TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Instructions Your professor is teaching a class on economics. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 2.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 2.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.0

2. 预估分数

17. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面有待提高。首先，文章的字数不足100字，没有达到要求。其次，文章中的观点和论据较为简单，需要更多的细节和例子来支持。建议同学在写作时尽量多展开一些观点，并给出具体的例子来支持。

改进示例1: Instead of "If the price of the gasoline is high, people will drive electronic car or public, which will reduce the production of greenhouse gases.", you can write "If the price of gasoline is high, people might be more inclined to use electric cars or public transportation, thus reducing greenhouse gas emissions."

改进示例2: You can add another supporting point, such as "Additionally, artificially keeping fuel prices low might discourage investment in alternative energy sources, hindering the development of cleaner technologies."

4. 文章结构与组织

从文章结构和组织方面来看，这篇文章还有很大的提升空间。首先，文章缺乏明确的引言、主体和结论部分。其次，在段落之间缺乏明确的过渡。建议同学在写作时注意使用恰当的过渡词汇，并将观点和论据进行合理安排。

改进示例1: You can start your essay with an introduction, such as "In response to the professor's question, I believe that governments should not actively keep fuel prices low for consumers due to environmental concerns."

改进示例2: For a better transition between ideas, you can write "On one hand, high gasoline prices encourage people to use more environmentally friendly transportation options. On the other hand, keeping fuel prices low might have negative consequences on the development of alternative energy sources."

5. 语法批改

I think government should not keep prices in a low price. First, The using of gasoline will produce lots of green house gases. If the price of the gasoline is high, people will drive electronic car or public, which will reduce the production of greenhouse gases.

Title: 6 文章修订

In my opinion, governments should not actively intervene to maintain low fuel prices. Primarily, the consumption of gasoline contributes significantly to greenhouse gas emissions. By keeping fuel prices high, individuals may be encouraged to opt for alternative transportation methods, such as electric vehicles or public transit systems. This shift in behavior could ultimately lead to a reduction in greenhouse gas production and promote a more sustainable future. (70 words)

I think government In my opinion, governments should not keep actively intervene (revised for clarity and formality) to maintain low fuel prices in a low price. First, The using (rephrased for clarity). Primarily, the consumption of gasoline will produce lots of green house gases. If contributes significantly (added "significantly" for emphasis) to greenhouse gas emissions. By keeping fuel prices high, individuals may be encouraged (changed "will" to "may be" for a more cautious tone) to opt for alternative transportation methods (rephrased for clarity), such as electric vehicles or public transit systems. This shift in behavior could ultimately lead to a reduction in greenhouse gas production and promote a more sustainable future (added "and promote a more sustainable future" to emphasize the price of the gasoline is high, people will drive electronic car or public, which will reduce the production of greenhouse gases.positive outcome).

8 思维导图

- Introduction
    - Governments and fuel prices
    - Personal opinion: against intervention

- Argument 1: Environmental impact
    - Greenhouse gas emissions
    - High fuel prices encourage alternative transportation

- Argument 2: Sustainable future
    - Electric vehicles and public transit systems
    - Reduction in greenhouse gas production

- Conclusion
    - Importance of promoting sustainability over low fuel prices

9 关键词