TOEFL TPO 9 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage.

1.Sub Scores:

• Task fulfillment: 0

• Organization: 0

• Coherence and Cohesion: 0

• Language Use: 0

2.Estimated Scores:

0. 3.Task completeness:

The essay does not address the specific requirements of the task. It is incomplete and does not summarize the points made in the lecture or explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage. To improve, you should:

• Begin with an introduction that briefly introduces the topic and states that the lecture casts doubt on the reading passage's claims.

• Write a body paragraph for each point made in the lecture, explaining how it contradicts or challenges a corresponding point from the reading passage.

• Conclude by summarizing how the lecture casts doubt on the reading passage's claims.

Example 1: Introduction: The reading passage discusses the potential benefits of hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines as an alternative to internal-combustion engines. However, the lecture casts doubt on these claims by presenting several counterarguments.

Example 2: Body Paragraph: The first point made in the lecture is that hydrogen is not as easily available as claimed in the reading passage. Producing pure liquid hydrogen requires complex technology and energy-intensive processes, which contradicts the assertion that hydrogen is a practical and easily available substance.

4.Essay structure and organization: The essay lacks structure and organization. To improve, you should:

• Follow a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each point discussed, and a conclusion.

• Ensure each paragraph focuses on one specific point from either the reading or listening passages.

• Use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs to guide readers through your essay.

Example 1: Transition between paragraphs: While the reading passage claims that hydrogen-based fuel cells will solve pollution problems, this idea is challenged by the lecture. (Begin discussing pollution-related counterargument from lecture)

Example 2: Conclusion: In conclusion, the lecture presents several counterarguments that cast doubt on the reading passage's claims about the benefits of hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines. By addressing issues related to hydrogen availability, pollution, and cost, the lecture effectively challenges the optimistic view presented in the reading passage.

5. Grammar

The reading argues that

6. Revised Essay

The reading argues that hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines are a promising alternative to internal-combustion engines, offering advantages such as renewable resources, reduced pollution, and economic competitiveness. However, the lecture casts doubt on these claims by presenting counterarguments that highlight the challenges and limitations of fuel-cell technology.

Firstly, the reading states that hydrogen is an easily available and renewable resource, derived from sources like natural gas and water. In contrast, the lecture contends that obtaining pure liquid hydrogen for fuel-cell engines is a complex process. It requires advanced technology to produce and store liquid hydrogen at extremely low temperatures (minus 253 degrees Celsius). This suggests that hydrogen may not be as practical or readily accessible as the reading implies.

Secondly, the reading claims that hydrogen-based fuel cells will help solve pollution problems since their only byproduct is water. However, the lecture points out that producing pure hydrogen generates significant pollution. The purification process necessitates large amounts of energy obtained from burning coal or oil, which in turn creates pollution. Thus, while fuel-cell cars themselves may not pollute directly, the production of hydrogen for these vehicles would still contribute to environmental degradation.

Lastly, the reading asserts that fuel-cell engines will soon be economically competitive due to their higher efficiency compared to internal-combustion engines. The lecture challenges this assertion by highlighting the high manufacturing costs associated with fuel-cell technology. Fuel-cell engines require platinum components for the chemical reaction needed to generate electricity. Platinum is a rare and expensive metal; efforts to find a cheaper alternative have been unsuccessful thus far. Consequently, any potential cost savings from increased efficiency could be offset by these high production costs.

In conclusion, although hydrogen-based fuel cells appear promising in theory as an alternative energy source for automobiles, the lecture raises valid concerns regarding their practicality, environmental impact, and economic feasibility—effectively casting doubt on the optimistic claims presented in the reading passage. (316 words)

6. Revised Essay

The reading argues thatthat hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines are a promising alternative to internal-combustion engines, offering advantages such as renewable resources, reduced pollution, and economic competitiveness (revised for clarity and cohesion). However, the lecture casts doubt on these claims by presenting counterarguments that highlight the challenges and limitations of fuel-cell technology (revised to emphasize the contrasting viewpoints).

Firstly, the reading states that hydrogen is an easily available and renewable resource, derived from sources like natural gas and water (revised for conciseness). In contrast, the lecture contends that obtaining pure liquid hydrogen for fuel-cell engines is a complex process (revised to emphasize contrast). It requires advanced technology to produce and store liquid hydrogen at extremely low temperatures (minus 253 degrees Celsius) (added specific detail). This suggests that hydrogen may not be as practical or readily accessible as the reading implies (clarified conclusion).

Secondly, the reading claims that hydrogen-based fuel cells will help solve pollution problems since their only byproduct is water (revised for clarity). However, the lecture points out that producing pure hydrogen generates significant pollution (emphasized contrast). The purification process necessitates large amounts of energy obtained from burning coal or oil, which in turn creates pollution (added specific details). Thus, while fuel-cell cars themselves may not pollute directly, the production of hydrogen for these vehicles would still contribute to environmental degradation (clarified conclusion).

Lastly, the reading asserts that fuel-cell engines will soon be economically competitive due to their higher efficiency compared to internal-combustion engines (revised for clarity). The lecture challenges this assertion by highlighting the high manufacturing costs associated with fuel-cell technology (emphasized contrast). Fuel-cell engines require platinum components for the chemical reaction needed to generate electricity. Platinum is a rare and expensive metal; efforts to find a cheaper alternative have been unsuccessful thus far (added specific details). Consequently, any potential cost savings from increased efficiency could be offset by these high production costs (clarified conclusion).

In conclusion, although hydrogen-based fuel cells appear promising in theory as an alternative energy source for automobiles, the lecture raises valid concerns regarding their practicality, environmental impact, and economic feasibility—effectively casting doubt on the optimistic claims presented in the reading passage (revised for clarity and cohesion).

8. Mind Map

- Introduction
    - Reading: Hydrogen fuel cells as a promising alternative
    - Lecture: Challenges and limitations of fuel-cell technology

- Availability and Renewability
    - Reading: Hydrogen from natural gas and water
    - Lecture: Complex process to produce and store liquid hydrogen

- Pollution Reduction
    - Reading: Fuel cells only produce water as a byproduct
    - Lecture: Pollution generated during hydrogen production

- Economic Competitiveness
    - Reading: Higher efficiency compared to internal-combustion engines
    - Lecture: High manufacturing costs due to platinum components

- Conclusion
    - Lecture casts doubt on the optimistic claims in the reading passage

9. Key Words

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：4 连贯与衔接：4 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，你的文章在任务完成度方面表现得相当不错。你成功地总结了听力材料中的观点，并对阅读材料中的论点进行了反驳。然而，为了进一步提高你的写作水平，建议你在文章中更详细地解释听力材料中的论据，以便更好地支持你的观点。

示例1： 原文：Needed to be derived from pure water which is highly artificial and it must store in extremely low temperature which must stay at minus 253 degree Celusis. 改进：To derive hydrogen from water, it requires a complex process that involves extracting hydrogen in its pure liquid form, which is highly artificial. Moreover, storing hydrogen demands extremely low temperatures of minus 253 degrees Celsius, necessitating advanced cooling technology.

示例2： 原文：It needs to burn coal and oil to provide enough energy to purify the water. 改进：The purification process for obtaining pure hydrogen from water or natural gas requires a significant amount of energy, which is typically obtained by burning fossil fuels like coal and oil, thus generating pollution.

4.文章结构与组织 从文章结构和组织方面来看，你的文章已经具备了清晰的结构，包括引言、正文和结论。每个段落都集中讨论了一个特定的观点，并提供了支持细节。然而，为了使文章更加流畅，建议你在段落之间使用更多的过渡词和短语。

示例1： 原文：First and foremost, the reading passage states that hydrogen is an abundant energy resource. 改进：To begin with, although the reading passage claims that hydrogen is an abundant energy resource, the lecturer presents a different perspective.

示例2： 原文：Secondly, the author mentions that fuel-cell engines can solve environmental pollution. 改进：In addition to the availability issue, while the author contends that fuel-cell engines can alleviate environmental pollution, the lecturer disputes this assertion.

5. 语法批改

The article talks about several advantages of using fuel-cell engines. Nevertheless, the lecturer in the listening material argues that technologically unfeasible, environmentally unfriendly, and economically unsuccessful, and opposes the points in the reading material. First and foremost, the reading passage states that hydrogen is an abundant energy resource. However, the professor disagrees with it since it is not easily available. It can not get from a direct way. Needed to be derived from pure water which is highly artificial and, and(comma between independent clauses) it must store in extremely low temperature which must stay at minus 253 degree CelusisCelsius(misspelling). Secondly, the author mentions that fuel-cell engines can solve environmental pollution. Whereas, the lecturer thinks it can not solve the environmental problems for the following reasons. There will be more pollution during the purification process. It needs to burn coal and oil to provide enough energy to purify the water. In this way, there will generate more pollution and be more harmful to the environment. Third, although the reading material suggests that hydrogen-based engines are more fuel-efficient and thus economically competitive than internal-combustion engines, the professor argues that such an advantage is undermined by the fact that fuel-cell engines are extremely expensive to manufacture because they require a very rare and expensive component. Without it, the hydrogen does not undergo the chemical reaction that produce electricity to provide energy to automobiles.

6.文章修订

The article highlights several advantages of using fuel-cell engines, yet the lecturer in the listening material counters these points by arguing that hydrogen-based engines are technologically unfeasible, environmentally unfriendly, and economically unsuccessful.

To begin with, although the reading passage claims that hydrogen is an abundant energy resource, the lecturer presents a different perspective. He asserts that hydrogen is not easily available since it cannot be obtained directly from common substances like water. Instead, it must be derived from pure liquid hydrogen, which is highly artificial and requires advanced cooling technology to maintain storage at extremely low temperatures of minus 253 degrees Celsius.

In addition to the availability issue, while the author contends that fuel-cell engines can alleviate environmental pollution, the lecturer disputes this assertion. He explains that although fuel-cell engines themselves may not produce pollution, the process of obtaining pure hydrogen does generate pollution. The purification process for obtaining pure hydrogen from water or natural gas requires a significant amount of energy, which is typically obtained by burning fossil fuels like coal and oil. Consequently, this results in increased pollution levels rather than solving environmental problems.

Lastly, despite the reading material suggesting that hydrogen-based engines are more fuel-efficient and thus economically competitive compared to internal-combustion engines, the professor argues that such an advantage is undermined by their high manufacturing costs. Fuel-cell engines necessitate components made of platinum—a rare and expensive metal—without which hydrogen cannot undergo the chemical reaction required to produce electricity for powering automobiles. So far, efforts to replace platinum with a cheaper alternative have been unsuccessful.

By addressing these concerns raised by the lecturer—hydrogen's availability challenges, pollution generated during its production process, and high manufacturing costs—the optimistic outlook presented in the reading passage regarding fuel-cell engines appears less convincing. (292 words)

7.文章批改

The article talks about highlights several advantages of using fuel-cell engines. Nevertheless, engines, yet the lecturer in the listening material argues that counters these points by arguing that hydrogen-based engines are technologically unfeasible, environmentally unfriendly, and economically unsuccessful, and opposes the points in the reading material. unsuccessful. (This sentence has been revised to provide a clearer and more concise introduction to the essay.)

First and foremost, To begin with, although the reading passage states claims that hydrogen is an abundant energy resource. However, the professor disagrees with it since it resource, the lecturer presents a different perspective. (The transition phrase "To begin with" has been added to improve coherence.) He asserts that hydrogen is not easily available. It can not get available since it cannot be obtained directly from a direct way. Needed to common substances like water. Instead, it must be derived from pure water liquid hydrogen, which is highly artificial and it must store in requires advanced cooling technology to maintain storage at extremely low temperature which must stay at temperatures of minus 253 degree Celusis. degrees Celsius. (This sentence has been revised for clarity and to emphasize the technological challenges involved in obtaining hydrogen.)

Secondly, In addition to the availability issue, while the author mentions contends that fuel-cell engines can solve alleviate environmental pollution, the lecturer disputes this assertion. (The transition phrase "In addition to" has been added for better coherence.) He explains that although fuel-cell engines themselves may not produce pollution, the process of obtaining pure hydrogen does generate pollution. Whereas, the lecturer thinks it can not solve the The purification process for obtaining pure hydrogen from water or natural gas requires a significant amount of energy, which is typically obtained by burning fossil fuels like coal and oil. Consequently, this results in increased pollution levels rather than solving environmental problems for the following reasons. There will be more problems. (This paragraph has been revised for clarity and emphasis on the pollution generated during the purification process. It needs to burn coal and oil to provide enough energy to purify the water. In this way, there will generate more pollution and be more harmful to the environment. hydrogen production.)

Third, although Lastly, despite the reading material suggests suggesting that hydrogen-based engines are more fuel-efficient and thus economically competitive than compared to internal-combustion engines, the professor argues that such an advantage is undermined by the fact that fuel-cell engines are extremely their high manufacturing costs. (The transition word "Lastly" has been added for better coherence.) Fuel-cell engines necessitate components made of platinum—a rare and expensive to manufacture because they require a very rare and expensive component. Without it, the hydrogen does not metal—without which hydrogen cannot undergo the chemical reaction that required to produce electricity for powering automobiles. So far, efforts to replace platinum with a cheaper alternative have been unsuccessful. (This paragraph has been revised for clarity and emphasis on the economic challenges of fuel-cell engines.)

By addressing these concerns raised by the lecturer—hydrogen's availability challenges, pollution generated during its production process, and high manufacturing costs—the optimistic outlook presented in the reading passage regarding fuel-cell engines appears less convincing. (This sentence has been revised to provide energy to automobiles.a stronger conclusion that ties together the main points of the essay.)

8.思维导图

• Introduction

  • Advantages of fuel-cell engines
  • Lecturer's counterarguments

• Hydrogen availability

  • Not easily obtainable
  • Pure liquid hydrogen
  • Advanced cooling technology required

• Environmental pollution

  • Fuel-cell engines vs. pollution generation
  • Purification process for hydrogen production
  • Burning fossil fuels for energy

• Economic challenges

  • High manufacturing costs of fuel-cell engines
  • Platinum components required for chemical reaction
  • Unsuccessful attempts to find cheaper alternatives

9.关键词

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

你的文章基本上回答了问题，但是在解释听力中提到的观点时，可以更详细地描述它们。为了提高任务完成度，请确保更全面地涵盖听力中的观点，并详细解释它们如何对阅读材料产生质疑。

示例1（原文）：Because it should be maintained in a pure liquid state, and this made it very difficult to produce and store. 示例1（修改后）：For using a fuel-cell engine, hydrogen must first be obtained in a pure liquid state, which is technologically very difficult to produce and store as it must be kept at minus 253 degrees Celsius.

示例2（原文）：But the speaker pointed out that the producing process of hydrogen would create more pollutions. 示例2（修改后）：The lecturer argued that producing pure hydrogen creates a lot of pollution because the purification process requires lots of energy obtained by burning coal or oil, which in turn generates pollution.

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构可以进一步改进。请确保引入段落清晰地概述了文章的主题和目标。此外，在正文段落中，要有明确的主题句来引导读者理解每个段落讨论的内容。最后，在结论部分总结文章中讨论的观点。

示例1（原文）：The discourse mainly discussed the advantages of the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine compared with traditional internal-combustion engine. 示例1（修改后）：The reading passage presents several advantages of hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines over traditional internal-combustion engines, while the lecture casts doubt on these points by providing counterarguments.

示例2（原文）：Initially, the writer said that the hydrogen needed for fuel-cell engines is easy to be obtained. 示例2（修改后）：Firstly, although the reading claims that hydrogen is easily obtainable for fuel-cell engines, the lecturer disputes this by explaining the difficulties in producing and storing pure liquid hydrogen.

5. 语法批改

The discourse mainly discussed the advantages of the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine compared with traditional internal-combustion engine. However, the lecturer pointed out that it exaggerated the advantages and many of them are unrealistic.

Initially, the writer said that the hydrogen needed for fuel-cell engines is easy to be obtained. While the lecturer argued that that resource is not as easily available and usable as imaged. Because it should be maintained in a pure liquid state, and this made it very difficult to produce and store. Because to keep the hydrogen in the liquid state, the temperature should be kept very low.

Furthermore, the article stated that the using of hydrogen-based fuel cells can solve the pollution problems effectively. Because burning this resource will only produce water. But the speaker pointed out that the producing process of hydrogen would create more pollutions, for the purification stage need a lot of energy which still need to be generated by consuming fossil fuels such as coal or oil.

Lastly, although the paper stressed the economical competitiveness of fuel-cell engines, the fact is that these machines require more cost compared with internal-combustion engines. The reason is to catalyze the chemical process that would create electricity, an expensive metal is imperative so the cost of fuel-cell engines would increase unavoidable.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The essay primarily highlights the benefits of hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines in comparison to traditional internal-combustion engines. However, the lecturer contends that these advantages are overstated and largely unrealistic.

Firstly, the author claims that hydrogen, essential for fuel-cell engines, is easily obtainable. In contrast, the lecturer argues that this resource is not as readily available and usable as suggested. This is because hydrogen must be maintained in a pure liquid state, making it challenging to produce and store. To keep hydrogen in this liquid state, an extremely low temperature must be maintained.

Moreover, the article posits that using hydrogen-based fuel cells can effectively resolve pollution issues since burning this resource only produces water. Nevertheless, the speaker points out that the production process of hydrogen generates more pollution. This is because the purification stage necessitates a significant amount of energy derived from burning fossil fuels such as coal or oil.

Lastly, while the text emphasizes the economic competitiveness of fuel-cell engines, it fails to consider their higher costs compared to internal-combustion engines. The reason for this increased expense lies in the necessity for an expensive metal catalyst to facilitate the chemical process that generates electricity. Consequently, fuel-cell engine costs will unavoidably rise due to this requirement. (207 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 7.文章批改

The discourse mainly discussed discusses the advantages of the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine engines compared with to traditional internal-combustion engine. engines. However, the lecturer pointed points out that it these benefits are exaggerated the advantages and many of them are unrealistic.

Initially, the writer said that the hydrogen needed states that hydrogen, necessary for fuel-cell engines engines, is easy to be obtained. While obtain. On the other hand, the lecturer argued that that argues that this resource is not as easily available and usable as imaged. Because imagined. This is because it should must be maintained in a pure liquid state, and this made which makes it very difficult to produce and store. Because to To keep the hydrogen in the this liquid state, the a very low temperature should must be kept very low. maintained.

Furthermore, the article stated that the claims that using of hydrogen-based fuel cells can effectively solve the pollution problems effectively. Because since burning this resource will only produce produces water. But However, the speaker pointed out that the producing highlights that the production process of hydrogen would create actually creates more pollutions, for pollution because the purification stage need requires a lot of energy which still need to be generated by consuming fossil fuels such as coal or oil.

Lastly, although the paper stressed the economical emphasizes the economic competitiveness of fuel-cell engines, the fact is that these machines require more cost it overlooks their higher costs compared with to internal-combustion engines. The reason is to catalyze the chemical process that would create electricity, for this increased expense is that an expensive metal is imperative so the cost of fuel-cell engines would catalyst is needed to facilitate the chemical process that generates electricity. As a result, fuel-cell engine costs will inevitably increase unavoidable.due to this requirement.

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8. Mind Map

Essay Structure

1. Introduction

   • Hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines
   • Traditional internal-combustion engines

2. Hydrogen Availability

   • Author's claim: easily obtainable
   • Lecturer's argument: challenging to produce and store

3. Pollution Issues

   • Author's claim: resolves pollution issues (produces water)
   • Lecturer's argument: production process generates pollution (burning fossil fuels)

4. Economic Competitiveness

   • Author's claim: economically competitive
   • Lecturer's argument: higher costs (expensive metal catalyst)

5. Conclusion

Lecture Points

1. Hydrogen production and storage challenges

2. Pollution from hydrogen production process

3. High costs of fuel-cell engines

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9. Keywords