TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on education. Write a post responding to theprofessor's question. In your response you should do the following.·Express and support your opinionMake a contribution to the discussion in your own words An effective response will contain at least 100 words

1.子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2.预估分数

• 25

3.任务完成度 这篇文章在完成任务方面做得相当不错，但仍有改进的空间。首先，尽管你表达了自己的观点并提供了一些例子，但这些例子可以更具体和详细。此外，在语法和词汇使用方面，你的文章有一些小错误，需要加以修正。

示例1：将 "For my friend, last semester her calculus final exam score is not very well" 改为 "For example, my friend did not perform well on her calculus final exam last semester." 示例2：将 "in that case, they also will not pay more attention to their class performance" 改为 "in that case, they might not pay much attention to their class performance."

4.文章结构与组织 从结构和组织的角度来看，这篇文章基本上是合理的。然而，在引入段和结论段方面可以进行一些改进。引入段应该更明确地陈述你的观点，并在结论段中对你的论点进行总结。此外，在段落之间使用过渡词或短语可以使文章更连贯。

建议1（简体中文）：在引入段中明确表达观点，例如：“我认为，评估学生的表现时，我们应该同时考虑他们的成绩和努力。” 建议2（简体中文）：在结论段中总结论点，例如：“总之，我认为评价学生时应兼顾他们的成绩和表现。”

5. 语法批改

In response to the professor's question, I concur with Rory's viewpoint, whose instance is when we give one student's grade, we need to consider performance and effort together. There are two primary reasons for my point. Firstly, as a student, we need to pursue all-round development instead of one aspect. As we all know, there is someone who is good at examsexams,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) even if they just devoted a little to the exam. inIn(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) that case, they also will not pay more attention to their class performance, so it is not fair for other students who were not clever enough but devoted a lot of effort to their studies. For my friend, last semester her calculus final exam score is not very well, but our professor still givegives(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb) her A, the best grade. Because all of us have seen how diligent and hard my friend was, which means she deserves an A. Secondly, class performance means we should support and cooperate with the professor's work, and show our respect to them. In essence, I think the best way to evaluate one student is through their grades and performance.

6.文章修订

In response to the professor's question, I concur with Rory's viewpoint that when grading a student, we should consider both performance and effort. There are two primary reasons for my stance.

Firstly, as students, we should pursue well-rounded development rather than focusing on a single aspect. It is common knowledge that some individuals excel in exams with minimal effort. In such cases, they might not pay much attention to their class performance, which would be unfair to other students who may not be as naturally gifted but put in significant effort into their studies. For example, my friend did not perform well on her calculus final exam last semester; however, our professor still awarded her an A due to her diligence and hard work throughout the course.

Secondly, class performance signifies supporting and cooperating with the professor's work and showing respect towards them. Demonstrating effort in class participation and assignments can contribute positively to a student's overall evaluation.

In essence, I believe that the most effective way to evaluate a student is by considering both their grades and overall performance in class. (183 words)

7.文章批改

In response to the professor's question, I concur with Rory's viewpoint, whose instance is viewpoint that when grading a student, we give one student's grade, we need to should consider both performance and effort together. effort. (Revised for clarity and conciseness) There are two primary reasons for my point. stance.

Firstly, as a student, students, we need to should pursue all-round well-rounded development instead of one rather than focusing on a single aspect. As we all know, there (Revised for clarity) It is someone who is good at common knowledge that some individuals excel in exams even if with minimal effort. In such cases, they just devoted a little to the exam. in that case, they also will might not pay more much attention to their class performance, so it is not fair for which would be unfair to other students who were may not clever enough be as naturally gifted but devoted a lot of put in significant effort to into their studies. (Revised for better flow and coherence) For example, my friend, last semester ¶ friend did not perform well on her calculus final exam score is not very well, but last semester; however, our professor still give awarded her A, the best grade. Because all of us have seen how diligent an A due to her diligence and hard my friend was, which means she deserves an A. work throughout the course. (Revised for clarity and proper grammar)

Secondly, class performance means we should support and cooperate signifies supporting and cooperating with the professor's work, and show our work and showing respect to towards them. (Revised for clarity) Demonstrating effort in class participation and assignments can contribute positively to a student's overall evaluation. (Revised for better flow)

In essence, I think the best believe that the most effective way to evaluate one a student is through by considering both their grades and performance.overall performance in class. (Revised for clarity and conciseness)

8.思维导图

• Introduction

  • Agree with Rory's viewpoint
  • Consider both performance and effort

• Reason 1: Well-rounded development

  • Not focusing on a single aspect
  • Unfair to hardworking students
  • Example: Friend awarded an A for diligence

• Reason 2: Class performance and respect

  • Supporting and cooperating with the professor
  • Demonstrating effort in class participation and assignments

• Conclusion

  • Most effective evaluation method

9.关键词