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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on scientific discoveries. Write a post responding to the professor’s question. In your response you should: • express and support your opinion • make a contribution to the discussion An effective response will contain at least 100 words. You will have 10 minutes to write it.

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과제 개요

Dr. Gupta

This week's course materials will focus on scientific discoveries. While scientific researchers usually prefer to share what they learn with other scientists, many businesses and governments keep certain scientific discoveries secret. Some people believe that all scientific discoveries should be shared freely among scientists all around the world and that governments and businesses should not keep any discoveries secret. What do you believe and why?

Kelly

I don't think all discoveries should be shared. Businesses, for example, oUen spend a lot of money on scientific research in order to make a discovery that can lead to profit. Even if that discovery benefits everyone, the business has a right to keep the discovery secret so that it can develop a profitable product from the research.

Paul

Sharing knowledge is crucially important to most scientists. Scientists usually publish the details of their discoveries in scientific journals, which means that everyone can see what the scientists have accomplished. Being recognized as the person who made a discovery is the biggest reward for any scientist. When scientists keep their discoveries secret, they lose that recognition. That is very unsatisfying

사용자 예시 및 평가 결과

1

사용자 예시 #1

Echoing Paul, I contend that transparency and open sharing are crucial for the advancement of science. The open collaboration of different scientist...

점수
28

사용자 예시

Echoing Paul, I contend that transparency and open sharing are crucial for the advancement of science. The open collaboration of different scientists could not only accelerate innovation but also create a marketplace of ideas that can bring commercial opportunities. GitHub, where developers and companies share their novel code and algorithms, exemplifies this. GitHub fosters a dynamic collaborative environment, and this openness attracts engineers who enhance and refine these discoveries, sometimes even developing a robust plugin ecosystem. Moreover, collaborative efforts can draw the attention of product managers eager to apply innovative technologies in practical scenarios, leading to commercial gains. Critics might argue that sharing scientific discoveries could infringe on the company’s commercial rights. However, this viewpoint overlooks that open collaboration could serve as the catalyst for commercial success, by attracting contributions that could enhance the values and applications of these discoveries. In conclusion, I restate that the open sharing of scientific discoveries could not only enhance science development but also achieve commercial success.

평가 결과

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5 Language Use and Grammar: 4.5

2. 预估分数

28. 3 任务完成度

整体来说,这篇文章很好地回答了问题,并且表达了作者的观点。但是,为了更好地完成任务,可以考虑在论述中加入更多具体的例子来支持观点。此外,在讨论中可以提及一些反对意见以及对这些反对意见的回应,这样可以使文章更加全面。

Example 1: Instead of just mentioning GitHub, you could provide a specific example of a project or discovery that was shared on the platform and led to commercial success.

Example 2: You could discuss a counterargument, such as the potential risk of intellectual property theft when sharing scientific discoveries, and provide a rebuttal to this argument.

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面已经做得很好,有明确的引言、主体和结论。每个段落都集中讨论了一个特定的观点,并提供了支持细节。然而,在段落之间增加一些过渡词或短语可以使文章更加流畅。

Example 1: In the second paragraph, you could add a transition phrase like "For instance" before mentioning GitHub to smoothly introduce the example.

Example 2: Before discussing the counterargument in the third paragraph, you could use a transition like "On the other hand" to signal a shift in perspective.

5. 语法批改

Echoing Paul, I contend that transparency and open sharing are crucial for the advancement of science.

The open collaboration of different scientists could not only accelerate innovation but also create a marketplace of ideas that can bring commercial opportunities. GitHub, where developers and companies share their novel code and algorithms, exemplifies this. GitHub fosters a dynamic collaborative environment, and this openness attracts engineers who enhance and refine these discoveries, sometimes even developing a robust plugin ecosystem. Moreover, collaborative efforts can draw the attention of product managers eager to apply innovative technologies in practical scenarios, leading to commercial gains.

Critics might argue that sharing scientific discoveries could infringe on the company’s commercial rights. However, this viewpoint overlooks that open collaboration could serve as the catalyst for commercial success, by attracting contributions that could enhance the values and applications of these discoveries.

In conclusion, I restate that the open sharing of scientific discoveries could not only enhance science development but also achieve commercial success.

Section Title: The Importance of Sharing Scientific Discoveries

I concur with Paul that transparency and open sharing are essential for the progress of science.

Open collaboration among scientists can not only expedite innovation but also establish a marketplace of ideas, potentially leading to commercial opportunities. A prime example is GitHub, where developers and companies share their innovative code and algorithms. This platform fosters a dynamic collaborative environment, attracting engineers who contribute to the enhancement and refinement of these discoveries, sometimes even developing a robust plugin ecosystem. Furthermore, such collaborative efforts can capture the interest of product managers keen on applying groundbreaking technologies in practical scenarios, ultimately resulting in commercial gains.

Detractors may argue that divulging scientific discoveries could infringe on a company's commercial rights. However, this perspective fails to consider that open collaboration could act as a catalyst for commercial success by attracting contributions that enhance the value and applications of these discoveries.

Therefore, it is crucial to recognize that openly sharing scientific discoveries can not only foster scientific advancement but also contribute to achieving commercial success. By embracing this approach, we can create an environment where innovation thrives and benefits all parties involved. (194 words)

Echoing Paul, Section Title: The Importance of Sharing Scientific Discoveries (Changed "7 文章批改" to a more relevant and descriptive title)

I contend concur with Paul (Replaced "Echoing" with "I concur with" for a more natural tone) that transparency and open sharing are crucial for the advancement essential for the progress of science.

The open Open collaboration of among scientists (Changed "of different scientists could scientists" to "among scientists" for conciseness) can not only accelerate expedite innovation (Replaced "accelerate" with "expedite" for better word choice) but also create establish a marketplace of ideas that can bring ideas, potentially leading to commercial opportunities. A prime example is GitHub, where developers and companies share their novel innovative code and algorithms, exemplifies this. GitHub algorithms. This platform fosters a dynamic collaborative environment, and this openness attracts attracting engineers who enhance and refine contribute to the enhancement and refinement of these discoveries, sometimes even developing a robust plugin ecosystem. Moreover, Furthermore, such collaborative efforts can draw the attention capture the interest of product managers eager to apply innovative keen on applying groundbreaking technologies in practical scenarios, leading to ultimately resulting in commercial gains.

Critics might Detractors may argue that sharing divulging scientific discoveries could infringe on the company’s a company's commercial rights. However, this viewpoint overlooks perspective fails to consider that open collaboration could serve act as the a catalyst for commercial success, success by attracting contributions that could enhance the values value and applications of these discoveries.

In Therefore, it is crucial to recognize (Changed "In conclusion, I restate that the open that" to "Therefore, it is crucial to recognize" for better flow) that openly sharing of scientific discoveries could can not only enhance science development foster scientific advancement but also achieve commercial success.contribute to achieving commercial success. By embracing this approach, we can create an environment where innovation thrives and benefits all parties involved.

8 思维导图


- The Importance of Sharing Scientific Discoveries
    - Transparency and open sharing
        - Essential for scientific progress
    - Open collaboration
        - Expedite innovation
        - Marketplace of ideas
            - Commercial opportunities
            - Example: GitHub
                - Share code and algorithms
                - Dynamic collaborative environment
                - Attract engineers and contributions
                - Plugin ecosystem development
                - Interest from product managers
                    - Practical applications of technologies 
                    - Commercial gains 
    - Counterargument: Infringement on commercial rights 
        - Rebuttal: Open collaboration as a catalyst for success 
            - Enhance value and applications of discoveries 
    - Conclusion: Embrace open sharing 
        - Foster scientific advancement 
        - Achieve commercial success 
        - Create an environment where innovation thrives and benefits all parties involved.

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
concur/kənˈkɜr/verbagree; be of the same opinion同意,一致意见I concur with Paul that transparency and open sharing are essential for the progress of science.
expedite/ˈɛkspədaɪt/verbmake (an action or process) happen sooner加快,促进Open collaboration among scientists can not only expedite innovation but also establish a marketplace of ideas.
marketplace/ˈmɑrkɪtpleɪs/noun/a place where people buy and sell goods市场,交易场所A marketplace of ideas, potentially leading to commercial opportunities.
collaborative/kəˈlæbərətɪv/adjective/involving two or more people working together/合作的,协作的This platform fosters a dynamic collaborative environment.
ecosystem/ˈikoʊsɪstəm/noun/a system formed by the interaction of a community of organisms with their environment生态系统Sometimes even developing a robust plugin ecosystem.
detractors/dɪˈtræktərz/noun/people who criticize something or someone批评者,诋毁者Detractors may argue that divulging scientific discoveries could infringe on a company's commercial rights.
divulging/daɪˈvʌldʒɪŋ/verb/make known (private or sensitive information)/泄露,透露Divulging scientific discoveries could infringe on a company's commercial rights.
catalyst/ˈkætəlɪst/noun/a person or thing that precipitates an event/催化剂,促进因素Open collaboration could act as a catalyst for commercial success by attracting contributions that enhance the value and applications of these discoveries.
thrive/θraɪv/verb/grow or develop well or vigorously/繁荣,兴旺Create an environment where innovation thrives and benefits all parties involved.

Academic Discussion 채점 방식

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 ETS 공식 채점 기준에 따라 평가됩니다. AI 평가는 여러 측면에서 각 답안을 분석합니다.

관련성 및 기여도

답안이 질문에 답하고 토론에 의미 있게 기여하는가?

언어 사용

문법 정확성, 어휘 범위, 문장 구조의 질.

전개 및 근거

구체적인 예시와 명확한 논리로 아이디어가 잘 전개되었는가?

답안에서 나타나는 공통 패턴

이 과제에 대한 사용자 제출 답안을 분석한 결과, 학생 답안에서 관찰된 공통 패턴은 다음과 같습니다.

많은 학생이 명확한 의견을 제시하지만 구체적인 뒷받침 예시가 부족합니다.

높은 점수를 받은 답안은 리딩 지문과 다른 참여자의 의견을 직접 인용합니다.

점수가 높은 답안은 다양한 문장 구조와 학술적 어휘를 사용합니다.

시간 관리는 핵심 요소입니다 — 서두른 느낌을 주는 답안은 전개 항목에서 낮은 점수를 받는 경향이 있습니다.

학습 팁

1

글을 쓰기 전에 프롬프트를 꼼꼼히 읽고 질문의 모든 부분을 파악하세요.

2

답안에서 리딩 지문과 다른 학생들의 의견을 언급하세요.

3

핵심 주장을 뒷받침할 구체적인 예시를 사용하고, 일반적인 진술은 피하세요.

4

120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 답안이 길다고 항상 좋은 것은 아니며, 명료함과 초점이 더 중요합니다.

5

시험 조건에서 유창하게 답하기 위해 시간을 정해(10분) 연습하세요.

자주 묻는 질문

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제란 무엇인가요?
TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 온라인 수업 토론에 참여하는 것을 요구합니다. 교수의 질문과 다른 학생들의 답변을 읽은 후, 약 10분 안에 자신의 의견을 표현하고 뒷받침하는 글을 작성하게 됩니다.
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Academic Discussion 답변은 얼마나 길게 써야 하나요?
120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 이 과제는 답변을 작성할 10분의 시간을 제공합니다. 더 긴 답변을 쓰기보다는 명확성, 구체적인 예시로 의견을 뒷받침하는 것, 토론 맥락을 참조하는 것에 집중하세요.

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