TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on urban planning.Write a post responding to the professor's question.
真實考生作答範例,搭配 AI 評分與回饋
目前有 21 篇考生投稿範例
開始免費練習題型概述
Professor
In the next few weeks, we'll be talking about urban traffic management. Let's begin by discussing one popular idea-creating car-free central zones. Some cities around the world have recently designated their downtown areas as being automobile-free, which means that vehicles are not allowed to enter the city centers. Do you think that more cities should make their central zones car- free? Why or why not?
Student A
I support the idea of establishing car-free central zones because this will result in one important benefit for city residents-it will be better for their health. Instead of driving everywhere, people will be encouraged to walk or cycle more.It would be a great way to incorporate exercise into people's routines.
Student B
It sounds like a good idea, but I'm skeptical. My main concern is that many businesses located in the city centers, such as shops and restaurants, may suffer because the customers will no longer be able to reach those businesses by car. For some customers, if they can't drive, they won't go at all.
考生範例與評分結果
1考生範例 #1
Currently, with the advance of the society, the government attaches great importance to adopting measures in order to improve the citizen's life quali...
分數25
考生範例 #1
Currently, with the advance of the society, the government attaches great importance to adopting measures in order to improve the citizen's life quali...
考生範例
Currently, with the advance of the society, the government attaches great importance to adopting measures in order to improve the citizen's life quality. I firmly believe that it is crucial for government to prevent cars into the central zone and it will enables the environment in the central zone cleaner and comfortable. When amounts of cars enter the central zone, which will contaminate the air quality by realizing the carbon dioxide and toxic atmosphere can also make the environment become noisy. If the government will prevent this condition, it is undoubted that not only the individual's mood will be happy and relaxing than ever before, but also will alleviate the environment pressure. Without the government's efforts to deal with this problem, the people's motivation in eliminating pollutions would be significantly more challenging.
評分結果
1. 子项得分
-
Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5
-
Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0
-
Language Use and Grammar: 3.5
2. 预估分数
25. 3 任务完成度
在文章中,你表达了自己的观点,并提供了一些支持。然而,为了更好地完成任务,建议你可以更具体地回应教授的问题,以及与同学的讨论。此外,尝试使用更多不同类型的句子结构和词汇来丰富你的文章。
示例1(改进):我同意学生A的观点,认为设立无车中心区域 有助于提高市民健康水平。例如,在无车区域内,人们可以更多地步行或骑自行车,从而增加锻炼机会。
示例2(改进):虽然学生B担心商业受到影响,但我认为政府可以通过提供便捷的公共交通和鼓励绿色出行方式来减轻这一问题。
4. 文章结构与组织
文章整体结构较清晰,但在某些部分缺乏明确的段落划分。建议将不同观点和论据放入不同段落,并使用恰当的过渡词来连接各个部分。此外,可以在文章开头简要介绍你的观点,以及在结尾部分进行总结。
示例1(改进):首段:在本次关于城市规划的讨论中,我认为设立无车中心区域是一个值得推广的措施。以下是我的一些论点和观察。
示例2(改进):尾段:总之,虽然设立无车中心区域可能会对商业产生一定影响,但其对环境和市民健康的积极作用不容忽视。政府应采取相应措施来平衡这些利弊。
5. 语法批改
Currently, with the advanceadvancement of the society, the government attaches great importance to adopting measures in order to improve the citizen'scitizens' life quality. I firmly believe that it is crucial for government to prevent cars intofrom entering the central zone and itzone. This will enablesenable the environment in the central zone cleaner and comfortable. When amountslarge numbers of cars enter the central zone, whichthey will contaminate the air quality by realizing the carbon dioxide and toxic atmosphere can also makegases, as well as making the environment become noisy. If the government willcan prevent this condition,this, it is undoubted that not only the individual's mood will be happyhappier and relaxingmore relaxed than ever before, but also will alleviate the environmentenvironmental pressure. Without the government's efforts to deal with this problem, the people's motivation in eliminating pollutionsto eliminate pollutants would be significantly more challenging.
Section Title: 6 Article Revision
In today's rapidly advancing society, governments are increasingly prioritizing measures to enhance citizens' quality of life. I strongly advocate for the implementation of car-free central zones, as this would significantly improve the environmental conditions within these areas, making them cleaner and more comfortable. The presence of numerous vehicles in city centers contributes to air pollution through the release of carbon dioxide and other harmful emissions, while also generating excessive noise. By restricting vehicular access to central zones, governments can effectively promote a more pleasant and relaxing atmosphere for individuals while simultaneously alleviating environmental pressures. Without such proactive efforts from authorities, motivating people to combat pollution would prove considerably more difficult. (115 words)
Currently, with In today's rapidly advancing society (rephrased for clarity and conciseness), governments are increasingly prioritizing measures to enhance citizens' quality of life (rephrased for clarity). I strongly advocate for the advance implementation of the society, the government attaches great importance to adopting measures in order to car-free central zones (rephrased for clarity and precision), as this would significantly improve the citizen's life quality. I firmly believe that it is crucial for government to prevent cars into the central zone and it will enables the environment in the central zone environmental conditions within these areas, making them cleaner and comfortable. When amounts more comfortable (rephrased for conciseness). The presence of cars enter numerous vehicles in city centers contributes to air pollution through the central zone, which will contaminate the air quality by realizing the release of carbon dioxide and toxic atmosphere other harmful emissions (rephrased for clarity), while also generating excessive noise (added for coherence). By restricting vehicular access to central zones, governments can also make the environment become noisy. If the government will prevent this condition, it is undoubted that not only the individual's mood will be happy effectively promote a more pleasant and relaxing than ever before, but also will alleviate the environment pressure. atmosphere for individuals while simultaneously alleviating environmental pressures (rephrased for clarity and conciseness). Without the government's such proactive efforts from authorities, motivating people to deal with this problem, the people's motivation in eliminating pollutions combat pollution would be significantly prove considerably more challenging.difficult (rephrased for clarity and emphasis).
Display title: 8 思维导图
1. Introduction
- Rapidly advancing society
- Government priorities
- Enhancing citizens' quality of life
2. Car-free central zones
- Environmental benefits
- Cleaner and more comfortable areas
3. Vehicle presence in city centers
- Air pollution
- Carbon dioxide emissions
- Noise pollution
4. Restricting vehicular access
- Promoting a pleasant atmosphere
- Alleviating environmental pressures
5. Role of authorities
- Proactive efforts needed
- Motivating people to combat pollution
6. Conclusion
- Importance of car-free central zones for improving quality of life and environment
Display title: 9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Prioritizing | /praɪˈɒrɪtaɪzɪŋ/ | Verb | Giving something more importance | 优先考虑 | Governments are increasingly prioritizing measures to enhance citizens' quality of life. |
| Implementation | /ɪmˌplɛmənˈteɪʃən/ | Noun | The process of putting a plan into action | 实施 | I advocate for the implementation of car-free central zones. |
| Environmental | /ɪnˌvaɪrənˈmɛntl/ | Adjective | Relating to the natural world | 环境的 | This would significantly improve the environmental conditions within these areas. |
| Emissions | /ɪˈmɪʃənz/ | Noun | The release of gas or radiation | 排放物 | The presence of vehicles contributes to air pollution through the release of harmful emissions. |
| Vehicular | /vəˈhɪkjʊlər/ | Adjective | Relating to vehicles | 机动车的 | By restricting vehicular access, governments can promote a more pleasant atmosphere. |
| Alleviating | /əˈliːvieɪtɪŋ/ | Verb | Making something less severe | 减轻 | Restricting vehicular access can alleviate environmental pressures. |
| Proactive | /proʊˈæktɪv/ | Adjective | Taking action before problems arise | 积极主动的 | Without proactive efforts from authorities, motivating people would be difficult. |
| Combat | /kəmˈbæt/ | Verb | /To fight against something | /抗击 | /Authorities should motivate people to combat pollution. |
| Pollution | /pəˈluːʃən/ | /Noun | /The presence of harmful substances in the environment | /污染 | /Car-free central zones can help reduce pollution in city centers. |
Section Title: 6 Article Revision
In today's rapidly advancing society, governments are increasingly prioritizing measures to enhance citizens' quality of life. I strongly advocate for the implementation of car-free central zones, as this would significantly improve the environmental conditions within these areas, making them cleaner and more comfortable. The presence of numerous vehicles in city centers contributes to air pollution through the release of carbon dioxide and other harmful emissions, while also generating excessive noise. By restricting vehicular access to central zones, governments can effectively promote a more pleasant and relaxing atmosphere for individuals while simultaneously alleviating environmental pressures. Without such proactive efforts from authorities, motivating people to combat pollution would prove considerably more difficult.
2考生範例 #2
From my perspective, I resonate with Claire's opinion that the health diet is a paramount issue for human health. More specifically, the well-diet cou...
分數25
考生範例 #2
From my perspective, I resonate with Claire's opinion that the health diet is a paramount issue for human health. More specifically, the well-diet cou...
考生範例
From my perspective, I resonate with Claire's opinion that the health diet is a paramount issue for human health. More specifically, the well-diet could keep people reducing the likelihood of being ill. It is because the nutrients from the meal could offer the valuable material that others do not have, such as protein and carbohydrates. In such cases, the enough energy that people absorb could enhance their immune system, which gives rise to the less accessibility to suffer the aliment, like flu. Provided that a person has three regular meals during the epidemic period, his robust body could assist him to sustain for a long time. Although the exercises could help the individual to keep a healthy body, the meal of a person is an indispensable part and has the highest priority.
評分結果
1. 子项得分
-
Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5
-
Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0
-
Language Use and Grammar: 4.0
2. 预估分数
- 25
3. 任务完成度
这篇文章在回答问题方面做得很好,表达了作者对健康饮食的看法。但是,为了更好地完成任务,建议您更详细地解释为什么饮食对健康如此重要,并提供一些具体的例子。此外,尝试参考阅读材料中的观点,并与之进 行比较和对比。
改进示例1:
- "Provided that a person has three regular meals during the epidemic period, his robust body could assist him to sustain for a long time." 改为 "A balanced diet rich in vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants can help boost the immune system, making it easier for the body to fight off infections and diseases."
改进示例2:
- 在文章中加入与Paul观点的对比,例如:"While Paul's point about preventive doctor visits is valid, maintaining a healthy diet can prevent many health issues from arising in the first place, reducing the need for medical intervention."
4. 文章结构与组织
文章的结构和组织方面表现良好,有明确的引言、主体和结论。然而,在主体部分可以尝试使用更清晰的段落划分来突出每个具体观点及其支持细节。同时,使用更明确的过渡词和短语来连接不同的观点和段落。
改进示例1:
- 在引言部分加入一个总结性句子,例如:"In this post, I will argue that a healthy diet is the most important factor in maintaining good health and provide reasons to support my opinion."
改进示例2:
- 在主体部分使用过渡词,例如:"Firstly, a well-balanced diet provides essential nutrients that help strengthen the immune system. Secondly, by preventing many health issues from arising, a healthy diet reduces the need for medical intervention."
5. 语法批改
From my perspective, I resonate with Claire's opinion that the health diet is a paramount issue for human health. More specifically, the well-diet could keep peoplepeople,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) reducing the likelihood of being ill. It is because the nutrients from the meal could offer the valuable material that others do not have, such as protein and carbohydrates. In such cases, the enough energy that people absorb could enhance their immune system, which gives rise to the less accessibility to suffer the aliment, like flu. Provided that a person has three regular meals during the epidemic period, his robust body could assist him to sustain for a long time. Although the exercises could help the individual to keep a healthy body, the meal of a person is an indispensable part and has the highest priority.
Section Title: 6 Article Revision
In my opinion, I concur with Claire's stance that a healthy diet is of utmost importance for maintaining good health. Specifically, a well-balanced diet can significantly decrease the likelihood of falling ill. This is because the nutrients derived from meals, such as proteins and carbohydrates, provide essential materials that contribute to overall well-being. Consequently, the energy absorbed from these nutrients can bolster the immune system, reducing susceptibility to ailments like the flu. For instance, during an epidemic period, having three regular meals can enable an individual to maintain a robust body and endure for an extended period. While exercise undoubtedly plays a role in promoting a healthy body, it is undeniable that one's diet remains an indispensable aspect with the highest priority in achieving optimal health. (131 words)
From In my perspective, opinion, I resonate concur (revised for a more natural tone) with Claire's opinion stance that the health a healthy diet (rephrased for clarity) is of utmost importance (rephrased for a paramount issue more natural tone) for human maintaining good health. More specifically, the well-diet could keep people reducing Specifically, a well-balanced diet (rephrased for clarity) can significantly decrease the likelihood of being falling ill. It This is because the nutrients derived from the meal could offer the valuable material that others do not have, meals, such as protein proteins and carbohydrates. In such cases, carbohydrates, provide essential materials that contribute to overall well-being (rephrased for clarity and flow). Consequently, the enough energy that people absorb could enhance their absorbed from these nutrients can bolster the immune system, which gives rise reducing susceptibility to ailments like the less accessibility to suffer the aliment, like flu. Provided that a person has flu (rephrased for flow). For instance, during an epidemic period, having three regular meals during the epidemic period, his can enable an individual to maintain a robust body could assist him to sustain and endure for an extended period (rephrased for clarity and flow). While exercise undoubtedly plays a long time. Although the exercises could help the individual to keep role in promoting a healthy body, the meal of a person it is undeniable that one's diet remains an indispensable part and has aspect with the highest priority.priority in achieving optimal health (rephrased for clarity and flow).
8 思维导图
- Healthy Diet
- Importance
- Maintaining good health
- Decreasing likelihood of falling ill
- Nutrients
- Proteins
- Carbohydrates
- Benefits
- Bolster immune system
- Reduce susceptibility to ailments (e.g., flu)
- Example
- Three regular meals during an epidemic period
- Exercise
- Role in promoting a healthy body
- Conclusion
- Diet is an indispensable aspect with the highest priority in achieving optimal health.
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| concur | /kənˈkɜr/ | verb | agree | 同意 | I concur with Claire's stance on the importance of a healthy diet. |
| well-balanced | /ˌwelˈbælənst/ | adjective | having different parts in harmony | 均衡的 | A well-balanced diet can significantly decrease the likelihood of falling ill. |
| nutrients | /ˈnu.tri.ənt/ | noun | substances that provide nourishment | 营养素 | Nutrients derived from meals contribute to overall well-being. |
| bolster | /ˈboʊl.stɚ/ | verb | /to support or improve something | /加强,支持 | /The energy absorbed from nutrients can bolster the immune system. |
| susceptibility | /səˌsep.təˈbɪl.ə.t̬i/ | noun | /the state of being likely to be influenced or harmed by something | /易受影响,易受损害 | /Reducing susceptibility to ailments like the flu is essential for maintaining good health. |
| epidemic | /ˌepɪˈdemɪk/ | noun | a widespread occurrence of a disease | 流行病 | During an epidemic period, having three regular meals can enable an individual to maintain a robust body. |
| indispensable | /ˌɪn.dɪˈspen.sə.bəl/ | adjective | /absolutely necessary | /不可或缺的 | /One's diet remains an indispensable aspect with the highest priority in achieving optimal health. |
| priority | /praɪˈɔr.ə.t̬i/ | noun | something that is very important and must be dealt with before other things | /优先事项 | /Maintaining a healthy diet should be the highest priority for everyone who wants to stay healthy. |
| optimal | /ˈɑp.tə.məl/ | adjective | best or most favorable | 最佳的 | Achieving optimal health requires a combination of a well-balanced diet and regular exercise. |
3考生範例 #3
While I understand Andrew's perspective, I concur with Claire that buidling bike lanes is benefitial. Instead of causing more traffic jams which menti...
分數27
考生範例 #3
While I understand Andrew's perspective, I concur with Claire that buidling bike lanes is benefitial. Instead of causing more traffic jams which menti...
考生範例
While I understand Andrew's perspective, I concur with Claire that buidling bike lanes is benefitial. Instead of causing more traffic jams which mentioned by Andrew, it is more likely to reduce the congestion in cities. To be more specific, by seperating the bikes and automobiles into two diffierent lanes, the cars can definitely move faster since there are less bikes with lower speed on the same road to stuck them. Furthermore, the increase of bike lanes encourage more people who would want to ride bikes but have no place to travel with green and cleaning appoarch more often, improving the air quality of the city. If the number of bike lanes is not sufficient in cities, people may be worried about possibilities of car accidents due to the mess organization of transportation. Thus the availability of more bike lanes undoubtly encourage those people to worry less and are more willing to ride bikes.
評分結果
1. 子项得分
-
Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5
-
Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0
-
Language Use and Grammar: 4.0
2. 预估分数
- 27
3. 任务完成度
这篇文章基本上完成了任务要求,表达了对问题的看法并给出了合理的论据。但是,可以在以下方面进行改进:首先,在支持观点时可以提供更具体的例子和数据;其次,可以更深入地讨论骑自行车对环境和城市交通的 影响。最后,在语言使用方面,可以尝试使用更丰富的词汇和表达。
改进示例1: Instead of saying "improving the air quality of the city," you can provide more specific details, such as "reducing carbon emissions by up to 40%."
改进示例2: You can discuss the health benefits of cycling, such as "promoting physical fitness and reducing the risk of obesity and heart diseases."
4. 文章结构与组织
文章结构清晰,包括引言、主体和结论。每段都集中讨论一个特定观点并提供支持细节。然而,在以下方面仍有改进空间:首先,可以在引言部分明确提出自己的观点;其次,在段落之间加入过渡性词语以使文章更连贯。
改进示例1: In the introduction, you can directly state your opinion, such as "In my opinion, city planners should create more dedicated lanes for bicycle riders."
改进示例2: Add transition words between paragraphs, such as "Moreover" or "On the other hand," to make the essay more coherent.
5. 语法批改
While I understand Andrew's perspective, I concur with Claire that buidlingbuilding(misspelling) bike lanes is benefitialbeneficial(misspelling). Instead of causing more traffic jamsjams,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which mentioned by Andrew, it is more likely to reduce the congestion in cities. To be more specific, by seperatingseparating(misspelling) the bikes and automobiles into two diffierentdifferent(misspelling) lanes, the cars can definitely move faster since there are lessfewer(fewer with countable nouns (less)) bikes with lower speed on the same road to stuck them.
Furthermore, the increase of bike lanes encourage more people who would want to ride bikes but have no place to travel with green and cleaning appoarchapproach(misspelling) more often, improving the air quality of the city. If the number of bike lanes is not sufficient in cities, people may be worried about possibilities of car accidents due to the mess organization of transportation. ThusThus,(Commas after conjunctive/linking adverbs in front of a new sentence.) the availability of more bike lanes undoubtlyundoubtedly(misspelling) encourage those people to worry less and are more willing to ride bikes.
Title: 6 文章修订
In light of Andrew's concerns, I find myself agreeing with Claire that constructing additional bike lanes would be advantageous. Contrary to exacerbating traffic congestion as Andrew suggests, increasing bike lanes is more likely to alleviate it. Specifically, by segregating bicycles and automobiles into separate lanes, cars can undoubtedly move more swiftly as they are no longer impeded by slower-moving bicycles sharing the same road.
Moreover, an expansion of bike lanes would incentivize individuals who wish to adopt a more eco-friendly mode of transportation but are deterred by the lack of safe cycling infrastructure. Improved air quality would be an added benefit as more people opt for cycling over driving. Insufficient bike lanes in urban areas may lead to apprehension regarding potential accidents due to disorganized transportation systems. Consequently, the presence of well-designed bike lanes would assuage these concerns and encourage a greater number of people to embrace cycling as a viable means of commuting. (157 words)
While In light of Andrew's concerns (clarifying the context), I understand Andrew's perspective, I concur find myself agreeing with Claire that buidling constructing additional bike lanes would be advantageous (rephrasing for clarity). Contrary to exacerbating traffic congestion as Andrew suggests (clarifying the opposing view), increasing bike lanes is benefitial. Instead of causing more traffic jams which mentioned more likely to alleviate it (rephrasing for clarity). Specifically, by Andrew, it is more likely to reduce the congestion in cities. To be more specific, by seperating the bikes segregating bicycles and automobiles into two diffierent lanes, the separate lanes (correcting spelling and rephrasing for clarity), cars can definitely undoubtedly move faster since there more swiftly as they are less bikes with lower speed on no longer impeded by slower-moving bicycles sharing the same road to stuck them. (rephrasing for clarity and flow).
Furthermore, the increase of bike lanes encourage more people Moreover, an expansion of bike lanes would incentivize individuals who would want to ride bikes wish to adopt a more eco-friendly mode of transportation but have no place to travel with green and cleaning appoarch more often, improving the are deterred by the lack of safe cycling infrastructure (rephrasing for clarity and flow). Improved air quality of the city. If the number of bike lanes is not sufficient would be an added benefit as more people opt for cycling over driving (rephrasing for clarity). Insufficient bike lanes in cities, people urban areas may be worried about possibilities of car lead to apprehension regarding potential accidents due to the mess organization of transportation. Thus the availability of more bike lanes undoubtly disorganized transportation systems (rephrasing for clarity and flow). Consequently, the presence of well-designed bike lanes would assuage these concerns and encourage those a greater number of people to worry less and are more willing to ride bikes.embrace cycling as a viable means of commuting (rephrasing for clarity and flow).
Title: 8 思维导图
1. Introduction
- Agree with Claire
- Bike lanes advantageous
2. Traffic Congestion
- Alleviate congestion
- Segregate bicycles and automobiles
3. Incentivize Eco-friendly Transportation
- Encourage cycling
- Improve air quality
4. Safety Concerns
- Insufficient bike lanes cause apprehension
- Well-designed bike lanes assuage concerns
5. Encourage Commuting by Cycling
- Viable means of commuting
Title: 9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| advantageous | /ˌæd.vənˈteɪ.dʒəs/ | adjective | providing an advantage; favorable | 有利的 | Constructing additional bike lanes would be advantageous. |
| exacerbate | /ɪɡˈzæs.ər.beɪt/ | verb | to make something worse | 加剧 | Contrary to exacerbating traffic congestion, bike lanes alleviate it. |
| segregate | /ˈseɡ.rɪ.ɡeɪt/ | verb | to separate one group from another | 隔离 | - By segregating bicycles and automobiles, cars can move more swiftly. |
| incentivize | /ɪnˈsen.tə.vaɪz/ | verb | - To provide an incentive for (an action) | - 激励 | - Expansion of bike lanes would incentivize eco-friendly transportation. |
| apprehension | /ˌæp.rɪˈhen.ʃən/ | noun | - Anxiety about the future; fear | - 忧虑 | - Insufficient bike lanes may lead to apprehension regarding accidents. |
| assuage | /əˈsweɪdʒ/ | verb | - To make an unpleasant feeling less intense | - 减轻 | - Well-designed bike lanes would assuage safety concerns. |
| viable | /ˈvaɪ.ə.bəl/ | adjective | - Capable of working successfully | - 可行的 | - Encourage cycling as a viable means of commuting. |
| eco-friendly | /ˌi.koʊˈfrend.li/ | adjective | - Not harmful to the environment | - 环保的 | - Adopt a more eco-friendly mode of transportation. |
| infrastructure | /ˈɪn.frə.strʌk.tʃɚ/ | noun | Basic systems and services needed for operation | - 基础设施 | - Deterred by the lack of safe cycling infrastructure. |
4考生範例 #4
In my opinion, I wholeheartedly concur with Kelly's claim that as consumers, we can benifit a lot from online shopping, even though some physical stor...
分數27
考生範例 #4
In my opinion, I wholeheartedly concur with Kelly's claim that as consumers, we can benifit a lot from online shopping, even though some physical stor...
考生範例
In my opinion, I wholeheartedly concur with Kelly's claim that as consumers, we can benifit a lot from online shopping, even though some physical stores are forced to close due to the fierce competition among them and online stores. In addition, I also would like to emphasize that online shopping could save time greatly, since all you have to do is just clicking your phone and the purchase could be done in minutes. This enable people to enjoy other more meaningful things such as hanging out with friends and communicating with parents. However, Kelly points out that closedown of local stores lead to the sharp decrease of job opportunities. Nevertheless, online shopping could create more job chances like influencers to make up the shortage. Hence, I firmly believe that the advantages of online shopping outweighs its drawbacks.
評分結果
1. 子项得分
-
Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5
-
Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0
-
Language Use and Grammar: 4.0
2. 预估分数
- 27
3. 任务完成度
整体来说,你的文章回答了教授的问题,并对在线购物的影响提出了自己的观点。但是,你可以进一步改进文章,例如在论述观点时提供更多具体细节和例子。此外,尝试使用更丰富多样的词汇和句式结构,以使文章更 具说服力。
改进示例1: Instead of "This enable people to enjoy other more meaningful things such as hanging out with friends and communicating with parents.", you can write "This allows individuals to allocate their time more efficiently, focusing on activities that promote personal growth or strengthen relationships, such as engaging in hobbies or spending quality time with family."
改进示例2: Instead of "online shopping could create more job chances like influencers", you can write "the growth of online shopping has led to the creation of new job opportunities in areas such as digital marketing, e-commerce management, and content creation for social media influencers."
4. 文章结构与组织
从组织结构方面来看,你的文章有明确的引言、主体和结论。然而,在段落内部,可以通过使用主题句和更清晰的过渡词来增强逻辑性。同时,请确保每个段落都集中讨论一个特定的观点,并提供相应的支持细节。
改进示例1: 在主体段落的开头使用主题句,例如:“虽然在线购物对本地商店产生了负面影响,但消费者从中获得了诸多好处。”
改进示例2: 使用过渡词来连接不同观点,例如:“尽管如此,在线购物也为其他领域创造了新的就业机会,从而弥补了这一不足。”
5. 语法批改
In my opinion, I wholeheartedly concur with Kelly's claim that as consumers, we can benifitbenefit(misspelling) a lot from online shopping, even though some physical stores are forced to close due to the fierce competition among them and online stores. In addition, I also would like to emphasize that online shopping could save time greatly, since all you have to do is just clicking your phone and the purchase could be done in minutes. This enableenables(Plural verb after 'this' or 'that') people to enjoy other more meaningful things such as hanging out with friends and communicating with parents. However, Kelly points out that closedownclose down(misspelling) of local stores lead to the sharp decrease of job opportunities. Nevertheless, online shopping could create more job chances like influencers to make up the shortage. Hence, I firmly believe that the advantages of online shopping outweighs its drawbacks.
Section Title: 6 Article Revision
In my opinion, I wholeheartedly concur with the notion that online shopping offers numerous benefits to consumers, despite the unfortunate closure of some brick-and-mortar stores due to intense competition. Furthermore, I would like to emphasize the significant time-saving aspect of online shopping, as transactions can be completed within minutes through a few clicks on a smartphone. This convenience allows individuals to allocate their time to more meaningful pursuits, such as socializing with friends and family. While it is true that the closure of local stores may result in fewer job opportunities within communities, the rise of online shopping has also generated new employment prospects, such as influencer marketing roles. Therefore, I firmly believe that the advantages of online shopping outweigh its drawbacks. (127 words)
In my opinion, I wholeheartedly concur with Kelly's claim the notion (revised for a more natural tone) that as online shopping offers numerous benefits (changed "benifit" to "benefits" for correct spelling) to consumers, we can benifit a lot from online shopping, even though despite the unfortunate closure of some physical brick-and-mortar stores are forced to close (rephrased for clarity and natural tone) due to the fierce competition among them and online stores. In addition, intense competition. Furthermore, I also would like to emphasize that the significant time-saving aspect of online shopping could save shopping, as transactions can be completed within minutes through a few clicks on a smartphone (rephrased for clarity and natural tone). This convenience allows individuals to allocate their time greatly, since all you have to do is just clicking your phone and the purchase could be done in minutes. This enable people to enjoy other more meaningful things pursuits, such as hanging out socializing with friends and communicating with parents. However, Kelly points out family (rephrased for a more natural tone). While it is true that closedown the closure of local stores lead to may result in fewer job opportunities within communities, the sharp decrease rise of job opportunities. Nevertheless, online shopping could create more job chances like influencers to make up the shortage. Hence, has also generated new employment prospects, such as influencer marketing roles (rephrased for clarity and natural tone). Therefore, I firmly believe that the advantages of online shopping outweighs outweigh its drawbacks.
8 思维导图
- Online Shopping
- Benefits
- Time-saving
- Transactions completed quickly
- More time for meaningful pursuits
- Convenience
- Accessible through smartphones
- Drawbacks
- Closure of brick-and-mortar stores
- Fewer job opportunities in communities
- New Employment Prospects
- Influencer marketing roles
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| wholeheartedly | /ˌhoʊlˈhɑr.t̬əd.li/ | adverb | with complete sincerity and commitment | 全心全意地 | I wholeheartedly concur with the notion that online shopping offers numerous benefits. |
| transaction | /trænˈzæk.ʃən/ | noun | a business deal or action | 交易 | Transactions can be completed within minutes through a few clicks on a smartphone. |
| allocate | /ˈæl.ə.keɪt/ | verb | to give something to someone as their share of a total amount, space, or time | 分配 | This convenience allows individuals to allocate their time to more meaningful pursuits. |
| pursuit | /pərˈsuːt/ | /noun/ | /an activity that you spend time doing, usually when you are not working/ | /追求,消遣活动/ | /She decided to turn her favorite pursuit into her life's work./ |
| intense | /ɪnˈtens/ | /adjective/ | /extreme and forceful or (of a feeling) very strong/ | /强烈的,紧张的/ | /She suddenly felt an intense pain in her back./ |
| competition | /ˌkɒm.pəˈtɪʃ.ən/ | /noun/ | /a situation in which someone is trying to win something or be more successful than someone else/ | 竞争 | Brick-and-mortar stores closed due to intense competition. |
| prospect | /ˈprɒs.pekt/ | /noun/ | /the possibility that something good might happen in the future | 前景,可能性 | The rise of online shopping has generated new employment prospects. |
| influencer | /ˈɪn.flu.ən.sər/ | /noun/ | /someone who affects or changes the way that other people behave, especially by using social media to promote products and services / | 网红,影响者 | Influencer marketing roles have become popular due to online shopping. |
| outweigh | /ˌaʊtˈweɪ/ | /verb/ | /to be greater or more important than something else | 超过,胜过 | I firmly believe that the advantages of online shopping outweigh its drawbacks. |
| drawback | /ˈdrɔː.bæk/ | /noun/ | /a disadvantage or the negative part of a situation | 缺点,不利条件 | While there are drawbacks, the benefits of online shopping are greater. |
學術討論如何評分
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切題度與貢獻度
回答是否切合題目,並對討論做出有意義的貢獻?
語言運用
文法準確度、詞彙廣度,以及句子結構的品質。
論述發展與支持
論點是否透過具體例子和清楚的推理獲得充分發展?
回答中的常見模式
根據對本題考生投稿的分析,以下是考生回答中常見的模式。
許多考生提出了明確的觀點,卻缺乏具體的佐證例子。
高分回答通常會直接引用閱讀文章內容,並回應其他發言者的觀點。
得分較高的回答會運用多樣的句型結構與學術詞彙。
時間管理是關鍵因素——顯得倉促完成的回答,在論述發展方面通常得分較低。
學習訣竅
動筆前仔細閱讀題目,確認問題的每個部分都已理解。
在回答中引用閱讀文章內容,並回應其他考生的觀點。
用具體例子支持你的主要論點——避免空泛籠統的說法。
字數以 120-150 字為目標。篇幅較長不代表較好,清晰與聚焦更為重要。
練習限時作答(10 分鐘),培養在考試情境下的流暢度。
常見問題
什麼是TOEFL學術討論任務?
學術討論任務如何評分?
此頁面上的用戶範例是什麼?
AI評估的準確度如何?
我要如何練習這道學術討論題目?
我的學術討論回答應該多長?
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