TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Decisive factor for long-term friendship Your professor is teaching a class on psychology. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.
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Professor
When people are asked about the decisive factor in determining the lasting time of friendship, they usually mention something very obvious, like being friendly or kind. But there are thousands of other elements that have a huge impact on how long we maintain our relationship with friends. What factors—other than friendliness and kindness—would you choose as being important in your long-term relationship with your friends? Why?
Wendy
Common interests with friends help us to stay connected over a long time. With common interests, we could have so many shared experiences. For example, if you both love cooking, you could try out a new recipe together. Or every time an episode of your favorite show comes out, you could talk on the phone. We all have moments like this and this shared interest is like an anchor that generates exclusivity between you and your friends, which could cement or solidify the friendship.
Jacobs
I think long-term friendship requires a reciprocal commitment. That means the exchange of something between people. For example, helping each other during crisis is a decisive factor to deepen our intimacy with friends. When our friends are having a rough week, a phone call, a patient listening, or a care package of snacks to them would help turn a whole week.
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In response to the professor's question on what factors being important in long-term relationship with friends, I firmly believe that common interests and goals are important in long-term relationship. I will develop my standpoint as follows. Firstly, common interests are essential to communication, which means we can share the thought on the same things. My experience can illustrate the idea. My hobby is song and my favorite singer is Jackson. And my sister also like him. So we always go to Jackson's concert. Secondly, it is crucial that we have common goals, such as getting better grades or making more money. Only in this way can we understand each other better. And we can cooperate with each other on something important. In conclusion, I think common interests and goals are important in long-term relationship.
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1. Sub Scores:
Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5 Language Use and Grammar: 3.5
2. Estimated Scores:
Estimated Score: 23
3. Task completeness:
The essay adequately addresses the task requirements by expressing a personal opinion on the factors important for long-term friendships and providing examples to support the viewpoint. However, there is room for improvement in terms of elaboration and clarity. The writer could provide more specific details or examples to support their ideas, as well as rephrase some sentences for better clarity.
Example 1: Original: "My hobby is song and my favorite singer is Jackson." Improved: "My hobby is listening to music, and my favorite singer is Michael Jackson."
Example 2: Original: "And we can cooperate with each other on something important." Improved: "Having common goals allows us to collaborate effectively on important projects or endeavors."
4. Essay structure and organization:
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the organization could be improved by using clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, each paragraph should focus on a specific point with supporting details.
Example 1: Original: "Firstly, common interests are essential to communication..." Improved: "One significant factor contributing to long-lasting friendships is having common interests because they facilitate communication..."
Example 2: Original: "Secondly, it is crucial that we have common goals..." Improved: "Another important aspect of enduring friendships is sharing common goals, which fosters understanding and cooperation among friends..."
5. Grammar
In response to the professor's question on what factors being important in long-term relationship with friends, I firmly believe that common interests and goals are important in long-term relationship. I will develop my standpoint as follows. Firstly, common interests are essential to communication, which means we can share the thought on the same things. My experience can illustrate the idea. My hobby is song and my favorite singer is Jackson. And my sister also like him. So we always go to Jackson's concert. Secondly, it is crucial that we have common goals, such as getting better grades or making more money. Only in this way can we understand each other better. And we can cooperate with each other on something important. In conclusion, I think common interests and goals are important in longa long(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.)-term relationship.
Decisive Factors for Long-term Friendship
In response to the professor's inquiry regarding crucial elements in sustaining long-term friendships, I am convinced that shared interests and common goals play a significant role. To elaborate on my perspective, shared interests foster effective communication as they enable individuals to exchange thoughts on relatable subjects. For instance, my passion for music, particularly my admiration for the artist Jackson, is shared by my sister. Consequently, we frequently attend his concerts together, strengthening our bond. Furthermore, having mutual objectives, such as academic or financial aspirations, enhances understanding and collaboration between friends. By working together towards common goals, friendships are solidified and endure the test of time. (110 words)
In response to the professor's question inquiry regarding crucial elements (Changed "question on what factors being important important" to "inquiry regarding crucial elements" for better clarity and phrasing) in sustaining long-term friendships, I am convinced that shared interests and common goals play a significant role (Replaced "important in long-term relationship relationship" with friends, I firmly believe that common "play a significant role" for improved sentence structure). To elaborate on my perspective, shared interests and goals are important in long-term relationship. I will develop my standpoint foster effective communication as follows. Firstly, common interests are essential to communication, which they enable individuals to exchange thoughts on relatable subjects (Rephrased "which means we can share the thought on the same things. My experience can illustrate the idea. My things" for better clarity). For instance, my passion for music, particularly my admiration for the artist Jackson, is shared by my sister. Consequently, we frequently attend his concerts together, strengthening our bond (Revised sentence structure and replaced "my hobby is song and my favorite singer is Jackson. And my sister also like him. So we always go to Jackson's concert. Secondly, it is crucial that we have concert" with a more coherent example). Furthermore, having mutual objectives (Changed "common goals" to "mutual objectives" for variety), such as academic or financial aspirations, enhances understanding and collaboration between friends (Improved sentence structure and provided examples of common goals). By working together towards common goals, such as getting friendships are solidified and endure the test of time (Rephrased the last sentence for better grades or making more money. Only in this way can we understand each other better. And we can cooperate with each other on something important. In conclusion, I think common interests and goals are important in long-term relationship.flow and conclusion).
8 Mind Map
- Decisive Factors for Long-term Friendship
- Shared Interests
- Effective communication
- Exchange of thoughts on relatable subjects
- Example: passion for music and attending concerts together
- Common Goals
- Academic or financial aspirations
- Enhances understanding and collaboration between friends
- Working together towards mutual objectives
- Solidifies friendships and helps them endure the test of time
9 Key Words
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | English Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Decisive | /dɪˈsaɪsɪv/ | Adjective | Settling an issue; producing a definite result | Decisive | The decisive factors for long-term friendship include shared interests and common goals. |
| Sustain | /səˈsteɪn/ | Verb | Strengthen or support physically or mentally | Sustain | Shared interests help sustain long-term friendships by fostering effective communication. |
| Elaborate | /ɪˈlabərət/ | Verb | Add more detail concerning what has already been said | Elaborate | To elaborate on my perspective, shared interests foster effective communication. |
| Relatable | /rɪˈleɪtəb(ə)l/ | Adjective | Able to be related to something else | Relatable | Shared interests enable individuals to exchange thoughts on relatable subjects. |
| Consequently | /ˈkɒnsɪkw(ə)ntli/ | Adverb | As a result | Consequently | Consequently, we frequently attend his concerts together, strengthening our bond. |
| Mutual | /ˈmjuːtʃʊəl/ | Adjective | Held in common by two or more parties | Mutual | Having mutual objectives enhances understanding and collaboration between friends. |
| Aspirations | /aspɪˈreɪʃ(ə)nz/ | Noun (plural) | A hope or ambition of achieving something | Aspirations | Common goals, such as academic or financial aspirations, play a significant role in friendships. |
| Collaboration | /kəlabəˈreɪʃ(ə)n/ | Noun _ | The action of working with someone to produce something_ | Collaboration _ | Enhanced collaboration between friends is a result of working together towards mutual objectives._ |
| Solidify | /səˈlɪdɪfaɪ/ | Verb | Make stronger; reinforce | Solidify | By working together towards common goals, friendships are solidified and endure the test of time. |
| Endure | /ɛnˈdjʊr/ | Verb | Suffer patiently; remain in existence | Endure | Long-term friendships endure the test of time when built on shared interests and common goals. |
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