TOEFL TPO 19 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，文章较好地完成了任务要求，对阅读和听力中的观点进行了总结和对比。但在具体表述时，有些地方可以更加明确和准确。例如，在论述听力中挑战阅读观点的部分，可以更具体地说明听力中的例子是如何反驳阅读观点的。

改进建议：

1. 在提到听力中的观点时，尽量使用更具体、详细的例子来说明。

2. 在论述过程中注意保持清晰、准确的表达。

示例：

1. Instead of "the lecturer indicates that people who promote a product are exactly the people who have used the product and had a high evaluation on it", you can write "the lecturer explains that buzzers are chosen because they genuinely believe in the quality of the product they are promoting, and their opinions are based on their personal experience with the product."

2. Instead of "he claims that only people have good experience will be willing to introduce the product to others", you can write "he argues that if a product is truly bad, it would be difficult for companies to find buzzers who genuinely believe in its quality, thus ensuring that buzzed products are likely to be good."

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构基本清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。但在段落组织和衔接方面，可以进一步改进。例如，可以在每个段落的开头明确提出要讨论的观点，并在段落之间使用更清晰的过渡词或短语。

改进建议：

1. 在每个段落开头明确提出要讨论的观点。

2. 使用过渡词或短语来连接不同的段落和观点。

示例：

1. Instead of "As opposed to the writer's first idea that cosumers do not know whether a person prasing some products is being paid or not, which may mislead the cosumers", you can write "Firstly, the lecturer challenges the reading's claim that consumers may be misled by buzzers who are paid to promote products."

2. Instead of "After that, the lecturer proceeds to challenge the writer's second argument", you can write "Secondly, in contrast to the reading's argument that consumers are often cheated by buzzers, the lecturer asserts that..."

3. 语法批改

Both the passage and the listening are engaging in a discussion regarding the controversy of buzzing, a phenomenon that advertisers hire buzzers to promote their products to others. The writer proposes three problems caused by buzzing, and hold the firm perspective that buzzing should be banned, the lecturer who holds the opposite opinion, however, states that each of the three problems is incorrect.

As opposed to the writer's first idea that cosumersconsumers(misspelling) do not know whether a person prasingpraising(misspelling) some products is being paid or not, which may mislead the cosumersconsumers(misspelling), the lecturer indicates that people who promote a product are exactly the people who have used the product and had a high evaluation on it. In detail, he argues that people who thinksthink(Agreement of relative pronoun 'who' and verb) the product he uses is good so, so(comma between independent clauses) he is choosedchose(choosed (chose)) by the company to tell some truth.

After that, the lecturer proceeds to challenge the writer's second argument that consumers are often cheated by the buzzers, by examining that acutuallyactually(misspelling), consumers are more cautious about them. To be specific, he says that they will ask you plenty of question about the product; and if the buzzer can not answer the question or give the wrong answer, then they will not be interested in it.

Finally, it is the writer's third assumption that the existence of buzzing will spread the mistrust and dishonstydishonesty(misspelling) among the sociatysociety(misspelling), which is contrasted by the lecturer that if a product is not good, they can not recruit any buzzers. He claims that only people have good experience will be willing to introduce the product to others, thus leading a better experience to others, which, in fact, can contribute to a more trustful sociatysociety(misspelling).

6.文章修订

Both the passage and the listening discuss the controversy surrounding buzzing, a marketing strategy in which advertisers hire buzzers to promote their products to others. The author presents three problems caused by buzzing and argues that it should be banned. In contrast, the lecturer disputes each of these points, asserting that they are inaccurate.

Firstly, the lecturer challenges the reading's claim that consumers may be misled by buzzers who are paid to promote products. He explains that buzzers are chosen because they genuinely believe in the quality of the product they are promoting, and their opinions are based on their personal experience with the product. This differs from traditional advertising where actors are paid to read scripted lines. Although buzzers receive compensation for sharing their opinions, they still provide truthful information about their experiences with the product.

Secondly, in contrast to the reading's argument that consumers are often deceived by buzzers, the lecturer asserts that people actually approach them with caution. He elaborates on this point by stating that consumers tend to ask numerous questions about a product when interacting with a buzzer. If a buzzer cannot provide satisfactory answers or appears untruthful, consumers will likely lose interest in purchasing the product.

Lastly, while the author posits that buzzing could spread mistrust and dishonesty within society, the lecturer contends that only products with positive user experiences can successfully recruit buzzers. He argues that if a product is truly inferior, it would be difficult for companies to find individuals who genuinely believe in its quality. As a result, buzzed products are more likely to be well-received by consumers who try them out based on recommendations from buzzers. This positive experience could ultimately lead to increased trust and openness among people in society. (292 words)

7.文章批改

Both the passage and the listening are engaging in a discussion regarding discuss the controversy of surrounding buzzing, a phenomenon that marketing strategy in which advertisers hire buzzers to promote their products to others. (clarified the subject) The writer proposes author presents three problems caused by buzzing, and hold the firm perspective that buzzing and argues that it should be banned, banned. In contrast, the lecturer who holds the opposite opinion, however, states that disputes each of the three problems is incorrect. these points, asserting that they are inaccurate. (improved coherence)

As opposed to the writer's first idea that cosumers do not know whether a person prasing some Firstly, the lecturer challenges the reading's claim that consumers may be misled by buzzers who are paid to promote products. He explains that buzzers are chosen because they genuinely believe in the quality of the product they are promoting, and their opinions are based on their personal experience with the product. (revised for clarity and accuracy) This differs from traditional advertising where actors are paid to read scripted lines. Although buzzers receive compensation for sharing their opinions, they still provide truthful information about their experiences with the product. (enhanced vocabulary)

Secondly, in contrast to the reading's argument that consumers are often deceived by buzzers, the lecturer asserts that people actually approach them with caution. (improved transition) He elaborates on this point by stating that consumers tend to ask numerous questions about a product when interacting with a buzzer. If a buzzer cannot provide satisfactory answers or appears untruthful, consumers will likely lose interest in purchasing the product. (corrected grammar and sentence structure)

Lastly, while the author posits that buzzing could spread mistrust and dishonesty within society, the lecturer contends that only products is being paid or not, which may mislead the cosumers, the lecturer indicates that people who promote a product are exactly the people who have used the product and had a high evaluation on it. In detail, he with positive user experiences can successfully recruit buzzers. (enhanced vocabulary) He argues that people who thinks the product he uses is good so he is choosed by the company to tell some truth. ¶ After that, the lecturer proceeds to challenge the writer's second argument that consumers are often cheated by the buzzers, by examining that acutually, consumers are more cautious about them. To be specific, he says that they will ask you plenty of question about the product; and if the buzzer can not answer the question or give the wrong answer, then they will not be interested in it. ¶ Finally, it is the writer's third assumption that the existence of buzzing will spread the mistrust and dishonsty among the sociaty, which is contrasted by the lecturer that if a product is not good, they can not recruit any truly inferior, it would be difficult for companies to find individuals who genuinely believe in its quality. As a result, buzzed products are more likely to be well-received by consumers who try them out based on recommendations from buzzers. He claims that only This positive experience could ultimately lead to increased trust and openness among people have good experience will be willing to introduce the product to others, thus leading a better experience to others, which, in fact, can contribute to a more trustful sociaty.in society. (improved coherence and flow)

8.思维导图

- Introduction
  - Controversy surrounding buzzing
  - Author's problems with buzzing
  - Lecturer's counterarguments

- First Point
  - Reading: Consumers may be misled by buzzers
  - Lecture: Buzzers provide truthful information based on personal experience

- Second Point
  - Reading: Consumers are often deceived by buzzers
  - Lecture: People approach buzzers with caution and ask questions

- Third Point
  - Reading: Buzzing could spread mistrust and dishonesty in society
  - Lecture: Positive user experiences lead to successful recruitment of buzzers and increased trust in society

9.关键词

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：4 连贯与衔接：4 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，你的文章在任务完成度方面表现不错，基本上涵盖了阅读和听力材料中的主要观点。但是，有一些建议可以帮助你进一步提高：

1. 阅读和听力材料中的观点对比更加明确。例如，在描述buzzing的优缺点时，可以使用“阅读材料认为……而听力材料则认为……”这样的表达方式。

2. 在引用听力材料中的例子时，尽量保持简洁明了。例如，在描述男士作为buzzer的经历时，可以简化为“男士作为一个兼职buzzer，真诚地推荐他认为很好的电话服务。”

改进示例：

1. 原文：“The author and man have contrasting views on whether this approach to promoting a product is trustworthy or not.” 改进后：“The reading passage argues that buzzing is misleading and harmful, while the lecture challenges these points by providing counterarguments.”

2. 原文：“For instance, the man who has been a part-time buzzer is indeed thinking phone service he is promoting is very good.” 改进后：“For example, the speaker, who works as a part-time buzzer, genuinely believes that the phone service he promotes is excellent.”

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构和组织方面表现良好，有明确的引言、主体和结论。然而，以下建议可以帮助你进一步改进：

1. 在引言部分简要介绍阅读和听力材料的主题，以便为读者提供背景信息。

2. 在段落之间使用更多的过渡词汇，以提高文章的连贯性。

改进示例：

1. 原文：“The author and man have contrasting views on whether this approach to promoting a product is trustworthy or not.” 改进后：“In the reading passage, the author presents several criticisms of buzzing as a marketing strategy, while the lecture challenges these points by providing counterarguments.”

2. 原文：“Secondly, the author points out that if buzzers don't reveal their true identity as a paid promoter, customers tend to be off guard and believe whatever they say.” 改进后：“On the other hand, the author points out that if buzzers don't reveal their true identity as paid promoters, customers tend to be less critical and believe whatever they say.”

5. Grammar

With shrinking impact of advertising, commercial companies have started to promote "buzzing", a tactic that paid someone to advertise their products among acquaintance. The author and man have contrasting views on whether this approach to promoting a product is trustworthy or not.

To begin with, the author argues that what buzzer said is equivalent ofto(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) paid advertising, full of misleading information. The man disputes this idea, arguing that corporations only hire people who have used their products and strongly believe they are truly convenient and useful as buzzers. Those people are paid to tell others their authentic perspectives aboutperspectives on(Collocation: perspectives about/on) the commodity they have been using. For instance, the man who has been a part-time buzzer is indeed thinking phonethe phone(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) service he is promoting is very good.

Secondly, the author points out that if buzzers don't reveal their true identity as a paid promoter, customers tend to be off guard and believe whatever they say. The man, however, argues that instead of blindly trusting what he said, customers will ask a sea of questions such as prices or quality. If they don't receive a good answer, they won't take purchase into consideration.

Lastly, the author asserts that buzzing would widen the mistrust once buzzers promoting behavior is discovered by customers. However, the man argues that if products are not good enough, firms are not able to afford buzzers. In addition, if customers can have a good experience via buzzing, they will become more openness and are more willing to trust others.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

With the diminishing impact of traditional advertising, commercial companies have started to promote "buzzing," a tactic that involves paying individuals to advertise their products among acquaintances. The author and the speaker have contrasting views on whether this approach to promoting a product is trustworthy or not.

To begin with, the author argues that what buzzers say is equivalent to paid advertising, full of misleading information. The speaker disputes this idea, arguing that corporations only hire people who have used their products and genuinely believe they are convenient and useful as buzzers. These individuals are paid to share their authentic perspectives about the commodities they have been using. For instance, the speaker, who has been a part-time buzzer, genuinely believes that the phone service he is promoting is excellent.

Secondly, the author points out that if buzzers do not reveal their true identity as paid promoters, customers tend to be off guard and believe whatever they say. The speaker, however, argues that instead of blindly trusting what he said, customers will ask numerous questions about aspects such as prices or quality. If they do not receive satisfactory answers, they will not consider making a purchase.

Lastly, the author asserts that buzzing would widen mistrust once buzzers' promotional behavior is discovered by customers. However, the speaker argues that if products are not good enough, firms will not be able to afford buzzers. In addition, if customers have positive experiences through buzzing promotions, they will become more open and willing to trust others. (253 words)

Revised essay with explanations inline:

With shrinking the diminishing impact of advertising, traditional advertising (changed "shrinking" to "diminishing" for better word choice), commercial companies have started to promote "buzzing", "buzzing," (added comma for clarity) a tactic that paid someone involves paying individuals to advertise their products among acquaintance. acquaintances. The author and man the speaker (changed "man" to "speaker" for consistency) have contrasting views on whether this approach to promoting a product is trustworthy or not.

To begin with, the author argues that what buzzer said buzzers say is equivalent of to paid advertising, full of misleading information. The man speaker disputes this idea, arguing that corporations only hire people who have used their products and strongly genuinely believe they are truly convenient and useful as buzzers. Those people buzzers (changed "truly" to "genuinely" for better word choice). These individuals are paid to tell others share their authentic perspectives about the commodity commodities they have been using. For instance, the man speaker, who has been a part-time buzzer is indeed thinking buzzer, genuinely believes that the phone service he is promoting is very good. excellent (changed "very good" to "excellent" for stronger emphasis).

Secondly, the author points out that if buzzers don't do not reveal their true identity as a paid promoter, promoters, customers tend to be off guard and believe whatever they say. The man, speaker, however, argues that instead of blindly trusting what he said, said (kept original wording as it conveys meaning clearly), customers will ask a sea of numerous questions about aspects such as prices or quality. quality (changed "a sea of questions" to "numerous questions about aspects" for clarity). If they don't do not receive satisfactory answers (changed "a good answer" to "satisfactory answers"), they will not consider making a good answer, they won't take purchase into consideration. purchase.

Lastly, the author asserts that buzzing would widen the mistrust once buzzers promoting buzzers' promotional behavior is discovered by customers. However, the man speaker argues that if products are not good enough, firms are not will not be able to afford buzzers. In addition, if customers can have a good experience via buzzing, have positive experiences through buzzing promotions (changed "via buzzing" to "through buzzing promotions" for clarity), they will become more openness and are more open and willing to trust others.others (changed "openness" to "open" for proper word usage).

8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Diminishing impact of traditional advertising
  - Buzzing as a new tactic
  - Contrasting views on trustworthiness

- Point 1: Authenticity of buzzers' opinions
  - Author: Paid advertising, misleading information
  - Speaker: Genuine users, authentic perspectives
  - Example: Speaker's experience as a buzzer

- Point 2: Buzzers' disclosure and customer trust
  - Author: Customers off guard, believe buzzers easily
  - Speaker: Customers ask questions, make informed decisions

- Point 3: Impact on overall trust in the market
  - Author: Wider mistrust when buzzing discovered
  - Speaker: Good products can afford buzzers, positive experiences build trust

9. Keywords

Section Title: 6.文章修订

With the diminishing impact of traditional advertising, commercial companies have started to promote "buzzing," a tactic that involves paying individuals to advertise their products among acquaintances. The author and the speaker have contrasting views on whether this approach to promoting a product is trustworthy or not.

To begin with, the author argues that what buzzers say is equivalent to paid advertising, full of misleading information. The speaker disputes this idea, arguing that corporations only hire people who have used their products and genuinely believe they are convenient and useful as buzzers. These individuals are paid to share their authentic perspectives about the commodities they have been using. For instance, the speaker, who has been a part-time buzzer, genuinely believes that the phone service he is promoting is excellent.

Secondly, the author points out that if buzzers do not reveal their true identity as paid promoters, customers tend to be off guard and believe whatever they say. The speaker, however, argues that instead of blindly trusting what he said, customers will ask numerous questions about aspects such as prices or quality. If they do not receive satisfactory answers, they will not consider making a purchase.

Lastly, the author asserts that buzzing would widen mistrust once buzzers' promotional behavior is discovered by customers. However, the speaker argues that if products are not good enough, firms will not be able to afford buzzers. In addition, if customers have positive experiences through buzzing promotions, they will become more open and willing to trust others.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 4

2.Estimated Scores

• Estimated Score: 25

3.Task completeness The essay does a good job of summarizing the points made in the lecture and explaining how they challenge the specific points made in the reading passage. However, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed explanations of the lecture's counterarguments and further elaborating on how they directly challenge the reading passage's claims.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more specific examples from the lecture to support your summary.

• Clearly explain how each counterargument from the lecture challenges the corresponding point in the reading passage.

Examples:

1. Instead of just stating that buzzers are professional and genuinely believe in their products, you could mention that companies specifically look for people who already use and like their products, which makes their endorsements more authentic.

2. When discussing consumers' questions about buzzed products, you could provide a specific example from the lecture, such as how people ask about price, service, and how long the buzzer has used the product.

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each point of contention, and a conclusion. The organization is logical, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point and supporting details. However, transitions between ideas could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Use transition words or phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs.

• Improve transitions between paragraphs to create a smoother flow throughout the essay.

Examples:

1. In your second paragraph, you could use a transition phrase like "On the other hand" to contrast your point with what was stated in the article.

2. To improve transitions between paragraphs, consider using phrases like "Moving on to another concern" or "Regarding another point raised in the article" to signal a shift in focus.

5. Grammar

The article criticizes the companies' new tactic of hiring "buzzers" to promote their products, claiming that it is deceptive and harmful. However, the man in the lecture casts doubt on these claims by providing several counterarguments that challenge the assertions made in the article.

In response to the first point, the article posits that buzzers promote unreliable facts regarding product details in order to increase their profit. Contrarily, the man contends that even though companies pay buzzers for their services, they are professional and genuinely believe in the products they promote; otherwise, companies would not hire them.

Addressing the second concern, the article asserts that buzzer's descriptions are overrated and questionable. Nevertheless, the man disputes this claim by stating that he, as a buzzer working for a company, knows every aspect of the product, including its manufacture, price, and quality. He also emphasizes that consumers ask many questions about buzzed products and will not purchase them if they are not satisfied with his answers.

Finally, while the article notes that buzzers spread dishonesty towards their consumers and erode trust in social relationships, the man counters this argument by pointing out that only advanced companies with high-quality production can afford numerous buzzers to serve their promotion. Therefore, it highlights these companies' status and commitment to offering superior products.

In light of these claims raised by the man in the lecture, it becomes evident that the article's assertions may be misleading and overlook several crucial aspects of buzzing as a marketing strategy.

Section Title: 6. Revised Essay

The article criticizes the companies' new tactic of hiring "buzzers" to promote their products, claiming that it is deceptive and harmful. However, the man in the lecture casts doubt on these claims by providing several counterarguments that challenge the assertions made in the article.

In response to the first point, the article posits that buzzers promote unreliable facts regarding product details in order to increase their profit. Contrarily, the man contends that even though companies pay buzzers for their services, they are professional and genuinely believe in the products they promote; otherwise, companies would not hire them.

Addressing the second concern, the article asserts that buzzer's descriptions are overrated and questionable. Nevertheless, the man disputes this claim by stating that he, as a buzzer working for a company, knows every aspect of the product, including its manufacture, price, and quality. He also emphasizes that consumers ask many questions about buzzed products and will not purchase them if they are not satisfied with his answers.

Finally, while the article notes that buzzers spread dishonesty towards their consumers and erode trust in social relationships, the man counters this argument by pointing out that only advanced companies with high-quality production can afford numerous buzzers to serve their promotion. Therefore, it highlights these companies' status and commitment to offering superior products.

In light of these claims raised by the man in the lecture, it becomes evident that the article's assertions may be misleading and overlook several crucial aspects of buzzing as a marketing strategy. (255 words)

Revised essay: The article criticizes the companies' new tactic of hiring "buzzers" to promote their products, claiming that it is deceptive and harmful. However, the man in the lecture casts doubt on these claims by providing several counterarguments that challenge the assertions made in the article.

In response to the first point, the article posits that buzzers promote unreliable facts regarding product details in order to increase their profit. Contrarily, On the contrary (revised for a more natural tone), the man contends that even though companies pay buzzers for their services, they are professional and genuinely believe in the products they promote; otherwise, companies would not hire them.

Addressing the second concern, the article asserts that buzzer's descriptions are overrated and questionable. Nevertheless, Nevertheless (maintained for a natural tone), the man disputes this claim by stating that he, as a buzzer working for a company, knows every aspect of the product, including its manufacture, price, and quality. He also emphasizes that consumers ask many questions about buzzed products and will not purchase them if they are not satisfied with his answers.

Finally, while the article notes that buzzers spread dishonesty towards their consumers and erode trust in social relationships, the man counters this argument by pointing out that only advanced companies with high-quality production can afford numerous buzzers to serve their promotion. Therefore, Therefore (maintained for a natural tone), it highlights these companies' status and commitment to offering superior products.

In light of these claims raised by the man in the lecture, it becomes evident that the article's assertions may be misleading and overlook several crucial aspects of buzzing as a marketing strategy.

8. Mind Map

1. Introduction
   - Article's criticism of buzzers
   - Lecture's counterarguments

2. Unreliable facts
   - Article: Buzzers promote unreliable facts for profit
   - Lecture: Buzzers are professional and believe in products

3. Overrated descriptions
   - Article: Buzzer's descriptions are questionable
   - Lecture: Buzzers know product details and answer consumer questions

4. Dishonesty and eroding trust
   - Article: Buzzers harm social relationships and trust
   - Lecture: Only advanced companies with high-quality products can afford buzzers, showing commitment to quality

5. Conclusion
   - Article's assertions may be misleading, overlooking crucial aspects of buzzing as a marketing strategy.

9. Key Words