TOEFL Writing Task 2 Sample: There is little justification for society to make extraordinary efforts -- especially at a great cost in money and jobs -- to save endangered animal or plant species.

1.子项得分

• 任务完成度：4

• 文章结构与组织：4

• 连贯性与衔接：4

• 语言运用：3

2.预估分数

• 25

3.任务完成度 总体来说，文章较好地回答了题目，并提出了保护濒危动植物的重要性。然而，为了使文章更具说服力，可以在论证中加入更多具体的例子和数据。此外，尝试从不同角度论证问题，例如经济、文化和道德层面。

示例1： 在讨论生态系统的影响时，可以加入一个具体的例子：“例如，在美国，灰狼被重新引入到黄石国家公园后，生态系统得到了显著改善。这表明保护濒危物种对于维持生态平衡至关重要。”

示例2： 在论述政府责任时，可以提到一些成功的保护项目：“政府通过实施保护项目如中国大熊猫保护工程等成功地拯救了许多濒危物种。这些案例证明政府有能力并应该承担起保护濒危物种的责任。”

4.文章结构与组织 文章整体结构清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。然而，部分段落的主题句不够明确，导致论点不够突出。建议在每个段落开头明确提出本段的主要观点，并在段落内使用恰当的过渡词以增强连贯性。

示例1： 修改第二段开头：“首先，保护濒危物种对于维持生态系统平衡至关重要。”这样可以让读者更清楚地了解本段的主要观点。

示例2： 在第三段中加入过渡词：“此外，政府有责任采取行动来拯救濒危动植物。”这样可以使文章在不同观点之间更加流畅。

5. 语法批改

It is true that saving endangered animal or plant species really costs a large amount of money and hard work, which can be utilized by the government to accomplish something more important, such as building more schools to improve the education quality or build more subways and railways to make the public transportation more convenient. Some people may think that the extinction of some animals and plants will not induce much badworse(Superfluous article before 'much', e.g. 'a much work') influence on us and, and(comma between independent clauses) maybe they can survive even without the interfereto interfere(a infinitive) of humans. The protection of endangered animals and the rehabilitation of vegetation, however, are crucial to us and the government should take the responsibility to protect and recover them.

To begin with, it is known to all that the food chain of the nature will become vulnerable if one specie within extinct. And because of the complexity of the nature, one specie is always associated with many food chains. So, the extinction of one specie, no matter is it a plant or an animal, will contribute to a lot of unfavorable impacts to the ecosystem. For example, when the predators are endangered, the population of the rabbits and rats can grow without bound, eating up the vegetation of this area. The decrease of vegetation causes the loss of nutrient and water, making the environment condition here worse and worse. Moreover, the living quality of citizens nearby will be impacted badly. The particles, such as sand and vehicle emission, in the air will increase, owning to the disability to absorb harmful gas and maintain soil with the dearth of plants. And because theof the(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'of' is missing in a sentence.) increasing population of mouse and a lack of food in the wild, the mouse will invade the city and bring about dangerous diseases. In conclusion, the extinction of one specie is dangerous not only to ecosystem, but also to the humans.

Moreover, the government is responsible to take actions to save the endangered animals and plants. First, it is the government's duty to spend the taxes paid by citizens in creating a comfortable and safe place to live in and to sustain the ecosystem. Besides, the government is the only one who have such power and wealth to save the endangered species, which are both required when making regulations and hire experts to solve this problem. If the society refuserefuses(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb) to take its responsibility, then there are certainly no other options.

All in all, saving the endangered species and recovering the habitats of wild animals are not only the duty of society but also crucial to our own healthy living conditions. So, they are worth paying lots of money and workers.

6.文章修订

It is true that saving endangered animal or plant species requires a significant amount of money and effort, which could be utilized by the government to accomplish more pressing matters, such as improving educational quality by building more schools or enhancing public transportation through the construction of subways and railways. Some individuals may argue that the extinction of certain species will not have a substantial impact on human life and that these species might survive without human intervention. However, the protection of endangered animals and the rehabilitation of vegetation are crucial to our well-being, and it is the government's responsibility to safeguard and restore them.

Firstly, it is widely acknowledged that the natural food chain becomes vulnerable when a species goes extinct. Due to the complexity of nature, one species is often involved in multiple food chains. Consequently, the extinction of a single species, whether plant or animal, can lead to numerous detrimental effects on ecosystems. For instance, when predator populations decline, herbivores such as rabbits and rats can proliferate unchecked, consuming vast amounts of vegetation in a given area. This decrease in vegetation results in nutrient and water loss, progressively worsening environmental conditions. Furthermore, nearby residents' living quality will be adversely affected. Airborne particles like sand and vehicle emissions will increase due to plants' diminished capacity to absorb harmful gases and maintain soil stability. Additionally, an increasing rodent population coupled with a scarcity of food in their natural habitat may lead them to invade urban areas, potentially spreading dangerous diseases. In conclusion, species extinction poses threats not only to ecosystems but also to humans.

Moreover, it is incumbent upon governments to take action in preserving endangered animals and plants. Firstly, it is their duty to allocate taxpayers' money towards creating comfortable and safe living environments while maintaining ecological balance. Secondly, governments possess both the authority and resources necessary for implementing effective conservation measures; they can establish regulations and employ experts capable of addressing this issue. If society refuses to assume responsibility, there will be no viable alternatives.

In addition to the environmental and moral reasons for protecting endangered species, there are also economic and cultural benefits. For example, ecotourism has become a lucrative industry in many countries, attracting tourists who are interested in observing rare animals and plants in their natural habitats. This generates revenue for local communities and promotes sustainable development. Furthermore, preserving biodiversity is essential for maintaining cultural heritage; many indigenous communities rely on specific plants and animals for their traditional practices and livelihoods.

In conclusion, saving endangered species and restoring their habitats are not only society's duty but also vital to our own well-being. These efforts warrant significant investment in terms of money and manpower. By acknowledging the importance of biodiversity and taking concrete steps towards conservation, we can ensure a healthy future for both humans and the natural world.

Essay statistics: {"words": 458, "unique_words": 249} (481 words)

7.文章批改

It is true that saving endangered animal or plant species really costs a large requires a significant amount of money and hard work, effort (revised for clarity and formality), which can could be utilized by the government to accomplish something more important, pressing matters, such as improving educational quality by building more schools to improve the education quality or build more subways and railways to make the enhancing public transportation more convenient. through the construction of subways and railways. Some people individuals may think argue that the extinction of some animals and plants certain species will not induce much bad influence have a substantial impact on us and maybe they can human life (revised for clarity) and that these species might survive even without the interfere of humans. The human intervention. However, the protection of endangered animals and the rehabilitation of vegetation, however, vegetation are crucial to us and the government should take the our well-being (revised for clarity), and it is the government's responsibility to protect and recover safeguard and restore them.

To begin with, Firstly, it is known to all widely acknowledged that the natural food chain of the nature will become becomes vulnerable if one specie within extinct. And because of when a species goes extinct (revised for formality). Due to the complexity of the nature, one specie is always associated with many species is often involved in multiple food chains. So, Consequently, the extinction of one specie, no matter is it a a single species, whether plant or an animal, will contribute to a lot of unfavorable impacts to the ecosystem. can lead to numerous detrimental effects on ecosystems (revised for clarity). For example, instance, when the predators are endangered, the population of the predator populations decline, herbivores such as rabbits and rats can grow without bound, eating up the proliferate unchecked (revised for clarity), consuming vast amounts of vegetation of this in a given area. The This decrease of in vegetation causes the loss of results in nutrient and water, making the environment condition here worse and worse. Moreover, the water loss, progressively worsening environmental conditions (revised for clarity). Furthermore, nearby residents' living quality of citizens nearby will be impacted badly. The particles, such as adversely affected (revised for formality). Airborne particles like sand and vehicle emission, in the air emissions will increase, owning to the disability increase due to plants' diminished capacity to absorb harmful gas gases and maintain soil stability (revised for clarity). Additionally, an increasing rodent population coupled with the dearth of plants. And because the increasing population of mouse and a lack a scarcity of food in the wild, the mouse will their natural habitat may lead them to invade the city and bring about urban areas, potentially spreading dangerous diseases. diseases (revised for clarity). In conclusion, the species extinction of one specie is dangerous poses threats not only to ecosystem, ecosystems but also to the humans.

Moreover, the government is responsible it is incumbent upon governments to take actions to save the action in preserving endangered animals and plants. First, plants (revised for formality). Firstly, it is the government's their duty to spend the taxes paid by citizens in allocate taxpayers' money towards creating a comfortable and safe place to live in and to sustain the ecosystem. Besides, the government is the only one who have such power and wealth to save the living environments while maintaining ecological balance (revised for clarity). Secondly, governments possess both the authority and resources necessary for implementing effective conservation measures (revised for clarity); they can establish regulations and employ experts capable of addressing this issue. If society refuses to assume responsibility, there will be no viable alternatives (revised for clarity).

In addition to the environmental and moral reasons for protecting endangered species, which are both required when making regulations and hire experts to solve this problem. If the society refuse to take its responsibility, then there are certainly no other options. also economic and cultural benefits (revised for clarity). For example, ecotourism has become a lucrative industry in many countries, attracting tourists who are interested in observing rare animals and plants in their natural habitats. This generates revenue for local communities and promotes sustainable development. Furthermore, preserving biodiversity is essential for maintaining cultural heritage; many indigenous communities rely on specific plants and animals for their traditional practices and livelihoods (revised for clarity).

All in all, In conclusion, saving the endangered species and recovering the restoring their habitats of wild animals are not only the society's duty of society but also crucial vital to our own well-being (revised for clarity). These efforts warrant significant investment in terms of money and manpower. By acknowledging the importance of biodiversity and taking concrete steps towards conservation, we can ensure a healthy living conditions. So, they are worth paying lots of money and workers.future for both humans and the natural world.

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Saving endangered species and restoring their habitats are crucial to our well-being and the government's responsibility.
  • Topic sentence 1: The extinction of a single species can lead to numerous detrimental effects on ecosystems.
    • Sub-topic: Food chain vulnerability
    • Supporting example: Decline in predator populations leading to unchecked herbivore growth
  • Topic sentence 2: Governments have the responsibility and resources to preserve endangered animals and plants.
    • Sub-topic: Allocation of taxpayers' money
    • Supporting example: Establishing regulations and employing experts for conservation measures
  • Topic sentence 3: There are economic and cultural benefits to protecting endangered species.
    • Sub-topic: Ecotourism industry
    • Supporting example: Revenue generation for local communities and sustainable development
  • Conclusion: Acknowledging the importance of biodiversity and investing in conservation efforts ensure a healthy future for humans and the natural world.

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Protecting endangered species can lead to scientific breakthroughs, as many plants and animals possess unique properties that can be utilized in medicine and technology.

2. Preserving endangered species helps maintain genetic diversity, which is crucial for the long-term survival and adaptability of various species in changing environments.

3. Endangered species often serve as indicator species, reflecting the overall health of ecosystems; their decline may signal larger environmental issues that need to be addressed.

4. The extinction of a single species can have a domino effect on other species within an ecosystem, potentially leading to a cascade of extinctions and further destabilizing the environment.

5. Many endangered species have cultural significance for indigenous communities, and their protection helps preserve these communities' identities and traditional knowledge systems.