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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: your processor is teaching a class on economics. Write a post responding to the professor's question. in your response, you should do the following. Express and support your opinion. Make a contribution to the discussion in your own words. An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

AI 기반 평가와 피드백이 포함된 실제 사용자 제출 답안

사용자 제출 예시 1개 이용 가능

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과제 개요

Professor

In 1930, a famous economist predicted that at the end of the twentieth century. an average worker would work only 15 hours a week thanks to advances in technology. This did not happen, as we all know. Nonetheless, the balance between work time and free time remains an interesting question. So, let me ask you today: Twenty years in the future, will people have more leisure time(free time) and less work than they have today? Why, or why not?

Student A

I think it is likely that people will work shorter hours in twenty years than they do today. Our societies are becoming wealthier all the time. it does not seem necessary for people to continue working as hard as they do today. At some point, having more free time should be more important than creating more wealth.

Student B

i am not sure people will work less in the future As Doctor Achebe wrote, a shortening of the workweek was predicted before. There are many factors that determine haw long people work. Our economic system is very competitive. Workers are pushed to work longer and longer hours so that companies have a competitive advantage.

사용자 예시 및 평가 결과

1

사용자 예시 #1

Nowadays, the question of whether people will have more leisure time in twenty years has sparked much discussion and debate. From my perspective, I st...

점수
26

사용자 예시

Nowadays, the question of whether people will have more leisure time in twenty years has sparked much discussion and debate. From my perspective, I strongly believe that it is undoubtful that individuals will have more free time in the future, as cutting-edge technology and its application explore many businesses and social development, thereby reducing the workload of each individual. To be more specific, with the technology developed by leaps and bounds and Chatpt, for example, an increasing number of effective tools and products will be invented in twenty years. They not only reduce unnecessary jobs and workload for individuals but also decrease expenses for ordinary companies, which in turn encourages their client's pressure. Then individuals will have more time entertained and take part in social activities. In conclusion, taking into account above all, I remain to argue that technology, especially cutting-edge technology, such as big data, and blockchain will benefit individuals' lives and allow them more manageable and promising in the future.

평가 결과

1.子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2.预估分数

26. 3.任务完成度

整体而言,这篇文章回答了教授的问题,并提出了一个观点。然而,文章可以在以下方面进行改进:首先,在论述观点时,可以提供更具体的例子来支持观点。其次,尽管文章提到了一些技术,但未能充分解释它们如何影响人们的工作和休闲时间。

示例1:为了支持观点,可以添加一些具体的例子,如自动化生产线将减少人力需求,从而缩短工作时间。 示例2:在讨论技术如何影响人们的生活时,可以详细说明大数据和区块链等技术如何帮助减轻工作负担。

4.文章结构与组织 这篇文章具有清晰的结构(包括引言、正文和结论),并在每段中关注特定观点及其支持细节。然而,在以下方面仍有改进空间:首先,在段落之间加入更明确的过渡词或短语以增强连贯性。其次,在正文部分,可以将不同的观点和论据分成不同的段落以提高可读性。

示例1:在第一段和第二段之间,可以添加过渡词语,如“首先”或“此外”,以帮助读者更好地理解文章结构。 示例2:在正文部分,可以将讨论技术发展对工作时间影响的观点和论述社会活动参与度增加的观点分成两个段落。

5.语法批改

Nowadays, the question of whetherwhether(the question whether (whether) etc.) people will have more leisure time in twenty years has sparked much discussion and debate. From my perspective, I strongly believe that it is undoubtfuldoubtful(misspelling) that individuals will have more free time in the future, as cutting-edge technology and its application explore many businesses and social development, thereby reducing the workload of each individual.

To be more specific, with the technology developed by leaps and bounds and Chatpt, for example, an increasing number of effective tools and products will be invented in twenty years. They not only reduce unnecessary jobs and workload for individuals but also decrease expenses for ordinary companies, which in turn encourages their client's pressure. Then individuals will have more time entertained and take part in social activities.

In conclusion, taking into account above all, I remain to argue that technology, especially cutting-edge technology, such as big data, and blockchain will benefit individuals' lives and allow them more manageable and promising in the future.

6.文章修订

The debate surrounding whether people will have more leisure time in twenty years has gained significant attention. I firmly believe that individuals will undoubtedly enjoy increased free time in the future, as cutting-edge technology and its applications revolutionize various industries and promote social development, ultimately reducing each person's workload.

To elaborate, technological advancements are progressing at an unprecedented rate, leading to the invention of numerous efficient tools and products within the next two decades. These innovations not only streamline tasks and reduce workloads for individuals but also decrease expenses for companies. Consequently, this alleviates pressure on clients, allowing them to allocate more time for leisure and social activities.

In summary, considering the rapid development of technology – particularly in fields such as big data and blockchain – it is evident that these advancements will significantly enhance individuals' lives by making them more manageable and promising in the future. (149 words)

Nowadays, the question of 7.文章批改

The debate surrounding whether people will have more leisure time in twenty years has sparked much discussion gained significant attention (revised for clarity and debate. From my perspective, formality). I strongly firmly believe that it is undoubtful that individuals will have more undoubtedly enjoy increased free time in the future, as cutting-edge technology and its application explore many businesses applications revolutionize various industries and promote social development, thereby development (revised for coherence and clarity), ultimately reducing the workload of each individual. person's workload.

To be more specific, with elaborate, technological advancements are progressing at an unprecedented rate (revised for formality), leading to the technology developed by leaps and bounds and Chatpt, for example, an increasing number invention of effective numerous efficient tools and products will be invented in twenty years. They within the next two decades. These innovations not only streamline tasks and reduce unnecessary jobs and workload workloads for individuals but also decrease expenses for ordinary companies, which in turn encourages their client's pressure. Then individuals will have companies (revised for clarity). Consequently, this alleviates pressure on clients, allowing them to allocate more time entertained for leisure and take part in social activities. activities (revised for coherence).

In conclusion, taking into account above all, I remain to argue that technology, especially cutting-edge technology, summary, considering the rapid development of technology – particularly in fields such as big data, data and blockchain – it is evident that these advancements will benefit significantly enhance individuals' lives and allow by making them more manageable and promising in the future.future (revised for clarity and coherence).

8.思维导图

  • Introduction

    • Debate on leisure time in 20 years
    • Belief in increased free time
    • Role of cutting-edge technology
  • Body

    • Technological advancements
      • Unprecedented rate of progress
      • Efficient tools and products
    • Impact on individuals and companies
      • Streamlined tasks and reduced workloads
      • Decreased expenses for companies
      • Alleviated pressure on clients
    • Increased leisure and social activities time allocation
  • Summary

    • Rapid development of technology (big data, blockchain)
    • Enhanced lives with more manageable and promising future

9.关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionChinese TranslationSample Sentences
debate/dɪˈbeɪt/nounA discussion or argument about a particular subject辩论The debate surrounding the impact of technology on leisure time is ongoing.
revolutionize/rɛvəˈluʃəˌnaɪz/verbTo completely change something so that it is much better彻底改变Cutting-edge technology will revolutionize various industries in the future.
unprecedented/ʌnˈprɛsɪdəntɪd/adjectiveNever having happened or existed before前所未有的The rate of technological advancements is unprecedented.
streamline/ˈstriːm.laɪn/verbTo make something more efficient, especially by simplifying简化,使高效These innovations will streamline tasks and reduce workloads for individuals.
alleviate/əˈliː.vi.eɪt/verbTo make something less severe or serious减轻,缓解The decreased expenses for companies will alleviate pressure on clients.
leisure/ˈliː.ʒər/nounTime when you are not working or doing other duties休闲People will have more leisure time in the future due to technological advancements.
cutting-edge/ˈkʌt.ɪŋ ˌedʒ/adjectiveVery modern and using the most recent ideas and methods尖端的Cutting-edge technology plays a crucial role in shaping our future lives.
big data/bɪɡ ˈdeɪ.tə/nounExtremely large data sets that can be analyzed computationally大数据Big data analysis helps companies make better decisions and improve efficiency.
blockchain/ˈblɒk.tʃeɪn/nounA digital ledger in which transactions are recorded chronologically and publicly区块链Blockchain technology has the potential to revolutionize various industries.
promising/ˈprɒm.ɪ.sɪŋ/adjectiveShowing signs of being successful or good in the future有前途的The rapid development of technology makes the future more promising for individuals.

Academic Discussion 채점 방식

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 ETS 공식 채점 기준에 따라 평가됩니다. AI 평가는 여러 측면에서 각 답안을 분석합니다.

관련성 및 기여도

답안이 질문에 답하고 토론에 의미 있게 기여하는가?

언어 사용

문법 정확성, 어휘 범위, 문장 구조의 질.

전개 및 근거

구체적인 예시와 명확한 논리로 아이디어가 잘 전개되었는가?

답안에서 나타나는 공통 패턴

이 과제에 대한 사용자 제출 답안을 분석한 결과, 학생 답안에서 관찰된 공통 패턴은 다음과 같습니다.

많은 학생이 명확한 의견을 제시하지만 구체적인 뒷받침 예시가 부족합니다.

높은 점수를 받은 답안은 리딩 지문과 다른 참여자의 의견을 직접 인용합니다.

점수가 높은 답안은 다양한 문장 구조와 학술적 어휘를 사용합니다.

시간 관리는 핵심 요소입니다 — 서두른 느낌을 주는 답안은 전개 항목에서 낮은 점수를 받는 경향이 있습니다.

학습 팁

1

글을 쓰기 전에 프롬프트를 꼼꼼히 읽고 질문의 모든 부분을 파악하세요.

2

답안에서 리딩 지문과 다른 학생들의 의견을 언급하세요.

3

핵심 주장을 뒷받침할 구체적인 예시를 사용하고, 일반적인 진술은 피하세요.

4

120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 답안이 길다고 항상 좋은 것은 아니며, 명료함과 초점이 더 중요합니다.

5

시험 조건에서 유창하게 답하기 위해 시간을 정해(10분) 연습하세요.

자주 묻는 질문

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제란 무엇인가요?
TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 온라인 수업 토론에 참여하는 것을 요구합니다. 교수의 질문과 다른 학생들의 답변을 읽은 후, 약 10분 안에 자신의 의견을 표현하고 뒷받침하는 글을 작성하게 됩니다.
Academic Discussion 과제는 어떻게 채점되나요?
이 과제는 토론과의 관련성, 언어 사용의 질(문법, 어휘, 문장 구조), 그리고 구체적인 예시와 근거를 통해 아이디어를 얼마나 잘 전개하고 뒷받침하는지를 기준으로 0~5점 척도로 채점됩니다.
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이 Academic Discussion 과제를 어떻게 연습할 수 있나요?
무료 LingoLeap 계정에 가입하여 연습할 수 있습니다. 바로 이 질문에 대한 답변을 직접 작성하여 제출하면, 글쓰기에 대한 상세한 피드백과 함께 즉시 AI 평가를 받을 수 있습니다.
Academic Discussion 답변은 얼마나 길게 써야 하나요?
120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 이 과제는 답변을 작성할 10분의 시간을 제공합니다. 더 긴 답변을 쓰기보다는 명확성, 구체적인 예시로 의견을 뒷받침하는 것, 토론 맥락을 참조하는 것에 집중하세요.

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