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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on sociology. Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response you should: express and support your opinion make a contribution to the discussion An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Kiriman pengguna asli dengan evaluasi dan umpan balik bertenaga AI

1 contoh kiriman pengguna tersedia

Mulai Latihan Gratis

Ringkasan Tugas

Professor

Let's think about population trends in urban and rural areas (villages). Living in urban areas can be expensive; nonetheless, when they have a choice of where to live, people in some countries do not wish to live in rural areas even if the cost of living there is lower. If governments of some countries want to attract more people to live in rural areas or villages, what is the best strategy or approach that governments can use? Why?

Student A

l would live in a rural area if the government gave more financial help to farmers. Although it may cost very little to live in a rural area, it costs a lot to begin a career in agriculture. If l had financial help, I would start my own farm and be happy to live in a rural area.

Student B

In my country, urban centers are great places to live because you can access shops, restaurants, and museums. If the government of my country wanted to attract me to live in a rural area, the area would first have to attract more businesses focused on entertainment and culture than most rural areas have now.

Contoh Pengguna & Hasil Evaluasi

1

Contoh Pengguna #1

In my opinion, I consider that the government are supposed to establish the shopping mall, supreme restaurant and so on to attract people to have a tr...

Nilai
23

Contoh Pengguna

In my opinion, I consider that the government are supposed to establish the shopping mall, supreme restaurant and so on to attract people to have a travel in the village. When they look at the advanced shopping mall and beautiful buildings, they may be willing to stay at this village to make a living. What's more, government can develop some polices that includes convenience of buying house, encouragement of finding jobs, and so on to promote the possibility of people who want to live in the rural area. All in all, the government should try their best to think of some good ideas to attract people to live in the rural area to improve the economy and the population of the rural area.

Hasil Evaluasi

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

23. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在回答教授的问题方面做得不错,但仍有改进的空间。首先,文章需要更具体地说明政府如何吸引人们到农村生活,例如提供更多具体的政策建议。此外,文章中存在一些语法错误和表达不清晰的地方,需要进行修改。

示例1:原文:“In my opinion, I consider that the government are supposed to establish the shopping mall, supreme restaurant and so on to attract people to have a travel in the village.” 修改后:“In my opinion, I believe that the government should establish shopping malls, high-quality restaurants, and other attractions to encourage people to visit and live in rural areas.”

示例2:原文:“All in all, the government should try their best to think of some good ideas to attract people to live in the rural area to improve the economy and the population of the rural area.” 修改后:“In conclusion, governments should develop innovative strategies to attract people to live in rural areas, which will ultimately improve both the economy and population distribution.”

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面还有待加强。虽然文章包含了引言、正文和结论,但段落之间缺乏明确的过渡。建议在段落之间添加过渡句,以便更清晰地表达观点。

示例1:在第一段和第二段之间添加过渡句:“Besides providing recreational facilities, the government should also focus on other aspects to make rural living more appealing.”

示例2:在正文和结论之间添加过渡句:“Taking all these factors into consideration, it is clear that a multi-faceted approach is necessary to attract people to rural areas.”

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, I consider that the government are supposed to establish the shopping mall, supreme restaurant and so on to attract people to have a traveltravel(Articles: a + uncountable noun) in the village. When they look at the advanced shopping mall and beautiful buildings, they may be willing to stay at this village to make a living. What's more, government can develop some polices that includes convenience of buying house, encouragement of finding jobs, and so on to promote the possibility of people who want to live in the rural area. All in all, the government should try their best to think of some good ideas to attract people to live in the rural area to improve the economy and the population of the rural area.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In my opinion, the most effective strategy for governments to attract individuals to rural areas is by investing in the development of modern amenities and infrastructure, as well as implementing policies that facilitate homeownership and job opportunities. Establishing shopping malls, high-quality restaurants, and cultural attractions can entice people to visit and potentially settle in these villages. Furthermore, governments should introduce policies that simplify the process of purchasing property and provide incentives for businesses to create jobs in rural areas. By doing so, they can enhance the appeal of rural living while simultaneously promoting economic growth and balancing population distribution. (104 words)

In my opinion, I consider that the government are supposed to establish the shopping mall, supreme restaurant and so on most effective strategy for governments to attract individuals to rural areas (revised for clarity and conciseness) is by investing in the development of modern amenities and infrastructure (rephrased for a more natural tone), as well as implementing policies that facilitate homeownership and job opportunities (rephrased for clarity). Establishing shopping malls, high-quality restaurants, and cultural attractions (revised for a more natural tone) can entice people to have visit and potentially settle in these villages (rephrased for clarity). Furthermore, governments should introduce policies that simplify the process of purchasing property (rephrased for a travel more natural tone) and provide incentives for businesses to create jobs in rural areas (rephrased for clarity). By doing so, they can enhance the village. When they look at the advanced shopping mall appeal of rural living while simultaneously promoting economic growth and beautiful buildings, they may be willing to stay at this village to make balancing population distribution (revised for a living. What's more, government can develop some polices that includes convenience of buying house, encouragement of finding jobs, and so on to promote the possibility of people who want to live in the rural area. All in all, the government should try their best to think of some good ideas to attract people to live in the rural area to improve the economy and the population of the rural area.more natural tone).

8 思维导图


- 主题: 吸引人们到农村地区的有效策略
  - 投资发展现代设施和基础设施
    - 购物中心
    - 高品质餐厅
    - 文化景点
  - 实施有利于购房和就业的政策
    - 简化购房流程
    - 为企业提供创造农村就业机会的激励措施
  - 提高农村生活吸引力
  - 促进经济增长和平衡人口分布

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
amenities/əˈmiːnɪtiz/nounfacilities that make a place pleasant, comfortable, or easy to live in生活便利设施Modern amenities and infrastructure can make rural areas more attractive.
infrastructure/ˈɪnfrəstrʌktʃər/nounthe basic systems and services that a country or organization needs in order to work effectively基础设施Investing in infrastructure is crucial for the development of rural areas.
homeownership/ˈhoʊmˌoʊnərʃɪp/nounthe state of owning one's own home住房拥有权Policies that facilitate homeownership can attract people to rural areas.
entice/ɪnˈtaɪs/verbto persuade someone to do something, usually by offering them something they want吸引Establishing shopping malls and restaurants can entice people to visit rural areas.
incentives/ɪnˈsɛntɪvz/nounsomething that encourages you to do something激励措施Governments should provide incentives for businesses to create jobs in rural areas.
economic growth/iːkəˈnɒmɪk ɡroʊθ/nounan increase in the amount of goods and services produced per head of the population over a period of time经济增长Promoting economic growth is essential for the prosperity of rural areas.
population distribution/pəˌpʌləʃən dɪsˌtrɪbjuˈteʃən/nounthe way in which people are spread across a given area人口分布Balancing population distribution can alleviate overcrowding in urban areas.
appeal/əˈpi:l/nouna quality that makes someone or something attractive or interesting吸引力Enhancing the appeal of rural living is important for attracting individuals to these areas.
policies/ˈpɒləsi:z/nouna set of ideas or a plan of what to do in particular situations that has been agreed officially by a group of people, a business organization, a government, or a political party政策Implementing policies that support rural development can improve the quality of life in these areas.
job opportunities/dʒɒb ˌɒpərˈtju:nɪtiz/nounchances for people to find employment就业机会Creating job opportunities in rural areas can help reduce unemployment and boost the local economy.

Section Title: 6 文章修改

在我看来,政府吸引人们到农村地区最有效的策略是投资发展现代生活便利设施和基础设施,以及实施有利于购房和就业的政策。建立购物中心、高品质餐厅和文化景点可以吸引人们参观并可能在这些村庄定居。此外,政府应该推出简化购房流程的政策,并为企业提供创造农村就业机会的激励措施。通过这样做,他们可以提高农村生活的吸引力,同时促进经济增长和平衡人口分布。

Cara Penilaian Academic Discussion

Tugas TOEFL Academic Discussion dinilai berdasarkan rubrik penilaian resmi ETS. Evaluasi AI menganalisis setiap jawaban dari berbagai dimensi.

Relevansi & Kontribusi

Apakah jawaban menjawab pertanyaan dan memberikan kontribusi yang bermakna terhadap diskusi?

Penggunaan Bahasa

Ketepatan tata bahasa, keragaman kosakata, dan kualitas struktur kalimat.

Pengembangan & Dukungan

Apakah ide-ide dikembangkan dengan baik menggunakan contoh spesifik dan penalaran yang jelas?

Pola Umum pada Jawaban

Berdasarkan analisis kiriman pengguna untuk tugas ini, berikut pola umum yang ditemukan dalam jawaban siswa.

Banyak siswa memberikan opini yang jelas tetapi kurang contoh pendukung yang spesifik.

Jawaban yang kuat secara langsung merujuk pada reading passage dan sudut pandang peserta lain.

Jawaban dengan nilai lebih tinggi menggunakan struktur kalimat yang bervariasi dan kosakata akademik.

Manajemen waktu adalah faktor penting — jawaban yang terasa terburu-buru cenderung mendapat nilai lebih rendah pada aspek pengembangan.

Tips Belajar

1

Baca prompt dengan saksama dan identifikasi semua bagian pertanyaan sebelum menulis.

2

Rujuk reading passage dan pendapat siswa lain dalam jawaban kamu.

3

Gunakan contoh spesifik untuk mendukung poin utama kamu — hindari pernyataan yang terlalu umum.

4

Usahakan sekitar 120-150 kata. Jawaban yang lebih panjang tidak selalu lebih baik; kejelasan dan fokus lebih penting.

5

Latih jawaban dengan waktu terbatas (10 menit) untuk membangun kelancaran dalam kondisi ujian sesungguhnya.

Pertanyaan yang Sering Diajukan

Apa itu tugas TOEFL Academic Discussion?
Tugas TOEFL Academic Discussion mengharuskan kamu untuk berkontribusi dalam diskusi kelas daring. Kamu akan membaca pertanyaan dari seorang profesor dan tanggapan siswa lain, lalu menulis postinganmu sendiri yang menyampaikan dan mendukung pendapatmu dalam waktu sekitar 10 menit.
Bagaimana tugas Academic Discussion dinilai?
Tugas ini dinilai dengan skala 0-5 berdasarkan relevansi terhadap diskusi, kualitas penggunaan bahasa (tata bahasa, kosakata, struktur kalimat), dan seberapa baik kamu mengembangkan serta mendukung idemu dengan contoh spesifik dan penalaran.
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Targetkan 120-150 kata. Tugas ini memberimu waktu 10 menit untuk menulis jawaban. Fokuslah pada kejelasan, dukung pendapatmu dengan contoh spesifik, dan rujuk konteks diskusi daripada menulis jawaban yang lebih panjang.

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