TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Instructions Your professor is teaching a class on marketing. Write a post responding to theprofessor's question.

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

• 27

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面做得相当不错，但仍有一些改进的空间。首先，在表达观点时，可以尝试使用更具说服力的例子来支持你的论点。其次，文章结尾部分略显仓促，建议在结论中对前文观点进行更充分的总结。

改进示例：

1. 在支持互联网作为购物建议来源的观点时，可以举一个具体的在线消费者杂志或者比较网站作为例子。

2. 在结论部分，可以补充一句关于朋友和家人建议可能受限于他们自身经验和知识范围的观点。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章整体结构清晰，包括引言、主体和结论。然而，在段落过渡和逻辑组织方面还有待加强。建议使用恰当的过渡词或短语来连接不同段落之间的观点，并确保每个段落都聚焦于一个特定主题。

改进示例：

1. 在从互联网优势讨论转向朋友建议的局限性时，可以使用过渡词如“然而”或“尽管如此”来引导读者。

2. 在主体段落中，可以先讨论互联网的优势，然后再讨论朋友和家人建议的局限性，以保持文章逻辑清晰。

5. 语法批改

I concur with Claire's view on the best resouceresource(misspelling) of advice for making purchasing decisions. Firstly, the internet saves us time due to it conveniencyconvenience(misspelling) and efficiency of collecting information. For instance, the only thing we need to do when we need some advice is to type our question into the search engine like Google or social media and the answer will appear on the screen within seconds. Secondly, the internet can prociselyprecisely(misspelling) calterCarter(misspelling) to our needs, since we can explain our thoughts in detail, compare diffirentdifferent(misspelling) opitionsoptions(misspelling) even thousand times until we get satisfied results. Granted, I can also understand Paul'(Unpaired braces, brackets, quotation marks and similar symbols) concern, but we should admit that some time friends might not be so patient as the computer does. In conclusion, I prefer to get advice from the inteinto(misspelling)

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In response to the professor's question, I believe that relying on online sources is a more effective strategy for making purchasing decisions than solely depending on advice from friends and family. The internet offers unparalleled convenience and efficiency in gathering information, as one can quickly access a wealth of data through search engines or social media platforms. Furthermore, online resources allow individuals to thoroughly examine their options, comparing various products and features until they find the most suitable choice. While friends and family may offer valuable insights based on personal knowledge of one's preferences, they may not always have the patience or expertise to provide comprehensive advice. Thus, utilizing online sources for product research and decision-making is a more advantageous approach. (126 words)

In response to the professor's question, I concur with Claire's view believe that relying on the best resouce of advice online sources is a more effective strategy for making purchasing decisions. Firstly, the decisions than solely depending on advice from friends and family (reason: online sources provide a wider range of information and perspectives). The internet saves us time due to it conveniency offers unparalleled convenience and efficiency in gathering information (explanation: quick access to vast amounts of collecting information. For instance, the only thing we need to do when we need some advice is to type our question into the data), as one can quickly access a wealth of data through search engine like Google engines or social media platforms. Furthermore, online resources allow individuals to thoroughly examine their options (reason: detailed product descriptions and comparisons available), comparing various products and features until they find the answer will appear most suitable choice. While friends and family may offer valuable insights based on personal knowledge of one's preferences (acknowledging the screen within seconds. Secondly, value of personal connections), they may not always have the internet can procisely calter patience or expertise to our needs, since we can explain our thoughts in detail, compare diffirent opitions even thousand times until we get satisfied results. Granted, I can also understand Paul' concern, but we should admit that some provide comprehensive advice (reason: limited time friends might not be so patient as the computer does. In conclusion, I prefer to get advice from the inteand knowledge). Thus, utilizing online sources for product research and decision-making is a more advantageous approach (conclusion: benefits of using online resources outweigh potential drawbacks).

8 思维导图

1. 网络资源的优势
   1.1 便捷性
   1.2 信息量大
   1.3 多样性

2. 朋友和家人的建议
   2.1 基于个人喜好的见解
   2.2 可能缺乏耐心或专业知识

3. 对比分析
   3.1 在线资源提供全面信息和对比功能
   3.2 考虑到个人需求和偏好的选择方案

4. 结论：利用在线资源进行产品研究和决策更具优势。

9 关键词