TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Instructions: Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response you should: express and support your personal opinion make a contribution to the discussion An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

1. Sub Scores

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. Estimated Scores

Estimated Score: 28

3. Task completeness

The essay addresses the specific requirements of the task quite well, as it provides a clear opinion on the importance of university ranking in choosing a college or university. The essay also contributes to the discussion by providing relevant examples and reasons to support the viewpoint. However, there could be more elaboration on how university ranking directly affects students' future job prospects.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more concrete examples or statistics on how high-ranking universities lead to better job opportunities.

• Address potential counterarguments, such as cost concerns mentioned by Student B.

Examples:

1. "According to a study conducted by XYZ University, graduates from top-ranking universities have a higher employment rate within six months of graduation compared to those from lower-ranked institutions."

2. "While cost is an important factor to consider, attending a high-ranking university can lead to higher-paying jobs that help offset the initial investment in education."

4. Essay structure and organization

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on specific points with supporting details. However, transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be improved for better flow.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Use transition words or phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs.

• Add a concluding sentence in each body paragraph that summarizes the main point before moving on to the next paragraph.

Examples:

1. "Firstly, prestigious universities often offer high-quality programs with excellent professors and experts, which broaden students' knowledge beyond regular courses. Furthermore, these institutions provide unique opportunities for students to gain practical experience."

2. "In conclusion, considering university ranking when choosing a college or university is crucial due to its impact on education quality and future job prospects. By attending a top-ranked institution, students can gain valuable knowledge and experiences that will help them succeed in their careers."

5. Grammar

For me, the ranking of university should be taken into account when students chose university or college to attend. Because high ranking of university or college often relates to high education and directly affects students' future job aspects.

Firstly, prestigious university often offers decent quality program with excellent professors and experts, which borders students' knowledge beyond regular course. For example, NTUITU(misspelling), the top ranking university in Taiwan ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) their law school often hosts speeches by lots of renowned (Two consecutive spaces)lawyers, judges and attorneys. During speechspeech,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) the speakers will share their professional perspective and personal analyze. By attending these programprogram,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) students can integrate abstract conceptual lessons with practical experiences.

Secondly, prominent (Two consecutive spaces)business are relatively willing to launch academic-industry program with famous university. For example, during my university years ,,(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) I applied for the internship which launched by our department and local entrepreneur, during whole process not only obtained real-world experiences, but also cultivated lots of essential skills such as communication, problem-solving.ThisThese(this + plural noun + verb (these)) experiments enable students beto be(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) competitive in their future workplace as well as be relatively superior candidate when they search job.

Consequently, iI(i vs. I) highly advocate that students should take ranking into account.

Display title: 6 Revised Essay

In my opinion, the ranking of a university should be a significant factor when students choose which college or university to attend. This is because a high-ranking institution often correlates with a high-quality education and directly impacts students' future job prospects.

Firstly, prestigious universities often offer top-notch programs with distinguished professors and experts, which broadens students' knowledge beyond regular coursework. For instance, at NTU, the highest-ranking university in Taiwan, their law school frequently hosts speeches by renowned lawyers, judges, and attorneys. During these events, speakers share their professional perspectives and personal analyses. By attending these programs, students can integrate abstract conceptual lessons with practical experiences.

Secondly, prominent businesses are more inclined to launch academic-industry programs with well-known universities. For example, during my university years, I applied for an internship launched by our department in collaboration with a local entrepreneur. Throughout the process, I not only gained real-world experience but also cultivated essential skills such as communication and problem-solving. These experiences enable students to be competitive in their future workplaces and become relatively superior candidates when searching for jobs.

Therefore, I strongly advocate that students should take rankings into account when selecting their college or university as it plays a crucial role in shaping their academic experience and future career opportunities. (215 words)

For me, In my opinion, the ranking of a university should be taken into account a significant factor when students chose university choose which college or college university to attend. Because high ranking of university or college attend (revised for clarity and natural tone). This is because a high-ranking institution often relates to high correlates with a high-quality education and directly affects impacts students' future job aspects. prospects (revised for better flow).

Firstly, prestigious university universities often offers decent quality program with excellent offer top-notch programs with distinguished professors and experts, which borders broadens students' knowledge beyond regular course. coursework (revised for clarity and natural tone). For example, instance, at NTU, the top ranking university in Taiwan , highest-ranking university in Taiwan, their law school often frequently hosts speeches by lots of renowned renowned lawyers, judges and attorneys. judges, and attorneys (revised for better flow). During speech the these events, speakers will share their professional perspective perspectives and personal analyze. analyses (revised for clarity). By attending these program programs, students can integrate abstract conceptual lessons with practical experiences. experiences (revised for better flow).

Secondly, prominent business prominent businesses are relatively willing more inclined to launch academic-industry program with famous university. programs with well-known universities (revised for clarity and natural tone). For example, during my university years , years, I applied for the an internship which launched by our department and in collaboration with a local entrepreneur, during whole process entrepreneur (revised for better flow). Throughout the process, I not only obtained gained real-world experiences, experience but also cultivated lots of essential skills such as communication, problem-solving.This experiments communication and problem-solving (revised for clarity). These experiences enable students to be competitive in their future workplace as well as be workplaces and become relatively superior candidate candidates when they search job. searching for jobs (revised for better flow).

Consequently, i highly Therefore, I strongly advocate that students should take ranking rankings into account.account when selecting their college or university as it plays a crucial role in shaping their academic experience and future career opportunities (revised for clarity and natural tone).

8 Mind Map

1. Introduction

   • Importance of university ranking
   • Impact on education quality and job prospects

2. High-quality education

   • Distinguished professors and experts
   • Broadened knowledge beyond coursework

3. Example: NTU Law School

   • Renowned speakers
   • Integration of theory and practice

4. Academic-industry programs

   • Collaboration with prominent businesses
   • Real-world experience and skill development

5. Personal example: Internship experience

   • Communication and problem-solving skills
   • Competitive advantage in job market

6. Conclusion

   • Advocacy for considering rankings
   • Influence on academic experience and career opportunities

9 Key Words

6 Revised Essay

In my opinion, the ranking of a university should be a significant factor when students choose which college or university to attend. This is because a high-ranking institution often correlates with a high-quality education and directly impacts students' future job prospects.

Firstly, prestigious universities often offer top-notch programs with distinguished professors and experts, which broadens students' knowledge beyond regular coursework. For instance, at NTU, the highest-ranking university in Taiwan, their law school frequently hosts speeches by renowned lawyers, judges, and attorneys. During these events, speakers share their professional perspectives and personal analyses. By attending these programs, students can integrate abstract conceptual lessons with practical experiences.

Secondly, prominent businesses are more inclined to launch academic-industry programs with well-known universities. For example, during my university years, I applied for an internship launched by our department in collaboration with a local entrepreneur. Throughout the process, I not only gained real-world experience but also cultivated essential skills such as communication and problem-solving. These experiences enable students to be competitive in their future workplaces and become relatively superior candidates when searching for jobs.

Therefore, I strongly advocate that students should take rankings into account when selecting their college or university as it plays a crucial role in shaping their academic experience and future career opportunities.