TOEFL Writing Task 2 Sample: Some people think that secondary students should study international news as one of their subjects, but others believe that it is a waste of their valuable study time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 3

• Coherence and Cohesion: 3

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Score: 22

3.Task completeness The essay does a decent job of addressing the task by discussing both views and providing the writer's opinion. However, it could be improved by offering more balanced arguments for both sides and presenting clearer examples to support each view. Additionally, the essay should focus more on the impact of studying international news on secondary students' valuable study time.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more balanced arguments for both views.

• Include clearer examples to support each view.

• Focus on the impact of studying international news on students' valuable study time.

Examples in English:

1. "On one hand, studying international news can help students develop critical thinking skills and global awareness, which are essential in today's interconnected world. On the other hand, some argue that secondary students already have a heavy workload and adding another subject may lead to increased stress and decreased focus on core subjects."

2. "For instance, while learning about global conflicts or economic issues can broaden students' perspectives, spending too much time on these topics might take away from their ability to excel in subjects like math or science."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, it could be better organized by focusing each paragraph on a specific point with supporting details. Clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs should also be present.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Focus each paragraph on a specific point with supporting details.

• Use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Examples in English:

1. "In contrast to the benefits of studying international news, some critics argue that it may distract students from their core subjects. For example, dedicating too much time to understanding complex global issues might result in less time spent on mastering essential skills in mathematics or language arts."

2. "Moreover, while some students may find international news engaging and informative, others might struggle to see its relevance to their daily lives and educational goals. This could lead to a lack of motivation and interest in the subject, ultimately impacting their overall academic performance."

5. Grammar

Recently, the choice of courses for secondary school students has become a hot topic. Some students believe that international news can be used as a subject to broaden their horizons, but some students believe that this course is a waste of time. BasicBasic,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) on my view, (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))international journalism is a necessary discipline for secondary school students.

The advantage of adding international journalism courses that greatly improved the quality of education. In many high schools, international events have been widely popularized, for example, many schools have added courses and lectures on international education. For example, economics, business, and social practice. The establishment of these courses has given students a new knowledge and understanding of international news. Therefore, the teaching quality and knowledge level of students are gradually improving.

Of course, the downside of international journalism courses is that they can affect students' thinking patterns and even lead to crime. Due to the different laws in each country, students will receive a lot of different legal and criminal information, as their worldview is not yet mature, and their judgment on things is also immature, which may lead to crime. For example, there may be gray trading or political events in the course, and students may not value these erroneous behaviors and may imitate them. Therefore, students will encounter the legal bottom line.

In my opinion, the establishment of an international news course has more advantages than disadvantages. Firstly, the establishment of the course will arouse the interest of students and facilitate teaching. This is also a way to improve the quality of teaching to some extent. However, during the course, there may inevitably be sensitive topics, and teachers can choose to reduce the frequency of these topics and advocate for students to develop in the right direction without touching the legal red line. Therefore, in the process of learning, students can still maintain physical and mental health.

In summary, international courses should be included as a subject in secondary schools, which can greatly enhance students' interest in learning and also enhance international knowledge.

6.Revised Essay

In recent years, the selection of courses for secondary school students has become a widely debated topic. Some individuals argue that incorporating international news as a subject can broaden students' horizons, while others contend that it is an unnecessary addition to their already demanding schedules. In my opinion, international journalism is a valuable discipline for secondary school students.

On one hand, studying international news can help students develop critical thinking skills and global awareness, which are essential in today's interconnected world. By learning about various cultures, political systems, and global issues, students gain a deeper understanding of the complexities that shape our world. This knowledge not only enhances their intellectual development but also fosters empathy and tolerance towards diverse perspectives.

For instance, many high schools have introduced courses and lectures on international education topics such as economics, business, and social practices. The inclusion of these subjects has provided students with new insights and understanding of global affairs. As a result, the overall quality of education and the knowledge level of students have improved significantly.

On the other hand, some argue that secondary students already have a heavy workload and adding another subject may lead to increased stress and decreased focus on core subjects. They believe that dedicating too much time to understanding complex global issues might result in less time spent on mastering essential skills in mathematics or language arts.

Moreover, while some students may find international news engaging and informative, others might struggle to see its relevance to their daily lives and educational goals. This could lead to a lack of motivation and interest in the subject, ultimately impacting their overall academic performance.

Despite these concerns, I believe that the benefits of including an international news course outweigh its drawbacks. Firstly, such courses can stimulate students' curiosity and facilitate more effective teaching methods. This approach can enhance the quality of education to some extent. However, teachers should be mindful of sensitive topics during lessons; they can choose to reduce the frequency of these discussions while guiding students towards the right direction without crossing legal boundaries. In this way, students can maintain their physical and mental well-being throughout the learning process.

In contrast to the potential negative effects of studying international news, some critics argue that it may distract students from their core subjects. For example, dedicating too much time to understanding complex global issues might result in less time spent on mastering essential skills in mathematics or language arts. Moreover, while some students may find international news engaging and informative, others might struggle to see its relevance to their daily lives and educational goals. This could lead to a lack of motivation and interest in the subject, ultimately impacting their overall academic performance.

In conclusion, incorporating international news as a subject in secondary schools can significantly enhance students' interest in learning and improve their global knowledge. By carefully selecting course content and providing guidance on sensitive topics, educators can ensure that students reap the benefits of studying international news without compromising their focus on core subjects or personal well-being. As our world becomes increasingly interconnected, it is crucial for young minds to develop a comprehensive understanding of global affairs to navigate the complexities of modern society successfully.

Essay statistics: {"words": 454, "unique_words": 217} (546 words)

Recently, the choice 7.Essay Grading

In recent years, the selection of courses for secondary school students has become a hot widely debated topic. (This revision clarifies the context and emphasizes the significance of the issue.) Some students believe individuals argue that international news can be used incorporating international news as a subject to can broaden students' horizons, while others contend that it is an unnecessary addition to their horizons, but some students believe that this course is a waste of time. Basic on already demanding schedules. (This sentence provides a clear contrast between the two views.) In my view, opinion, international journalism is a necessary valuable discipline for secondary school students.

The advantage of adding international journalism courses On one hand, studying international news can help students develop critical thinking skills and global awareness, which are essential in today's interconnected world. (This sentence highlights the benefits of studying international news.) By learning about various cultures, political systems, and global issues, students gain a deeper understanding of the complexities that greatly improved the quality of education. In shape our world. (This phrase provides specific examples of what students can learn from international news.) This knowledge not only enhances their intellectual development but also fosters empathy and tolerance towards diverse perspectives.

For instance, many high schools, international events have been widely popularized, for example, many schools have added introduced courses and lectures on international education. For example, education topics such as economics, business, and social practice. practices. (This sentence offers concrete examples of subjects related to international news.) The establishment inclusion of these courses subjects has given students a provided students with new knowledge insights and understanding of international news. Therefore, the teaching global affairs. As a result, the overall quality and of education and the knowledge level of students are gradually improving. ¶ Of course, the downside of international journalism courses is have improved significantly.

On the other hand, some argue that they can affect students' thinking patterns and even lead to crime. Due to the different laws in each country, students will receive a lot of different legal and criminal information, as their worldview is not yet mature, and their judgment on things is also immature, which secondary students already have a heavy workload and adding another subject may lead to crime. For example, there increased stress and decreased focus on core subjects. (This sentence presents an opposing view.) They believe that dedicating too much time to understanding complex global issues might result in less time spent on mastering essential skills in mathematics or language arts.

Moreover, while some students may be gray trading or political events find international news engaging and informative, others might struggle to see its relevance to their daily lives and educational goals. (This sentence acknowledges different student perspectives.) This could lead to a lack of motivation and interest in the course, and students may not value subject, ultimately impacting their overall academic performance.

Despite these erroneous behaviors and may imitate them. Therefore, students will encounter the legal bottom line. ¶ In my opinion, the establishment of concerns, I believe that the benefits of including an international news course has outweigh its drawbacks. (This sentence reinforces the writer's opinion.) Firstly, such courses can stimulate students' curiosity and facilitate more advantages than disadvantages. Firstly, the establishment of the course will arouse the interest of students and facilitate teaching. This is also a way to improve effective teaching methods. (This phrase highlights a specific advantage of international news courses.) This approach can enhance the quality of teaching education to some extent. However, teachers should be mindful of sensitive topics during the course, there may inevitably be sensitive topics, and teachers lessons; they can choose to reduce the frequency of these topics and advocate for students to develop in discussions while guiding students towards the right direction without touching the crossing legal red line. Therefore, in the process of learning, students can still boundaries. (This sentence offers a solution to potential issues.) In this way, students can maintain their physical and mental health. well-being throughout the learning process.

In summary, international courses should be included conclusion, incorporating international news as a subject in secondary schools, which can greatly schools can significantly enhance students' interest in learning and also enhance international knowledge.improve their global knowledge. (This sentence restates the main argument.) By carefully selecting course content and providing guidance on sensitive topics, educators can ensure that students reap the benefits of studying international news without compromising their focus on core subjects or personal well-being. (This sentence summarizes the essay's main points.) As our world becomes increasingly interconnected, it is crucial for young minds to develop a comprehensive understanding of global affairs to navigate the complexities of modern society successfully. (This final sentence emphasizes the importance of studying international news in today's world.)

Essay statistics: {"words": 454, "unique_words": 217}

8.Mind Map

• Thesis statement: International journalism is a valuable discipline for secondary school students.

  • Topic sentence 1: Studying international news develops critical thinking skills and global awareness.
    • Sub-topic: Learning about various cultures, political systems, and global issues.
    • Supporting example: High schools introducing courses on international education topics.
  • Topic sentence 2: Some argue that adding international news may lead to increased stress and decreased focus on core subjects.
    • Sub-topic: Balancing workload and time spent on essential skills in mathematics or language arts.
    • Supporting example: Different student perspectives on the relevance of international news to their daily lives and educational goals.
  • Topic sentence 3: Benefits of including an international news course outweigh its drawbacks.
    • Sub-topic: Stimulating students' curiosity and facilitating more effective teaching methods.
    • Supporting example: Teachers being mindful of sensitive topics during lessons and guiding students towards the right direction without crossing legal boundaries.

• Conclusion: Incorporating international news as a subject in secondary schools enhances students' interest in learning, improves their global knowledge, and prepares them for navigating the complexities of modern society.

9.Key Words

10.Additional Examples

1. Studying international news can help students identify biases and misinformation in media, promoting media literacy and critical thinking skills.

2. Exposure to international news encourages students to engage in discussions and debates, fostering their communication skills and ability to articulate their opinions.

3. Understanding global environmental issues through international news can inspire students to become more environmentally conscious and participate in initiatives that promote sustainability.

4. Learning about global health crises, such as pandemics, through international news can increase students' awareness of public health issues and the importance of global cooperation in addressing them.

5. Studying international news allows students to explore career opportunities in fields such as diplomacy, journalism, or international relations, broadening their horizons for future endeavors.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay does a good job of addressing the task requirements by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of providing more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a clearer and more concise writing style.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments.

• Avoid repeating phrases or ideas.

• Use a more concise writing style.

Examples:

1. Instead of saying "An array of people claim that middle school students are supposed to be well-informed about international news," you could say "Many people believe that it is important for middle school students to stay informed about international news."

2. When discussing the opposing view, provide a specific example or statistic that demonstrates how focusing on academic subjects can lead to better outcomes for students.

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of organization and transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

• Ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea with supporting details.

• Revise the conclusion to provide a stronger summary of your main points.

Examples:

1. To improve transitions between ideas, you could use phrases like "On the other hand" or "In contrast" when introducing opposing views.

2. In the conclusion, instead of saying "both two arguments have their validities," you could say "While both arguments have merit, finding a balance between staying informed about international news and focusing on academic subjects is crucial for secondary students' success."

5. Grammar

Nowadays, we are surrounded by various news both at home and abroad. However, whether secondary students are supposed to take international news as one of their compulsory courses has aroused hot discussion. This essay is going to analyze both two sides and deliver a conclusion.

An array of people claim that middle school students are supposed to be well-informed about international news. There are some validitiesvalidates(misspelling) regarding this argument. It is universally acknowledged that people have access to the globalized world. Receiving news every day, particularly international news, helps people make informed decisions both on a daily basis and on financial investment. The secondary students are not an exception. With the prevalence of international education and the globalized world, middle school students are more likely to communicate with people from different cultures and navigate through foreign environments. Therefore, middle school learners can be equipped with the latest political, economic, and even educational facts by catching up with international news, making wiser choices when it comes to their education and deeper understanding, and becoming more inclusive to various cultures. For example, when I was a secondary school student, I often read international news by accessing Facebook, and YouTube. After being exposed to a wide range of educational news and resources, I could easily figure out what kinds of education I would like to pursue and how to achieve my desired way of education. I can comprehensively evaluate certain education issues from various perspectives. The cost and quality of higher education

Opponents might argue that secondary students are supposed to focus solely on their academic subjects instead of catching up on international news which is not relevant to their academic studies, leading to time consumption. Well, there is also some truth regarding this argument. With limited life experiences and knowledge, most middle school learners haven't been equipped with enough facts to justify and evaluate the news, not to mention international news with more complex and sophisticated political and economic issues. For example, according to research conducted by a news agency in China, 60% of middle school students cannot even name exactly the conflicts between Hamas and Israel. They even don’t know the origin of the country IsraelIsrael,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) and the subjects who received interviews even don’t know the relationship between Hamas and Palestine. So, with limited life experience and knowledge, middle school students might not grasp the news properly, leading to time waste.

Well, according to my understanding, the school should strike a balance between catching up with the international news and their academic studies. I firmly hold that with finite time and energy, middle schools should always prioritize academics over the course of reading international news. In order to balance the two sides, there are several approaches that could be tried. For example, making some relevant international news, like education, economics, and politics, as their secondary options instead of compulsory ones. Therefore, middle school students can still maintain their academic studies as well as be well-informed by the current international news. Here another solution could be applied to balance the two sides. Taking global news as an interdisciplinary course lets middle students follow those who study the relevant courses, like international business, and international politics. In conclusion, both two arguments have their validitiesvalidates(misspelling), and how to balance those two is[No Replacement Word Found](Singular verb after 'these' or 'those') the most significant thing that should be considered.

6.Revised Essay

In today's interconnected world, the debate over whether secondary students should study international news as a subject has gained significant attention. This essay will discuss both perspectives and provide a personal opinion on the matter.

Many individuals argue that it is crucial for middle school students to stay informed about international news. This viewpoint has several merits. Firstly, as globalization continues to shape our lives, being knowledgeable about global events can help students make informed decisions in various aspects of their lives, including education and financial investments. Moreover, with the increasing prevalence of international education, secondary students are more likely to interact with people from diverse cultural backgrounds and navigate foreign environments. By staying updated on international news, they can develop a deeper understanding of different cultures and global issues. For instance, when I was in middle school, I frequently accessed international news through Facebook and YouTube. Exposure to diverse educational resources allowed me to make well-informed decisions about my educational path and fostered my ability to evaluate issues from multiple perspectives.

On the other hand, some argue that secondary students should prioritize their academic subjects over following international news, as it may consume valuable study time. This argument also holds some truth. Due to their limited life experiences and knowledge base, many middle school students may lack the necessary context to fully comprehend complex political and economic issues presented in international news stories. For example, a study conducted by a Chinese news agency found that 60% of middle school students could not accurately identify the conflicts between Hamas and Israel or understand the historical origins of these tensions. Consequently, attempting to grasp such intricate topics could lead to wasted time for these young learners.

In my opinion, schools should strive for a balance between exposing students to international news and ensuring they focus on their academic studies. While academics should remain the priority for secondary students given their finite time and energy resources, there are several approaches that could help strike this balance effectively. One possible solution is offering relevant international news topics, such as education, economics, and politics, as elective courses rather than mandatory ones. This way, students can maintain their academic focus while still having the opportunity to stay informed about global events. Another option is integrating global news into interdisciplinary courses that align with students' existing interests, such as international business or politics.

In conclusion, both arguments have merit; however, finding a balance between staying informed about international news and focusing on academic subjects is essential for secondary students' success. By offering elective courses or incorporating global news into interdisciplinary subjects, schools can ensure that students develop a well-rounded understanding of the world while maintaining their academic progress. (454 words)

Nowadays, we are surrounded by various news both at home and abroad. However, 7.Essay Grading

In today's interconnected world, the debate over whether secondary students are supposed to take should study international news as one of their compulsory courses a subject has aroused hot discussion. gained significant attention. (This revision provides a more concise and formal introduction to the topic.) This essay will discuss both perspectives and provide a personal opinion on the matter.

Many individuals argue that it is going to analyze both two sides and deliver a conclusion. ¶ An array of people claim that crucial for middle school students are supposed to be well-informed to stay informed about international news. There are some validities regarding this argument. It is universally acknowledged that people have access to the globalized world. Receiving news every day, particularly international news, helps people (This revision simplifies the sentence while maintaining its meaning.) This viewpoint has several merits. Firstly, as globalization continues to shape our lives, being knowledgeable about global events can help students make informed decisions both on a daily basis and on in various aspects of their lives, including education and financial investment. The investments. Moreover, with the increasing prevalence of international education, secondary students are not an exception. With the prevalence of international education and the globalized world, middle school students are more likely to communicate interact with people from diverse cultural backgrounds and navigate foreign environments. By staying updated on international news, they can develop a deeper understanding of different cultures and navigate through foreign environments. Therefore, middle school learners can be equipped with the latest political, economic, and even educational facts by catching up with international news, making wiser choices when it comes to their education and deeper understanding, and becoming more inclusive to various cultures. global issues. For example, instance, when I was a secondary school student, in middle school, I often read international news by accessing Facebook, frequently accessed international news through Facebook and YouTube. After being exposed to a wide range of Exposure to diverse educational news and resources, I could easily figure out what kinds of education I would like to pursue and how to achieve resources allowed me to make well-informed decisions about my desired way of education. I can comprehensively educational path and fostered my ability to evaluate certain education issues from various multiple perspectives. The cost and quality of higher education

Opponents might On the other hand, some argue that secondary students are supposed to focus solely on should prioritize their academic subjects instead of catching up on international news which is not relevant to their academic studies, leading to time consumption. Well, there is over following international news, as it may consume valuable study time. (This revision clarifies the opposing view.) This argument also holds some truth regarding this argument. With truth. Due to their limited life experiences and knowledge, most knowledge base, many middle school learners haven't been equipped with enough facts to justify and evaluate the news, not to mention international news with more students may lack the necessary context to fully comprehend complex and sophisticated political and economic issues. issues presented in international news stories. For example, according to research a study conducted by a Chinese news agency in China, found that 60% of middle school students cannot even name exactly could not accurately identify the conflicts between Hamas and Israel. They even don’t know the origin of the country Israel and the subjects who received interviews even don’t know the relationship between Hamas and Palestine. So, with limited life experience and knowledge, middle school students might not or understand the historical origins of these tensions. Consequently, attempting to grasp the news properly, leading to such intricate topics could lead to wasted time waste. for these young learners.

Well, according to In my understanding, the school opinion, schools should strike strive for a balance between catching up with the international news and exposing students to international news and ensuring they focus on their academic studies. I firmly hold that with (This revision provides a clear statement of the writer's opinion.) While academics should remain the priority for secondary students given their finite time and energy, middle schools should always prioritize academics over the course of reading international news. In order to balance the two sides, energy resources, there are several approaches that could be tried. For example, making some help strike this balance effectively. One possible solution is offering relevant international news, like news topics, such as education, economics, and politics, as their secondary options instead of compulsory elective courses rather than mandatory ones. Therefore, middle school This way, students can maintain their academic focus while still maintain their academic studies having the opportunity to stay informed about global events. Another option is integrating global news into interdisciplinary courses that align with students' existing interests, such as well as be well-informed by the current international news. Here another solution could be applied to balance the two sides. Taking global news as an interdisciplinary course lets middle students follow those who study the relevant courses, like international business, and international international business or politics.

In conclusion, both two arguments have their validities, and how to merit; however, finding a balance those two between staying informed about international news and focusing on academic subjects is the most significant thing essential for secondary students' success. (This revision provides a stronger summary of the main points.) By offering elective courses or incorporating global news into interdisciplinary subjects, schools can ensure that should be considered.students develop a well-rounded understanding of the world while maintaining their academic progress.

8.Mind Map

• Thesis statement: Balancing international news exposure and academic focus for secondary students.
  • Topic sentence 1: Importance of staying informed about international news.
    • Sub-topic: Globalization's impact on decision-making.
      • Supporting example: Education and financial investments.
    • Sub-topic: Interaction with diverse cultures.
      • Supporting example: International education experiences.
  • Topic sentence 2: Prioritizing academic subjects over international news.
    • Sub-topic: Limited life experiences and knowledge base.
      • Supporting example: Difficulty comprehending complex political and economic issues.
    • Sub-topic: Time consumption and potential waste of resources.
      • Supporting example: Study on middle school students' understanding of global conflicts.
  • Conclusion: Finding a balance through elective courses or interdisciplinary subjects.

9.Key Words

10.Additional Examples

1. Example: Encouraging secondary students to participate in Model United Nations conferences.

   • Sub-opinion: Enhances global awareness and critical thinking skills.
   • Explanation: Students research and debate international issues, improving their understanding of global affairs.

2. Example: Incorporating current events discussions into the classroom.

   • Sub-opinion: Provides an opportunity for students to engage with international news without sacrificing academic focus.
   • Explanation: Teachers can use relevant news stories to supplement lessons and encourage informed discussions.

3. Example: Establishing international exchange programs for secondary students.

   • Sub-opinion: Offers firsthand exposure to different cultures and global issues.
   • Explanation: Students can gain valuable insights and experiences while maintaining their academic progress.

4. Example: Providing access to reputable news sources in school libraries or online platforms.

   • Sub-opinion: Encourages independent exploration of international news without making it a mandatory subject.
   • Explanation: Students can choose to engage with global news at their own pace, based on their interests and needs.

5. Example: Collaborating with schools in other countries on joint projects or activities.

   • Sub-opinion: Fosters cross-cultural understanding and global awareness among students.
   • Explanation: Working together on shared goals allows students to learn from each other's perspectives and experiences.