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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on political science. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

Bài nộp thực tế của người dùng với đánh giá và phản hồi bằng AI

Có 96 bài mẫu do người dùng gửi

Bắt Đầu Luyện Tập Miễn Phí

Tổng Quan Dạng Bài

Professor

We've been discussing government budgets and the difficult decisions governments must make regarding the use of public funds. Some services are clearly essential and must be paid for by any government. But what about public funding of the arts? Do you believe that governments should provide financial support to artists--for example, painters, sculptors, musicians,or filmmakers? Why or why not?

Claire

I enjoy art as much as anyone does, but public funds come from taxes, and I don't think taxpayers' hard-earned money should be spent on impractical or inessential items and services. Artists should support themselves by selling their work to private individuals and companies.If they can't find enough buyers, then maybe they should change careers.

Pual

Personally, I think art actually is essential. Lots of public spaces in my hometown just wouldn't be the same without artwork. From statues in public parks to murals painted on the walls of government buildings, my hometown really benefits from funding the artists who created these works. The public spaces are simply more enjoyable for visitors because of the artwork.

Bài Mẫu Của Người Dùng & Kết Quả Đánh Giá

Practise TOEFL writing questions like this one →

Opens the writing question list in the LingoLeap app, not this exact question. Practising needs a free account. AI scoring uses credits, except 3 free scores a day on Practice Test 1 (PQ26-1) questions.

1

Bài Mẫu Của Người Dùng #1

In my opinion, governments should provide financial support to artists, because the course of art is not merely commercial product, but related to pu...

Điểm Số
27

Bài Mẫu Của Người Dùng

In my opinion, governments should provide financial support to artists, because the course of art is not merely commercial product, but related to public welfare. Admittedly, art seem to be impractical, but it actually has an fundamental impact on practical perspects,such as social activity and public education. In a study raised by Peking University, the community that submerged in art atmosphere, where artists are gathering, is more likely to attracted high-income class population and thus the price of the real estate remains high. Considering the benefits brought by active artist, there is no reason for government to invest and pay the artist for their work. Besides, the payment also promote the rate of employment, which is also helpful in building a harmonius society.

Kết Quả Đánh Giá

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

  • 27

3. 任务完成度

总体来说,你的文章在完成任务方面做得很好。你明确表达了观点,并提供了一些有力的论据。然而,为了更好地完成任务,你可以尝试以下几点改进:

  1. 在支持观点时,可以使用更具体的例子或数据。

  2. 可以进一步讨论艺术对公共教育和社会活动的影响。

示例1:在讨论艺术对社区的影响时,可以举一个具体的城市或社区作为例子,说明艺术如何提高了当地房价和吸引高收入人群。 示例2:关于艺术对公共教育的影响,可以提到某个具体的艺术项目或活动,说明它是如何帮助提高学生创造力和批判性思维能力的。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构方面还有一些改进空间。虽然你已经包括了引言、主体和结论部分,但在段落内部组织上还可以更加清晰。以下是一些建议:

  1. 每个段落都应该集中讨论一个主要观点,并提供相关的支持细节。

  2. 在段落之间使用明确的过渡词或短语,以帮助读者更好地理解你的论点。

示例1:在讨论艺术对社区的影响时,可以将这个观点放在一个单独的段落中,并在该段落中提供具体的例子和数据。 示例2:在不同观点之间,可以使用过渡词如“此外”、“然而”或“相反地”,以使文章更加流畅。

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, governments should provide financial support to artists, because the course of art is (Two consecutive spaces)not merely commercial product, but related to public welfare. Admittedly, art seem to be impractical, but it actually has ana(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') fundamental impact on practical perspectsprospects(misspelling),such, such(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) as social activity and public education. In a study raised by Peking University, the community that submerged in art atmosphere, where artists are gathering, is more likely to attracted high-income class population and thus the price of the real estate remains high. Considering the benefits brought by active artist, there is no reason for government to invest and pay the artist for their work. Besides, the payment also promotepromotes(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb) the rate of employment, which is also helpful in building a harmoniusharmonics(misspelling) society.

Title: 6 文章修订

In my opinion, governments should indeed provide financial support to artists, as art transcends the realm of mere commercial products and significantly contributes to public welfare. While art may appear impractical at first glance, it profoundly influences various practical aspects such as social activity and public education. A study conducted by Peking University revealed that communities immersed in an artistic atmosphere, where artists congregate, tend to attract high-income populations, subsequently maintaining elevated real estate prices. Given the benefits generated by active artists, it is justifiable for governments to invest in and compensate them for their work. Furthermore, such financial support can promote employment rates and contribute to the development of a harmonious society. (116 words)

In my opinion, governments should indeed provide financial support to artists, because the course of as art is not transcends the realm of mere commercial products (1) and significantly contributes to public welfare (2). While art may appear impractical at first glance (3), it profoundly influences various practical aspects such as social activity and public education (4). A study conducted by Peking University revealed that communities immersed in an artistic atmosphere, where artists congregate, tend to attract high-income populations (5), subsequently maintaining elevated real estate prices (6). Given the benefits generated by active artists, it is justifiable for governments to invest in and compensate them for their work (7). Furthermore, such financial support can promote employment rates and contribute to the development of a harmonious society (8).

(1) Changed "not merely commercial product, but product" to "transcends the realm of mere commercial products" for a more natural expression.

(2) Changed "but related to public welfare. Admittedly, art welfare" to "and significantly contributes to public welfare" for clarity.

(3) Changed "art seem to be impractical, but it actually has an impractical" to "art may appear impractical at first glance" for better readability.

(4) Changed "an fundamental impact on practical perspects,such as social activity and public education. In a study raised by Peking University, the education" to "profoundly influences various practical aspects such as social activity and public education" for clarity and fluency.

(5) Changed "the community that submerged in art atmosphere, where artists are gathering, is more likely to attracted high-income class population and thus the population" to "communities immersed in an artistic atmosphere, where artists congregate, tend to attract high-income populations" for improved readability.

(6) Changed "the price of the real estate remains high. Considering the benefits brought by active artist, there high" to "subsequently maintaining elevated real estate prices" for better flow.

(7) Changed "there is no reason for government to invest and pay the artist for their work. Besides, the work" to "it is justifiable for governments to invest in and compensate them for their work" for a more natural tone.

(8) Changed "the payment also promote the rate of employment, which is also helpful in building a harmonius society.society" to "such financial support can promote employment rates and contribute to the development of a harmonious society" for clarity and consistency.

Title: 8 思维导图


1. Introduction
   - Art transcends commercial products
   - Contributes to public welfare

2. Social Activity
   - Communities with artistic atmosphere
   - Attract high-income populations

3. Public Education
   - Promote employment rates
   - Develop a harmonious society

4. Government Support
   - Justifiable investment in artists
   - Compensation for their work

Title: 9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
transcend/trænˈsɛnd/verbTo go beyond the limits of超越Art transcends the realm of mere commercial products.
impractical/ɪmˈpræktɪkəl/adjectiveNot useful or realistic不切实际的While art may appear impractical at first glance, it profoundly influences various practical aspects.
congregate/ˈkɒŋɡrɪɡeɪt/verbTo gather together in a group聚集Communities immersed in an artistic atmosphere, where artists congregate, tend to attract high-income populations.
elevated/ˈeləveɪtəd/adjective_Higher than normal_较高的subsequently maintaining elevated real estate prices.
justifiable/ˈdʒʌstəfaɪəbəl/_adjective_Able to be shown to be right or reasonable_合理的Given the benefits generated by active artists, it is justifiable for governments to invest in and compensate them for their work.
compensation/ˌkɒmpənˈseɪʃən/_noun_Something given or received as payment for loss, injury, etc._补偿Furthermore, such financial support can promote employment rates and contribute to the development of a harmonious society.
harmonious/hɑrˈmoʊniəs/adjectiveHaving parts that are related in a pleasing way和谐的Financial support can contribute to the development of a harmonious society.
welfare/ˈwelfer/nounHealth, happiness, and good fortune; well-being福利Art significantly contributes to public welfare.
atmosphere/ˈætməsfɪr/nounThe pervading tone or mood of a place, situation, or work of art氛围A study conducted by Peking University revealed that communities immersed in an artistic atmosphere tend to attract high-income populations.
2

Bài Mẫu Của Người Dùng #2

I agree with Paul when he said that survival is the primal human right, because personally speaking, there's nothing more important than the life itse...

Điểm Số
25

Bài Mẫu Của Người Dùng

I agree with Paul when he said that survival is the primal human right, because personally speaking, there's nothing more important than the life itself. Nowadays more and more people have their own car, and I think it's very reasonable for governments to require people to use safety gears when driving, since lots of people won't do so if the requirement is not a law or rule, it is human n. If the government "fully respcect citizens' right" and take it as a personal choice, it will lead a lots of tragedy that can be prevented at first. To sum up, i think it is necessary for government to do so.

Kết Quả Đánh Giá

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

Estimated Score: 25

3. 任务完成度

你的文章在回答问题方面做得很好,观点清晰。但是,有一些语法错误和用词不当。为了提高你的写作水平,我建议你在以下方面进行改进:

  1. 注意使用正确的语法和词汇。

  2. 在表达观点时,尽量使用更多的例子和细节来支持你的观点。

示例1:(原文) "Nowadays more and more people have their own car, and I think it's very reasonable for governments to require people to use safety gears when driving, since lots of people won't do so if the requirement is not a law or rule, it is human n." (修改后) "Nowadays, as car ownership increases, it is reasonable for governments to mandate the use of safety gear while driving because many individuals may neglect these precautions if they are not enforced by law or regulation."

示例2:(原文) "To sum up, i think it is necessary for government to do so." (修改后) "In conclusion, I believe that it is essential for governments to enforce the use of safety gear in order to protect their citizens' well-being."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构基本清晰,但可以进一步改进。为了让文章更有条理,我建议你:

  1. 在引言部分简要介绍你的观点。

  2. 在正文部分,使用不同的段落来阐述和支持你的观点。

  3. 在结论部分,总结你的主要观点。

示例1:(原文) "I agree with Paul when he said that survival is the primal human right, because personally speaking, there's nothing more important than the life itself." (修改后) "In this discussion, I concur with Paul's assertion that survival is the fundamental human right, and I will elaborate on my reasons for supporting this view."

示例2:(添加段落) "One reason for my agreement with Paul is the proven effectiveness of safety gear in reducing fatalities and injuries in accidents. For instance, according to a study conducted by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), seat belts saved approximately 15,000 lives in 2017 alone. This demonstrates the importance of government regulations in ensuring public safety."

5. 语法批改

I agree with Paul when he said that survival is the primal human right, because personally speaking, there's nothing more important than the life itself. Nowadays more and more people have their own car, and I think it's very reasonable for governments to require people to use safety gears when driving, since lots of people won't do so if the requirement is not a law or rule, it is human n. If the government "fully respcectrespect(misspelling) citizens' right" and take it as a personal choice, it will lead a lotsa lot(Agreement: 'a' + plural word) of tragedy that can be prevented at first. To sum up, iI(i vs. I) think it is necessary for government to do so.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In response to the professor's question, I concur with Paul's assertion that survival is the fundamental human right, as life itself holds paramount importance. With the increasing prevalence of car ownership, it is entirely justifiable for governments to mandate the use of safety equipment while driving. Many individuals may neglect these precautions if not legally enforced, which could be attributed to human nature. If governments were to prioritize personal choice over public safety, numerous preventable tragedies might ensue. Therefore, I firmly believe that governmental intervention in enforcing safety measures is both necessary and warranted. (99 words)

In response to the professor's question (clarifying the context), I agree concur with Paul when he said Paul's assertion (more formal language) that survival is the primal fundamental human right, because personally speaking, there's nothing right (more important than precise wording), as life itself holds paramount importance (more formal language). With the life itself. Nowadays increasing prevalence of car ownership (more and more people have their own car, and I think it's very reasonable accurate description), it is entirely justifiable for governments to require people mandate the use of safety equipment while driving (clearer phrasing). Many individuals may neglect these precautions if not legally enforced, which could be attributed to use human nature (more concise and clear). If governments were to prioritize personal choice over public safety, numerous preventable tragedies might ensue (more formal language and clearer phrasing). Therefore, I firmly believe that governmental intervention in enforcing safety gears when driving, since lots of people won't do so if the requirement measures is not a law or rule, it is human n. If the government "fully respcect citizens' right" both necessary and take it as a personal choice, it will lead a lots of tragedy that can be prevented at first. To sum up, i think it is necessary for government to do so.warranted (stronger conclusion).

8 思维导图


- Survival
    - Fundamental human right
    - Life's paramount importance

- Car ownership
    - Increasing prevalence
    - Government mandates on safety equipment

- Human nature
    - Neglect of precautions without enforcement

- Personal choice vs. public safety
    - Preventable tragedies if prioritizing personal choice

- Government intervention
    - Necessary and warranted for enforcing safety measures

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
survival/sərˈvʌɪvəl/nounthe state or fact of continuing to live or exist, especially in difficult conditions生存Survival is the fundamental human right.
paramount/ˈpærəmaʊnt/adjectivemore important than anything else; supreme至高无上的Life itself holds paramount importance.
prevalence/ˈprɛvələns/nounthe fact or condition of being common, widespread, or in general use流行,盛行With the increasing prevalence of car ownership, it is entirely justifiable for governments to mandate safety equipment.
mandate/ˈmændeɪt/nounan official order or commission to do something授权,命令Governments should mandate the use of safety equipment while driving.
enforce/ɪnˈfɔrs/verb_to make people obey a rule or law实施,执行Many individuals may neglect these precautions if not legally enforced.
attribute/əˈtrɪbjuːt/verbto regard something as being caused by归因于This could be attributed to human nature.
prioritize/praɪˈɔrəˌtaɪz/verb_to decide which of a group of things are the most important so that you can deal with them first优先考虑If governments were to prioritize personal choice over public safety, numerous preventable tragedies might ensue.
intervention/ˌɪntərˈvɛnʃən/_noun_the action or process of intervening_干预_Therefore, I firmly believe that governmental intervention in enforcing safety measures is both necessary and warranted.
warranted/ˈwɔrəntɪd/_adjective_justified; authorized_正当的,有保证的_Governmental intervention in enforcing safety measures is both necessary and warranted.
3

Bài Mẫu Của Người Dùng #3

In my perspective, Sam's opinion holds merits. Taxing on unhealthy products assists in improving people's physical health. With fewer unhealthy foods...

Điểm Số
26

Bài Mẫu Của Người Dùng

In my perspective, Sam's opinion holds merits. Taxing on unhealthy products assists in improving people's physical health. With fewer unhealthy foods appearing in markets, people are more inclined to eat healthy and green foods, which can greatly change people's daily diet structures and take in more nutrients. Thus, it's apparent that taxing on such products has huge advantages. Tanya raised the relevant point that taxing such products will let people from families without money continue to buy low-quality products due to their cheaper prices, causing more severe health problems, but she didn't mention that governments can contribute to solving this problem by adopting policies and establishing funds. Governments should accomplish their duties to make policies to ban the production of low-quality foods. For those people who lack money support, they can get public funds to make a living.

Kết Quả Đánh Giá

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现较好,回答了教授的问题,并表达了个人观点。然而,文章可以在以下方面进行改进:

  1. 更具体地说明税收如何影响人们的购买行为和健康状况。

  2. 对于反对意见的讨论可以更深入一些,以便更全面地展示自己的观点。

改进示例:

  1. "With the implementation of taxes on unhealthy products, the prices of these items will increase, which may lead to a decrease in their consumption, thus promoting healthier eating habits among the population."

  2. "While Tanya's concern about the potential impact on low-income families is valid, it is important to consider that education programs and subsidies for healthier food options can be implemented alongside these taxes to minimize any negative effects."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构方面整体不错,有明确的引言、主体和结论。但在组织上还有一些改进空间:

  1. 在引言部分简要介绍双方观点,使读者对讨论有更清晰的了解。

  2. 在主体部分使用更明确的过渡词或短语来连接不同观点。

改进示例:

  1. "In the discussion, Sam supports the idea of taxing unhealthy products, while Tanya argues that such taxes may unfairly target low-income families."

  2. "On the contrary, Tanya believes that..."

5. 语法批改

In my perspective, Sam's opinion holds merits.

Taxing on unhealthy products assists in improving people's physical health. With fewer unhealthy foods appearing in markets, people are more inclined to eat healthy and green foods, which can greatly change people's daily diet structures and take in more nutrients. Thus, it's apparent that taxing on such products has huge advantages.

Tanya raised the relevant point that taxing such products will let people from families without money continue to buy low-quality products due to their cheaper prices, causing more severe health problems, but she didn't mention that governments can contribute to solving this problem by adopting policies and establishing funds. Governments should accomplish their duties to make policies to ban the production of low-quality foods. For those people who lack money support, they can get public funds to make a living.

Section Title: The Impact of Taxing Unhealthy Products

In my perspective, Sam's opinion holds merit. Implementing taxes on unhealthy products can significantly improve public health. With fewer unhealthy options available in the market, people are more inclined to consume healthier and nutrient-rich foods, leading to a positive shift in their daily dietary habits. Thus, it is apparent that taxing such products offers substantial benefits.

Tanya raises a valid concern that taxing these products may disproportionately affect lower-income families who may continue to purchase low-quality products due to their affordability, potentially exacerbating health issues. However, she fails to consider the role of government intervention in addressing this problem through policy-making and financial support. Governments should fulfill their responsibilities by implementing policies that ban the production of low-quality foods and provide public funds to assist those in need, ensuring access to healthier food options for all citizens.

In addition to taxation and policy changes, governments can also allocate revenue generated from these taxes towards educational campaigns promoting healthy eating habits and active lifestyles. Such initiatives can have a profound impact on the overall well-being of society in the long run, further justifying the implementation of taxes on unhealthy products. (197 words)

Section Title: The Impact of Taxing Unhealthy Products

In my perspective, Sam's opinion holds merits. ¶ Taxing merit (changed "merits" to "merit" for correct usage). Implementing taxes on unhealthy products assists in improving people's physical can significantly improve public health. With fewer unhealthy foods appearing in markets, options available in the market, people are more inclined to eat healthy and green foods, which can greatly change people's consume healthier and nutrient-rich foods (rephrased for clarity), leading to a positive shift in their daily diet structures and take in more nutrients. dietary habits. Thus, it's it is apparent that taxing on such products has huge advantages. offers substantial benefits.

Tanya raised the relevant point raises a valid concern (changed "relevant point" to "valid concern" for better expression) that taxing such products will let people from these products may disproportionately affect lower-income families without money who may continue to buy purchase low-quality products due to their cheaper prices, causing more severe affordability, potentially exacerbating health problems, but issues. However, she didn't mention fails to consider the role of government intervention in addressing this problem through policy-making and financial support (rephrased for clarity). Governments should fulfill their responsibilities by implementing policies that ban the production of low-quality foods and provide public funds to assist those in need, ensuring access to healthier food options for all citizens (rephrased for clarity and flow).

In addition to taxation and policy changes, governments can contribute to solving this problem by adopting policies and establishing funds. Governments should accomplish their duties to make policies to ban the production of low-quality foods. For those people who lack money support, they also allocate revenue generated from these taxes towards educational campaigns promoting healthy eating habits and active lifestyles (added a new sentence to provide an additional solution). Such initiatives can get public funds to make a living.have a profound impact on the overall well-being of society in the long run, further justifying the implementation of taxes on unhealthy products.

8 思维导图


1. Introduction
   - Sam's opinion
   - Taxing unhealthy products

2. Benefits of taxing unhealthy products
   - Improved public health
   - Shift in dietary habits

3. Tanya's concern: Impact on lower-income families
   - Disproportionate effects
   - Exacerbating health issues

4. Government intervention and policy-making
   - Banning low-quality foods production
   - Financial support for healthier options

5. Allocation of tax revenue for education and promotion
   - Healthy eating habits campaigns
   - Active lifestyle initiatives 

6. Conclusion 
   - Long-term societal well-being benefits 

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
merit/ˈmɛrɪt/nounThe quality of being particularly good or worthy优点Sam's opinion holds merit in the discussion about taxing unhealthy products.
disproportionately/dɪsproʊˈpɔrʃənətli/adverbTo an extent that is too large or too small in comparison不成比例地Taxing these products may disproportionately affect lower-income families.
exacerbate/ɪgˈzæsərbeɪt/verbTo make a problem, bad situation, or negative feeling worse加剧This could potentially exacerbate health issues among the affected population.
intervention/ˌɪntərˈvɛnʃən/nounThe action or process of intervening, especially in a difficult situation干预Government intervention is necessary to address the problem.
policy-making/ˈpɒlɪsi ˌmeɪkɪŋ/nounThe process of creating or deciding on new rules, laws, or plans政策制定Governments should fulfill their responsibilities through policy-making.
allocate/ˈæləkeɪt/verbTo give something to someone as their share of a total amount分配Governments can allocate revenue generated from these taxes towards educational campaigns.
profound/prəˈfaʊnd/adjectiveVery great or intense; having a deep impact深远的Such initiatives can have a profound impact on the overall well-being of society.
well-being/ˌwɛlˈbiɪŋ/nounThe state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy幸福感Promoting healthy eating habits and active lifestyles contributes to the well-being of society in the long run.
justification/ˌdʒʌstɪfɪˈkeɪʃən/nounThe action of showing something to be right or reasonable理由The benefits and potential impact provide justification for implementing taxes on unhealthy products.
4

Bài Mẫu Của Người Dùng #4

Claire presents a compelling argument that the government are not supposed to support the artists. Admittely, public funds come from taxes and some pe...

Điểm Số
24

Bài Mẫu Của Người Dùng

Claire presents a compelling argument that the government are not supposed to support the artists. Admittely, public funds come from taxes and some people don't want to waste their money on art. However, when considering the government intention in improving the city atrraction which could help the city earns more money and making residents’ life better, I am inclined to prioritize Paul's opinion that the government should provide the financial supporting. To begin with, artists could make the city more beautiful and special. For example, not only the painters can paint on the walls, the sculptors could design characteristic land marks which could help the city attract more visitors, develop the travelling to earn more money. In addition, a very beautiful city could improve residents' happiness. The residents will feel more comfortable and relax. Art will help people to relase their pressure and help them working more efficiency. For example, music which benefits our emotion is a good way to relax , people could go to the concert to have relax with their family .

Kết Quả Đánh Giá

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

24. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在回答问题方面做得很好,但还有一些需要改进的地方。首先,你需要更多地关注语法和词汇的准确性。另外,在支持你的观点时,可以提供更多具体的例子和细节。

Example 1: Instead of "Art will help people to relase their pressure and help them working more efficiency.", you could write "Art helps people release stress, leading to increased work efficiency."

Example 2: Instead of "The residents will feel more comfortable and relax.", you could write "Residents will feel more comfortable and relaxed in a city filled with art."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构基本上是清晰的,但可以通过以下方式进一步改进:首先,在引言部分明确表达你的观点;其次,在正文部分为每个论点提供一个段落,并使用恰当的过渡词;最后,在结论部分总结你的观点。

Example 1: For the introduction, you could write "In response to the professor's question, I believe that governments should provide financial support to artists because it enhances the city's attractiveness and improves residents' well-being."

Example 2: For a transition between points, you could use phrases like "Furthermore" or "In addition" to connect your ideas smoothly. For example, "Furthermore, a city filled with art can boost residents' happiness and overall quality of life."

5. 语法批改

Claire presents a compelling argument that the government are not supposed to support the artists. AdmittelyAdmittedly(misspelling), public funds come from taxes and some people don't want to waste their money on art. However, when considering the government intention in improving the city atrractionattraction(misspelling) which could help the city earnsearn(this will help him sleeps (sleep)) more money and making residents’ life better, I am inclined to prioritize Paul's opinion that the government should provide the financial supporting. To begin with, artists could make the city more beautiful and special. For example, not only the painters can paint on the walls, the sculptors could design characteristic land markslandmarks(land lord (landlord)) which could help the city attract more visitors, develop the travelling to earn more money. In addition, a very beautiful city could improve residents' happiness. The residents will feel more comfortable and relax. Art will help people to relaserelease(misspelling) their pressure and help them workingto work('advise', 'help' and 'remind' used with gerund instead of infinitive) more efficiency. For example, music which benefits our emotion is a good way to relax ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) people could go to the concert to have relaxrelaxed(Agreement: 'have' + past/present tense) with their family ..(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses)

Title: 6 文章修订

While Claire's argument that taxpayers' money should not be spent on what some may perceive as impractical or inessential items and services is valid, I believe that Paul's perspective on the government providing financial support to artists holds more merit. The rationale behind this stance is that government-funded art can significantly enhance a city's appeal, potentially increasing revenue and improving residents' quality of life.

For instance, artists can contribute to a city's unique charm through various mediums such as murals, sculptures, and distinctive landmarks. These artistic elements not only beautify public spaces but also attract tourists, boosting the local economy. Furthermore, a visually appealing city fosters happiness among its residents by creating an aesthetically pleasing environment in which they can relax and unwind. Art also serves as an effective means of stress relief and emotional expression; for example, attending concerts with family members allows people to bond while enjoying music that positively impacts their emotions.

In conclusion, supporting artists financially can lead to numerous benefits for both the city and its inhabitants. Therefore, it is essential for governments to recognize the value of art in society and allocate funds accordingly. (193 words)

Revised essay: Title: 7 文章批改

While Claire presents a compelling argument that the government are should not supposed to support the artists. Admittely, artists, I am inclined to prioritize Paul's opinion that the government should provide financial support. Admittedly, public funds come from taxes and some people don't want to waste their money on art. art (reason: clarify the opposing viewpoint). However, when considering the government government's intention in improving the city atrraction city's attraction (reason: correct spelling), which could help the city earns earn more money and making residents’ life better, make residents' lives better (reason: correct grammar), I am inclined to prioritize Paul's opinion believe that the government should provide the financial supporting. supporting artists is a worthwhile investment.

To begin with, artists could can make the city more beautiful and special. For example, not only the can painters can paint create murals on the walls, the walls (reason: clarify what painters do), but sculptors could can also design characteristic land marks landmarks which could help the city attract more visitors, visitors and develop the travelling tourism to earn more money. money (reason: improve sentence structure). In addition, a very beautiful city could can improve residents' happiness. The residents happiness (reason: simplify phrasing). They will feel more comfortable and relax. relaxed (reason: correct spelling). Art will help helps people to relase release their pressure and help them working more efficiency. (reason: correct spelling) and work more efficiently (reason: correct grammar). For example, music which benefits our emotion emotions and is a good way to relax , relax; people could go to the concert to have relax can attend concerts with their family .for leisure and bonding time (reason: rephrase for clarity).

In conclusion, there are several reasons why the government should provide financial support to artists. Doing so not only enhances a city's appeal but also contributes to its economic growth and improves residents' quality of life.

Title: 8 思维导图


1. Introduction
   - Claire's argument
   - Paul's perspective
   - Rationale for supporting artists

2. City appeal enhancement
   - Murals, sculptures, landmarks
   - Beautify public spaces
   - Attract tourists

3. Economic benefits
   - Boost local economy
   - Increase revenue

4. Improved quality of life
   - Aesthetically pleasing environment
   - Happiness among residents

5. Emotional benefits
   - Stress relief
   - Emotional expression

6. Social benefits
   - Family bonding through concerts

7. Conclusion
   - Importance of government support for artists 

Title: 9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
Rationale/ˈræʃəˌnæl/NounA set of reasons or a logical basis for a course of action or belief理由,原理The rationale behind this stance is that government-funded art can enhance a city's appeal.
Medium/ˈmiːdiəm/NounA means by which something is communicated or expressed媒介,手段Artists can contribute to a city's unique charm through various mediums such as murals and sculptures.
Distinctive/dɪˈstɪŋktɪv/AdjectiveCharacteristic of one person or thing, and so serving to distinguish it from others独特的,特殊的Distinctive landmarks can attract tourists and boost the local economy.
Aesthetically/esˈθetɪkli/AdverbIn a way that relates to beauty or the appreciation of beauty审美地,美学地A visually appealing city fosters happiness among its residents by creating an aesthetically pleasing environment.
Unwind/ʌnˈwaɪnd/VerbRelax after a period of work or tension放松,解压People can relax and unwind in an environment enhanced by art.
Allocate/ˈæləˌkeɪt/VerbDistribute (resources or duties) for a particular purpose分配,拨给It is essential for governments to allocate funds to support artists.
Inhabitants/ɪnˈhæbɪtənts/NounA person or animal that lives in or occupies a place居民,居住者Supporting artists financially can lead to numerous benefits for both the city and its inhabitants.
Concerts/ˈkɒnsəts/NounA musical performance given in public, typically by several performers音乐会Attending concerts with family members allows people to bond while enjoying music.
Revenue/ˈrɛvənju:/NounIncome, especially when of an organization and of a substantial nature收入,收益Government-funded art can potentially increase revenue for the city.
5

Bài Mẫu Của Người Dùng #5

I concur with dalio's perspective that children need to make dicisions in there own, and would like to give some further insights. According to some e...

Điểm Số
24

Bài Mẫu Của Người Dùng

I concur with dalio's perspective that children need to make dicisions in there own, and would like to give some further insights. According to some exmaples around me, many friends of mine often share the same complaint that parents are sometimes so eager to control thier kids. Sam, my roommate in the college dormitary, completely hates his major which was chosen by his father. Finishing courses without interest, he fails to aim his goal which is being a professional boxing athlete. Parents seldom make dicisions after a discussion with their kids, as it turn out to be unessesary, in their mind. Without these kind of restrictions, children can explore more factors in their interested field.

Kết Quả Đánh Giá

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

24. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在回答问题和表达观点方面做得相当不错,但仍有改进的空间。首先,在语法和用词方面需要更加准确。例如,避免使用不恰当的词汇(如 "dicisions" 应为 "decisions","thier" 应为 "their" 等)。其次,在论述观点时可以提供更多具体的例子和细节,以增强说服力。

改进建议1(英文):Instead of using "many friends of mine," you can provide a specific example, such as "My friend Tom faced a similar situation when his parents insisted on choosing his major."

改进建议2(英文):Improve grammar and word usage by revising sentences like "Parents seldom make dicisions after a discussion with their kids" to "Parents often make decisions without discussing them with their children."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章整体结构清晰,包括引言、主体和结论。然而,在段落组织和过渡方面还有待加强。每个段落应集中讨论一个特定的观点,并提供支持细节。同时,在段落之间使用明确的过渡词或短语,使文章更加连贯。

改进建议1(简体中文):在段落之间添加过渡词或短语,如 "此外"、"然而" 等。

改进建议2(简体中文):确保每个段落都有一个明确的主题句,以指导读者了解该段落的主要观点。

改进示例1(英文):Add transition words or phrases between paragraphs, such as "Furthermore, it is important to consider that..."

改进示例2(英文):Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, such as "Allowing children to make their own decisions can lead to increased self-confidence and personal growth."

5. 语法批改

I concur with dalioDario(misspelling)'s perspective that children need to make dicisionsdivisions(misspelling) in theretheir(Detects potentially wrong usage of "there") own, and would like to give some further insights. According to some exmaplesexamples(misspelling) around me, many friends of mine often share the same complaint that parents are sometimes so eager to control thiertheir(misspelling) kids. Sam, my roommate in the college dormitarydormitory(misspelling), completely hates his majormajor,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which was chosen by his father. Finishing courses without interest, he fails to aim his goalgoal,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which is being a professional boxing athlete. Parents seldom make dicisionsdivisions(misspelling) after a discussion with their kids, as it turn out to be unessesarynecessary(misspelling), in their mind. Without these kindthis kind('this' vs. 'these') of restrictions, children can explore more factors in their interested field.

Display title: 6 文章修订

I agree with Dalio's viewpoint that children should be allowed to make their own decisions, and I would like to provide some additional insights. Based on my personal observations, many of my peers often express frustration about their parents' overbearing control. For instance, my college roommate Sam deeply resents the major his father chose for him. As a result of pursuing a field he has no interest in, Sam struggles to achieve his true aspiration of becoming a professional boxer. Parents often make decisions without engaging in meaningful discussions with their children, as they believe such conversations are unnecessary. By allowing children the freedom to make their own choices, they can explore various aspects of their interests and develop a stronger sense of self-direction. (128 words)

I concur agree with Dalio's viewpoint (changed "concur with dalio's perspective perspective" to "agree with Dalio's viewpoint" for a more natural tone and proper capitalization) that children need should be allowed to make their own decisions (rephrased "need to make dicisions in there own, and own" for clarity and correct spelling), and I would like to give provide some further insights. According additional insights (added "additional" for emphasis). Based on my personal observations (rephrased "According to some exmaples around me, me" for clarity and correct spelling), many friends of mine of my peers often share express frustration (changed "share the same complaint that parents complaint" to "express frustration" for a more natural tone) about their parents' overbearing control (rephrased "parents are sometimes so eager to control thier kids. Sam, kids" for clarity and correct spelling). For instance, my college roommate Sam deeply resents the major his father chose for him (rephrased and combined sentences for better flow). As a result of pursuing a field he has no interest in, Sam struggles to achieve his true aspiration of becoming a professional boxer (rephrased sentence for clarity). Parents often make decisions without engaging in meaningful discussions with their children, as they believe such conversations are unnecessary (rephrased sentence for better flow and correct spelling). By allowing children the college dormitary, completely hates his major which was chosen by his father. Finishing courses without interest, he fails to aim his goal which is being a professional boxing athlete. Parents seldom make dicisions after a discussion with their kids, as it turn out to be unessesary, in their mind. Without these kind of restrictions, children freedom to make their own choices, they can explore more factors in their interested field.various aspects of their interests and develop a stronger sense of self-direction (rephrased sentence for clarity).

Display title: 8 思维导图


- Introduction
    - Agree with Dalio's viewpoint
    - Importance of children making their own decisions

- Personal Observations
    - Frustration from peers
    - Example: College roommate Sam
        - Resents major chosen by father
        - Struggles to pursue true aspiration (boxing)

- Parental Control
    - Lack of meaningful discussions
    - Belief that conversations are unnecessary

- Benefits of Freedom in Decision Making
    - Exploration of interests
    - Development of self-direction

Display title: 9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
Viewpoint/ˈvjuːpɔɪnt/NounA way of looking at or thinking about something.观点I agree with Dalio's viewpoint that children should make their own decisions.
Frustration/frʌˈstreɪʃən/NounA feeling of dissatisfaction or annoyance.挫折Many peers express frustration about their parents' overbearing control.
Overbearing/ˌoʊvərˈberɪŋ/AdjectiveActing in a domineering manner; controlling.专横的Sam resents his father's overbearing control over his major choice.
Aspiration/æspəˈreɪʃən/NounA strong desire to achieve something.抱负Sam struggles to achieve his true aspiration of becoming a professional boxer.
Meaningful/ˈmiːnɪŋfəl/AdjectiveHaving a serious, important, or useful purpose.有意义的Parents often make decisions without engaging in meaningful discussions.
Unnecessary/ʌnˈnesəseri/AdjectiveNot needed or required; needless.不必要的They believe such conversations are unnecessary.
Freedom/ˈfriːdəm/NounThe power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants.自由Allowing children the freedom to make their own choices is important.
Exploration/ˌekspləˈreɪʃən/NounThe action of traveling in or through an unfamiliar area.探索Children can explore various aspects of their interests with more freedom.
Self-direction/self dɪˈrekʃən/NounThe ability to guide oneself without external influence.自我指导They can develop a stronger sense of self-direction.

Display title: 6 文章修订

I agree with Dalio's viewpoint that children should be allowed to make their own decisions, and I would like to provide some additional insights. Based on my personal observations, many of my peers often express frustration about their parents' overbearing control. For instance, my college roommate Sam deeply resents the major his father chose for him. As a result of pursuing a field he has no interest in, Sam struggles to achieve his true aspiration of becoming a professional boxer. Parents often make decisions without engaging in meaningful discussions with their children, as they believe such conversations are unnecessary. By allowing children the freedom to make their own choices, they can explore various aspects of their interests and develop a stronger sense of self-direction.

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