TOEFL TPO 27 Speaking Task 4 Sample: Using the examples from the lecture, explain two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand.

1.子项得分

• Delivery: 3

• Language Use: 2.5

• Topic Development: 3

2.预估分数

• 22

3.表达 在回答中，发音大部分清晰，但有些地方需要改进。例如，“Atacritus”应该是“aqueducts”。此外，尽量减少不必要的停顿，让语言更流畅。建议多加练习，提高发音准确度和语言流利度。

4.话题发展 The response is mostly coherent and well-organized, but there are some areas for improvement. The first development, concrete, is explained well, but the second development should be referred to as "aqueducts" instead of "Atacritus." Additionally, try to provide more specific examples or details about how these developments allowed Roman cities to expand. For example, you could mention how aqueducts allowed cities to be built in locations far from rivers and still have access to fresh water. Overall, work on using accurate terminology and providing more detailed explanations to improve topic development.

5.语言使用

Original Answer: The first thing allows ancient Romans to expand so rapidly is concrete. The concrete of the buildings make the Romans can build some new structures like bridges. And the bridges made the Romans expand more rapidly because they can pass the river by the bridges. And not like the other civilizations, they cannot even pass the river so efficiently. And second, the Romans invented the channel which is called the Atacritus. And the Atacritus makes the Romans could get water from the mountain and live far away from the river, which often gives them water resources as we all know. And that allows them to live far away from the river so that they can expand.

Corrected Answer: The first development that allowed ancient Romans to expand rapidly was their advanced concrete technology. This enabled them to construct new structures such as bridges, which facilitated their expansion across rivers more efficiently than other civilizations. The second development was their invention of aqueducts, which allowed them to transport water from mountain sources and live far away from rivers, providing essential water resources for their growing cities. (将“thing”改为“development”，更准确地描述罗马的发展；将“make”改为“enabled”，使句子结构更自然；将“Atacritus”改为“aqueducts”，纠正单词拼写；简化句子，使语言更自然流畅。)

Revised Answer (140 words): The first development that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand rapidly was their advanced concrete technology. This innovative material enabled them to construct durable and robust structures such as bridges, which facilitated their expansion across rivers more efficiently than other civilizations at that time. These bridges allowed the transportation of equipment and materials, enabling Roman cities to grow on both sides of the river. The second development was their invention of aqueducts, an ingenious system of open channels that transported water from mountain sources to cities. These aqueducts provided a steady flow of fresh water over great distances, even to places far from rivers. As a result, Roman cities could be built in new locations and still have access to essential water resources for drinking and bathing, allowing them to grow larger and expand further than ever before.

6.思维导图

• Ancient Roman Cities Expansion
  • Advanced Concrete Technology
    • New Structures
      • Bridges
        • Efficient Expansion across Rivers
  • Invention of Aqueducts
    • Open Channels
      • Water Transportation from Mountain Sources
        • Cities Built Far from Rivers
          • Access to Essential Water Resources

7.关键词

1.Sub Scores

• Delivery: 3

• Language Use: 3

• Topic Development: 3

2.Estimated Scores

• Total Score: 23

3.Delivery The speaker's delivery is generally clear and fluid, but there are some occasional pauses that could be reduced. Additionally, some words were mispronounced, such as "hearths" instead of "hardens." To improve, the speaker should practice speaking more consistently and work on their pronunciation of certain words.

4.Topic Development The response is coherent and well-organized, with clear connections between ideas. However, the speaker could provide more specific examples or details to better support their points. For example, they could mention the Roman bridges and aqueducts as specific examples of the advancements that allowed Roman cities to expand. To improve topic development, the speaker should focus on providing more concrete examples and elaborating on their points.

5.Language Use

Original Answer: First, they have building materials, concrete slabs can become hearths, so that they can make bridges to transport items or commodities through wagons. And also, it connects different parts of the towns to remove the natural barriers. They also have the ability to transport fresh water, for example, they can use open tunnels to transport fresh water from mountains to cities, to satisfy the daily demands for water. So that they don't have to use their cities near rivers, enabling them to expand the cities.

Corrected Answer: First, they had advanced building materials(added "advanced" for clarity); concrete slabs could become hearthsharden underwater(corrected "become hearths" to "harden underwater" for accuracy), allowing them to construct bridges for transporting goods via wagons. This connected different parts of the cities and overcame natural barriers. They also developed a method for transporting fresh water(rephrased for clarity); they used open tunnelsaqueducts(corrected "open tunnels" to "aqueducts" for accuracy) to bring water from mountains to cities, meeting daily water needs. This eliminated the need for cities to be located near rivers and enabled expansion.

Revised 140-word Answer: The ancient Romans had two key developments that allowed their cities to expand. First, they had advanced building materials, such as concrete that could harden underwater. This innovation enabled them to construct sturdy bridges for transporting goods via wagons, connecting different parts of the cities and overcoming natural barriers like rivers. Second, they developed an efficient method for transporting fresh water using aqueducts. These structures carried water from mountain sources to cities, meeting the daily water needs of the population. As a result, Roman cities were no longer restricted to being located near rivers, allowing for greater expansion and growth. These advancements in building materials and water transportation systems significantly contributed to the expansion of ancient Roman cities, setting them apart from other cities of the ancient world.

6.Mind Map

- Ancient Roman Cities Expansion
  - Advanced Building Materials
    - Concrete hardening underwater
    - Sturdy bridges
      - Transporting goods via wagons
      - Connecting city parts
      - Overcoming natural barriers (rivers)
  - Efficient Water Transportation
    - Aqueducts
      - Bringing water from mountains to cities
      - Meeting daily water needs
    - No need for cities near rivers
    - Greater expansion and growth

7.Key Words

1.子项得分

• 交付：3

• 语言使用：3

• 话题发展：3

2.预估分数

• 总分：23

3.表达 从交付方面来看，回答基本上是清晰的，但有时候语速不太稳定，偶尔出现停顿。为了提高交付能力，建议练习更流利、稳定的语速，并尽量减少不必要的停顿。此外，注意正确发音，以避免拼写错误。

4.话题发展 从话题发展方面来看，回答内容基本上是连贯和组织良好的，但在一些地方可以更加明确地表达观点。例如，在解释罗马桥梁的优势时，可以更详细地描述这种特殊混凝土如何使桥梁更加坚固。同时，在谈到引水渠时，可以强调它们是如何精心规划和建造的，以确保水源稳定。总之，为了提高话题发展能力，请尝试在回答中提供更多具体细节和例子。

5.语言使用

原文：Well, the professor explained two developments that allow ancient Roman cities to expand. First, Romans have an advantage in building materials, comets. And comets are hot underwater, so that people can build better bridges that can cross white rivers. And after that, Romans can transport equipment and materials across rivers, so they can build cities on both sides of rivers. The second strategy is that they can build aqueducts. That aqueducts can move fresh water, and it's an open channel to transport water from high mountains to cities. They can carry tremendously of water, and because of that, humans can have clean water to drink, so they don't need to locate near water.

修正后：Well, the professor explained two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand. First, the Romans had an advantage in building materials, specifically concrete. This concrete hardened underwater, enabling people to construct better bridges that could span wide rivers. As a result, the Romans could transport equipment and materials across rivers and build cities on both sides of them. The second development was the construction of aqueducts. These aqueducts moved fresh water through open channels from high mountains to cities. They could carry tremendous amounts of water, allowing people to have clean drinking water without needing to live near a river.

解释：

• (将"allow"改为"allowed"，以保持时态一致。)

• (将"comets"改为"specifically concrete"，因为原文中的词汇不正确。)

• (将"hot underwater"改为"hardened underwater"，以更准确地描述混凝土的特性。)

• (将"white rivers"改为"wide rivers"，因为原文中的词汇不正确。)

• (将"strategy"改为"development"，以保持一致性。)

• (将"tremendously of water"改为"tremendous amounts of water"，以提高语法准确性。)

• (将"humans can have clean water to drink, so they don't need to locate near water."改为"allowing people to have clean drinking water without needing to live near a river."，以提高表达的自然度。)

修订版（140字）：

The professor explained two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand. Firstly, the Romans had an advantage in building materials, specifically concrete. This concrete hardened underwater, enabling people to construct better bridges that could span wide rivers. As a result, the Romans could transport equipment and materials across rivers and build cities on both sides of them. The second development was the construction of aqueducts. These aqueducts moved fresh water through open channels from high mountains to cities. They could carry tremendous amounts of water, allowing people to have clean drinking water without needing to live near a river.

6.思维导图

- Introduction
  - Two developments

- Development 1
  - Building materials
    - Concrete
      - Hardened underwater
      - Better bridges
        - Span wide rivers
        - Transport equipment and materials
        - Cities on both sides of rivers

- Development 2
  - Aqueducts
    - Open channels
      - Fresh water from high mountains to cities
      - Tremendous amounts of water
      - Clean drinking water without living near a river

7.关键词

1.子项得分

• 交付：3

• 语言使用：3

• 话题发展：3

2.预估分数

• 总分：23

3.表达 在回答中，发音大部分清晰，但在某些地方需要更好地掌握发音。例如，“Asian”应该是“ancient”，以便更准确地传达信息。此外，尝试保持一致的语速并减少不必要的停顿。为了提高口语表达能力，可以多加练习和模仿英语母语者的发音。

4.话题发展 回答内容基本上是连贯和有组织的，但可以进一步改进。首先，在开头部分，应明确指出两个允许古罗马城市扩张的发展是什么，而不是提到亚洲城市。其次，在解释桥梁和渠道时，可以更详细地描述它们如何促使城市扩张。例如，在谈到桥梁时，可以强调它们如何使城市能够在河流两岸发展；在谈到渠道时，可以解释它们如何使城市能够在远离河流的地方建立。通过提供更多详细信息和具体示例，可以使回答更加充实和有说服力。

5.语言使用

原文：In the lecture, the professor explained the two developments that allowed Asian and Roman cities to expand. In the lecture, the professor explained the two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand. (将“Asian”改为“ancient Roman”，以更准确地描述讲座的内容。) The first one is to use the new material. They used the concrete material to construct the bridge. Take the bridge as an example. It can be hardened under the water, and it can cross the wide river. It can transport the equipment and new material. And the second way is to move the fresh clean water. Take the example, they constructed the aqueduct structure. It is the open channel. It can be used to move the water from the high hills to the cities, so the Roman people Roman citizens (将“Roman people”改为“Roman citizens”，使表达更自然。) can get the fresh clean water even from the far away places distant locations (将“far away places”改为“distant locations”，使表达更自然。). So they can use the water to drink and live.

修订版（140词）：

In the lecture, the professor explained two key developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand significantly. The first development was their innovative use of a special concrete material for constructing bridges. These bridges could harden underwater, allowing them to span wide rivers and transport equipment and materials efficiently. As a result, Roman cities could grow on both sides of the river, creating larger urban areas than previously possible. The second development was the invention of aqueducts, which were open channels designed to transport fresh, clean water from high hills to the cities. This system enabled Roman citizens to access clean water for drinking and bathing even in distant locations, far from rivers. Consequently, cities could expand into new areas without being limited by their proximity to water sources. These two advancements played a crucial role in the growth and expansion of ancient Roman cities.

6.思维导图

- Ancient Roman Cities
    - Expansion
        - Development 1: Special Concrete
            - Bridge construction
            - Harden underwater
            - Span wide rivers
            - Transport equipment and materials
        - Development 2: Aqueducts
            - Open channels
            - Transport fresh, clean water
            - From high hills to cities
            - Accessible water in distant locations

7.关键词

1.子项得分

• 交付 (Delivery): 3

• 语言使用 (Language Use): 3

• 话题发展 (Topic Development): 3

2.预估分数

• 总分: 23

3.表达 从交付方面来看，发言者的语言流利，语速较为稳定，仅有少量停顿。为了提高表达能力，建议发言者在练习时注意自己的发音准确性，并尝试减少不必要的停顿。

4.话题发展 从话题发展方面来看，发言者提供了一个连贯且组织良好的回答，并在回答中明确提到了两个罗马城市扩张的关键技术：混凝土和渠道。然而，为了使回答更加完整和有说服力，建议发言者在举例时更具体地描述这些技术是如何促使罗马城市扩张的。例如，在谈到混凝土时，可以提到罗马人如何利用这种材料在河流两岸建造坚固的桥梁，从而使城市得以扩张；在谈到渠道时，可以强调罗马人如何通过精心规划和建造渠道，将远离河流的地区供水，使城市能够在新的地点发展壮大。

5.语言使用

原文：This lecture is mainly about two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand. The lecture discusses two key developments that enabled the expansion of ancient Roman cities. (将句子改为更自然的表达方式) The first technology is concrete, which is an advanced building material. The first development is the use of concrete, an advanced building material. (修改句子结构，使其更自然) For example, ancient Roman cities used this type of material to build bridges. For instance, the Romans utilized this material to construct durable bridges across rivers. (增加细节描述，使句子更具说服力) So, carts and something like that were allowed to pass over a wide river. As a result, wagons and carts could easily cross wide rivers, facilitating the growth of cities on both sides of the river. (详细说明结果，使句子更完整) The second technology is aqueducts, which could move fresh clean water to cities. The second development is the invention of aqueducts, which transported fresh clean water to cities over long distances. (增加细节描述，使句子更具说服力) For instance, ancient Roman cities invited open channels to move fresh water for a long distance. For example, the Romans built carefully planned open channels that carried water from mountain sources to urban areas. (修改句子结构，增加细节描述)

修订版（140词）：

The lecture discusses two key developments that enabled the expansion of ancient Roman cities. The first development is the use of concrete, an advanced building material. For instance, the Romans utilized this material to construct durable bridges across rivers. As a result, wagons and carts could easily cross wide rivers, facilitating the growth of cities on both sides of the river. This allowed Roman cities to grow larger than their counterparts in other ancient civilizations. The second development is the invention of aqueducts, which transported fresh clean water to cities over long distances. For example, the Romans built carefully planned open channels that carried water from mountain sources to urban areas. These aqueducts provided a steady flow of water, enabling cities to develop in locations far from rivers. Consequently, Roman cities could expand and thrive in new locations, contributing to their impressive size and influence.

6.思维导图

- Expansion of Ancient Roman Cities
  - Concrete
    - Advanced building material
    - Durable bridges
    - Facilitate growth on both sides of the river
  - Aqueducts
    - Transport fresh clean water
    - Long distances
    - Carefully planned open channels
    - Enable cities to develop far from rivers

7.关键词

1.子项得分

• 交付 (Delivery): 3

• 语言使用 (Language Use): 3

• 话题发展 (Topic Development): 3

2.预估分数

• 总分: 23

3.表达 从交付方面来看，发言者的语音清晰，语速基本稳定，偶尔有停顿。为了提高交付能力，建议发言者在练习时注意掌握自然的语调和节奏，尽量减少不必要的停顿。此外，注意正确发音以避免拼写错误。

4.话题发展 从话题发展方面来看，发言者提供了一个相对连贯和组织良好的回答，并且明确地给出了两个例子。但是，可以在解释这两个例子时更加详细和具体。例如，在谈到罗马混凝土时，可以提到它如何使得桥梁更加坚固；在谈到引水渠时，可以强调它们如何使得城市能够在远离河流的地方扩张。通过提供更多细节和具体信息，可以使回答更加充实和有说服力。

5.语言使用

原文：Well, the two developments that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand, the first is their advanced technology. The first development that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand was their advanced technology.（将原句中的表述进行了调整，使其更自然。） The advanced technology allowed them to build more advanced materials, such as concrete, which is hardened in the water. This technology enabled them to create advanced materials like concrete, which hardened underwater.（对原句进行了改写，使其更符合英语表达习惯。） They used the concrete to build some bridges, which can allow better and wider go across some more wider rivers from both sides. They used this concrete to construct bridges that could span wider rivers on both sides, allowing for better transportation.（对原句进行了改写，使其更清晰易懂。） And these make people's livings come very, very convenient. This made people's lives much more convenient.（对原句进行了简化，使其更自然。） And the second way is there are more fresh waters through aqueducts. The second development was the introduction of fresh water through aqueducts.（对原句进行了改写，使其更符合英语表达习惯。） They open some channels through aqueducts, and the aqueducts can transfer some water from very high mountains to very low cities from between a large distance. They built channels using aqueducts, which transported water from high mountains to cities over long distances.（对原句进行了改写，使其更清晰易懂。） And the channel allows for some fresh and clean water for people's living, and people can enjoy a more healthy life. These channels provided fresh and clean water for people's daily needs, allowing them to enjoy a healthier lifestyle.（对原句进行了改写，使其更自然。）

修订版（140词）：

The first development that allowed ancient Roman cities to expand was their advanced technology. This technology enabled them to create advanced materials like concrete, which hardened underwater. They used this concrete to construct bridges that could span wider rivers on both sides, allowing for better transportation. This made people's lives much more convenient. The second development was the introduction of fresh water through aqueducts. They built channels using aqueducts, which transported water from high mountains to cities over long distances. These channels provided fresh and clean water for people's daily needs, allowing them to enjoy a healthier lifestyle. With these two developments, Roman cities were able to grow larger and more prosperous than their counterparts in the ancient world.

6.思维导图

- Ancient Roman Cities Expansion
  - Advanced Technology
    - Concrete
      - Hardened underwater
      - Construct bridges
        - Span wider rivers
        - Better transportation
  - Aqueducts
    - Channels
      - Transport water from mountains to cities
      - Long distances
    - Fresh and clean water
      - Daily needs
      - Healthier lifestyle

7.关键词