slabs could become hearthsharden underwater(corrected "become hearths" to "harden underwater" for accuracy), allowing them to construct bridges for transporting goods via wagons. This connected different parts of the cities and overcame natural barriers. They also developed a method for transporting fresh water(rephrased for clarity); they used open tunnelsaqueducts(corrected "open tunnels" to "aqueducts" for accuracy) to bring water from mountains to cities, meeting daily water needs. This eliminated the need for cities to be located near rivers and enabled expansion.

Revised 140-word Answer: The ancient Romans had two key developments that allowed their cities to expand. First, they had advanced building materials, such as concrete that could harden underwater. This innovation enabled them to construct sturdy bridges for transporting goods via wagons, connecting different parts of the cities and overcoming natural barriers like rivers. Second, they developed an efficient method for transporting fresh water using aqueducts. These structures carried water from mountain sources to cities, meeting the daily water needs of the population. As a result, Roman cities were no longer restricted to being located near rivers, allowing for greater expansion and growth. These advancements in building materials and water transportation systems significantly contributed to the expansion of ancient Roman cities, setting them apart from other cities of the ancient world.

6.Mind Map

- Ancient Roman Cities Expansion
  - Advanced Building Materials
    - Concrete hardening underwater
    - Sturdy bridges
      - Transporting goods via wagons
      - Connecting city parts
      - Overcoming natural barriers (rivers)
  - Efficient Water Transportation
    - Aqueducts
      - Bringing water from mountains to cities
      - Meeting daily water needs
    - No need for cities near rivers
    - Greater expansion and growth

7.Key Words

1.子项得分

• 交付：3

• 语言使用：3

• 话题发展：3

2.预估分数

• 总分：23

3.表达 从交付方面来看，回答基本上是清晰的，但有时候语速不太稳定，偶尔出现停顿。为了提高交付能力，建议练习更流利、稳定的语速，并尽量减少不必要的停顿。此外，注意正确发音，以避免拼写错误。

4.话题发展 从话题发展方面来看，回答内容基本上是连贯和组织良好的，但在一些地方可以更加明确地表达观点。例如，在解释罗马桥梁的优势时，可以更详细地描述这种特殊混凝土如何使桥梁更加坚固。同时，在谈到引水渠时，可以强调它们是如何精心规划和建造的，以确保水源稳定。总之，为了提高话题发展能力，请尝试在回答中提供更多具体细节和例子。

5.语言使用

原文：Well, the professor explained two developments that allow ancient Roman cities to expand. First, Romans have an advantage in building materials, comets. And comets are hot underwater, so that people can build better bridges that can cross white rivers. And after that, Romans can transport equipment and materials across rivers, so they can build cities on both sides of rivers. The second strategy is that they can build aqueducts. That aqueducts can move fresh water, and it's an open channel to transport water from high mountains to cities. They can carry tremendously of water, and because of that, humans can have clean water to drink, so they don't need to locate near water.

修正后：Well, the professor explained two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand. First, the Romans had an advantage in building materials, specifically concrete. This concrete hardened underwater, enabling people to construct better bridges that could span wide rivers. As a result, the Romans could transport equipment and materials across rivers and build cities on both sides of them. The second development was the construction of aqueducts. These aqueducts moved fresh water through open channels from high mountains to cities. They could carry tremendous amounts of water, allowing people to have clean drinking water without needing to live near a river.

解释：

• (将"allow"改为"allowed"，以保持时态一致。)

• (将"comets"改为"specifically concrete"，因为原文中的词汇不正确。)

• (将"hot underwater"改为"hardened underwater"，以更准确地描述混凝土的特性。)

• (将"white rivers"改为"wide rivers"，因为原文中的词汇不正确。)

• (将"strategy"改为"development"，以保持一致性。)

• (将"tremendously of water"改为"tremendous amounts of water"，以提高语法准确性。)

• (将"humans can have clean water to drink, so they don't need to locate near water."改为"allowing people to have clean drinking water without needing to live near a river."，以提高表达的自然度。)

修订版（140字）：

The professor explained two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand. Firstly, the Romans had an advantage in building materials, specifically concrete. This concrete hardened underwater, enabling people to construct better bridges that could span wide rivers. As a result, the Romans could transport equipment and materials across rivers and build cities on both sides of them. The second development was the construction of aqueducts. These aqueducts moved fresh water through open channels from high mountains to cities. They could carry tremendous amounts of water, allowing people to have clean drinking water without needing to live near a river.

6.思维导图

- Introduction
  - Two developments

- Development 1
  - Building materials
    - Concrete
      - Hardened underwater
      - Better bridges
        - Span wide rivers
        - Transport equipment and materials
        - Cities on both sides of rivers

- Development 2
  - Aqueducts
    - Open channels
      - Fresh water from high mountains to cities
      - Tremendous amounts of water
      - Clean drinking water without living near a river

7.关键词