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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on city development. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

AI 기반 평가와 피드백이 포함된 실제 사용자 제출 답안

사용자 제출 예시 2개 이용 가능

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과제 개요

Professor

Dr. Gupta The government needs to be responsible for the urban construction. It is important for the government to provide money for things that are beautiful, not just for things that are practical. Before next class, I want you to consider if this statement is reasonable or not? Why?

Student A

In my opinion, the government should invest in beautiful things, such as art galleries. Thus, it can cultivate the sentiment of citizens, so that people in the rapid development of the society could get a moment of peace. In addition, investment in art-related construction can also strengthen urban culture and civic pride.

Student B

In my opinion, the government should invest in practical things because this kind of construction can quickly improve the quality of life of residents. Investing in stations, schools and hospitals can solve real problems in people's lives. Therefore, I think the government should invest in practical industries rather than beautiful ones.

사용자 예시 및 평가 결과

1

사용자 예시 #1

From my perspective, l tend to support July’s opinion that the government should invest in beautiful things, not just for things that are practical. A...

점수
28

사용자 예시

From my perspective, l tend to support July’s opinion that the government should invest in beautiful things, not just for things that are practical. Aesthetically pleasing and culturally significant features of a city, such as public art, landscaping, and iconic landmarks, are not only visually appealing but also increase tourism and economic benefits. Plus, these efforts can contribute to improving community morale with a sense of pride and belonging. For instance, a vibrant park with well-maintained walking and bicycle paths can encourage more physical activity, which in turn contributes to public health. A meaningful piece of public art, such as a sculpture or mural, can encourage conversation and promote interaction among residents, creating a sense of community. To sum up, a city can benefit a lot from beautiful things.

평가 결과

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5.0

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.5

2. 预估分数

28. 3 任务完成度

总体来说,这篇文章在完成任务方面做得很好。你明确表达了自己的观点,并对此进行了支持。但是,为了更好地回应教授的问题,你可以尝试在论述中加入更多具体的例子和细节。例如,你可以提到一些具体的城市美化项目及其对社区产生的积极影响。

示例1:你可以提到某个城市的著名雕塑或地标建筑,说明它们如何吸引游客并提高当地经济。 示例2:在讨论公园对公共健康的贡献时,可以引用一些数据或研究来支持这一观点。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构清晰,包括引言、正文和结论。每段都集中讨论一个特定观点并提供支持细节。然而,在段落之间加入更明确的过渡词或短语将使文章更连贯。

建议1:在不同观点之间使用过渡词汇,如“此外”、“然而”或“相反”等。 建议2:在正文段落的开头或结尾使用总结性句子,以帮助读者更好地理解你的观点。

示例1:在讨论城市美化项目对社区士气的影响之后,你可以使用过渡词“此外”,然后继续讨论这些项目对公共健康的贡献。 示例2:在结束讨论公共艺术对居民互动的影响时,可以总结说:“因此,公共艺术有助于增强社区凝聚力。”

5. 语法批改

From my perspective, l tend to support July’s opinion that the government should invest in beautiful things, not just for things that are practical. Aesthetically pleasing and culturally significant features of a city, such as public art, landscaping, and iconic landmarks, are not only visually appealing but also increase tourism and economic benefits. Plus, these efforts can contribute to improving community morale with a sense of pride and belonging. For instance, a vibrant park with well-maintained walking and bicycle paths can encourage more physical activity, which in turn contributes to public health. A meaningful piece of public art, such as a sculpture or mural, can encourage conversation and promote interaction among residents, creating a sense of community. To sum up, a city can benefit a lot from beautiful things.

Section Title: 6 文章修订

In my view, I concur with the notion that governments should allocate resources to enhance the aesthetic aspects of urban areas, in addition to practical concerns. A city's visually appealing and culturally significant elements, such as public art, landscaping, and iconic landmarks, not only captivate the eye but also bolster tourism and generate economic advantages. Furthermore, these endeavors can foster a sense of pride and belonging among community members by elevating their morale.

For example, a well-designed park featuring meticulously maintained walking and bicycle paths can stimulate increased physical activity among residents, thereby contributing to overall public health. Similarly, an evocative piece of public art – be it a sculpture or mural – can spark dialogue and foster interaction between inhabitants, cultivating a sense of unity within the community.

It is essential to recognize that practical investments remain crucial for addressing immediate needs and improving citizens' quality of life. However, striking a balance between utility and beauty in urban development is vital for creating thriving cities that cater to diverse needs.

By integrating both practical infrastructure projects (such as transportation hubs, schools, and hospitals) with aesthetically pleasing elements (including public art installations and green spaces), governments can effectively address pressing issues while simultaneously enriching the cultural fabric of their cities.

In doing so, they not only provide essential services but also elevate the overall experience of living in an urban environment. This holistic approach to city planning ultimately leads to more vibrant communities where residents feel connected not only to each other but also to their surroundings.

Thus, while it is important for governments to prioritize practical investments that directly impact citizens' lives, they should not overlook the value of incorporating beauty into urban landscapes. By embracing this balanced perspective on city development, we can create dynamic urban spaces that inspire both individual fulfillment and collective growth.

In conclusion, investing in beautiful aspects of city planning offers numerous benefits beyond mere aesthetics. By fostering community engagement, promoting public health, and stimulating economic growth, these investments contribute significantly to the overall well-being of urban dwellers. (348 words)

From In my perspective, l tend to support July’s opinion view, I concur with the notion (rephrased for clarity and formality) that the government governments should invest allocate resources to enhance the aesthetic aspects of urban areas, in ¶ beautiful things, not just for things that are practical. Aesthetically pleasing addition to practical concerns (rephrased for clarity). A city's visually appealing and culturally significant features of a city, elements, such as public art,

landscaping, and iconic landmarks, are not only visually appealing captivate the eye but also increase bolster tourism ¶ and and generate economic benefits. Plus, advantages (rephrased for clarity and conciseness). Furthermore, these efforts endeavors can contribute to improving foster a sense of pride and belonging among community members by elevating their morale ¶ with a sense of pride and belonging. (rephrased for clarity).

For instance, a vibrant example, a well-designed park with well-maintained ¶ featuring meticulously maintained walking and bicycle paths can encourage more stimulate increased physical activity, which activity among residents, thereby contributing to overall public health (rephrased for clarity). Similarly, an evocative piece of public art – be it a sculpture or mural – can spark dialogue and foster interaction between inhabitants, cultivating a sense of unity within the community (rephrased for clarity).

It is essential to recognize that practical investments remain crucial for addressing immediate needs and improving citizens' quality of life. However, striking a balance between utility and beauty in turn contributes to ¶ public health. A meaningful piece of public art, urban development is vital for creating thriving cities that cater to diverse needs (added sentence to emphasize the importance of balancing practicality with aesthetics).

By integrating both practical infrastructure projects (such as a sculpture or mural, transportation hubs, schools, and hospitals) with aesthetically pleasing elements (including public art installations and green spaces), governments can encourage ¶ conversation and promote interaction among residents, creating a sense of community. To sum up, a effectively address pressing issues while simultaneously enriching the cultural fabric of their cities (rephrased for clarity).

In doing so, they not only provide essential services but also elevate the overall experience of living in an urban environment. This holistic approach to city planning ultimately leads to more vibrant communities where residents feel connected not only to each other but also to their surroundings (added sentence to emphasize the benefits of a balanced approach).

Thus, while it is important for governments to prioritize practical investments that directly impact citizens' lives, they should not overlook the value of incorporating beauty into urban landscapes (rephrased for clarity). By embracing this balanced perspective on city development, we can benefit a lot from create dynamic urban spaces that inspire both individual fulfillment and collective growth (rephrased for clarity).

In conclusion, investing in beautiful things.aspects of city planning offers numerous benefits beyond mere aesthetics (rephrased for clarity). By fostering community engagement, promoting public health, and stimulating economic growth, these investments contribute significantly to the overall well-being of urban dwellers (rephrased for clarity and conciseness).

8 思维导图

Mindmap:

1. Introduction
   - Government resource allocation
   - Aesthetic aspects of urban areas

2. Economic advantages
   - Tourism
   - Iconic landmarks

3. Community benefits
   - Sense of pride and belonging
   - Morale boost

4. Public health and interaction
   - Well-designed parks and paths
   - Public art fostering dialogue

5. Balancing utility and beauty in urban development
   - Practical infrastructure projects (transportation, schools, hospitals)
   - Aesthetically pleasing elements (public art, green spaces)

6. Holistic approach to city planning 

7. Importance of incorporating beauty into urban landscapes 

8. Conclusion 
   - Benefits beyond aesthetics 

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
aesthetic/esˈθetɪk/adjectiveconcerned with beauty or the appreciation of beauty审美的The aesthetic aspects of the city are important for its overall appeal.
iconic/aɪˈkɒnɪk/adjectiverelating to or characteristic of a famous person or thing that represents something important标志性的The iconic landmarks attract tourists from all over the world.
morale/məˈrɑːl/nounthe confidence, enthusiasm, and discipline of a person or group at a particular time士气The beautiful surroundings can elevate the morale among community members.
evocative/ɪˈvɒkətɪv/adjectivebringing strong images, memories, or feelings to mind唤起的The evocative piece of public art sparked dialogue among the residents.
infrastructure/ˈɪnfrəstrʌktʃər/nounthe basic physical and organizational structures and facilities needed for the operation of a society or enterprise基础设施The government should invest in both practical infrastructure projects and aesthetic elements.
holistic/həʊˈlɪstɪk/adjectivecharacterized by the belief that the parts of something are intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole整体的A holistic approach to city planning leads to more vibrant communities.
urban landscape/ˈɜːrbən ˈlændskeɪp/nounthe overall appearance of a city or town城市景观Incorporating beauty into urban landscapes is essential for creating dynamic urban spaces.
vibrant/ˈvaɪbrənt/adjectivefull of energy and enthusiasm充满活力的The city's vibrant atmosphere attracts people from all walks of life.
dwellers/ˈdwelərz/nounpeople who live in a particular place居民-The well-being of urban dwellers should be considered when planning city development projects.
2

사용자 예시 #2

In my opinion, I concur with student's A perspective, which states that government should invest in beautiful, rather than only practical object. Firs...

점수
28

사용자 예시

In my opinion, I concur with student's A perspective, which states that government should invest in beautiful, rather than only practical object. Firstly, investing on the beautiful can create beautiful landscape, attracting tourists to enhance the local economy. For example, establishing appealing art galleries or park can play a crucial role to attract visitor, advertising the city and culture. It's true that constructing basic structure is essential for public daily life. Nevertheless, people not only require physical condition, but also require spiritual needs. A great landscape can encourage interaction between residents and creating a friendly community. In short, government can benefit a lot through built a beautiful things.

평가 결과

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

  • Estimated Score: 28

3. 任务完成度

总体来说,这篇文章较好地回答了教授的问题,表达了作者的观点,并对讨论作出了贡献。但是,文章在阐述观点时可以更具体一些。例如,在提到建设美丽景观对吸引游客和提高当地经济方面的影响时,可以给出具体的例子或数据。此外,在语言使用和语法方面也有一些小错误,需要加以改进。

改进建议:

  1. 在论述观点时给出更具体的例子或数据。

  2. 注意语言使用和语法错误。

示例:

  1. "For example, establishing appealing art galleries or parks can play a crucial role in attracting visitors, advertising the city and culture." 可以改为 "For example, the construction of the Louvre Museum in Paris has attracted millions of tourists every year, significantly boosting the local economy."

  2. "In short, government can benefit a lot through built a beautiful things." 可以改为 "In conclusion, governments can greatly benefit from investing in beautiful constructions."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构基本清晰,包括引言、正文和结论。每段都集中讨论一个特定的观点,并提供支持细节。但是,文章在段落之间的过渡可以更自然一些,以便让读者更容易理解。

改进建议:

  1. 在段落之间加入过渡性词语或句子。

  2. 确保每个段落都有一个明确的主题句。

示例:

  1. 在第一段和第二段之间加入过渡句:"While practical constructions are indeed important, it is also essential to consider the impact of beautiful constructions on people's well-being."

  2. 为第二段添加主题句:"Investing in beautiful constructions can also fulfill people's spiritual needs and promote social interaction."

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, I concur with student's A perspective, which states that government should invest in beautiful, rather than only practical object. Firstly, investing on the beautiful can create beautiful landscape, attracting tourists to enhance the local economy. For example, establishing appealing art galleries or park can play a crucial role to attract visitor, advertising the city and culture. It's true that constructing basic structure is essential for public daily life. Nevertheless, people not only require (Two consecutive spaces)physical condition, but also require spiritual needs. A great landscape can encourage interaction between residents and creating a friendly community. In short, government can benefit a lot through built a beautiful thingsa beautiful thing(Agreement: 'a' + plural word).

Title: 6 文章修订

In my opinion, I concur with Student A's perspective, which asserts that the government should invest in aesthetically pleasing projects rather than solely focusing on practical ones. Firstly, investing in beautiful creations can contribute to an attractive urban landscape, drawing tourists and boosting the local economy. For instance, establishing captivating art galleries or parks can play a crucial role in attracting visitors while promoting the city and its culture.

While it is true that constructing essential infrastructure is vital for daily life, people require not only physical amenities but also spiritual fulfillment. A visually appealing environment can encourage interaction among residents and foster a sense of community.

In essence, governments stand to gain significantly by investing in aesthetically pleasing projects that contribute to both the cultural and economic aspects of urban development. (135 words)

In my opinion, I concur with student's A perspective, Student A's perspective (clarified the subject), which states asserts (more formal word choice) that the government should invest in beautiful, aesthetically pleasing projects (more precise description) rather than only solely focusing on practical object. ones. Firstly, investing on the in beautiful creations can create beautiful contribute to an attractive urban landscape, attracting drawing tourists to enhance and boosting the local economy. For example, instance, establishing appealing captivating art galleries or park parks can play a crucial role to attract visitor, advertising in attracting visitors while promoting the city and culture. its culture (rephrased for clarity).

It's While it is true that constructing basic structure essential infrastructure is essential vital for public daily life. Nevertheless, life, people require not only require physical condition, amenities but also require spiritual needs. fulfillment (improved phrasing). A great landscape visually appealing environment can encourage interaction between among residents and creating foster a friendly community. sense of community (rephrased for clarity).

In short, government can benefit a lot through built a beautiful things.essence, governments stand to gain significantly by investing in aesthetically pleasing projects that contribute to both the cultural and economic aspects of urban development (rephrased for conciseness and clarity).

Title: 8 思维导图


1. Introduction
   - Agree with Student A's perspective

2. Attractive urban landscape
   - Draw tourists
   - Boost local economy

3. Examples
   - Art galleries
   - Parks

4. Importance of essential infrastructure

5. Spiritual fulfillment
   - Encourage interaction among residents
   - Foster a sense of community

6. Conclusion
   - Benefits of investing in aesthetically pleasing projects for urban development

Title: 9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
concur/kənˈkɜr/verbagree同意I concur with your opinion on this matter.
aesthetically/esˈθetɪkəli/adverbin a way that relates to beauty or appearance审美地The building is designed both functionally and aesthetically.
urban landscape/ˈɜrbən ˈlændskeɪp/nounthe appearance of a city or town城市景观The new park has improved the urban landscape of our city.
infrastructure/ˈɪnfrəstrʌktʃər/nounthe basic systems and services needed by a country or organization基础设施The government is investing in new infrastructure projects.
spiritual_ /ˈspɪrɪtʃuəl/adjectiverelating to deep feelings and beliefs, especially religious beliefs精神的Spiritual fulfillment is important for overall well-being.
fulfillment/fʊlˈfɪlmənt/nouna feeling of satisfaction at having achieved something or reached a certain level满足感The artist found fulfillment in creating beautiful paintings.
interaction/ˌɪntərˈækʃən/nouncommunication or direct involvement with someone or something互动Interaction among residents helps build a strong community.
foster_ /ˈfɔstər/verbto encourage the development of something, especially something desirable促进The program aims to foster better communication between different groups.
community_ /kəˈmjunɪti/nouna group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common社区She's well-known and respected within the local community.
urban development/ˈɜrbən dɪˈvɛləpmənt/nounthe process of improving the economic, political, and social aspects of cities and towns城市发展Urban development plays a crucial role in shaping the future of our cities.

Academic Discussion 채점 방식

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관련성 및 기여도

답안이 질문에 답하고 토론에 의미 있게 기여하는가?

언어 사용

문법 정확성, 어휘 범위, 문장 구조의 질.

전개 및 근거

구체적인 예시와 명확한 논리로 아이디어가 잘 전개되었는가?

답안에서 나타나는 공통 패턴

이 과제에 대한 사용자 제출 답안을 분석한 결과, 학생 답안에서 관찰된 공통 패턴은 다음과 같습니다.

많은 학생이 명확한 의견을 제시하지만 구체적인 뒷받침 예시가 부족합니다.

높은 점수를 받은 답안은 리딩 지문과 다른 참여자의 의견을 직접 인용합니다.

점수가 높은 답안은 다양한 문장 구조와 학술적 어휘를 사용합니다.

시간 관리는 핵심 요소입니다 — 서두른 느낌을 주는 답안은 전개 항목에서 낮은 점수를 받는 경향이 있습니다.

학습 팁

1

글을 쓰기 전에 프롬프트를 꼼꼼히 읽고 질문의 모든 부분을 파악하세요.

2

답안에서 리딩 지문과 다른 학생들의 의견을 언급하세요.

3

핵심 주장을 뒷받침할 구체적인 예시를 사용하고, 일반적인 진술은 피하세요.

4

120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 답안이 길다고 항상 좋은 것은 아니며, 명료함과 초점이 더 중요합니다.

5

시험 조건에서 유창하게 답하기 위해 시간을 정해(10분) 연습하세요.

자주 묻는 질문

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