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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on business. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

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과제 개요

Doctor Achebe

Let's explore the concept of retail and its variations. In the world of retail, there's an unique type where a wide array of products are housed under one roof, allowing for wholesale purchases. This brings us to the idea of super stores. On the other hand, we have small stores catering to specific needs. Now, considering these options, which one do you think holds more advantages for people? Would the convenience of super stores outweigh the personal touch of small stores?

Claire

In my opinion, super stores hold an edge over small stores due to their wide-ranging product choices, extended hours, and cost-saving options. As a student juggling classes and activties, the convenience of finding everything under one roof and the potential for bulk discounts make superstores a practical choice. While small stores offer a personal touch, the eficiency and budget-friendly nature of super stores align better with my busy college lifestyle.

Andrew

In my view, small stores outweigh super stores, mainly due to the emphasis on personalized service and repairs. The direct assistance and expertise offered by small stores are invaluable, especially when it comes to electronics or gadgets that might need fixing. While super stores provide convenience, the hands-on support and tailored solutions from small stores align better with my college experience and budget considerations.

사용자 예시 및 평가 결과

1

사용자 예시 #1

In my personal opinion, super store offers more advantages than disadvantages. I wholeheartedly concur with Claire’s viewpoint that super store holds ...

점수
26

사용자 예시

In my personal opinion, super store offers more advantages than disadvantages. I wholeheartedly concur with Claire’s viewpoint that super store holds an competitive edge, as it provides us with a diverse range of options, more flexible hours, and cost-saving mode. In addition to Claire’s perspective, I would further argue that super store can improve shopping satisfaction. As a college student, I am inundated with numerous assignments, tasks, and projects, all of which makes me feel burnout. So, it is impossible for me to take a bulk object to home in that situation. However, the super store in front of my college can provide me with delivery to my house, perfectly handling my concern, ultimately improving my shopping satisfaction. While Andrew highlights the merits of small stores, such as personalized service and repairs, he fails to consider the fact that the hands-on support and tailored solution may not be as reliable as super stores since small stores’ technologies may not be able to perfectly handle issues you faced compared to super stores.

평가 결과

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

总体来说,这篇文章在完成任务方面做得很好。你的观点明确,论据充分。然而,有一些建议可以帮助你进一步提高文章质量:

  1. 在论述观点时,可以更详细地说明为什么超市的技术比小商店更可靠。

  2. 注意避免使用重复词汇,尝试使用不同的表达方式。

示例1: Instead of "the hands-on support and tailored solution may not be as reliable as super stores since small stores’ technologies may not be able to perfectly handle issues you faced compared to super stores.", you can write "The hands-on support and tailored solutions provided by small stores might not be as reliable as those offered by superstores, given that the latter often have access to more advanced technology and resources to address various issues."

示例2: Instead of using "super store" repeatedly, try using synonyms like "large retailers" or "megastores."

4. 文章结构与组织

从结构和组织的角度来看,这篇文章表现良好。然而,在以下方面还有改进的空间:

  1. 在引入自己观点时,可以使用更明确的过渡词汇。

  2. 在论述不同观点时,尝试使用更多的连接词和短语来增强逻辑性。

示例1: Instead of "In my personal opinion, super store offers more advantages than disadvantages.", you can write "I firmly believe that superstores offer more advantages than disadvantages due to several reasons."

示例2: Instead of "While Andrew highlights the merits of small stores, such as personalized service and repairs, he fails to consider the fact that...", you can write "Although Andrew highlights the merits of small stores, including personalized service and repairs, he overlooks the fact that..."

5. 语法批改

In my personal opinion, super store offers more advantages than disadvantages. I wholeheartedly concur with Claire’s viewpoint that super store holds ana(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') competitive edge, as it provides us with a diverse range of options, more flexible hours, and cost-saving mode. In addition to Claire’s perspective, I would further argue that super store can improve shopping satisfaction. As a college student, I am inundated with numerous assignments, tasks, and projects, all of which makes me feel burnout. So, it is impossible for me to take a bulk object to home in that situation. However, the super store in front of my college can provide me with delivery to my house, perfectly handling my concern, ultimately improving my shopping satisfaction.

While Andrew highlights the merits of small stores, such as personalized service and repairs, he fails to consider the fact that the hands-on support and tailored solution may not be as reliable as super stores since small stores’ technologies may not be able to perfectly handle issues you faced compared to super stores.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In my personal opinion, superstores offer more advantages than small stores. I wholeheartedly concur with Claire's viewpoint that superstores hold a competitive edge, as they provide a diverse range of options, more flexible hours, and cost-saving opportunities. In addition to Claire's perspective, I would further argue that superstores can enhance shopping satisfaction. As a college student inundated with numerous assignments, tasks, and projects, I often feel overwhelmed. In such situations, it is impossible for me to transport bulky items home. However, the superstore near my college offers delivery services to my residence, effectively addressing my concerns and ultimately improving my shopping experience.

While Andrew highlights the merits of small stores, such as personalized service and repairs, he fails to consider the fact that hands-on support and tailored solutions may not be as reliable in small stores compared to superstores. This is because small stores' technologies might not be as advanced or capable of handling complex issues faced by customers compared to those in superstores. (169 words)

In my personal opinion, super store offers superstores offer more advantages than disadvantages. small stores (changed "super store" to "superstores" for consistency and correct terminology). I wholeheartedly concur with Claire’s Claire's viewpoint that super store holds an superstores hold a competitive edge, as it provides us with they provide a diverse range of options, more flexible hours, and cost-saving mode. opportunities (changed "mode" to "opportunities" for clarity). In addition to Claire’s Claire's perspective, I would further argue that super store superstores can improve enhance shopping satisfaction. As a college student, I am student inundated with numerous assignments, tasks, and projects, all projects (rephrased "all of which makes me feel burnout. So, burnout" for better flow), I often feel overwhelmed. In such situations, it is impossible for me to take transport bulky items home (changed "take a bulk object to home in that situation. home" for clarity and natural phrasing). However, the super store in front of superstore near my college can provide offers delivery services to my residence (rephrased "provide me with delivery to my house, perfectly handling my concern, house" for better flow), effectively addressing my concerns and ultimately improving my shopping satisfaction. experience (changed "satisfaction" to "experience").

While Andrew highlights the merits of small stores, such as personalized service and repairs, he fails to consider the fact that the hands-on support and tailored solution solutions may not be as reliable as super in small stores since small stores’ compared to superstores (rephrased sentence for clarity). This is because small stores' technologies may might not be able to perfectly handle as advanced or capable of handling complex issues you faced by customers compared to super stores.those in superstores (rephrased sentence for better flow).

8 思维导图


1. Introduction
   - Superstores vs small stores
   - Agree with Claire's viewpoint

2. Advantages of superstores
   a. Diverse range of options
   b. Flexible hours
   c. Cost-saving opportunities

3. Enhance shopping satisfaction
   a. Delivery services for college students

4. Counterargument: Small stores' merits
   a. Personalized service and repairs

5. Rebuttal: Reliability concerns in small stores
   a. Less advanced technologies 

6. Conclusion 
   - Superstores hold a competitive edge over small stores.

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
superstore/ˈsuːpərstɔːr/nounA large retail store offering a wide variety of goods and services超级市场The new superstore has everything I need in one place, making shopping more convenient for me
competitive edge/kəmˈpetɪtɪv edʒ/nounAn advantage that allows an organization to outperform its competitors竞争优势Superstores hold a competitive edge over small stores due to their diverse range of options and flexible hours
overwhelmed/oʊvərˈwelm/adjectiveTo be buried or drowned beneath a huge mass不堪重负的As a college student, I often feel overwhelmed by numerous assignments, tasks, and projects
personalized/ˈpɜːrsənəlaɪzd/adjectiveDesigned or tailored to meet an individual's specifications个性化的Small stores offer personalized service and repairs, which some customers appreciate
reliability/rɪˌlaɪəˈbɪlɪti/nounThe quality of being trustworthy or of performing consistently well可靠性The reliability of hands-on support in small stores may not be as high as in superstores
diverse/daɪˈvɜrs/adjectiveShowing a great deal of variety; very different多样的Superstores provide a diverse range of options for customers to choose from
flexible/ˈflɛksəbəl/adjectiveCapable of bending easily without breaking; able to be easily modified to respond to altered conditions灵活的Superstores have more flexible hours than small stores, making it easier for customers to shop at any time
cost-saving/kɒst ˈseɪvɪŋ/adjectiveReducing costs or enabling something to be done at a lower cost节省成本的Shopping at superstores offers cost-saving opportunities due to their lower prices
delivery services/dɪˈlɪvəri ˈsɜrvəsiz/nounThe action of bringing goods or services to a customer's location送货服务The superstore near my college offers delivery services, making it easier for me to transport bulky items home
advanced/ədˈvænst/adjectiveFar on or ahead in development or progress先进的Small stores' technologies might not be as advanced as those in superstores

Academic Discussion 채점 방식

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 ETS 공식 채점 기준에 따라 평가됩니다. AI 평가는 여러 측면에서 각 답안을 분석합니다.

관련성 및 기여도

답안이 질문에 답하고 토론에 의미 있게 기여하는가?

언어 사용

문법 정확성, 어휘 범위, 문장 구조의 질.

전개 및 근거

구체적인 예시와 명확한 논리로 아이디어가 잘 전개되었는가?

답안에서 나타나는 공통 패턴

이 과제에 대한 사용자 제출 답안을 분석한 결과, 학생 답안에서 관찰된 공통 패턴은 다음과 같습니다.

많은 학생이 명확한 의견을 제시하지만 구체적인 뒷받침 예시가 부족합니다.

높은 점수를 받은 답안은 리딩 지문과 다른 참여자의 의견을 직접 인용합니다.

점수가 높은 답안은 다양한 문장 구조와 학술적 어휘를 사용합니다.

시간 관리는 핵심 요소입니다 — 서두른 느낌을 주는 답안은 전개 항목에서 낮은 점수를 받는 경향이 있습니다.

학습 팁

1

글을 쓰기 전에 프롬프트를 꼼꼼히 읽고 질문의 모든 부분을 파악하세요.

2

답안에서 리딩 지문과 다른 학생들의 의견을 언급하세요.

3

핵심 주장을 뒷받침할 구체적인 예시를 사용하고, 일반적인 진술은 피하세요.

4

120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 답안이 길다고 항상 좋은 것은 아니며, 명료함과 초점이 더 중요합니다.

5

시험 조건에서 유창하게 답하기 위해 시간을 정해(10분) 연습하세요.

자주 묻는 질문

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제란 무엇인가요?
TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 온라인 수업 토론에 참여하는 것을 요구합니다. 교수의 질문과 다른 학생들의 답변을 읽은 후, 약 10분 안에 자신의 의견을 표현하고 뒷받침하는 글을 작성하게 됩니다.
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