TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on sociology. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

• Estimated Score: 25

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现较好，但仍有改进的空间。首先，你可以更详细地解释环境税对经济的影响，以及为什么它会导致经济衰退。其次，在提到其他交通方式可能更耗时时，可以给出具体的例子或数据支持你的观点。

Example 1: Instead of saying "higher tickets prices can lead to decrease in tourists," you could provide more details like, "A study has shown that a 10% increase in airfare prices can lead to a 5% decrease in the number of tourists."

Example 2: For the point about other transportation methods being time-consuming, you could say, "Taking a train from city A to city B might take up to three times longer than flying, which could be inconvenient for people with tight schedules or emergencies."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构方面，整体上表现良好。然而，在段落之间加入过渡句子会使文章更连贯。此外，可以在引言部分简要概括你将讨论的观点，以便读者更好地理解文章结构。

Example 1: You could add a transition sentence between the economic recession point and the time-consuming transportation point, like "Another aspect to consider is the convenience of alternative transportation methods."

Example 2: In the introduction, you could briefly mention your main points: "In this essay, I will argue that environmental taxes on air travel would lead to economic recession and inconvenience for travelers due to time-consuming alternative transportation methods."

5. 语法批改

In my personal opinion, I firmly believe that the government should not impose an environmental tax on air travel. I am in strong concurrence with Claire’s perspective that environmental taxing on air travel just simply punish passengers instead of airlines. Apart from what Claire has raised, I would further argue that environmental tax on air travel will definitely result in economic recession. As one might expect, higher tickets prices can lead to decrease in tourists. Although some tourists have a tendency to travel around or abroad, for example, they may feel depressed with a higher tickets prices, ultimately result in economic recession.

While Andrew emphasizes that a higher tickets price might encourage citizens to find a more environmentally friendly way to travel or work, he overlooks the fact that using other kinds of transportation may be more time-consuming, especially for some citizens who have an emergency.

Title: 6 文章修订

In my personal opinion, I firmly believe that the government should not impose an environmental tax on air travel. I concur with Claire's perspective that such a tax would merely punish passengers rather than incentivizing airlines to adopt eco-friendly practices. In addition to Claire's argument, I contend that an environmental tax on air travel could potentially result in economic recession. As one might expect, higher ticket prices may lead to a decrease in tourism. Even though some individuals may still be inclined to travel domestically or internationally, the elevated costs could deter them, ultimately contributing to an economic downturn.

While Andrew posits that increased ticket prices might encourage people to seek more environmentally friendly modes of transportation or work, he fails to consider the fact that alternative forms of transport may be significantly more time-consuming, particularly for those facing urgent situations. (144 words)

In my personal opinion, I firmly believe that the government should not impose an environmental tax on air travel. travel (revised for clarity). I am in strong concurrence concur with Claire’s Claire's perspective that environmental taxing on air travel just simply such a tax would merely punish passengers instead of airlines. Apart from what Claire has raised, rather than incentivizing airlines to adopt eco-friendly practices (rephrased for natural tone). In addition to Claire's argument, I would further argue contend that an environmental tax on air travel will definitely could potentially result in economic recession. recession (revised for conciseness). As one might expect, higher tickets ticket prices can may lead to a decrease in tourists. Although tourism (corrected grammar). Even though some tourists have a tendency individuals may still be inclined to travel around domestically or abroad, internationally, the elevated costs could deter them, ultimately contributing to an economic downturn (rephrased for example, they may feel depressed with a higher tickets prices, ultimately result in economic recession. clarity and natural tone).

While Andrew emphasizes posits that a higher tickets price increased ticket prices might encourage citizens people to find a seek more environmentally friendly way modes of transportation or work (revised for clarity), he fails to travel or work, he overlooks consider the fact that using other kinds alternative forms of transportation transport may be significantly more time-consuming, especially particularly for some citizens who have an emergency.those facing urgent situations (rephrased for natural tone).

8 思维导图

- Government and Environmental Tax
    - Arguments against tax
        - Punishes passengers
        - Doesn't incentivize eco-friendly practices
    - Economic recession
        - Decrease in tourism
        - Elevated costs deter travelers

- Claire's perspective
    - Against environmental tax on air travel

- Andrew's perspective
    - Increased ticket prices encourage alternative transportation
    - Fails to consider time-consuming alternatives and urgent situations

9 关键词