TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on marketing. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

1. Sub Scores

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.0

2. Estimated Scores

Estimated Score: 22

3. Task completeness

The essay does a fair job of addressing the task requirements, expressing an opinion, and contributing to the discussion. However, there is room for improvement in elaborating on the viewpoint and providing clearer examples or details to support the argument. Additionally, some grammatical errors and unclear language use need to be addressed.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Provide more specific examples or details to support your viewpoint.

• Improve grammar and language use for better clarity.

Examples:

1. Instead of "So they prefer to buy something which be mentioned are good," consider "So they prefer to buy products that have been recommended as high-quality by people they trust."

2. Instead of "However, there are many false information on the internet," consider "However, there is a lot of misleading information on the internet."

4. Essay structure and organization

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, it could benefit from clearer organization within paragraphs and smoother transitions between ideas.

Suggestions for improvement:

• Organize each paragraph around a specific point with supporting details.

• Use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Examples:

1. Start a paragraph with a clear topic sentence like "One advantage of relying on friends and family for product recommendations is trustworthiness."

2. Use transition words or phrases like "On the other hand" or "In contrast" when presenting opposing viewpoints or different aspects of your argument within the essay.

5. Grammar

Paul's input on the matter of efficient sources of information to cunsumeconsume(misspelling) is insightful. From my perspectionperspective(misspelling), relying on advice from friends and family to purchase some produce not only are more suitable for person, but also might be more believable for them. To explain it further, it's important for consumer to buy some good quality with afforded price. So they prefer to buy something which be mentioned are good. However, there are many false informationmuch false information(Possible agreement error: 'many/several/few' + uncountable noun) on the internet to encourage consumer buyto buy(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) some produce which are terrible quality. thereforeTherefore(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter), asking advice from friend and family who are used thisto this(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) produce is more reliable.

Title: 6 Revised Essay

Paul's perspective on efficient sources of information for consumer decision-making is thought-provoking. In my opinion, relying on advice from friends and family for product purchases is not only more personalized but also potentially more trustworthy. To elaborate, it is crucial for consumers to acquire high-quality products at affordable prices. Consequently, they prefer purchasing items that have been positively reviewed by others. However, the internet is rife with misleading information aimed at enticing consumers to buy products of inferior quality. Therefore, seeking advice from friends and family who have experience with a particular product is a more reliable approach. (102 words)

Paul's perspective (input changed to perspective for a more natural tone) on efficient sources of information for consumer decision-making (the matter of efficient sources of information to cunsume is insightful. From revised for clarity and correctness) is thought-provoking (insightful changed to thought-provoking for variety). In my perspection, opinion, relying on advice from friends and family for product purchases (to purchase some produce revised for clarity and correctness) is not only are more personalized (more suitable for person, person changed to more personalized for better expression) but also might be more potentially more trustworthy (believable for them. changed to trustworthy for a more accurate term). To explain elaborate, it further, it's important for consumer to is crucial for consumers to acquire high-quality products at affordable prices (buy some good quality with afforded price. So price revised for clarity and correctness). Consequently, they prefer to purchasing items that have been positively reviewed by others (buy something which be mentioned are good. good revised for proper grammar and expression). However, there are the internet is rife with misleading information (many false information on the internet to changed to misleading information for better expression) aimed at enticing consumers to buy products of inferior quality (encourage consumer buy some produce which are terrible quality. therefore, quality revised for clarity and correctness). Therefore, seeking advice from friends and family who have experience with a particular product (asking advice from friend and family who are used this produce is more reliable.changed to improve grammar and expression) is a more reliable approach.

8 Mind Map

1. Introduction

   • Paul's perspective
   • Personal opinion on advice from friends and family

2. Personalized Recommendations

   • Tailored to individual needs
   • Familiarity with preferences

3. Trustworthiness

   • Reliable source of information
   • Genuine experiences and opinions

4. Quality Products

   • Importance of high-quality products
   • Affordable prices

5. Positive Reviews

   • Influence on purchasing decisions
   • Trust in friends and family's recommendations

6. Misleading Information Online

   • Abundance of false reviews and advertisements
   • Difficulty in discerning genuine information

7. Reliability of Friends and Family

   • Personal experience with products
   • Honest feedback and advice

8. Conclusion

   • Benefits of seeking advice from friends and family

9 Key Words