TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Do you find them useful when deciding whether or not to buy a product or service? Why or why not?
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Professor Gupta
We are looking this week at different ways businesses market their products and services especially nontraditional methods. One thing that marketers pay close attention to is online reviews of their products. A business might include customer reviews on their website or carefully monitor the reviews on third-party sites. I would like you to discuss your own experiences with online reviews. Do you find them useful when deciding whether or not to buy a product or service? Why or why not?
Student A Claire
I think online reviews are a great source of information because they are written by ordinary customers who are like me. For instance, when I read a restaurant review by a professional food critic, I'm not interested in some of the details that are included, like how the food is prepared. I'm more interested in aspects like the quality of the food and the service, which regular customers usually comment on.
Student B Andrew
To me, online reviews have some real problems. First, people are more likely to post reviews after a bad experience than after a good one. As a result, what you read is often weighted toward the negative. Also, you have no way of knowing whether reviewers know what they are talking about or even if they actually bought and used the product they are reviewing.
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I concur with Claire’s perspective that reading online reviews is actually an effective strategy for people to buy a product or a service. This conviction is primarily due to online reviews that incorporating different kinds of information and using experiences from customers can offer substantial evaluations of a specific product. And these information is quite essential to make an decision effectively. Take myself as an example. When I was a graduate student, I need to buy a computer that can meet my needs such as making graphs and forms of budget or presentation. After I viewed sufficient online reviews about others recommendations, using experiences, and if it worth the price, I chose to buy Apple Macbook within a day rather than spent a lot of time on contrasting different computers for a week. And it supported my requirements well. Therefore, I firmly believe that online reviews are useful though it might expressing negative quality.
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1. 子项得分
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Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5
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Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0
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Language Use and Grammar: 3.5
2. 预估分数
25. 3 任务完成度
这篇文章在回答问题方面做得相当不错,能够明确表达观点并举例说明。但是,为了更好地完成任务,建议在以下方面进行改进:首先,在引用学生A和学生B的观点时,可以对他们的论据进行更详细的分析和讨论。其次,在语言使用和语法方面需要注意一些错误,并尽量使用更丰富的词汇和句式。
示例1: Instead of "Take myself as an example.", you can write "For instance, when I was in need of a computer as a graduate student, I found online reviews to be extremely helpful."
示例2: Instead of "And it supported my requirements well.", you can write "The MacBook I purchased based on the reviews not only met but exceeded my expectations."
4. 文章结构与组织
从组织结构上看,这篇文章基本上具备了清晰的结构,包括引言、正文和结论。然而,在以下方面仍有改进空间:首先,可以在引言部分简要介绍两位学生的观点,并明确自己将支持哪一方。其次,在正文部分,可以逐一讨论支持自己观点的论据,并在每个段落中使用明确的过渡词。最后,在结论部分,可以总结全文观点并给出一个更有力的结尾。
示例1: In the introduction, you can write "In this essay, I will discuss my agreement with Claire's view on the usefulness of online reviews and provide examples to support my stance."
示例2: For a clearer transition between ideas, you can write "Another reason why I find online reviews useful is that they provide a diverse range of opinions from various customers, allowing me to make a more informed decision."
5. 语法批改
I concur with Claire’s perspective that reading online reviews is actually an effective strategy for people to buy a product or a service. This conviction is primarily due to online reviews that incorporating different kinds of information and using experiences from customers can offer substantial evaluations of a specific product. And these informationthis information('this' vs. 'these') is quite essential to make ana(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') decision effectively. Take myself as an example. When I was a graduate student, I need to buy a computer that can meet my needs such as making graphs and forms of budget or presentation. After I viewed sufficient online reviews about others recommendations, using experiences, and if it worthit is worth(He scary (He is scary)) the price, I chose to buy Apple MacbookMacBook(misspelling) within a day rather than spent a lot of time on contrasting different computers for a week. And it supported my requirements well. Therefore, I firmly believe that online reviews are useful though it might expressingexpress(Non-infinitive verb after modal verbs) negative quality.
Section Title: The Utility of Online Reviews in Decision-Making
In agreement with Claire's viewpoint, I believe that utilizing online reviews is an effective approach when considering the purchase of a product or service. This belief stems from the fact that online reviews encompass diverse information and insights from customers, providing comprehensive evaluations of specific products. Such information is crucial for making well-informed decisions. For instance, as a graduate student, I needed to purchase a computer capable of creating graphs and handling budgeting tasks or presentations. By examining numerous online reviews detailing others' recommendations, user experiences, and assessments of value for money, I was able to confidently choose an Apple MacBook within a day instead of spending an entire week comparing various computers. Ultimately, the MacBook met my needs perfectly. Consequently, despite the potential for negative feedback, I maintain that online reviews are indeed valuable resources in the decision-making process. (149 words)
I concur Revised essay: Section Title: The Utility of Online Reviews in Decision-Making
In agreement with Claire’s perspective Claire's viewpoint (rephrased for clarity and to sound more natural), I believe that reading utilizing online reviews is actually an effective strategy for people to buy approach when considering the purchase of a product or a service. This conviction is primarily due to online reviews belief stems from the fact that incorporating different kinds of online reviews encompass diverse information and using experiences (reworded for better flow) and insights from customers can offer substantial customers, providing comprehensive evaluations of a specific product. And these products. Such information is quite essential to make an decision effectively. Take myself crucial for making well-informed decisions (rephrased to sound more natural). For instance, as an example. When I was a graduate student, I need to buy needed to purchase a computer that can meet capable of creating graphs and handling budgeting tasks or presentations. By examining numerous online reviews detailing others' recommendations, user experiences, and assessments of value for money (rephrased to improve readability), I was able to confidently choose an Apple MacBook within a day instead of spending an entire week comparing various computers (reworded for better flow). Ultimately, the MacBook met my needs such as making graphs and forms of budget or presentation. After I viewed sufficient online reviews about others recommendations, using experiences, and if it worth the price, I chose to buy Apple Macbook within a day rather than spent a lot of time on contrasting different computers for a week. And it supported my requirements well. Therefore, I firmly believe perfectly. Consequently, despite the potential for negative feedback (rephrased to sound more natural), I maintain that online reviews are useful though it might expressing negative quality.indeed valuable resources in the decision-making process (reworded for clarity).
8 思维导图
1. The Utility of Online Reviews in Decision-Making
1.1 Agreement with Claire's viewpoint
1.2 Diverse information and insights from customers
1.2.1 Comprehensive evaluations of products
1.2.2 Crucial for well-informed decisions
1.3 Personal example: graduate student purchasing a computer
1.3.1 Examining online reviews for recommendations, user experiences, and value for money assessments
1.3.2 Choosing an Apple MacBook within a day instead of a week
1.3.3 MacBook meeting needs perfectly
1.4 Conclusion: online reviews as valuable resources in decision-making process despite potential negative feedback
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English definition | Simplified Chinese translation | Sample sentences |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| utility | /juːˈtɪlɪti/ | noun | the state of being useful, profitable, or beneficial | 实用性 | Online reviews have great utility in decision-making processes |
| encompass | /ɪnˈkʌmpəs/ | verb | to include or contain within its scope | 包含 | Online reviews encompass diverse information and insights from customers |
| comprehensive | /ˌkɒmprɪˈhensɪv/ | adjective | complete; including all or nearly all elements or aspects | 全面的 | Online reviews provide comprehensive evaluations of specific products |
| well-informed | /wɛl ɪnˈfɔrmd/ | adjective | having or showing much knowledge or understanding about a subject | 见多识广的 | Such information is crucial for making well-informed decisions |
| assessment | /əˈsɛsmənt/ | noun | the act of judging or deciding the amount, value, quality, or importance of something | 评估 | I examined online reviews for their assessments of value for money |
| recommendation | /ˌrɛkəmɛnˈdeɪʃən/ | noun | a suggestion or proposal as to the best course of action, especially one put forward by an authoritative body | 推荐 | Online reviews often contain helpful recommendations from other users |
| user experience | /ˈjuːzər ɪkˈspɪriəns/ | noun | the overall experience of a person using a product such as a website or computer application, especially in terms of how easy or pleasing it is to use | 用户体验 | I considered the user experiences shared in online reviews before making my decision |
| value for money | /ˌvæljuː fər ˈmʌni/ | noun | something worth what you pay for it | 性价比 | Online reviews can help determine if a product offers good value for money |
| decision-making | /dɪˈsɪʒən ˌmeɪkɪŋ/ | noun | the act of deciding about something important, especially in a group of people with power to do this | 决策过程 | Online reviews are valuable resources in the decision-making process |
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