TOEFL TPO 71 Speaking Task 4 Sample: Using points and examples from the lecture, explain two characteristics of effective feedback

1.Sub Scores

• Delivery: 2

• Language Use: 2

• Topic Development: 1

2.Estimated Scores

• Total Score: 15

3.Delivery The speaker's delivery could be improved by focusing on clearer and more fluid speech. The pace should be consistent, with only occasional pauses. To improve pronunciation, the speaker should practice saying words correctly and avoid spelling errors that result from inaccurate pronunciation. Additionally, the speaker should work on appropriate pauses to avoid punctuation problems.

4.Topic Development The response provided does not address the question about the characteristics of effective feedback. Instead, it discusses a music department event. To improve topic development, the speaker should ensure that their response is coherent and well-organized, directly answering the question asked. They should also provide clear connections between ideas and sufficient support or examples from the lecture to demonstrate their understanding of the topic.

5.Language Use

The campus announces lecture discussed (the original phrase did not address the lecture topic) that the music department is going to hold the free lunchtime concert in the music department lodge. two characteristics of effective feedback are important for teachers to consider. (the original sentence was off-topic) This can offer music students more opportunities to perform and also offer snacks for the coming students. One characteristic is proper timing, which allows students to apply the feedback while still working on a task or skill. (replaced off-topic content with relevant information) And the women look forward to this activity. Another characteristic is focusing on students' work rather than on the students themselves, which helps them learn what to do in the future. (replaced off-topic content with relevant information)

Revised Answer (140 words):

The lecture discussed two characteristics of effective feedback that are important for teachers to consider. One characteristic is proper timing, which allows students to apply the feedback while still working on a task or skill. For example, an art teacher should give feedback on students' paintings while they are still studying painting techniques, so they can try out the teacher's suggestions. Another characteristic is focusing on students' work rather than on the students themselves, which helps them learn what to do in the future. Instead of criticizing a student for being a bad painter, the teacher might suggest different colors to use in their next painting. By incorporating these characteristics into their feedback, teachers can provide more effective guidance and support for their students, ultimately helping them improve their skills and performance.

6.Mind Map

- Effective Feedback
  - Proper Timing
    - Apply feedback while working on task/skill
    - Example: Art teacher giving feedback on paintings
  - Focus on Work, Not Students
    - Helps students learn what to do in the future
    - Example: Suggesting different colors instead of criticizing painting skills

7.Key Words

1.子项得分

• 交付 (Delivery): 3

• 语言使用 (Language Use): 3

• 话题发展 (Topic Development): 3

2.预估分数: 23

3.表达 从交付方面来看，整体上讲得比较清楚，但在某些地方存在一些不必要的停顿。为了提高口语表达能力，建议在练习时注意保持连贯性和一致的语速。同时，注意正确发音，以避免出现拼写错误。

4.话题发展 从话题发展方面来看，回答内容基本上是连贯和有组织的，但可以在一些地方进一步加强。例如，在描述有效反馈的第一个特点时，可以更明确地说明反馈应该在学生仍在进行某项任务或技能时给出。此外，在举例子时，可以更详细地解释为什么这个例子能很好地说明有效反馈的特点。总之，在练习时尝试更清晰地表达观点，并提供充分的支持或例子。

5.语言使用

原文：In an education class, the class talks about the teacher should offer feedback to students. In an education class, the lecture discusses how teachers should provide feedback to students.（在教育课上，讲座讨论了教师应如何向学生提供反馈。）

原文：They praise students when they are doing great, and they should let students know when they are making mistakes. Teachers praise students for their achievements and inform them about their mistakes.（教师表扬学生的成就，并告知他们关于他们的错误。）

原文：So this can improve students to do better in the future. This helps students improve their performance in the future.（这有助于学生在未来提高他们的表现。）

原文：The first is about the time of the feedback. The first characteristic concerns the timing of the feedback.（第一个特点涉及反馈的时机。）

原文：It should be given to students when students are still working, so they can get the feedback. Feedback should be provided while students are still working on a task, allowing them to apply it immediately.（在学生仍在进行任务时，应向他们提供反馈，使他们能立即应用它。）

原文：For example, in an arts class, the teacher should give the feedback about painting during the class they are still taking, so the student can try again. For instance, in an art class, the teacher should provide feedback on paintings while students are still working on them, allowing students to make adjustments.（例如，在艺术课上，教师应在学生仍在进行绘画时就提供关于绘画的反馈，让学生可以进行调整。）

原文：And second is about the work feedback. The second characteristic pertains to the focus of the feedback.（第二个特点涉及反馈的重点。）

原文：It is not focused on students themselves, so students can learn what to do in the future. Feedback should concentrate on students' work rather than their personal abilities, enabling them to learn from it and improve.（反馈应关注学生的作品而非他们的个人能力，使他们能从中学习并改进。）

原文：Also, in the example of the arts, if the teacher thinks the painting color is not good, they should suggest the student to use another color in the next painting class. In the art example, if a teacher believes a painting's colors are unsuitable, they should recommend alternative colors for future projects.（在艺术示例中，如果教师认为绘画的颜色不合适，他们应该为未来的项目推荐其他颜色。）

修订版（140词）：

In an education class, the lecture discusses how teachers should provide feedback to students. Teachers praise students for their achievements and inform them about their mistakes. This helps students improve their performance in the future. There are two characteristics of effective feedback. The first characteristic concerns the timing of the feedback. Feedback should be provided while students are still working on a task, allowing them to apply it immediately. For instance, in an art class, the teacher should provide feedback on paintings while students are still working on them, allowing students to make adjustments. The second characteristic pertains to the focus of the feedback. Feedback should concentrate on students' work rather than their personal abilities, enabling them to learn from it and improve. In the art example, if a teacher believes a painting's colors are unsuitable, they should recommend alternative colors for future projects.

6.思维导图

- Education class
  - Teachers provide feedback
    - Praise achievements
    - Inform about mistakes

- Characteristics of effective feedback
  - Timing
    - While students work on tasks
    - Apply feedback immediately
  - Focus
    - On students' work, not personal abilities
    - Learn and improve from feedback

- Examples
  - Art class
    - Feedback on paintings during the process
    - Adjustments based on feedback
  - Colors in paintings
    - Recommend alternative colors for future projects

7.关键词

1.子项得分

• 交付 (Delivery): 3.5

• 语言使用 (Language Use): 3.5

• 话题发展 (Topic Development): 3.5

2.预估分数

• 总分: 27

3.表达 回答中的发音大部分清晰，语速适中，但在某些地方存在轻微的停顿。为了提高口语表达能力，建议在练习时注意保持连贯流畅的语速，并尽量减少不必要的停顿。同时，注意正确发音，以避免拼写错误。

4.话题发展 回答内容基本上是连贯和组织良好的，能够明确地阐述听力课程中提到的两个有效反馈特点，并给出了相应的例子。然而，在描述第一个特点时，可以更详细地解释为什么及时反馈对学生有益。此外，在给出例子时，可以尝试使用更多不同类型的例子来丰富回答内容。

5.语言使用

原文及修改后的回答：

The professor has discussed two characteristics of effective feedbacks. First, the feedback should be properly timed as the feedback should be given when the students are still working, which in order to give them an opportunity to apply the feedback. For example, in a painting class, the teacher should give the students feedback while they are studying painting in order for them to try the painting techniques that presented in class. Secondly, the feedback should focus on the work itself instead of the students. Criticizing students will only let them to feel bad and not knowing what to do next. For example, if the teacher thinks that the color in the painting does not look good, they should suggest to use a different color the next time instead of criticizing the students saying that they are not a good painter.

The professor has discussed two characteristics of effective feedbackseffective feedback(反馈是不可数名词，应使用单数形式). First, the feedback should be properly timed(此处去掉定冠词“the”使句子更自然), as it should be given when the students are still working(同样去掉定冠词“the”使句子更自然), in order to give them an opportunity to apply the feedback. For example, in a painting class, the teacher should give the students feedback while they are studying painting(同样去掉定冠词“the”使句子更自然), in order for them to try the painting techniques that presentedwere presented(此处应使用被动语态) in class. Secondly, the feedback should focus on the work itself instead of the students(同样去掉定冠词“the”使句子更自然). Criticizing students will only letcause(此处应使用cause表示导致) them to feel bad and not knowingknow(此处应使用动词原形) what to do next. For example, if the teacher thinks that the color in the painting does not look good, they should suggest to useusing(suggest后接动名词) a different color the next time instead of criticizing the students(同样去掉定冠词“the”使句子更自然), saying that they are not a good painter.

修订后的回答（140字）：

The professor has discussed two characteristics of effective feedback. First, feedback should be properly timed, as it should be given when students are still working, in order to give them an opportunity to apply the feedback. For example, in a painting class, a teacher should give students feedback while they are studying painting, allowing them to try the painting techniques that were presented in class. Secondly, the feedback should focus on the work itself instead of students. Criticizing students will only cause them to feel bad and not know what to do next. For example, if a teacher thinks that the color in the painting does not look good, they should suggest using a different color next time instead of criticizing students, saying that they are not a good painter.

6.思维导图

- Effective Feedback
    - Properly Timed
        - Given when students are still working
        - Opportunity to apply feedback
        - Example: Painting class
    - Focus on Work, not Students
        - Criticizing students causes negative feelings
        - Students won't know what to do next
        - Example: Suggesting different colors in painting

7.关键词

1.子项得分 Delivery: 3 Language Use: 3 Topic Development: 3

2.预估分数 Estimated Score: 23

3.表达 从表达方面来看，发言者的语言流利度和语速基本一致，但偶尔会有停顿。为了提高表达能力，建议发言者注意以下几点：1）在练习时，尽量保持语速的稳定性，避免不必要的停顿；2）在发音方面，需要注意一些单词的准确发音，以免引起误解；3）在口语表达中，尽量使用更多的连接词和过渡词，使句子更加连贯。

4.话题发展 From the topic development aspect, the speaker provides a coherent response with clear connections between ideas and examples from the lecture. However, there is room for improvement in terms of organization and elaboration. To enhance topic development, consider the following suggestions: 1) Clearly state the two characteristics of effective feedback at the beginning of the response; 2) Use transition words or phrases to smoothly connect ideas and examples; 3) Provide more detailed explanations of the examples to better support the main points.

5.语言使用

Original Answer: In the education class, the professor talks about two characteristics of effective feedback. The first is probably time. With a probably time, students can apply practice that the teacher recommends on their assignments. For example, in the art class, students can actually try the teacher's recommended techniques to their real work. And second, they should focus on the work instead of themselves, so the students can learn what to do in the future. For example, in the art class, when students' colors don't look good, they should recommend different colors.

Corrected Answer: In the education class lecture, the professor discusses two characteristics of effective feedback. The first is proper timing. With proper timing, students can apply the practices that the teacher recommends to their assignments. For example, in an art class, students can actually try the teacher's suggested techniques on their actual work. The second characteristic is focusing on the work rather than on the students themselves so that they can learn what to do in the future. For instance, in an art class, when a student's color choices are not appealing, the teacher should suggest different colors to use. (将probably time改为proper timing，将apply practice改为apply practices，将And second改为The second characteristic，将instead of themselves改为rather than on the students themselves，将they should recommend改为the teacher should suggest。)

Revised 140-word Answer: In the education class lecture, the professor discusses two essential characteristics of effective feedback for student improvement. The first characteristic is proper timing. By providing feedback at an appropriate time, students can apply practices recommended by their teachers to their assignments and improve their skills accordingly. For instance, in an art class setting, timely feedback allows students to implement the teacher's suggested techniques on their actual work, enhancing their painting abilities. The second characteristic emphasizes focusing on the work rather than the students themselves. This approach enables students to understand what they need to improve in the future without feeling personally criticized. For example, if a student's color choices in an art class are not visually appealing, a teacher should suggest alternative colors to use, guiding the student towards better artistic decisions while maintaining a positive learning environment.

6.思维导图

- Education Class Lecture
  - Effective Feedback
    - Characteristic 1: Proper Timing
      - Apply practices to assignments
      - Example: Art class techniques
    - Characteristic 2: Focus on Work
      - Not on students themselves
      - Example: Suggesting different colors in art class

7.关键词

1.子项得分 Delivery: 3 Language Use: 3 Topic Development: 3

2.预估分数 Estimated Score: 23

3.表达 从表达方面来看，这个回答的发音和语速大体上是清晰和流畅的，但偶尔会有停顿。为了提高口语表达能力，建议在练习时注意以下几点：1) 加强发音练习，尤其是在容易发错音的单词上；2) 注意语速的控制，避免过快或过慢；3) 在适当的地方加入停顿，以增强语言的连贯性和表达力。

4.话题发展 The response is coherent and well-organized, with clear connections between ideas and sufficient support or examples from the lecture. However, there is room for improvement in topic development. To enhance the response, consider the following suggestions: 1) Elaborate on the examples provided in the lecture to better illustrate the points being made; 2) Ensure that each point is fully explained and connected to the overall topic of effective feedback; 3) Practice organizing thoughts and ideas in a more structured manner to create a more cohesive response.

5.语言使用

Original Answer: The first characteristic of effective feedback is properly timed. The first characteristic of effective feedback is that it is properly timed. (将"is"加入句子使其更自然) The teacher needs to give a comment and feedback on the students' assignments in time, so the students can learn the feedback effectively. The teacher needs to provide timely feedback on students' assignments, enabling them to learn effectively from the feedback. (修改句子结构，使其更简洁明了) For example, when the students take art classes and they hand in their homework on the art papers, the teacher should give their feedback on the assignment during the art class. For instance, when students submit their artwork in an art class, the teacher should provide feedback during that class itself. (简化句子，使其更自然流畅) The second characteristic of effective feedback is they should focus on the students' work, not the students themselves. The second characteristic of effective feedback is that it should focus on students' work rather than on the students themselves. (修改句子结构，使其更清晰明确) For example, when the teacher corrects a student, they may feel bad of themselves, For example, when a teacher corrects a student, the student may feel bad about themselves, (修改表述，使其更自然) but if they focus on the work, the student may feel better next time. but if the feedback focuses on their work, the student may feel more encouraged to improve next time. (修改句子结构，使其更具说服力)

Revised Answer (140 words): The first characteristic of effective feedback is that it is properly timed. The teacher needs to provide timely feedback on students' assignments, enabling them to learn effectively from the feedback. For instance, when students submit their artwork in an art class, the teacher should provide feedback during that class itself. This allows students to apply the suggestions and improve their skills while still working on the task. The second characteristic of effective feedback is that it should focus on students' work rather than on the students themselves. For example, when a teacher corrects a student, the student may feel bad about themselves, but if the feedback focuses on their work and offers specific suggestions for improvement, the student may feel more encouraged to improve next time. This approach fosters a growth mindset and helps students develop their skills more effectively.

6.思维导图

- Effective Feedback
  - Properly Timed
    - Timely feedback
    - Learn effectively
    - Example: Art class
  - Focus on Work
    - Not on students themselves
    - Encouragement to improve
    - Example: Specific suggestions

7.关键词

1.子项得分

• 交付：3

• 语言使用：3.5

• 主题发展：3.5

2.预估分数

• 总分：26

3.表达 回答中的语言表达较为清晰，但在某些地方可能需要稍作调整以提高流畅度。建议在练习时注意保持一致的语速和适当的停顿，以便更好地传达信息。同时，注意发音的准确性，以避免拼写错误。

4.话题发展 回答内容基本上是连贯和组织良好的，能够清楚地阐述有效反馈的两个特点。然而，在提供例子时可以尝试更详细地描述，以便更充分地支持观点。在练习时，请注意在论述中加入更多有力的例证来增强说服力。

5.语言使用

原文：The professor discusses two characteristics of effective feedback. The professor mentions two characteristics of effective feedback. (将discusses改为mentions，使表述更自然) First, the feedback should be provided at an appropriate time. First, the feedback should be given at the right time. (将provided at an appropriate time改为given at the right time，使表述更简洁) For instance, when a student is learning painting techniques, the teacher should offer guidance while they are still practicing, allowing the student to apply the new techniques effectively. Secondly, teachers should concentrate on students' work rather than the students themselves. For example, in an art class where a teacher dislikes a student's choice of colors, she should suggest alternative colors for future use. By allowing these principles, teachers can ensure that their feedback is both timely and focused on the work itself, leading to better learning outcomes for their students.

修订版（140词）：

The professor mentions two characteristics of effective feedback. First, the feedback should be given at the right time. This means that teachers should provide guidance while students are still working on a particular task or skill, allowing them to apply any suggestions or corrections immediately. For instance, when a student is learning painting techniques, the teacher should offer guidance while they are still practicing, enabling them to effectively apply new techniques as they progress. Secondly, teachers should focus on students' work rather than critiquing the students themselves. In an art class where a teacher dislikes a student's choice of colors, for example, she should suggest alternative colors for future use instead of criticizing the student personally. By adhering to these principles, teachers can ensure that their feedback is both timely and focused on the work itself, ultimately leading to improved learning outcomes for their students.

6.思维导图

- Effective Feedback
    - Right Time
        - Guidance during practice
        - Apply suggestions immediately
    - Focus on Work
        - Critique work, not students
        - Provide specific suggestions
    - Improved Learning Outcomes

7.关键词