TOEFL TPO -1 Writing Task 2 Sample: Some people think that secondary students should study international news as one of their subjects, but others believe that it is a waste of their valuable study time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 3

• Coherence and Cohesion: 3

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Score: 22

3.Task completeness The essay does a decent job of addressing the task by discussing both views and providing the writer's opinion. However, it could be improved by offering more balanced arguments for both sides and presenting clearer examples to support each view. Additionally, the essay should focus more on the impact of studying international news on secondary students' valuable study time.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more balanced arguments for both views.

• Include clearer examples to support each view.

• Focus on the impact of studying international news on students' valuable study time.

Examples in English:

1. "On one hand, studying international news can help students develop critical thinking skills and global awareness, which are essential in today's interconnected world. On the other hand, some argue that secondary students already have a heavy workload and adding another subject may lead to increased stress and decreased focus on core subjects."

2. "For instance, while learning about global conflicts or economic issues can broaden students' perspectives, spending too much time on these topics might take away from their ability to excel in subjects like math or science."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, it could be better organized by focusing each paragraph on a specific point with supporting details. Clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs should also be present.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Focus each paragraph on a specific point with supporting details.

• Use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Examples in English:

1. "In contrast to the benefits of studying international news, some critics argue that it may distract students from their core subjects. For example, dedicating too much time to understanding complex global issues might result in less time spent on mastering essential skills in mathematics or language arts."

2. "Moreover, while some students may find international news engaging and informative, others might struggle to see its relevance to their daily lives and educational goals. This could lead to a lack of motivation and interest in the subject, ultimately impacting their overall academic performance."

5. Grammar

Recently, the choice of courses for secondary school students has become a hot topic. Some students believe that international news can be used as a subject to broaden their horizons, but some students believe that this course is a waste of time. BasicBasic,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) on my view, (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))international journalism is a necessary discipline for secondary school students.

The advantage of adding international journalism courses that greatly improved the quality of education. In many high schools, international events have been widely popularized, for example, many schools have added courses and lectures on international education. For example, economics, business, and social practice. The establishment of these courses has given students a new knowledge and understanding of international news. Therefore, the teaching quality and knowledge level of students are gradually improving.

Of course, the downside of international journalism courses is that they can affect students' thinking patterns and even lead to crime. Due to the different laws in each country, students will receive a lot of different legal and criminal information, as their worldview is not yet mature, and their judgment on things is also immature, which may lead to crime. For example, there may be gray trading or political events in the course, and students may not value these erroneous behaviors and may imitate them. Therefore, students will encounter the legal bottom line.

In my opinion, the establishment of an international news course has more advantages than disadvantages. Firstly, the establishment of the course will arouse the interest of students and facilitate teaching. This is also a way to improve the quality of teaching to some extent. However, during the course, there may inevitably be sensitive topics, and teachers can choose to reduce the frequency of these topics and advocate for students to develop in the right direction without touching the legal red line. Therefore, in the process of learning, students can still maintain physical and mental health.

In summary, international courses should be included as a subject in secondary schools, which can greatly enhance students' interest in learning and also enhance international knowledge.

6.Revised Essay

In recent years, the selection of courses for secondary school students has become a widely debated topic. Some individuals argue that incorporating international news as a subject can broaden students' horizons, while others contend that it is an unnecessary addition to their already demanding schedules. In my opinion, international journalism is a valuable discipline for secondary school students.

On one hand, studying international news can help students develop critical thinking skills and global awareness, which are essential in today's interconnected world. By learning about various cultures, political systems, and global issues, students gain a deeper understanding of the complexities that shape our world. This knowledge not only enhances their intellectual development but also fosters empathy and tolerance towards diverse perspectives.

For instance, many high schools have introduced courses and lectures on international education topics such as economics, business, and social practices. The inclusion of these subjects has provided students with new insights and understanding of global affairs. As a result, the overall quality of education and the knowledge level of students have improved significantly.

On the other hand, some argue that secondary students already have a heavy workload and adding another subject may lead to increased stress and decreased focus on core subjects. They believe that dedicating too much time to understanding complex global issues might result in less time spent on mastering essential skills in mathematics or language arts.

Moreover, while some students may find international news engaging and informative, others might struggle to see its relevance to their daily lives and educational goals. This could lead to a lack of motivation and interest in the subject, ultimately impacting their overall academic performance.

Despite these concerns, I believe that the benefits of including an international news course outweigh its drawbacks. Firstly, such courses can stimulate students' curiosity and facilitate more effective teaching methods. This approach can enhance the quality of education to some extent. However, teachers should be mindful of sensitive topics during lessons; they can choose to reduce the frequency of these discussions while guiding students towards the right direction without crossing legal boundaries. In this way, students can maintain their physical and mental well-being throughout the learning process.

In contrast to the potential negative effects of studying international news, some critics argue that it may distract students from their core subjects. For example, dedicating too much time to understanding complex global issues might result in less time spent on mastering essential skills in mathematics or language arts. Moreover, while some students may find international news engaging and informative, others might struggle to see its relevance to their daily lives and educational goals. This could lead to a lack of motivation and interest in the subject, ultimately impacting their overall academic performance.

In conclusion, incorporating international news as a subject in secondary schools can significantly enhance students' interest in learning and improve their global knowledge. By carefully selecting course content and providing guidance on sensitive topics, educators can ensure that students reap the benefits of studying international news without compromising their focus on core subjects or personal well-being. As our world becomes increasingly interconnected, it is crucial for young minds to develop a comprehensive understanding of global affairs to navigate the complexities of modern society successfully.

Essay statistics: {"words": 454, "unique_words": 217} (546 words)

Recently, the choice 7.Essay Grading

In recent years, the selection of courses for secondary school students has become a hot widely debated topic. (This revision clarifies the context and emphasizes the significance of the issue.) Some students believe individuals argue that international news can be used incorporating international news as a subject to can broaden students' horizons, while others contend that it is an unnecessary addition to their horizons, but some students believe that this course is a waste of time. Basic on already demanding schedules. (This sentence provides a clear contrast between the two views.) In my view, opinion, international journalism is a necessary valuable discipline for secondary school students.

The advantage of adding international journalism courses On one hand, studying international news can help students develop critical thinking skills and global awareness, which are essential in today's interconnected world. (This sentence highlights the benefits of studying international news.) By learning about various cultures, political systems, and global issues, students gain a deeper understanding of the complexities that greatly improved the quality of education. In shape our world. (This phrase provides specific examples of what students can learn from international news.) This knowledge not only enhances their intellectual development but also fosters empathy and tolerance towards diverse perspectives.

For instance, many high schools, international events have been widely popularized, for example, many schools have added introduced courses and lectures on international education. For example, education topics such as economics, business, and social practice. practices. (This sentence offers concrete examples of subjects related to international news.) The establishment inclusion of these courses subjects has given students a provided students with new knowledge insights and understanding of international news. Therefore, the teaching global affairs. As a result, the overall quality and of education and the knowledge level of students are gradually improving. ¶ Of course, the downside of international journalism courses is have improved significantly.

On the other hand, some argue that they can affect students' thinking patterns and even lead to crime. Due to the different laws in each country, students will receive a lot of different legal and criminal information, as their worldview is not yet mature, and their judgment on things is also immature, which secondary students already have a heavy workload and adding another subject may lead to crime. For example, there increased stress and decreased focus on core subjects. (This sentence presents an opposing view.) They believe that dedicating too much time to understanding complex global issues might result in less time spent on mastering essential skills in mathematics or language arts.

Moreover, while some students may be gray trading or political events find international news engaging and informative, others might struggle to see its relevance to their daily lives and educational goals. (This sentence acknowledges different student perspectives.) This could lead to a lack of motivation and interest in the course, and students may not value subject, ultimately impacting their overall academic performance.

Despite these erroneous behaviors and may imitate them. Therefore, students will encounter the legal bottom line. ¶ In my opinion, the establishment of concerns, I believe that the benefits of including an international news course has outweigh its drawbacks. (This sentence reinforces the writer's opinion.) Firstly, such courses can stimulate students' curiosity and facilitate more advantages than disadvantages. Firstly, the establishment of the course will arouse the interest of students and facilitate teaching. This is also a way to improve effective teaching methods. (This phrase highlights a specific advantage of international news courses.) This approach can enhance the quality of teaching education to some extent. However, teachers should be mindful of sensitive topics during the course, there may inevitably be sensitive topics, and teachers lessons; they can choose to reduce the frequency of these topics and advocate for students to develop in discussions while guiding students towards the right direction without touching the crossing legal red line. Therefore, in the process of learning, students can still boundaries. (This sentence offers a solution to potential issues.) In this way, students can maintain their physical and mental health. well-being throughout the learning process.

In summary, international courses should be included conclusion, incorporating international news as a subject in secondary schools, which can greatly schools can significantly enhance students' interest in learning and also enhance international knowledge.improve their global knowledge. (This sentence restates the main argument.) By carefully selecting course content and providing guidance on sensitive topics, educators can ensure that students reap the benefits of studying international news without compromising their focus on core subjects or personal well-being. (This sentence summarizes the essay's main points.) As our world becomes increasingly interconnected, it is crucial for young minds to develop a comprehensive understanding of global affairs to navigate the complexities of modern society successfully. (This final sentence emphasizes the importance of studying international news in today's world.)

Essay statistics: {"words": 454, "unique_words": 217}

8.Mind Map

• Thesis statement: International journalism is a valuable discipline for secondary school students.

  • Topic sentence 1: Studying international news develops critical thinking skills and global awareness.
    • Sub-topic: Learning about various cultures, political systems, and global issues.
    • Supporting example: High schools introducing courses on international education topics.
  • Topic sentence 2: Some argue that adding international news may lead to increased stress and decreased focus on core subjects.
    • Sub-topic: Balancing workload and time spent on essential skills in mathematics or language arts.
    • Supporting example: Different student perspectives on the relevance of international news to their daily lives and educational goals.
  • Topic sentence 3: Benefits of including an international news course outweigh its drawbacks.
    • Sub-topic: Stimulating students' curiosity and facilitating more effective teaching methods.
    • Supporting example: Teachers being mindful of sensitive topics during lessons and guiding students towards the right direction without crossing legal boundaries.

• Conclusion: Incorporating international news as a subject in secondary schools enhances students' interest in learning, improves their global knowledge, and prepares them for navigating the complexities of modern society.

9.Key Words

10.Additional Examples

1. Studying international news can help students identify biases and misinformation in media, promoting media literacy and critical thinking skills.

2. Exposure to international news encourages students to engage in discussions and debates, fostering their communication skills and ability to articulate their opinions.

3. Understanding global environmental issues through international news can inspire students to become more environmentally conscious and participate in initiatives that promote sustainability.

4. Learning about global health crises, such as pandemics, through international news can increase students' awareness of public health issues and the importance of global cooperation in addressing them.

5. Studying international news allows students to explore career opportunities in fields such as diplomacy, journalism, or international relations, broadening their horizons for future endeavors.