TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Do you find them useful when deciding whether or not to buy a product or service? Why or why not?
إجابات حقيقية من المستخدمين مع تقييم وملاحظات مدعومة بالذكاء الاصطناعي
يتوفر 2 نموذج مُقدَّم من المستخدمين
ابدأ التدريب المجانينظرة عامة على المهمة
Professor Gupta
We are looking this week at different ways businesses market their products and services especially nontraditional methods. One thing that marketers pay close attention to is online reviews of their products. A business might include customer reviews on their website or carefully monitor the reviews on third-party sites. I would like you to discuss your own experiences with online reviews. Do you find them useful when deciding whether or not to buy a product or service? Why or why not?
Student A Claire
I think online reviews are a great source of information because they are written by ordinary customers who are like me. For instance, when I read a restaurant review by a professional food critic, I'm not interested in some of the details that are included, like how the food is prepared. I'm more interested in aspects like the quality of the food and the service, which regular customers usually comment on.
Student B Andrew
To me, online reviews have some real problems. First, people are more likely to post reviews after a bad experience than after a good one. As a result, what you read is often weighted toward the negative. Also, you have no way of knowing whether reviewers know what they are talking about or even if they actually bought and used the product they are reviewing.
نماذج المستخدمين ونتائج التقييم
1نموذج مستخدم #1
I concur with Claire’s perspective that reading online reviews is actually an effective strategy for people to buy a product or a service. This convic...
الدرجة25
نموذج مستخدم #1
I concur with Claire’s perspective that reading online reviews is actually an effective strategy for people to buy a product or a service. This convic...
نموذج مستخدم
I concur with Claire’s perspective that reading online reviews is actually an effective strategy for people to buy a product or a service. This conviction is primarily due to online reviews that incorporating different kinds of information and using experiences from customers can offer substantial evaluations of a specific product. And these information is quite essential to make an decision effectively. Take myself as an example. When I was a graduate student, I need to buy a computer that can meet my needs such as making graphs and forms of budget or presentation. After I viewed sufficient online reviews about others recommendations, using experiences, and if it worth the price, I chose to buy Apple Macbook within a day rather than spent a lot of time on contrasting different computers for a week. And it supported my requirements well. Therefore, I firmly believe that online reviews are useful though it might expressing negative quality.
نتيجة التقييم
1. 子项得分
-
Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5
-
Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0
-
Language Use and Grammar: 3.5
2. 预估分数
25. 3 任务完成度
这篇文章在回答问题方面做得相当不错,能够明确表达观点并举例说明。但是,为了更好地完成任务,建议在以下方面进行改进:首先,在引用学生A和学生B的观点时,可以对他们的论据进行更详细的分析和讨论。其次,在语言使用和语法方面需要注意一些错误,并尽量使用更丰富的词汇和句式。
示例1: Instead of "Take myself as an example.", you can write "For instance, when I was in need of a computer as a graduate student, I found online reviews to be extremely helpful."
示例2: Instead of "And it supported my requirements well.", you can write "The MacBook I purchased based on the reviews not only met but exceeded my expectations."
4. 文章结构与组织
从组织结构上看,这篇文章基本上具备了清晰的结构,包括引言、正文和结论。然而,在以下方面仍有改进空间:首先,可以在引言部分简要介绍两位学生的观点,并明确自己将支持哪一方。其次,在正文部分,可以逐一讨论支持自己观点的论据,并在每个段落中使用明确的过渡词。最后,在结论部分,可以总结全文观点并给出一个更有力的结尾。
示例1: In the introduction, you can write "In this essay, I will discuss my agreement with Claire's view on the usefulness of online reviews and provide examples to support my stance."
示例2: For a clearer transition between ideas, you can write "Another reason why I find online reviews useful is that they provide a diverse range of opinions from various customers, allowing me to make a more informed decision."
5. 语法批改
I concur with Claire’s perspective that reading online reviews is actually an effective strategy for people to buy a product or a service. This conviction is primarily due to online reviews that incorporating different kinds of information and using experiences from customers can offer substantial evaluations of a specific product. And these informationthis information('this' vs. 'these') is quite essential to make ana(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') decision effectively. Take myself as an example. When I was a graduate student, I need to buy a computer that can meet my needs such as making graphs and forms of budget or presentation. After I viewed sufficient online reviews about others recommendations, using experiences, and if it worthit is worth(He scary (He is scary)) the price, I chose to buy Apple MacbookMacBook(misspelling) within a day rather than spent a lot of time on contrasting different computers for a week. And it supported my requirements well. Therefore, I firmly believe that online reviews are useful though it might expressingexpress(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) negative quality.
Section Title: The Utility of Online Reviews in Decision-Making
In agreement with Claire's viewpoint, I believe that utilizing online reviews is an effective approach when considering the purchase of a product or service. This belief stems from the fact that online reviews encompass diverse information and insights from customers, providing comprehensive evaluations of specific products. Such information is crucial for making well-informed decisions. For instance, as a graduate student, I needed to purchase a computer capable of creating graphs and handling budgeting tasks or presentations. By examining numerous online reviews detailing others' recommendations, user experiences, and assessments of value for money, I was able to confidently choose an Apple MacBook within a day instead of spending an entire week comparing various computers. Ultimately, the MacBook met my needs perfectly. Consequently, despite the potential for negative feedback, I maintain that online reviews are indeed valuable resources in the decision-making process. (149 words)
I concur Revised essay: Section Title: The Utility of Online Reviews in Decision-Making
In agreement with Claire’s perspective Claire's viewpoint (rephrased for clarity and to sound more natural), I believe that reading utilizing online reviews is actually an effective strategy for people to buy approach when considering the purchase of a product or a service. This conviction is primarily due to online reviews belief stems from the fact that incorporating different kinds of online reviews encompass diverse information and using experiences (reworded for better flow) and insights from customers can offer substantial customers, providing comprehensive evaluations of a specific product. And these products. Such information is quite essential to make an decision effectively. Take myself crucial for making well-informed decisions (rephrased to sound more natural). For instance, as an example. When I was a graduate student, I need to buy needed to purchase a computer that can meet capable of creating graphs and handling budgeting tasks or presentations. By examining numerous online reviews detailing others' recommendations, user experiences, and assessments of value for money (rephrased to improve readability), I was able to confidently choose an Apple MacBook within a day instead of spending an entire week comparing various computers (reworded for better flow). Ultimately, the MacBook met my needs such as making graphs and forms of budget or presentation. After I viewed sufficient online reviews about others recommendations, using experiences, and if it worth the price, I chose to buy Apple Macbook within a day rather than spent a lot of time on contrasting different computers for a week. And it supported my requirements well. Therefore, I firmly believe perfectly. Consequently, despite the potential for negative feedback (rephrased to sound more natural), I maintain that online reviews are useful though it might expressing negative quality.indeed valuable resources in the decision-making process (reworded for clarity).
8 思维导图
1. The Utility of Online Reviews in Decision-Making
1.1 Agreement with Claire's viewpoint
1.2 Diverse information and insights from customers
1.2.1 Comprehensive evaluations of products
1.2.2 Crucial for well-informed decisions
1.3 Personal example: graduate student purchasing a computer
1.3.1 Examining online reviews for recommendations, user experiences, and value for money assessments
1.3.2 Choosing an Apple MacBook within a day instead of a week
1.3.3 MacBook meeting needs perfectly
1.4 Conclusion: online reviews as valuable resources in decision-making process despite potential negative feedback
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English definition | Simplified Chinese translation | Sample sentences |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| utility | /juːˈtɪlɪti/ | noun | the state of being useful, profitable, or beneficial | 实用性 | Online reviews have great utility in decision-making processes |
| encompass | /ɪnˈkʌmpəs/ | verb | to include or contain within its scope | 包含 | Online reviews encompass diverse information and insights from customers |
| comprehensive | /ˌkɒmprɪˈhensɪv/ | adjective | complete; including all or nearly all elements or aspects | 全面的 | Online reviews provide comprehensive evaluations of specific products |
| well-informed | /wɛl ɪnˈfɔrmd/ | adjective | having or showing much knowledge or understanding about a subject | 见多识广的 | Such information is crucial for making well-informed decisions |
| assessment | /əˈsɛsmənt/ | noun | the act of judging or deciding the amount, value, quality, or importance of something | 评估 | I examined online reviews for their assessments of value for money |
| recommendation | /ˌrɛkəmɛnˈdeɪʃən/ | noun | a suggestion or proposal as to the best course of action, especially one put forward by an authoritative body | 推荐 | Online reviews often contain helpful recommendations from other users |
| user experience | /ˈjuːzər ɪkˈspɪriəns/ | noun | the overall experience of a person using a product such as a website or computer application, especially in terms of how easy or pleasing it is to use | 用户体验 | I considered the user experiences shared in online reviews before making my decision |
| value for money | /ˌvæljuː fər ˈmʌni/ | noun | something worth what you pay for it | 性价比 | Online reviews can help determine if a product offers good value for money |
| decision-making | /dɪˈsɪʒən ˌmeɪkɪŋ/ | noun | the act of deciding about something important, especially in a group of people with power to do this | 决策过程 | Online reviews are valuable resources in the decision-making process |
2نموذج مستخدم #2
In response to professor’s thought-provoking question, I firmly believe that the airline should not impose environmental tax on air travel. First, I c...
الدرجة20
نموذج مستخدم #2
In response to professor’s thought-provoking question, I firmly believe that the airline should not impose environmental tax on air travel. First, I c...
نموذج مستخدم
In response to professor’s thought-provoking question, I firmly believe that the airline should not impose environmental tax on air travel. First, I concur with Claire’s perspective that extra taxes would not yield substantial benefits on solving air pollution problem and instead increase airplane prices without addressing environmental issues. Furthermore, I would like to emphasize that the increased airplane price would only exacerbate passengers’ financial stress. For instance, a working-class dad who struggling to make ends meet cannot afford the additional price on air travel of a common family trip any longer since this may exceed their already tight budget. While Andrew’s argument regarding the potential positive effects on imposing environmental tax on air travel holds the merits, it overlooks the fact that it may cause people to in search for other time-consuming transportation rather than the efficient one. This may lead people to waste their time or even miss the gold time of some events such as taking an important exam and meeting a family member in a sick bed. Therefore, envying additional tax probably proves no such beneficial.
نتيجة التقييم
1. 子项得分
-
Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 2.5
-
Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.0
-
Language Use and Grammar: 3.5
2. 预估分数
20. 3 任务完成度
这篇文章没有完全按照题目要求进行讨论。题目要求讨论在线评论对购买产品或服务的决策是否有用,但文章却讨论了关于航空旅行的环境税问题。为了提高任务完成度,建议重新审阅题目要求,并针对题目进行讨论。
改进示例1(英文): In my opinion, online reviews are useful when deciding whether or not to buy a product or service because they provide valuable insights from other customers who have already tried the product.
改进示例2(英文): However, I also believe that it is important to be cautious when relying on online reviews, as some reviews might be biased or fake, which could lead to making an uninformed decision.
4. 文章结构与组织
文章结构方面,虽然有简单的引言、主体和结论,但整体组织不够清晰。每段落应该集中讨论一个特定观点,并提供支持细节。同时,在段落和观点之间需要明确的过渡。
改进建议(简体中文): 为了提高文章结构和组织,建议在引言部分明确提出自己的观点,并在主体部分分段阐述观点。同时,使用过渡词和短语来连接不同的观点和段落。
改进示例1(英文): Firstly, online reviews provide valuable insights from other customers who have already tried the product, which can help potential buyers make informed decisions.
改进示例2(英文): On the other hand, it is crucial to be cautious when relying on online reviews, as some reviews might be biased or fake. Therefore, it is essential to cross-check the information from multiple sources before making a final decision.
5. 语法批改
In response to professor’s thought-provoking question, I firmly believe that the airline should not impose environmentalan environmental(This rule identifies whether the article 'an' is missing in a sentence.) tax on air travel. First, I concur with Claire’s perspective that extra taxes would not yield substantial benefits on solving airthe air(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) pollution problem and instead increase airplane prices without addressing environmental issues. Furthermore, I would like to emphasize that the increased airplane price would only exacerbate passengers’ financial stress. For instance, a working-class dad who struggling to make ends meet cannot afford the additional price on air travel of a common family trip any longerlonger,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) since this may exceed their already tight budget. While Andrew’s argument regarding the potential positive effects onof(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) imposing environmental tax on air travel holds the merits, it overlooks the fact that it may cause people to in search for other time-consuming transportation rather than the efficient one. This may lead people to waste their time or even miss the gold time of some eventsevents,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) such as taking an important exam and meeting a family member in a sick bed. Therefore, envying additional tax probably proves no such beneficial.
Section Title: 6 Article Revision
In response to Professor Gupta's thought-provoking question, I firmly believe that airlines should not impose an environmental tax on air travel. Firstly, I concur with Claire's perspective that additional taxes would not yield substantial benefits in solving the air pollution problem and would instead increase airplane ticket prices without addressing environmental issues. Furthermore, I would like to emphasize that the increased cost of air travel would only exacerbate passengers' financial stress. For instance, a working-class father struggling to make ends meet may no longer afford the additional expense of a family trip by air, as it may exceed their already tight budget. While Andrew's argument regarding the potential positive effects of imposing an environmental tax on air travel holds merit, it overlooks the fact that this may cause people to seek alternative, time-consuming transportation options rather than efficient ones. Consequently, individuals might waste valuable time or even miss crucial opportunities such as taking an important exam or visiting a family member in a hospital bed. Therefore, imposing additional taxes is unlikely to prove beneficial in this context. (182 words)
In response to professor’s Professor Gupta's thought-provoking question, question (added the professor's name for clarity), I firmly believe that the airline airlines should not impose an environmental tax on air travel. First, travel (corrected "the airline" to "airlines" and "impose environmental tax" to "impose an environmental tax"). Firstly, I concur with Claire’s Claire's perspective that extra additional taxes would not yield substantial benefits on in solving the air pollution problem and would instead increase airplane ticket prices without addressing environmental issues. issues (rephrased for better flow). Furthermore, I would like to emphasize that the increased airplane price cost of air travel would only exacerbate passengers’ passengers' financial stress. For instance, a working-class dad who father struggling to make ends meet cannot may no longer afford the additional price on air travel expense of a common family trip any longer since this by air, as it may exceed their already tight budget. budget (corrected "dad who struggling" to "father struggling" and rephrased for better flow). While Andrew’s Andrew's argument regarding the potential positive effects on of imposing an environmental tax on air travel holds the merits, merit, it overlooks the fact that it this may cause people to in search for other seek alternative, time-consuming transportation options rather than the efficient one. This may lead people to ones (rephrased for clarity). Consequently, individuals might waste their valuable time or even miss the gold time of some events crucial opportunities such as taking an important exam and meeting or visiting a family member in a sick bed. hospital bed (rephrased for better flow). Therefore, envying imposing additional taxes is unlikely to prove beneficial in this context (corrected "envying additional tax probably proves no such beneficial.beneficial" to "imposing additional taxes is unlikely to prove beneficial in this context").
8 思维导图
- 不征收环境税
- 增加机票价格
- 不解决环境问题
- 加重乘客负担
- 工薪阶层无法承受
- 寻求其他交通方式
- 时间浪费
- 错过重要机会
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English definition | Simplified Chinese translation | Sample sentences |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| environmental | /ɪnˌvaɪrənˈmɛntəl/ | adjective | relating to the natural world and its protection | 环境的 | Imposing an environmental tax on air travel may not effectively address environmental issues. |
| tax | /tæks/ | noun | a compulsory contribution to state revenue | 税 | Airlines should not impose an environmental tax on air travel. |
| pollution | /pəˈluʃən/ | noun | the presence of harmful substances in the air | 污染 | Additional taxes would not yield substantial benefits in solving the air pollution problem. |
| exacerbate | /ɪgˈzæsərbeɪt/ | verb | make a problem worse | 加剧 | The increased cost of air travel would only exacerbate passengers' financial stress. |
| working-class | /ˈwɜrkɪŋ klæs/ | adjective | relating to people who work in manual jobs | 工薪阶层的 | A working-class father may no longer afford the additional expense of a family trip by air. |
| alternative | /ɔlˈtɜrnətɪv/ | noun | a different option or choice | 可供选择的,替代的 | People may seek alternative, time-consuming transportation options. |
| time-consuming | /taɪm kənˈsju mɪŋ/ | adjective | taking a lot of time | 耗时的 | Alternative transportation options can be more time-consuming than air travel. |
| opportunity | /ˌɑpərˈtunəti/ | noun | a chance for progress or advancement | 机会 | Individuals might miss crucial opportunities such as taking an important exam. |
| efficient | /ɪˈfɪʃənt/ | adjective | achieving maximum productivity with minimum waste | 高效的 | Imposing an environmental tax may cause people to seek less efficient transportation options. |
| beneficial | /ˌbɛnəˈfɪʃəl/ | adjective | resulting in good or helpful effects | 有益的 | Imposing additional taxes is unlikely to prove beneficial in this context. |
Section Title: 6 Article Revision
In response to Professor Gupta's thought-provoking question, I firmly believe that airlines should not impose an environmental tax on air travel. Firstly, I concur with Claire's perspective that additional taxes would not yield substantial benefits in solving the air pollution problem and would instead increase airplane ticket prices without addressing environmental issues. Furthermore, I would like to emphasize that the increased cost of air travel would only exacerbate passengers' financial stress. For instance, a working-class father struggling to make ends meet may no longer afford the additional expense of a family trip by air, as it may exceed their already tight budget. While Andrew's argument regarding the potential positive effects of imposing an environmental tax on air travel holds merit, it overlooks the fact that this may cause people to seek alternative, time-consuming transportation options rather than efficient ones. Consequently, individuals might waste valuable time or even miss crucial opportunities such as taking an important exam or visiting a family member in a hospital bed. Therefore, imposing additional taxes is unlikely to prove beneficial in this context.
كيف يتم تقييم النقاش الأكاديمي
يتم تقييم مهمة النقاش الأكاديمي في TOEFL بناءً على معايير التقييم الرسمية من ETS. يحلل تقييم الذكاء الاصطناعي كل إجابة عبر عدة أبعاد.
الصلة والمساهمة
هل تعالج الإجابة ا لسؤال وتُقدّم مساهمة ذات معنى في النقاش؟
استخدام اللغة
دقة القواعد، وتنوّع المفردات، وجودة بنية الجمل.
التطوير والدعم
هل تم تطوير الأفكار بشكل جيد باستخدام أمثلة محددة وتعليل واضح؟
الأنماط الشائعة في الإجابات
استنادًا إلى تحليل نماذج المستخدمين لهذه المهمة، إليك الأنماط الشائعة الملاحظة في إجابات الطلاب.
يقدّم كثير من الطلاب آراءً واضحة لكنهم يفتقرون إلى أمثلة داعمة محددة.
تشير الإجابات القوية مباشرةً إلى نص القراءة ووجهات نظر المتحدثين الآخرين.
تستخدم الإجابات ذات الدرجات الأعلى بنى جُمَلية متنوعة ومفردات أكاديمية.
إدارة الوقت عامل أساسي — الإجابات التي تبدو متسرعة تحصل غالبًا على درجة أقل في التطوير.
نصائح للتعلم
اقرأ السؤال بعناية وحدّد جميع أجزائه قبل البدء بالكتابة.
أشر في إجابتك إلى نص القراءة وآراء الطلاب الآخرين.
استخدم أمثلة محددة لدعم فكرتك الرئيسية — تجنّب العبارات العامة.
استهدف 120-150 كلمة. الإجابة الأطول ليست دائمًا أفضل؛ فالوضوح والتركيز أهم.
تدرّب على إجابات محددة الوقت (10 دقائق) لبناء الطلاقة في ظروف الاختبار.
الأسئلة الشائعة
ما هي مهمة المناقشة الأكاديمية في TOEFL؟
كيف يتم تقييم مهمة المناقشة الأكاديمية؟
ما هي عينات المستخدمين الموجودة في هذه الصفحة؟
ما مدى دقة تقييم الذكاء الاصطناعي؟
كيف يمكنني التدرب على مهمة المناقشة الأكاديمية هذه؟
ما الطول المناسب لإجابة المناقشة الأكاديمية؟
مهام أخرى للنقاش الأكاديمي في TOEFL
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مهام أخرى للنقاش الأكاديمي في TOEFL
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