TOEFL TPO 74 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize, the points made in the lecture being sure to explain how they Challenge the specific arguments presented in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：4 连贯与衔接：4 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

总体来说，文章基本完成了任务要求，对阅读和听力材料中的观点进行了概括和对比。但是，文章在反驳阅读材料的论点时，有些地方表述不够准确。建议在概括听力材料时更加详细地描述教授的观点，并尝试使用更多具体例子来支持论述。

示例1： 原文：“To be specific, the writing could be marked accidentally by farming there.” 修改后：“Specifically, the professor argues that those marks are likely accidental scratches made by farming equipment, rather than ancient European writing.”

示例2： 原文：“He says that smaller jewlry were also quarried as well as stones.” 修改后：“The professor points out that archaeologists found smaller stone objects, such as Native American jewelry, which had the same type of tool marks as the large stones, suggesting that they were created by the same group of people.”

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面基本合理，包括引言、正文和结论。每段都集中讨论一个特定的观点，并提供了支持细节。然而，在段落之间的过渡方面还有待改进。建议使用一些过渡词或短语来使文章更加连贯。

示例1： 原文：“Firstly, the reading maintains that the arrangement of stones is similar to that of some structures in Europe...” 修改后：“Firstly, the reading maintains that the arrangement of stones is similar to that of some structures in Europe; however, the professor challenges this idea by stating...”

示例2： 原文：“Secondly, the reading indicates that a large flat stone appears to have an European writing carved into it...” 修改后：“On the other hand, the reading indicates that a large flat stone appears to have an European writing carved into it, but the professor refutes this claim by explaining...”

5. 语法批改

The reading material presents thressthrees(misspelling) features of Mystery Hill to support the belief that Europeans were present in inin(Word repetition (e.g. 'will will')) North America earlier than previously thought. However, the professor in the lecture claims that what the reading states is not convincing and disputes the opinions one by one. Firstly, the reading maintains that the arrangement of stones is similar to that of some structures in Europe, due to the example that the stones at Mystery Hill and Stonehenge both align with astonomicalastronomical(misspelling) events. The speaker, however, constractscontracts(misspelling) the opinion by demonstrating that the present positions of stones can not be the original ones. According to the speaker, the owner of the stones could move the stones in the same way as England's so as toto(so as to (to)) attract more tourists. Secondly, the reading indicates that a large flat stone appears to have ana(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') European writing carved into it. To be specific, the writing was used by Irish 1500 years ago. Nevertheless, the speaker refutes the idea. To be specific, the writing could be marked accidentally by farming there. Finally, the reading holds the view that the way stones were quarried and, and(comma between independent clauses) the methods used to reshape them are similar to those in Europe in the distant past. The speaker disagrees with the idea. He says that smaller jewlryjewelry(misspelling) were also quarried as well as stones.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading passage presents three features of Mystery Hill, suggesting that Europeans were present in North America earlier than previously thought. However, the lecture challenges these claims and provides counterarguments for each point.

Firstly, the reading asserts that the arrangement of stones at Mystery Hill is similar to some European structures, such as Stonehenge, as both align with astronomical events. In contrast, the lecturer contends that the current positions of the stones may not be their original locations. The speaker explains that the site's owner in the 1930s could have moved the stones to resemble England's Stonehenge in order to attract more tourists.

Secondly, the reading claims that a large flat stone at Mystery Hill appears to have an early type of European writing carved into it, specifically a writing system used by Irish people 1,500 years ago. However, the lecturer refutes this idea by stating that these markings could have been made accidentally by farming equipment used in the area.

Lastly, the reading argues that the quarrying and reshaping methods used on stones at Mystery Hill are similar to those practiced in Europe in distant past. The lecturer disagrees with this notion and points out that smaller jewelry items were also found at Mystery Hill alongside larger stones. These smaller objects had similar tool marks as the large stones, suggesting that both were created using the same hammering tools. This evidence strongly indicates that Native Americans were responsible for crafting both small objects and large stones at Mystery Hill. (253 words)

The reading material passage presents thress three features of Mystery Hill to support the belief Hill, suggesting that Europeans were present in in North America earlier than previously thought. However, the professor in the lecture challenges these claims that what the reading states is not convincing and disputes the opinions one by one. and provides counterarguments for each point (Changed "thress" to "three" and rephrased the sentence for clarity).

Firstly, the reading maintains asserts that the arrangement of stones at Mystery Hill is similar to that of some structures in Europe, due to the example that the stones at Mystery Hill and Stonehenge European structures, such as Stonehenge, as both align with astonomical astronomical events. The speaker, however, constracts the opinion by demonstrating that the present In contrast, the lecturer contends that the current positions of stones can the stones may not be the their original ones. According to the speaker, the locations (Rephrased for clarity). The speaker explains that the site's owner of the stones in the 1930s could move the stones in the same way as have moved the stones to resemble England's so as Stonehenge in order to attract more tourists. tourists (Clarified who moved the stones and when).

Secondly, the reading indicates claims that a large flat stone at Mystery Hill appears to have an early type of European writing carved into it. To be specific, the it, specifically a writing was system used by Irish 1500 people 1,500 years ago. Nevertheless, the speaker However, the lecturer refutes the idea. To be specific, the writing this idea by stating that these markings could be marked have been made accidentally by farming there. equipment used in the area (Rephrased for clarity and corrected "farming there" to "farming equipment used in the area").

Finally, Lastly, the reading holds the view that the way stones were quarried and the argues that the quarrying and reshaping methods used to reshape them on stones at Mystery Hill are similar to those practiced in Europe in the distant past. The speaker lecturer disagrees with the idea. He says this notion and points out that smaller jewlry jewelry items were also quarried found at Mystery Hill alongside larger stones (Corrected "jewlry" to "jewelry"). These smaller objects had similar tool marks as well as stones.the large stones, suggesting that both were created using the same hammering tools. This evidence strongly indicates that Native Americans were responsible for crafting both small objects and large stones at Mystery Hill (Added explanation about tool marks and connected it to Native Americans).

8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Reading passage: Europeans in North America earlier than thought
  - Lecture: Challenges these claims

- Point 1: Stone arrangement
  - Reading: Similar to European structures (e.g., Stonehenge)
  - Lecture: Stones may have been moved by site owner in the 1930s for tourism purposes

- Point 2: Carvings on flat stone
  - Reading: Early European writing (Irish, 1,500 years ago)
  - Lecture: Markings could be accidental from farming equipment

- Point 3: Quarrying and reshaping methods
  - Reading: Similar to European methods in distant past
  - Lecture: Small jewelry items found with similar tool marks, suggesting Native American origin

- Conclusion

9. Keywords

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯性和衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

总体来说，你的文章在任务完成度方面表现不错，但仍有改进的空间。首先，在总结听力部分时，需要更详细地解释讲座中提到的观点以及它们是如何挑战阅读材料中的论点的。此外，在引用听力内容时，尽量使用更准确的词汇和表达。

示例1： 原文：Moreover, the author puts forward that there is a large flat stone which appears to have an early type of European writing carved into it at Mystery Hill. By the contrary, the lecturer retorts that those marks were not carved by European. 改进：Moreover, the author points out that a large flat stone at Mystery Hill has an early type of European writing carved into it. In contrast, the lecturer argues that these marks are not ancient European writing but rather accidental scratches made by farming equipment.

示例2： 原文：Finally, the author has a belief that the method of how the lare stones were quarrified and reshaped are not associated with ancient Native Americans. 改进：Finally, the author believes that the methods used to quarry and reshape the large stones at Mystery Hill are not associated with ancient Native Americans but rather with Europeans.

4.文章结构与组织 在文章结构和组织方面，你需要注意以下几点：首先，确保每段都有明确的主题句和支持细节。其次，使用恰当的过渡词和短语来连接不同的观点和段落。最后，确保文章有一个清晰的结论。

示例1： 原文：To begin with, the auhtor claims that the way how the stones at Mystery Hill are arranged is similar to some structures in Europe. 改进：To begin with, the author claims that the arrangement of stones at Mystery Hill is similar to some well-known stone structures in Europe.

示例2： 原文：On the other side, the lecturer refutes that the new research found by archeologists has made a strong evidence that there is no doubt that those large stones at Mystery Hil are clearly made by Native American. 改进：On the other hand, the lecturer counters this argument by presenting new research findings from archaeologists, which provide strong evidence that those large stones at Mystery Hill were indeed created by Native Americans.

5. 语法批改

The author in the reading believes that the stones of Mystery Hill are associated with European, while the lecturer in the listening presents an opposite opinion. To begin with, the auhtorauthor(misspelling) claims that the way how the stones at Mystery Hill are arranged is similar to some structures in Europe. However, the lecturer rebuts that the position where the stones at Mystery Hill are arranged is not original. The stones had already been moved away, which is used to attract more tourists to get more financial profits. Moreover, the author puts forward that there is a large flat stone which appears to have an early type of European writing carved into it at Mystery Hill. By the contrary, the lecturer retorts that those marks were not carved by European. More likely, they were left by the farmers for a long time. Finally, the author has a belief that the method of how the larelair(misspelling) stones were quarrifiedqualified(misspelling) and reshaped are not associated with ancient Native Americans. On the other side, the lecturer refutes that the new research found by archeologists has made a strong evidence that there is no doubt that those large stones at Mystery HilHis(misspelling) are clearly made by Native American.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The author in the reading asserts that the stones of Mystery Hill have European origins, while the lecturer in the listening presents a contrasting viewpoint.

Firstly, the author claims that the arrangement of stones at Mystery Hill is similar to some structures in Europe. However, the lecturer counters this by stating that the current positions of these stones are not original. They were likely moved to attract more tourists and generate financial profit.

Furthermore, the author mentions a large flat stone at Mystery Hill with what appears to be an early type of European writing carved into it. In contrast, the lecturer argues that these marks were not created by Europeans but were likely left by farmers over time.

Lastly, the author believes that the methods used to quarry and reshape large stones at Mystery Hill are not associated with ancient Native Americans. On the other hand, the lecturer refutes this claim by citing new research from archaeologists that provides strong evidence supporting Native American origins for these large stones at Mystery Hill. (176 words)

The author in the reading believes that the stones of Mystery Hill are associated with European, asserts that the stones of Mystery Hill have European origins, while the lecturer in the listening presents an opposite opinion. a contrasting viewpoint (Changed "opposite opinion" to "contrasting viewpoint" for better word choice).

To begin with, the auhtor Firstly, the author claims that the way how the stones at Mystery Hill are arranged arrangement of stones at Mystery Hill is similar to some structures in Europe. However, the lecturer rebuts that the position where the stones at Mystery Hill counters this by stating that the current positions of these stones are arranged is not original. The stones had already been original (Rephrased for clarity). They were likely moved away, which is used to attract more tourists to get more and generate financial profits. profit (Revised for better sentence structure).

Moreover, the author puts forward that there is Furthermore, the author mentions a large flat stone which at Mystery Hill with what appears to have be an early type of European writing carved into it at Mystery Hill. By the contrary, the lecturer retorts that those it. In contrast, the lecturer argues that these marks were not carved by European. More likely, they created by Europeans but were likely left by the farmers for a long time. over time (Changed "By the contrary" to "In contrast" for better transition).

Finally, the author has a belief that the method of how the lare stones were quarrified Lastly, the author believes that the methods used to quarry and reshaped reshape large stones at Mystery Hill are not associated with ancient Native Americans. On the other side, hand, the lecturer refutes that the this claim by citing new research found by archeologists has made a from archaeologists that provides strong evidence that there is no doubt that those supporting Native American origins for these large stones at Mystery Hil are clearly made by Native American.Hill (Improved sentence structure and clarity).

8. Mind Map

9. Keywords

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Section Title: 6. Article Revision

The author in the reading asserts that the stones of Mystery Hill have European origins, while the lecturer in the listening presents a contrasting viewpoint.

Firstly, the author claims that the arrangement of stones at Mystery Hill is similar to some structures in Europe. However, the lecturer counters this by stating that the current positions of these stones are not original. They were likely moved to attract more tourists and generate financial profit.

Furthermore, the author mentions a large flat stone at Mystery Hill with what appears to be an early type of European writing carved into it. In contrast, the lecturer argues that these marks were not created by Europeans but were likely left by farmers over time.

Lastly, the author believes that the methods used to quarry and reshape large stones at Mystery Hill are not associated with ancient Native Americans. On the other hand, the lecturer refutes this claim by citing new research from archaeologists that provides strong evidence supporting Native American origins for these large stones at Mystery Hill.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 3

• Organization: 3

• Coherence and Cohesion: 3

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 20

3.Task completeness The essay addresses the main points of the lecture and reading passage, but it could be improved by providing more specific details and examples from both sources. Additionally, the essay should focus on how the lecture challenges the arguments presented in the reading passage.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Include more specific details from both the lecture and reading passage.

• Clearly explain how each point made in the lecture challenges the arguments presented in the reading passage.

Examples:

1. Instead of saying "the alignment is formed not longer ago," provide a clearer explanation such as "the lecturer argues that the current alignment of stones at Mystery Hill may not be original, as historians suspect that a private owner moved many of them in an attempt to attract tourists."

2. Instead of saying "the lines actually was caved by accidentally," write "the lecturer contends that these marks are likely accidental scratches made by farming equipment rather than ancient European writing."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, it could be improved by better organizing each paragraph to focus on a specific point from the lecture and how it challenges an argument from the reading passage. Clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs should also be present.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Focus each paragraph on a specific point from the lecture and explain how it challenges an argument from the reading passage.

• Use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve coherence.

Examples:

1. Begin each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence that states which argument from the reading passage is being challenged by a point made in the lecture.

2. Use transition words or phrases such as "however," "on the other hand," or "in contrast" to show the relationship between the arguments in the reading passage and the points made in the lecture.

5. Grammar

The reading and the lecture are both about the similarities between the Mystery Hill and European monuments. While the author of the article argues that the builders of Mystery Hill were inspired by European monuments, the lecturer disputes the claims mentioned in the article. Her position is that the similarities isare(Detects potentially wrong usage of "is") just coincidentally occurred.

First of allFirst(first of all (first)), according to the reading, the author useuses(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb) the similarities between the two's arrangement to support the idea. The article mentions that the alignment between the large stones and the astronomical events is in precisely the same way. This argument is challenged by the lecturer. She claims that the alignment is formed not longerno longer(not longer -> no longer) ago. Additionally, she points out that the stones are moved by the owner rather than the builder to attract more tourists.

Secondly, the author suggests the writing system is linked to very old Europe. The article notes that therethere are(Detects missing verb in "there is/are") caved straight lines on the stones shared with Irish people in Europe. The lecturer, however, asserts that the lines actually waswere(Detects potentially wrong usage of "was") caved by accidentally. She goes on to say that the remains isare(Detects potentially wrong usage of "is") left by farming process.

Finally, the author puts forth the idea that the quarried large stones, altered by hammering and burning, are similar to the activities in Europe. The author contends that there were no such method associated with ancient Native Americans. In contrast, the lecturer's stance is the quarrying is clearly made by Native American. She says that the jury of same type of marks have appeared early through other evidences.

Section Title: 6. Revised Essay

The reading and the lecture both discuss the similarities between Mystery Hill and European monuments. While the author of the article argues that the builders of Mystery Hill were inspired by European monuments, the lecturer disputes these claims, asserting that any similarities are merely coincidental.

Firstly, the author cites the arrangement of stones at Mystery Hill as evidence for a connection to European monuments, specifically mentioning their alignment with astronomical events in a manner similar to Stonehenge. However, the lecturer challenges this argument by stating that these alignments were not present in their original positions. She further explains that many stones were likely moved by a private owner in the 1930s to make Mystery Hill resemble Stonehenge and attract more tourists.

Secondly, the author suggests that an early type of European writing found on a large flat stone at Mystery Hill indicates a link to ancient Europe. The article notes that this writing system, consisting of straight lines, was used by Irish people around 1,500 years ago. Contrarily, the lecturer asserts that these lines were most likely created accidentally by farming equipment rather than being intentional carvings from ancient Europeans.

Lastly, the author posits that quarrying methods used at Mystery Hill are similar to those practiced in Europe long ago and not generally associated with ancient Native Americans. In contrast, the lecturer contends that there is clear evidence suggesting Native Americans were responsible for quarrying at Mystery Hill. She explains that smaller stone objects such as jewelry found at the site bear similar tool marks as those on larger stones, indicating that both were crafted using identical hammering techniques employed by Native Americans. (278 words)

The reading and the lecture are both about discuss the similarities between the Mystery Hill and European monuments. While the author of the article argues that the builders of Mystery Hill were inspired by European monuments, the lecturer disputes the claims mentioned in the article. Her position is that the these claims, asserting that any similarities is just coincidentally occurred. are merely coincidental (revised for clarity).

First of all, according to the reading, Firstly, the author use the similarities between the two's cites the arrangement to support the idea. The article mentions that the of stones at Mystery Hill as evidence for a connection to European monuments, specifically mentioning their alignment between the large stones and the with astronomical events is in precisely the same way. This a manner similar to Stonehenge. However, the lecturer challenges this argument is challenged by the lecturer. by stating that these alignments were not present in their original positions (clarified meaning). She claims that the alignment is formed not longer ago. Additionally, she points out that the further explains that many stones are were likely moved by the a private owner rather than the builder to in the 1930s to make Mystery Hill resemble Stonehenge and attract more tourists. tourists (added specific details).

Secondly, the author suggests the that an early type of European writing system is linked to very old found on a large flat stone at Mystery Hill indicates a link to ancient Europe. The article notes that there caved this writing system, consisting of straight lines on the stones shared with lines, was used by Irish people in Europe. The lecturer, however, around 1,500 years ago. Contrarily, the lecturer asserts that the these lines actually was caved by accidentally. She goes on to say that the remains is left were most likely created accidentally by farming process. equipment rather than being intentional carvings from ancient Europeans (corrected "caved" to "created" and clarified meaning).

Finally, Lastly, the author puts forth the idea that the quarried large stones, altered by hammering and burning, posits that quarrying methods used at Mystery Hill are similar to the activities those practiced in Europe. The author contends that there were no such method Europe long ago and not generally associated with ancient Native Americans. In contrast, the lecturer's stance lecturer contends that there is the clear evidence suggesting Native Americans were responsible for quarrying is clearly made at Mystery Hill (clarified meaning). She explains that smaller stone objects such as jewelry found at the site bear similar tool marks as those on larger stones, indicating that both were crafted using identical hammering techniques employed by Native American. She says that the jury of same type of marks have appeared early through other evidences.Americans (added specific details).

8. Mind Map

- Introduction
  - Mystery Hill and European monuments similarities
  - Author's argument: builders of Mystery Hill were inspired by European monuments
  - Lecturer's counterargument: similarities are coincidental

- Stone Arrangement
  - Author: alignment with astronomical events, like Stonehenge
  - Lecturer: alignments not original, stones moved by private owner in the 1930s

- Writing System
  - Author: early European writing found on a large flat stone, used by Irish people around 1,500 years ago
  - Lecturer: lines likely created accidentally by farming equipment

- Quarrying Methods
  - Author: similar to those practiced in Europe, not associated with ancient Native Americans
  - Lecturer: evidence suggests Native Americans responsible for quarrying at Mystery Hill, identical hammering techniques used on small and large stones

9. Key Words