TOEFLIELTS
ไทย
All Samples

TOEFL TPO 10 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on economics. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

คำตอบจริงจากผู้ใช้งาน พร้อมการประเมินและฟีดแบ็กด้วย AI

มีตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน 325 รายการ

เริ่มฝึกฟรี

ภาพรวมของโจทย์

Doctor Diaz

Our current unit looks at tourism and the benefit it has on a country’s economy. Many argue that while tourism can indeed be a money-making endeavor, it can do more harm than good, especially tourism to small, remote places that are not heavily populated. What is your opinion? Should local or national governments promote tourism to remote regions not typically visited by tourists before? Why?

Andrew

Tourism has always been a lucrative business. Improving the economies of these rural regions, especially if those regions are poor, can only have a positive effect. People can have a better quality of life by showcasing their food and traditions to the outside world. It’s a chance the people might not get without promotion from the government.

Claire

I don’t think governments should promote tourism to remote regions. The people are likely not asking for this kind of industry or for this kind of attention. Instead, governments should develop other means of improving a region's economic situation, like expanding agriculture or other industries. These efforts will have a stronger, more permanent impact on the region than bringing in groups of tourists.

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งานและผลการประเมิน

1

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน #1

Admittedly, I agrre with Andrew that tourism is a sunstantial way to promote ecnomics. Because with tourists flooding in, agricultrual products are se...

คะแนน
25

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน

Admittedly, I agrre with Andrew that tourism is a sunstantial way to promote ecnomics. Because with tourists flooding in, agricultrual products are selling out which greatly improves the life of local people. However, I doubt that the following results outweigh the economical profits. In my opinion, remote regions should not rely on tourism for development. For one thing, the ecosystems in mountains and villages are frigile, and too many tourists contributes to environment pollution which cannot be reversed in a long time. For another, remote regions often accommadate a small population and they live in a harmony. The boost of tourism is likely to disturb their peaceful life. Therefore, I think tourism is not the best choice for remote regions.

ผลการประเมิน

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

25. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现良好,回答了问题并提供了观点。但是,可以改进的地方包括:

  1. 使用更准确的词汇和表达;

  2. 更详细地说明观点;

  3. 检查并修正语法错误。

示例1(改进词汇和表达): 原文:Admittedly, I agrre with Andrew that tourism is a sunstantial way to promote ecnomics. 修改后:Admittedly, I agree with Andrew that tourism is a substantial way to promote the economy.

示例2(详细说明观点): 原文:In my opinion, remote regions should not rely on tourism for development. 修改后:In my opinion, remote regions should not rely solely on tourism for development, as it may lead to negative consequences such as environmental degradation and disruption of local communities.

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面基本符合要求,有明确的引言、主体和结论。然而,可以改进的地方包括:

  1. 在段落之间使用更清晰的过渡词;

  2. 在主体段落中更明确地陈述论点。

示例1(使用过渡词): 原文:However, I doubt that the following results outweigh the economical profits. 修改后:On the other hand, I doubt that the potential negative consequences outweigh the economic benefits.

示例2(明确陈述论点): 原文:For one thing, the ecosystems in mountains and villages are frigile, and too many tourists contributes to environment pollution which cannot be reversed in a long time. 修改后:One major concern is that the fragile ecosystems in remote regions may be negatively impacted by an influx of tourists, leading to environmental pollution and long-lasting damage.

5. 语法批改

Admittedly, I agrreagree(misspelling) with Andrew that tourism is a sunstantialsubstantial(misspelling) way to promote ecnomicseconomics(misspelling). Because with tourists flooding in, agricultrualagricultural(misspelling) products are selling out which greatly improves the life of local people. However, I doubt that the following results outweigh the economical profits. In my opinion, remote regions should not rely on tourism for development. For one thing, the ecosystems in mountains and villages are frigilefragile(misspelling), and too many tourists contributes to environment pollution which cannot be reversed in a long time. For another, remote regions often accommadateaccommodate(misspelling) a small population and they live in a harmony. The boost of tourism is likely to disturb their peaceful life. Therefore, I think tourism is not the best choice for remote regions.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

While I acknowledge Andrew's perspective that tourism can significantly contribute to a region's economic growth, I believe that promoting tourism in remote areas may not be the most sustainable approach. Indeed, an influx of tourists can boost local agricultural sales and improve the quality of life for residents. However, potential negative consequences should also be considered. Fragile ecosystems in remote regions could suffer irreversible damage due to increased pollution and human activity. Additionally, these areas often have small populations living harmoniously, and a sudden surge in tourism might disrupt their peaceful existence. Consequently, I argue that alternative development strategies should be explored for remote regions rather than relying solely on tourism. (116 words)

Admittedly, Revised essay: Section Title: 7 Article Revision

While I agrre with Andrew acknowledge Andrew's perspective that tourism is can be a sunstantial substantial (changed "sunstantial" to "substantial" for correct spelling) way to promote ecnomics. Because with economics (changed "ecnomics" to "economics" for correct spelling), I believe that promoting tourism in remote areas may not be the most sustainable approach. Indeed, an influx of tourists flooding in, agricultrual products are selling out which greatly improves can boost local agricultural (changed "agricultrual" to "agricultural" for correct spelling) sales and improve the quality of life of local people. for residents. However, I doubt that the following results outweigh the economical profits. In my opinion, potential negative consequences should also be considered. Fragile (changed "frigile" to "fragile" for correct spelling) ecosystems in remote regions should not rely on tourism could suffer irreversible damage due to increased pollution and human activity. Additionally, these areas often accommodate (changed "accommadate" to "accommodate" for development. For one thing, the ecosystems in mountains and villages are frigile, and too many tourists contributes to environment pollution which cannot be reversed in a long time. For another, remote regions often accommadate correct spelling) a small population living harmoniously (added "living harmoniously" for clarity), and they live a sudden surge in a harmony. The boost of tourism is likely to disturb might disrupt their peaceful life. Therefore, existence. Consequently, I think tourism is not the best choice argue that alternative development strategies should be explored for remote regions.regions rather than relying solely on tourism.

8 思维导图


- 主题: 旅游业对偏远地区的影响
  - 支持观点: 旅游业有助于经济增长
    - 提高农产品销售
    - 改善居民生活质量
  - 反对观点: 推广旅游业不是最可持续的方法
    - 脆弱生态系统可能受到不可逆转的破坏
      - 增加污染
      - 增加人类活动
    - 突然涌入的游客可能破坏当地和谐生活
  - 结论: 应探索其他发展策略,而非仅依赖旅游业

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
perspective/pərˈspektɪv/nounA particular attitude or way of considering something.观点Andrew's perspective on tourism is different from mine.
sustainable/səˈsteɪnəbl/adjectiveAble to be maintained at a certain rate or level.可持续的Promoting tourism in remote areas may not be the most sustainable approach.
influx/ˈɪnflʌks/nounAn arrival or entry of large numbers of people or things.涌入An influx of tourists can boost local agricultural sales.
fragile/ˈfrædʒaɪl/adjectiveEasily broken or damaged; delicate.脆弱的Fragile ecosystems in remote regions could suffer irreversible damage.
irreversible/ˌɪrɪˈvɜrsəbl/adjectiveNot able to be undone or altered.不可逆转的Increased pollution and human activity could cause irreversible damage.
consequence/ˈkɒnsɪkwəns/nounA result or effect of an action or condition._结果,后果A sudden surge in tourism might have negative consequences for local residents.
harmoniously_ /hɑrˈmoʊniəsli/_adverbIn a way that is pleasingly consistent and orderly.和谐地These areas often have small populations living harmoniously.
alternative/ɔlˈtɜrnətiv/nounOne of two or more available possibilities.替代方案Alternative development strategies should be explored for remote regions.
solely/ˈsoʊlli/adverbNot involving anyone or anything else; only.仅仅,只是Remote regions should not rely solely on tourism for their development.
2

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน #2

In my opinion, promoting tourism to remote region that were not typically visited by tourists before is a superior strategy. While Claire presents a v...

คะแนน
26

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน

In my opinion, promoting tourism to remote region that were not typically visited by tourists before is a superior strategy. While Claire presents a valid point regarding governments should develop other industries like agriculture rather than spending too much effort in tourism, as she offers a comprehensive result, she fails to consider the potential benefits associated with providing sufficient entertaining and cultural facilities. Through these projects, tourists can enjoy coffee in a nice cafe, watch films in a decent theater, and go shopping around near houses, adding vibrancy to their everyday experience. Additionally, it's a great chance to create job opportunities if governments support tourism development in remote regions. To illustrate this, consider my friend's instance. He returned to his village and subsequently sought job due to the development of tourism in his rural area. Consequently, he had secured a stable job with a competitive salary to cover all the expenses, ranging from meals, clothes, to house mortgages.

ผลการประเมิน

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

从任务完成度的角度来看,这篇文章在很大程度上回答了问题,并提供了有力的论据。但是,文章可以在以下方面进行改进:首先,在表达观点时,可以更具体地说明为什么旅游业对偏远地区的经济发展有益;其次,在举例子时,尽量避免使用个人故事,而是给出更具普遍性和说服力的例子。

改进建议示例(英文):

  1. Instead of saying "adding vibrancy to their everyday experience," you could explain how tourism can help preserve local culture and traditions, which in turn attracts more tourists and generates income for the local community.

  2. Rather than using a personal story about your friend, provide a more general example, such as how the development of tourism in a remote region can lead to the creation of new businesses, such as hotels, restaurants, and souvenir shops, which in turn create more job opportunities for locals.

4. 文章结构与组织

从文章结构和组织的角度来看,这篇文章整体上呈现出清晰的结构。然而,在以下方面仍有改进空间:首先,引言部分可以更明确地表达作者的观点;其次,正文部分可以使用更多的过渡词和短语来连接不同的观点和论据。

改进建议示例(英文):

  1. In the introduction, instead of saying "promoting tourism to remote regions is a superior strategy," you could write "I believe that promoting tourism to remote regions can bring significant economic benefits and create job opportunities for the local population."

  2. To improve transitions between ideas, you could use phrases like "Furthermore" or "On the other hand" to introduce new points or contrasting viewpoints. For example, "Furthermore, promoting tourism can also help in preserving local culture and traditions."

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, promoting tourism to remote region thatregions, which were not typically visited by tourists beforebefore, is a superior strategy. While Claire presents a valid point regarding governments should developgovernments' focusing on developing other industries like agricultureindustries, such as agriculture, rather than spending too much effort inon tourism, asand she offers a comprehensive result, she fails to consider the potential benefits associated with providing sufficient entertainingentertainment and cultural facilities. Through these projects, tourists can enjoy coffee in a nice cafe,café, watch films in a decent theater, and go shopping around nearnearby houses, adding vibrancy to their everyday experience. Additionally, it's a great chance to create job opportunities if governments support tourism development in remote regions. To illustrate this, consider my friend's instance. He returned to his village and subsequently sought job due to the development of tourism in his rural area. Consequently, he had secured a stable job with a competitive salary to cover all the expenses, ranging from meals, clothes, to house mortgages.

Title: 6 文章修订

In my opinion, promoting tourism to remote regions not typically visited by tourists is a highly effective strategy. While Claire presents a valid point that governments should focus on developing other industries like agriculture rather than solely relying on tourism, she overlooks the potential benefits associated with providing diverse entertainment and cultural facilities. By introducing such amenities, tourists can enjoy coffee in charming cafes, watch films in well-equipped theaters, and shop in local markets, thereby enriching their overall experience.

Moreover, supporting tourism development in remote areas presents an excellent opportunity to create job prospects for the local population. To illustrate this point, consider the case of my friend who returned to his village due to the growth of tourism in his rural area. As a result of this development, he secured a stable job with a competitive salary that covers all his expenses, ranging from meals and clothing to housing costs. (154 words)

In my opinion, promoting tourism to remote region that were regions not typically visited by tourists before is a superior strategy. highly effective strategy (revised for clarity and conciseness). While Claire presents a valid point regarding that governments should develop focus on developing other industries like agriculture rather than spending too much effort in tourism, as solely relying on tourism (rephrased for clarity), she offers a comprehensive result, she fails to consider overlooks the potential benefits associated with providing sufficient entertaining diverse entertainment and cultural facilities. Through these projects, facilities (revised for accuracy). By introducing such amenities, tourists can enjoy coffee in a nice cafe, charming cafes (changed "nice" to "charming" for better word choice), watch films in a decent theater, and go shopping well-equipped theaters (changed "decent" to "well-equipped" for better word choice), and shop in local markets (changed "shopping around near houses, adding vibrancy to houses" to "shop in local markets" for clarity), thereby enriching their everyday overall experience.

Additionally, it's a great chance Moreover, supporting tourism development in remote areas presents an excellent opportunity to create job opportunities if governments support tourism development in remote regions. prospects for the local population (rephrased for clarity and conciseness). To illustrate this, this point, consider the case of my friend's instance. He friend who returned to his village and subsequently sought job due to the development growth of tourism in his rural area. Consequently, area (changed "instance" to "case" and rephrased sentence for clarity). As a result of this development, he had secured a stable job with a competitive salary to cover that covers all the his expenses, ranging from meals, clothes, to house mortgages.meals and clothing to housing costs (revised sentence structure for better flow).

Title: 8 思维导图

Mindmap:

1. Introduction
   - Promoting tourism in remote regions
   - Effective strategy

2. Diverse entertainment and cultural facilities
   - Charming cafes
   - Well-equipped theaters
   - Local markets

3. Benefits of tourism development
   - Enriching tourist experience

4. Job creation for local population
   - Case study: friend's village

5. Conclusion
   - Tourism as a valuable industry for remote regions 

Title: 9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
TourismˈtʊərɪzəmNounThe business of providing services to tourists旅游业Promoting tourism in remote regions is an effective strategy.
RemoterɪˈməʊtAdjectiveFar away in distance or time偏远的Remote areas can benefit from the development of tourism.
EntertainmentˌɛntərˈteɪnməntNounThe action of providing amusement or enjoyment娱乐Diverse entertainment facilities can enrich the tourist experience.
Cultural_ˈkʌltʃərəl_Adjective_Relating to the ideas, customs, and social behavior of a society_文化的_Cultural facilities can attract more tourists to remote areas.
Amenities_əˈmi:nɪtiz_Noun_A desirable or useful feature or facility of a building or place_便利设施_Introducing amenities like cafes and theaters can improve the overall experience for tourists.
Job prospects_dʒɒb ˈprɒspekts_Noun_The possibility of being successful at finding work in the future_就业前景_Tourism development in remote areas can create job prospects for the local population.
CompetitivekəmˈpetɪtɪvAdjectiveAs good as or better than others of a comparable nature竞争力强的My friend secured a stable job with a competitive salary due to tourism growth in his village.
SalaryˈsæləriNounA fixed regular payment, typically paid monthly, made by an employer to an employee薪水A stable job with a good salary can cover all expenses, such as meals, clothing, and housing costs.
ExpensesɪkˈspensɪzNounThe cost required for something; the money spent on something开支Tourism development can help locals secure jobs that cover their expenses.
Rural_ˈrʊərəl_Adjective_In, relating to, or characteristic of the countryside rather than the town_农村的_My friend returned to his rural area due to the growth of tourism there.
3

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน #3

I disagree that government promote tourists to remote regions not typically visited by tourists before. There are two reasons following the below. Fi...

คะแนน
25

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน

I disagree that government promote tourists to remote regions not typically visited by tourists before. There are two reasons following the below. First of all, remote regions tend not to build refined infrastructure, such as transportation, hotels and restaurants so on. It’s too unconventional to enjoy traveling. And at same time, government must spend extra time and money rebuilding, but these area’s actually haven’t extra taxation to cost just for tourist. In addition, as Claire alluded, remote regions need to find unique and suitable way to improve their life quality. If government invest tourists blindly rather than chewing over how to formulate optimal developmental plan seriously, citizen’s life wouldn’t become better to great degree. For example, one of remote regions belongs to mountainous area which suits to grow tea trees, and their tea has been well-known. Government should broaden their marketing channels, instead of building totally unconnected big amusement park.

ผลการประเมิน

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

25. 3 任务完成度

整体来说,你的文章回答了问题并表达了观点。但是,有一些地方可以改进。首先,在表达观点时,可以更具体地说明为什么不支持政府推广旅游业。其次,文章中有一些语法错误和不太准确的词汇使用。

改进建议示例(英文):

  1. Instead of saying "remote regions tend not to build refined infrastructure," you could say, "remote regions often lack well-developed infrastructure."

  2. Instead of saying "government must spend extra time and money rebuilding," you could say, "governments would need to invest significant time and resources in developing infrastructure."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面还有待提高。虽然你的文章包括了引言、正文和结论,但是在段落划分和过渡方面可以做得更好。建议将不同观点分成不同段落,并在段落之间使用过渡词汇。

改进建议示例(英文):

  1. You can divide your essay into separate paragraphs for each point, such as one paragraph discussing the lack of infrastructure and another discussing the need for a unique development plan.

  2. Use transition words or phrases like "Furthermore" or "On the other hand" to connect your ideas and make your essay flow more smoothly.

5. 语法批改

I disagree that governmentgovernments should promote tourists totourism in remote regions not typically visited by tourists before. There are two reasons following the below. First of all,following: Firstly, remote regions tendusually do not to buildhave refined infrastructure, such as transportation, hotelshotels, and restaurants so on. It's toorestaurants. It is unconventional to enjoy traveling. And attraveling in such areas. At the same time, governmentgovernments must spend extra time and money rebuilding, but these area's actually haven'tareas do not have extra taxation to cost just for tourist. In addition,cover the costs. Furthermore, as Claire alluded, remote regions need to find unique and suitable wayways to improve their life quality.quality of life. If governmentgovernments invest tourists blindly rather than chewing overin tourism blindly, without carefully considering how to formulate optimal developmental plan seriously, citizen's life wouldn'tdevelopment plan, citizens' lives would not become better to great degree.significantly better. For example, one of remote regions belongs toregion is a mountainous area which suits to growthat is suitable for growing tea trees, and their tea has beenis well-known. GovernmentThe government should broaden their marketing channels,channels instead of building totally unconnected big amusement park.

Display title: 6 文章修订

I believe that promoting tourism to remote regions not typically visited by tourists is not the most effective approach for governments. There are two primary reasons for this stance. Firstly, remote regions often lack the necessary infrastructure, such as transportation, hotels, and restaurants, making it challenging for tourists to enjoy their visit. Consequently, governments would need to invest significant time and resources into developing these areas without any guarantee of a return on investment.

Moreover, as Claire mentioned, remote regions should focus on identifying unique and suitable ways to improve their quality of life. Blindly investing in tourism without carefully considering an optimal development plan may not lead to substantial improvements in the lives of local citizens. For instance, if a remote region is known for its high-quality tea production due to its mountainous terrain, the government should prioritize expanding marketing channels for this product rather than constructing an unrelated amusement park. (156 words)

Revised essay: Display title: 6 文章修订

I disagree believe that government promote tourists promoting tourism to remote regions not typically visited by tourists before. is not the most effective approach for governments (clarified the stance and improved sentence structure). There are two two primary reasons following the below. First of all, for this stance. Firstly, remote regions tend not to build refined often lack the necessary infrastructure, such as transportation, hotels hotels, and restaurants so on. It’s too unconventional (rephrased for clarity), making it challenging for tourists to enjoy traveling. And at same time, their visit. Consequently, governments would need to invest significant time and resources into developing these areas without any guarantee of a return on investment (explained the potential issue with government must spend extra time and money rebuilding, but these area’s actually haven’t extra taxation to cost just for tourist. In addition, investment).

Moreover, as Claire alluded, mentioned, remote regions need to find should focus on identifying unique and suitable way ways to improve their quality of life quality. If (rephrased for clarity). Blindly investing in tourism without carefully considering an optimal development plan may not lead to substantial improvements in the lives of local citizens (explained the potential negative outcome). For instance, if a remote region is known for its high-quality tea production due to its mountainous terrain, the government invest tourists blindly should prioritize expanding marketing channels for this product rather than chewing over how to formulate optimal developmental plan seriously, citizen’s life wouldn’t become better to great degree. For example, one of remote regions belongs to mountainous area which suits to grow tea trees, and their tea has been well-known. Government should broaden their marketing channels, instead of building totally unconnected big constructing an unrelated amusement park.park (provided a specific example to support the argument).

Display title: 8 思维导图


1. Introduction
   - Thesis statement: Promoting tourism in remote regions is not the most effective approach for governments

2. Lack of infrastructure
   - Transportation
   - Hotels
   - Restaurants
   - Challenging for tourists to enjoy their visit

3. Government investment
   - Time and resources needed for development
   - No guarantee of return on investment

4. Focus on unique and suitable ways to improve quality of life
   - Claire's argument mentioned

5. Example: High-quality tea production in a remote region
   - Prioritize expanding marketing channels for the product rather than constructing an unrelated amusement park.

6. Conclusion 
   - Reiterate thesis statement and main points 

Display title: 9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
Infrastructure/ˈɪnfrəˌstrʌktʃər/NounThe basic physical and organizational structures and facilities needed for the operation of a society or enterprise基础设施The lack of infrastructure in remote regions makes it difficult for tourists to enjoy their visit.
Investment/ɪnˈvɛstmənt/NounThe action or process of investing money for profit or material result投资Governments would need to invest significant time and resources into developing these areas.
Return on investment/rɪˈtɜrn ɒn ɪnˈvɛstmənt/NounA performance measure used to evaluate the efficiency of an investment or compare the efficiency of a number of different investments投资回报率There is no guarantee of a return on investment when promoting tourism in remote regions.
Quality of life/ˈkwɒlɪti əv laɪf/NounThe standard of health, comfort, and happiness experienced by an individual or group生活质量Remote regions should focus on identifying unique and suitable ways to improve their quality of life.
Optimal/ˈɒptɪməl/AdjectiveBest or most favorable; optimum最佳的Blindly investing in tourism without carefully considering an optimal development plan may not be effective.
Development/dɪˈvɛləpmənt/NounThe process of developing or being developed发展An optimal development plan is necessary for improving the lives of local citizens in remote regions.
Marketing channels/ˈmɑrkɪtɪŋ ˈʧænəlz/NounA set of intermediaries or middlemen that help move a product from the producer to the end consumer营销渠道The government should prioritize expanding marketing channels for high-quality tea production.
Amusement park/əˈmjuzmənt pɑrk/NounA large outdoor area with fairground rides, shows, refreshments, games of chance or skill, and other entertainments游乐园Constructing an unrelated amusement park may not lead to substantial improvements in the lives of local citizens.
Mountainous/ˈmaʊntənəs/AdjectiveHaving many mountains or consisting mainly of mountains多山的The remote region is known for its high-quality tea production due to its mountainous terrain.
4

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน #4

Claire presents an appealing idea that governments should not promote tourism to remote regions. Admittedly, local people may not want high attention ...

คะแนน
25

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน

Claire presents an appealing idea that governments should not promote tourism to remote regions. Admittedly, local people may not want high attention for them.However, i am inclined to prioritize the development of local tourism, especilly considering the advantage of financial, just like andrew said, some poor regions are seldomly get the chance to improve their life quality, such change made by local tourism will gain more good affect.In my view to actively encourage the tourism can enhace the future development of some poor regions. For example. if government decided to encourage travel plan in some region, then the construction of infrastruction will follow, the main road will renew, perherps some local shop will get financal support.Anyway,whether the condition of town, or the life qulity of local people will get big and better chage.Therefore, i firmly believe that goverments should promote tourism to remote regions.

ผลการประเมิน

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

  • 25

3. 任务完成度

整体来说,你的文章回答了问题并表达了观点。但是,有一些地方需要改进。首先,在引用阅读材料时,尽量使用自己的话进行总结和解释。其次,你的论据可以更具体和详细。例如,你可以提供一些具体的例子来说明旅游业如何改善当地人的生活质量。

示例1: 原文:In my view to actively encourage the tourism can enhace the future development of some poor regions. 修改:In my opinion, actively promoting tourism can significantly contribute to the economic growth and overall development of impoverished regions.

示例2: 原文:Anyway,whether the condition of town, or the life qulity of local people will get big and better chage. 修改:As a result, both the infrastructure of these towns and the quality of life for local residents will experience significant improvements.

4. 文章结构与组织

你的文章结构基本清晰,但仍有改进空间。首先,在引言部分明确表达你的观点,并在正文中逐一阐述支持观点的论据。另外,在段落之间使用过渡词或短语来使文章更连贯。

建议1: 在引言部分明确表达观点。例如: In this essay, I will argue that governments should promote tourism to remote regions due to its potential economic benefits and improvements in the quality of life for local residents.

建议2: 使用过渡词或短语。例如: Firstly, promoting tourism can boost the local economy by creating job opportunities and attracting investments. Secondly, the increased revenue from tourism can be used to improve infrastructure and public services in these regions.

5. 语法批改

Claire presents an appealing idea that governments should not promote tourism to remote regions. Admittedly, local people may not want high attention for them.However However(Missing space between sentences), iI(i vs. I) am inclined to prioritize the development of local tourism, especillyespecially(misspelling) considering the advantage of financial, just like andrewAndrew(misspelling) said, some poor regions are seldomly getgot(Agreement: 'been' or 'was' + past tense) the chance to improve their life quality, such change made by local tourism will gain more good affect.In In(Missing space between sentences) my viewview,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) to actively encourage the tourism can enhaceenhance(misspelling) the future development of some poor regions. For example. ifIf(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) government decided to encourage travel plan in some region, then the construction of infrastructioninfrastructure(misspelling) will follow, the main road will renew, perherpsperhaps(misspelling) some local shop will get financalfinancial(misspelling) support.Anyway Anyway(Missing space between sentences),whether, whether(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) the condition of town, or the life qulityquality(misspelling) of local people will get big and better chagechange(misspelling).Therefore Therefore(Missing space between sentences), iI(i vs. I) firmly believe that govermentsgovernments(misspelling) should promote tourism to remote regions.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

Claire argues against promoting tourism in remote regions, suggesting that governments should focus on alternative methods for economic improvement, such as expanding agriculture or other industries. While her perspective is valid, I believe that the development of local tourism should be prioritized, particularly for its financial benefits. As Andrew mentioned, impoverished areas rarely have opportunities to enhance their quality of life, and tourism can provide a significant positive impact. Encouraging tourism can stimulate the future growth of these regions. For instance, if the government supports travel initiatives in specific areas, infrastructure development will follow suit—main roads will be upgraded, and local businesses may receive financial assistance. Consequently, both the town's condition and residents' quality of life will experience substantial improvements. Therefore, I strongly advocate for governments to promote tourism in remote regions. (137 words)

Claire presents argues against promoting tourism in remote regions (Changed "presents an appealing idea that governments should not promote tourism to remote regions. Admittedly, local people may not want high attention for them.However, i regions" to make it more concise and clear), suggesting that governments should focus on alternative methods for economic improvement, such as expanding agriculture or other industries. While her perspective is valid, I believe that the development of local tourism should be prioritized (Changed "i am inclined to prioritize the development of local tourism, especilly considering the advantage of financial, just like andrew said, some tourism" for clarity and proper capitalization), particularly for its financial benefits. As Andrew mentioned, impoverished areas rarely have opportunities to enhance their quality of life (Changed "some poor regions are seldomly get the chance to improve their life quality, such change made by local tourism will gain more good affect.In quality" for grammar and clarity), and tourism can provide a significant positive impact. Encouraging tourism can stimulate the future growth of these regions (Changed "In my view to actively encourage the tourism can enhace the future development of some poor regions. regions" for clarity). For example. instance, if the government supports travel initiatives in specific areas, infrastructure development will follow suit—main roads will be upgraded, and local businesses may receive financial assistance (Rephrased "if government decided to encourage travel plan in some region, then the construction of infrastruction will follow, the main road will renew, perherps some local shop will get financal support.Anyway,whether support" for grammar and clarity). Consequently, both the town's condition and residents' quality of life will experience substantial improvements (Changed "Anyway,whether the condition of town, or the life qulity of local people will get big and better chage.Therefore, i chage" for grammar and clarity). Therefore, I strongly advocate for governments to promote tourism in remote regions (Changed "i firmly believe that goverments should promote tourism to remote regions.regions" for proper capitalization and stronger language).

8 思维导图


1. Introduction
   - Claire's argument
   - Counterargument

2. Financial benefits of tourism
   - Quality of life improvement
   - Positive impact on impoverished areas

3. Future growth stimulation
   - Government support for travel initiatives
   - Infrastructure development

4. Upgraded main roads and local businesses
   - Financial assistance for businesses
   - Improved town conditions and residents' quality of life

5. Conclusion
   - Advocating for promoting tourism in remote regions

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
perspective/pərˈspektɪv/nounA particular attitude or way of regarding something观点Her perspective is valid, but I believe in promoting tourism.
impoverished/ɪmˈpɒvərɪʃt/adjectivePoor; lacking in resources贫困的Impoverished areas rarely have opportunities to improve.
stimulate/ˈstɪmjuleɪt/verbEncourage or promote development or activity刺激Encouraging tourism can stimulate future growth.
infrastructure/ˈɪnfrəstrʌktʃər/nounBasic physical and organizational structures needed.基础设施Infrastructure development will follow suit with tourism.
advocate/ˈædvəkeɪt/verb/nounPublicly recommend or support提倡I strongly advocate for promoting tourism in remote regions.
substantial/səbˈstanʃəl/adjectiveConsiderable in quantity or quality大量的Residents' quality of life will experience substantial improvements.
alternative/ɔːlˈtɜːrnətɪv/noun/adjectiveAnother option or possibility另一种选择Focus on alternative methods for economic improvement.
prioritize/praɪˈɒrɪtaɪz/verbTreat as more important than others优先考虑I believe that the development of local tourism should be prioritized.
assistance/əˈsɪstəns/noun_Help or support given to others援助Local businesses may receive financial assistance.
consequently/ˈkɒnsɪkwəntli/adverb_As a result; therefore因此Consequently, both the town's condition and residents' quality of life will improve.
5

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน #5

In my perspective,I do believe that tourism can make money. However, I do not suppose that tourism can make profist. First of all, in order to develop...

คะแนน
22

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน

In my perspective,I do believe that tourism can make money. However, I do not suppose that tourism can make profist. First of all, in order to develop tourism, government has to construct numerous facilities to support the running of view sites. For example, the government needs to explore a new line for buses whose destination should be the view site. Moreover, to make the view site environmental friendly, the government also have to build some public systems the treat with pollution and trash produced by the tourists. As a result, even thought tourists spend a lot in this city, the expenses related to tourism are very high, leading to less profit from this business. As a result, the developing tourism will not be profitable.

ผลการประเมิน

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

22. 3 任务完成度

在这篇文章中,你对于是否应该发展旅游业的观点表达得很清楚。然而,你的回答并没有充分回应阅读材料中的问题,即政府是否应该推广偏远地区的旅游业。为了更好地完成任务,你需要针对阅读材料中提到的观点进行讨论,并给出自己的看法。

改进建议:

  • 针对阅读材料中提到的观点进行讨论,例如与Andrew和Claire的观点进行比较。

  • 给出具体例子来支持你的观点。

示例:

  1. "While I agree with Andrew that tourism can improve the economy of rural regions, I also share Claire's concern about the potential negative impacts on local communities."

  2. "Instead of solely focusing on tourism, governments should consider a balanced approach that includes both tourism promotion and the development of other industries, as suggested by Claire."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构方面还有待改进。虽然你有一个简短的引言和结论,但是正文部分缺乏明确的段落划分。此外,在表达观点时,缺乏清晰的过渡词和短语。

改进建议:

  • 使用清晰的段落划分,每个段落只讨论一个观点。

  • 使用过渡词和短语来连接观点和段落。

示例:

  1. "Firstly, promoting tourism in remote regions can indeed boost the local economy, as Andrew mentioned. However, it is essential to consider the potential negative impacts on the environment and local communities."

  2. "On the other hand, Claire's suggestion of focusing on other industries such as agriculture might provide a more sustainable solution for improving the economic situation in remote areas."

5. 语法批改

In my perspective,I, I(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) do believe that tourism can make money. However, I do not suppose that tourism can make profistprofit(misspelling). First of allFirst(first of all (first)), in order to develop tourism, government has to construct numerous facilities to support the running of (Two consecutive spaces)view sites. For example, the government needs to explore a new line for buses whose destination should be the view site. Moreover, to make the view site environmental friendly, the government also havehas(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb) to build some public systems theto(Detects potentially wrong usage of "the") treat with (Two consecutive spaces)pollution and trash produced by the tourists. As a result, even thoughtthough(Detects potentially wrong usage of "thought") tourists spend a lot in this city, the expenses related to tourism are very high, leading to less profit from this business. As a result, the developing tourism will not be profitable.

Display title: 6 文章修订

In my opinion, while tourism can generate revenue, it may not necessarily yield significant profits. To develop tourism in remote regions, governments must invest in various facilities and infrastructure to support these sites. For instance, they need to establish new transportation routes, such as bus lines connecting the tourist attractions. Additionally, to maintain an eco-friendly environment, governments must implement public systems for pollution control and waste management resulting from increased tourist activity. Consequently, despite tourists spending substantial amounts in these areas, the expenses associated with developing and maintaining tourism can be quite high. This may lead to minimal profits from this industry; therefore, promoting tourism in remote regions might not be as lucrative as anticipated. (119 words)

In my perspective,I do believe that opinion, while tourism can make money. However, I do generate revenue (revised for clarity and natural tone), it may not suppose that necessarily yield significant profits. To develop tourism in remote regions (added for specificity), governments must invest in various facilities and infrastructure to support these sites (revised for clarity). For instance, they need to establish new transportation routes, such as bus lines connecting the tourist attractions (revised for clarity and natural tone). Additionally, to maintain an eco-friendly environment (revised for natural tone), governments must implement public systems for pollution control and waste management resulting from increased tourist activity (revised for clarity). Consequently, despite tourists spending substantial amounts in these areas (revised for natural tone), the expenses associated with developing and maintaining tourism can make profist. First of all, in order be quite high (revised for clarity). This may lead to develop tourism, government has to construct numerous facilities to support the running of view sites. For example, the government needs to explore a new line for buses whose destination should be the view site. Moreover, to make the view site environmental friendly, the government also have to build some public systems the treat with pollution and trash produced by the tourists. As a result, even thought tourists spend a lot in this city, the expenses related to tourism are very high, leading to less profit minimal profits from this business. As a result, the developing industry; therefore, promoting tourism will in remote regions might not be profitable.as lucrative as anticipated (revised for clarity and natural tone).

8 思维导图


- 主题:旅游业在偏远地区的利润
  - 支持点1:政府投资
    - 交通设施
    - 生态环境保护
  - 支持点2:旅游收入与支出
    - 游客消费
    - 开发和维护成本
  - 结论:偏远地区旅游业的盈利可能有限

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
revenue/ˈrɛvənju/nounincome, especially when of an organization收入Tourism can generate revenue for remote regions.
infrastructure/ˈɪnfrəstrʌktʃər/nounbasic physical and organizational structures needed基础设施Governments must invest in infrastructure to support tourism.
eco-friendly/ˌikoʊˈfrɛndli/adjectivenot harmful to the environment环保To maintain an eco-friendly environment, governments must implement pollution control systems.
expenses/ɪkˈspɛnsɪz/nounthe cost required for something; the money spent on something开支The expenses associated with developing and maintaining tourism can be quite high.
profits/ˈprɒfɪts/nounthe financial gain (especially the difference between the amount earned and the amount spent in buying, operating, or producing something)利润This may lead to minimal profits from this industry.
lucrative/ˈluːkrətɪv/adjectiveproducing a great deal of profit有利可图的Promoting tourism in remote regions might not be as lucrative as anticipated.
remote/rɪˈmoʊt/adjectivefar away in distance or time; isolated偏远的To develop tourism in remote regions, governments must invest in various facilities and infrastructure.
transportation/ˌtrænspərˈteɪʃən/nounthe action of transporting someone or something or the process of being transported交通运输They need to establish new transportation routes, such as bus lines connecting the tourist attractions.
pollution control/pəˈluʃən kənˈtroʊl/nounmeasures taken to reduce or eliminate pollution污染控制Governments must implement public systems for pollution control.
waste management/weɪst ˈmænɪdʒmənt/nounthe collection, transport, processing, and disposal of waste materials废物管理Governments must implement public systems for waste management resulting from increased tourist activity.

6 文章修订

In my opinion, while tourism can generate revenue, it may not necessarily yield significant profits. To develop tourism in remote regions, governments must invest in various facilities and infrastructure to support these sites. For instance, they need to establish new transportation routes, such as bus lines connecting the tourist attractions. Additionally, to maintain an eco-friendly environment, governments must implement public systems for pollution control and waste management resulting from increased tourist activity. Consequently, despite tourists spending substantial amounts in these areas, the expenses associated with developing and maintaining tourism can be quite high. This may lead to minimal profits from this industry; therefore, promoting tourism in remote regions might not be as lucrative as anticipated.

6

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน #6

In my view, Claire's support is wiser than Andrew's proposition. Contrary to Andrew's claim, instead of positive effects on developing traveling indu...

คะแนน
26

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน

In my view, Claire's support is wiser than Andrew's proposition. Contrary to Andrew's claim, instead of positive effects on developing traveling industry, there are other nagetive layers like wasting a lot of money, increasing financial burden, emits more pollution into the atmosphere, which is totally harmful for the development of the regions. As Claire states, it is getting involved in constructing other local industries that helps provide pretty good opportunities for societies to get promoted. Plus, lacking traveling sites is not instrumental in attracting tourists, which will lead to an consequence that less people are likely to go to the places to contribute better regions. Take my friend Jane as an example. She used to work in a remote mountain area named Daliangshan which have a little places for visiters to view. However, due to the pressure of her leader, she had to help the local government develop tourism as an senior resources allocation planner. As a result, the government spent a lot of money but let less people to go to this place for the reason of disteresting of the sites.

ผลการประเมิน

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

整体来说,你的文章回答了问题并表达了观点。但是,有一些地方需要改进。首先,在引用他人观点时,应更详细地解释为什么你同意或不同意他们的看法。其次,尽量避免使用过于复杂的句子结构,以免造成理解困难。最后,请注意检查语法错误和词汇使用。

改进示例1(英文): Instead of saying "In my view, Claire's support is wiser than Andrew's proposition," you could say "I agree with Claire's argument that governments should focus on developing other industries rather than promoting tourism in remote regions."

改进示例2(英文): Instead of saying "Take my friend Jane as an example," you could say "For instance, I know someone who worked in a remote mountain area where the government tried to develop tourism but failed due to the lack of interesting sites."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面还有待提高。首先,需要在开头部分明确表达自己的观点,并在正文部分逐一论证。其次,在每个段落中关注一个具体观点,并提供支持细节。最后,请注意在段落之间使用清晰的过渡词,使文章更连贯。

改进示例1(英文): You could start your essay with a clear statement of your opinion, such as "I believe that governments should not promote tourism in remote regions, as it may not be the most effective way to improve their economies."

改进示例2(英文): Instead of combining several points in one paragraph, separate them into different paragraphs. For example, you could have one paragraph discussing the negative effects of promoting tourism and another paragraph discussing alternative ways to improve the economy.

5. 语法批改

In my view, Claire's support is wiser than Andrew's proposition. Contrary to Andrew's claim, instead of positive effects on developing traveling industry, there are other nagetivenative(misspelling) layers like wasting a lot of money, increasing financial burden, (Two consecutive spaces)emits more pollution into the atmosphere, which is totally harmful for the development of the regions. As Claire states, it is getting involved in constructing other local industries that helpshelp(Do not believe any ratings that is (are) less than 5 stars) provide pretty good opportunities for societies to get promoted. Plus, lacking traveling sites is not instrumental in attracting tourists, which will lead to ana(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') consequence that lessfewer(fewer with countable nouns (less)) people are likely to go to the places to contribute better regions. Take my friend Jane as an example. She used to work in a remote mountain area named Daliangshan[No Replacement Word Found](misspelling) which have a little placesa little place(Agreement: 'a' + plural word) for visitersvisitors(misspelling) to view. However, due to the pressure of her leader, she had to help the local government develop tourism as ana(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') senior resourcesresources'(Possessive apostrophe error) allocation planner. As a result, the government spent a lot of money but let less people to go to this place for the reason of disterestinginteresting(misspelling) of the sites.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

In my perspective, Claire's argument holds more merit than Andrew's proposition. Contrary to Andrew's assertion that promoting tourism in remote regions would have positive effects, there are several negative aspects to consider, such as increased financial burden, wasted resources, and heightened pollution levels. These factors could ultimately hinder the development of these regions. As Claire suggests, focusing on the expansion of local industries may provide more sustainable opportunities for economic growth and societal advancement. Moreover, the absence of appealing tourist attractions could result in fewer visitors, thus limiting the potential benefits of promoting tourism in these areas. For instance, my friend Jane once worked as a senior resource allocation planner in a remote mountainous region called Daliangshan, which had limited tourist appeal. Despite her superior's insistence on developing tourism in the area, the government's efforts proved futile as they invested heavily only to attract minimal interest from potential visitors due to the lack of captivating sites. (161 words)

In my view, perspective [changed "view" to "perspective" for a more natural tone], Claire's support is wiser argument holds more merit than Andrew's proposition. Contrary to Andrew's claim, instead of assertion that promoting tourism in remote regions would have positive effects on developing traveling industry, effects, there are other nagetive layers like wasting a lot of money, increasing several negative aspects to consider, such as increased financial burden, emits more burden [clarified the phrase], wasted resources, and heightened pollution into the atmosphere, which is totally harmful for levels. These factors could ultimately hinder the development of the these regions. As Claire states, it is getting involved in constructing other suggests, focusing on the expansion of local industries that helps may provide pretty good more sustainable opportunities for societies to get promoted. Plus, lacking traveling sites is not instrumental economic growth and societal advancement [rephrased for clarity]. Moreover, the absence of appealing tourist attractions could result in attracting tourists, which will lead to an consequence that less people are likely to go to fewer visitors, thus limiting the places to contribute potential benefits of promoting tourism in these areas [rephrased for better regions. Take flow]. For instance, my friend Jane once worked as an example. She used to work a senior resource allocation planner in a remote mountain area named Daliangshan mountainous region called Daliangshan, which have a little places for visiters had limited tourist appeal [corrected spelling and phrasing]. Despite her superior's insistence on developing tourism in the area, the government's efforts proved futile as they invested heavily only to view. However, attract minimal interest from potential visitors due to the pressure lack of her leader, she had to help the local government develop tourism as an senior resources allocation planner. As a result, the government spent a lot of money but let less people to go to this place captivating sites [rephrased for the reason of disteresting of the sites.clarity and readability].

8 思维导图


- Main Argument
    - Claire's argument holds more merit
    - Focus on local industries for sustainable growth

- Andrew's Proposition
    - Promoting tourism in remote regions
    - Positive effects?

- Negative Aspects of Tourism
    - Financial burden
    - Wasted resources
    - Heightened pollution levels

- Limited Tourist Appeal
    - Fewer visitors due to lack of attractions
    - Example: Daliangshan region with minimal interest from potential visitors

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
perspective/pərˈspɛktɪv/nouna particular attitude or way of considering something观点In my perspective, Claire's argument holds more merit.
assertion/əˈsɜːrʃən/nouna confident and forceful statement of fact or belief主张Contrary to Andrew's assertion that promoting tourism would have positive effects.
sustainable/səˈsteɪnəbəl/adjectiveable to be maintained at a certain rate or level可持续的Focusing on the expansion of local industries may provide more sustainable opportunities for economic growth.
advancement/ədˈvænsmənt/noun_the process of promoting a cause or plan发展Focusing on the expansion of local industries may provide more opportunities for societal advancement.
futile/ˈfjuːtaɪl/adjectiveincapable of producing any useful result; pointless徒劳的The government's efforts proved futile as they invested heavily only to attract minimal interest from visitors.
resource allocation/rɪˈsɔrs ˌæləˈkeɪʃən/nounthe process of assigning and managing assets to achieve goals资源分配Jane once worked as a senior resource allocation planner in a remote mountainous region called Daliangshan.
pollution/pəˈluːʃən/nounthe presence in or introduction into the environment of contaminants or substances that cause harm or discomfort污染Heightened pollution levels could ultimately hinder the development of these regions.
captivating/ˈkæptɪveɪtɪŋ/adjective_capable of attracting and holding interest; charming迷人的The lack of captivating sites resulted in minimal interest from potential visitors.
insistence/ɪnˈsɪstəns/noun_the act of demanding something forcefully or persistently坚持Despite her superior's insistence on developing tourism in the area, the government's efforts proved futile.
7

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน #7

In my opinion,promoting tourism in remote villages will yield significant benefits when inplemented approriately and in mordenization. As the economi...

คะแนน
26

ตัวอย่างจากผู้ใช้งาน

In my opinion,promoting tourism in remote villages will yield significant benefits when inplemented approriately and in mordenization. As the economic development gap has strained between urban area and rural villages, developing tourism of remote area can allow residents who live there to broaden the ways for them to maximize natural resources and subsist their lives, ultimately alleviates the economic unfairness pheonomenon in the long run. Moreover, developing tourism in remote area can offer citizens who suffer from excessive workload a place to relax their mind and step away from mental pressure brought by work and study, fostering a motivation to refresh themselves and live in well-being overall. While Claire's perspective acknowledges the benefits of improving agricultures and other industries in remote area, it overlooks the significance of maximize the natural resource in villages. Thus, I firmly believe that promotion on tourism in remote area should be of paramount importance.

ผลการประเมิน

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

总体来说,你的文章在回答问题方面做得很好,观点明确且与讨论相关。然而,有一些方面可以改进。首先,在支持观点时,可以提供更具体的例子或数据。其次,在语言使用和语法方面,尽管大部分表达清晰易懂,但仍有一些小错误需要纠正。

示例1:在支持观点时,可以加入关于旅游业如何为当地居民创造就业机会的具体例子。 示例2:在语言使用上,请注意避免使用不恰当的词汇(如“mordenization”应改为“modernization”)。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构基本合理,包括引言、主体和结论。然而,在段落之间的过渡和逻辑组织方面还有待加强。建议在段落之间添加过渡句子以更好地连接各个观点。

建议1:在第一段和第二段之间添加一个过渡句子,例如:“虽然发展农业和其他产业对偏远地区的经济发展有益,但旅游业同样具有重要价值。” 建议2:在文章结尾部分,可以加入一个总结句子以强调你的观点,例如:“综上所述,政府应积极推广偏远地区的旅游业,以实现经济发展和资源最大化。”

5. 语法批改

In my opinion,promoting, promoting(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) tourism in remote villages will yield significant benefits when inplementedimplemented(misspelling) approriatelyappropriately(misspelling) and in mordenizationmodernization(misspelling).

As the economic development gap has strained between urban area and rural villages, developing tourism of remote area can allow residents who live there to broaden the ways for them to maximize natural resources and subsist their lives, ultimately alleviates the economic unfairness pheonomenonphenomenon(misspelling) in the long run. Moreover, developing tourism in remote area can offer citizens who suffer from excessive workload a place to relax their mind and step away from mental pressure brought by work and study, fostering a motivation to refresh themselves and live in well-being overall.

While Claire's perspective acknowledges the benefits of improving agriculturesagriculture(misspelling) and other industries in remote area, it overlooks the significance of maximize the natural resource in villages. Thus, I firmly believe that promotion onof(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) tourism in remote area should be of paramount importance.

Title: 6 文章修订

In my opinion, promoting tourism in remote regions can yield significant benefits when implemented appropriately and with modernization in mind.

As the economic development gap between urban and rural areas continues to widen, fostering tourism in remote regions can enable residents to diversify their income sources by capitalizing on their natural resources and cultural heritage. This approach can help alleviate economic disparities in the long run. Moreover, promoting tourism in remote areas offers urban dwellers a chance to escape the stresses of city life, providing them with opportunities to relax and rejuvenate, ultimately contributing to overall well-being.

While Claire's perspective highlights the advantages of enhancing agriculture and other industries in remote regions, it fails to recognize the importance of maximizing the potential of natural resources found within these villages. Therefore, I firmly believe that promoting tourism in remote areas should be considered a priority for both local and national governments. (153 words)

In my opinion,promoting tourism in remote villages will opinion, promoting tourism in remote regions can yield significant benefits when inplemented approriately and in mordenization. implemented appropriately and with modernization in mind (revised for clarity and proper word usage).

As the economic development gap has strained between urban area and rural villages, developing tourism of remote area areas continues to widen (revised for clarity), fostering tourism in remote regions can allow enable residents who live there to broaden the ways for them to maximize to diversify their income sources by capitalizing on their natural resources and subsist their lives, ultimately alleviates the cultural heritage (revised for better flow). This approach can help alleviate economic unfairness pheonomenon disparities in the long run. Moreover, developing tourism in remote area can offer citizens who suffer from excessive workload promoting tourism in remote areas offers urban dwellers a place chance to escape the stresses of city life (revised for better flow), providing them with opportunities to relax their mind and step away from mental pressure brought by work and study, fostering a motivation to refresh themselves and live in and rejuvenate, ultimately contributing to overall well-being overall. (revised for clarity).

While Claire's perspective acknowledges the benefits of improving agricultures highlights the advantages of enhancing agriculture and other industries in remote area, regions, it overlooks the significance of maximize the fails to recognize the importance of maximizing the potential of natural resource in villages. Thus, resources found within these villages (revised for clarity). Therefore, I firmly believe that promotion on tourism in remote area promoting tourism in remote areas should be of paramount importance.considered a priority for both local and national governments (revised for better flow).

8 思维导图


1. Introduction
   - Promoting tourism in remote regions
   - Implemented appropriately and with modernization

2. Economic benefits
   - Diversify income sources for residents
   - Capitalize on natural resources and cultural heritage
   - Alleviate economic disparities

3. Benefits for urban dwellers
   - Escape stresses of city life
   - Relax and rejuvenate
   - Contribute to overall well-being

4. Claire's perspective
   - Enhancing agriculture and other industries in remote regions

5. Importance of natural resources
   - Maximize potential of resources found within villages

6. Conclusion
   - Promoting tourism as a priority for local and national governments

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
promote/prəˈmoʊt/verbto encourage the popularity, sale, development, or existence of促进Promoting tourism in remote regions can yield significant benefits.
modernization/ˌmɒdərnaɪˈzeɪʃən/nounthe process of adapting something to modern needs or habits现代化The plan should be implemented with modernization in mind.
diversify/daɪˈvɜrsɪfaɪ/verbto make or become more varied多样化Residents can diversify their income sources by capitalizing on their natural resources.
disparity/dɪˈspærɪti/nouna great difference差距This approach can help alleviate economic disparities in the long run.
rejuvenate/rɪˈdʒuːvəneɪt/verbto make someone look or feel younger, fresher, or more lively使恢复活力Visiting remote regions provides opportunities to relax and rejuvenate.
agriculture/ˈægrɪkʌltʃər/nounthe science or practice of farming农业Claire's perspective highlights the advantages of enhancing agriculture in remote regions.
maximize/ˈmæksɪmaɪz/verbto make as large or great as possible最大化It is important to maximize the potential of natural resources found within these villages.
priority/praɪˈɒrəti/nounsomething that is considered more important than other matters优先事项Promoting tourism in remote areas should be considered a priority for both local and national governments.
implemented/ˈimpləmentid/verbto put a decision, plan, agreement, etc. into effect实施The plan was implemented appropriately and with modernization in mind.

วิธีการให้คะแนน Academic Discussion

โจทย์ TOEFL Academic Discussion จะได้รับการประเมินตามเกณฑ์การให้คะแนนอย่างเป็นทางการของ ETS โดย AI จะวิเคราะห์แต่ละคำตอบในหลายมิติ

ความเกี่ยวข้องและการมีส่วนร่วม

คำตอบตอบโจทย์คำถามและมีส่วนร่วมในการอภิปรายอย่างมีนัยสำคัญหรือไม่?

การใช้ภาษา

ความถูกต้องด้านไวยากรณ์ ความหลากหลายของคำศัพท์ และคุณภาพของโครงสร้างประโยค

การพัฒนาเนื้อหาและการสนับสนุน

แนวคิดได้รับการพัฒนาอย่างดีด้วยตัวอย่างที่เฉพาะเจาะจงและเหตุผลที่ชัดเจนหรือไม่?

รูปแบบที่พบบ่อยในคำตอบ

จากการวิเคราะห์คำตอบของผู้ใช้งานสำหรับโจทย์นี้ นี่คือรูปแบบที่พบบ่อยในคำตอบของนักเรียน

นักเรียนหลายคนแสดงความคิดเห็นที่ชัดเจนแต่ขาดตัวอย่างสนับสนุนที่เฉพาะเจาะจง

คำตอบที่ดีมักอ้างอิงบทอ่านและมุมมองของผู้พูดคนอื่นโดยตรง

คำตอบที่ได้คะแนนสูงมักใช้โครงสร้างประโยคที่หลากหลายและคำศัพท์เชิงวิชาการ

การบริหารเวลาเป็นปัจจัยสำคัญ — คำตอบที่ดูรีบร้อนมักได้คะแนนต่ำในด้านการพัฒนาเนื้อหา

เคล็ดลับการเรียนรู้

1

อ่านโจทย์อย่างละเอียดและระบุทุกส่วนของคำถามก่อนเริ่มเขียน

2

อ้างอิงบทอ่านและความคิดเห็นของนักเรียนคนอื่นในคำตอบของคุณ

3

ใช้ตัวอย่างที่เฉพาะเจาะจงเพื่อสนับสนุนประเด็นหลัก — หลีกเลี่ยงข้อความทั่วไป

4

ตั้งเป้าไว้ที่ 120-150 คำ คำตอบที่ยาวกว่าไม่ได้แปลว่าดีกว่าเสมอไป ความชัดเจนและการโฟกัสสำคัญกว่า

5

ฝึกตอบแบบจับเวลา (10 นาที) เพื่อสร้างความคล่องแคล่วภายใต้เงื่อนไขการสอบจริง

คำถามที่พบบ่อย

งาน TOEFL Academic Discussion คืออะไร
งาน TOEFL Academic Discussion กำหนดให้คุณร่วมแสดงความคิดเห็นในกระดานสนทนาออนไลน์ของชั้นเรียน คุณจะได้อ่านคำถามจากอาจารย์และคำตอบของนักเรียนคนอื่น จากนั้นเขียนโพสต์ของคุณเองเพื่อแสดงและสนับสนุนความคิดเห็นภายในเวลาประมาณ 10 นาที
งาน Academic Discussion ให้คะแนนอย่างไร
งานนี้ให้คะแนนตามระดับ 0-5 โดยพิจารณาจากความเกี่ยวข้องกับการสนทนา คุณภาพการใช้ภาษา (ไวยากรณ์ คำศัพท์ โครงสร้างประโยค) และความสามารถในการพัฒนาและสนับสนุนความคิดด้วยตัวอย่างและเหตุผลที่ชัดเจน
ตัวอย่างคำตอบของผู้ใช้ในหน้านี้คืออะไร
นี่คือคำตอบจริงที่ส่งโดยผู้เข้าสอบ TOEFL ที่ฝึกทำคำถามนี้บน LingoLeap แต่ละตัวอย่างได้รับการประเมินโดยเครื่องมือให้คะแนนด้วย AI ของเรา ซึ่งให้คะแนนพร้อมคำแนะนำโดยละเอียดเกี่ยวกับจุดแข็งและจุดที่ควรปรับปรุง
การประเมินด้วย AI แม่นยำแค่ไหน
เครื่องมือประเมินด้วย AI ของ LingoLeap ได้รับการฝึกฝนโดยใช้เกณฑ์การให้คะแนนอย่างเป็นทางการของ ETS และปรับเทียบกับคะแนนของผู้ตรวจที่เป็นมนุษย์ แม้ว่าระบบอัตโนมัติจะไม่มีความสมบูรณ์แบบ แต่ก็ให้คำแนะนำที่เชื่อถือได้สำหรับการฝึกฝนและช่วยระบุจุดที่ควรปรับปรุงได้อย่างชัดเจน
ฉันจะฝึกทำงาน Academic Discussion นี้ได้อย่างไร
คุณสามารถฝึกฝนได้โดยสมัครบัญชี LingoLeap ฟรี เขียนคำตอบของคุณเองสำหรับคำถามนี้ ส่งคำตอบ แล้วรับการประเมินจาก AI ทันทีพร้อมคำแนะนำโดยละเอียดเกี่ยวกับงานเขียนของคุณ
คำตอบ Academic Discussion ของฉันควรมีความยาวเท่าใด
ควรมีความยาวประมาณ 120-150 คำ งานนี้ให้เวลาคุณ 10 นาทีในการเขียนคำตอบ ควรเน้นความชัดเจน สนับสนุนความคิดเห็นด้วยตัวอย่างที่เจาะจง และอ้างอิงบริบทของการสนทนา แทนที่จะเขียนคำตอบที่ยาวขึ้น

เป้าหมายคะแนน TOEFL ของคุณ อยู่ในมือแล้ว!

กับ LingoLeap ผู้เชี่ยวชาญด้านการสอบภาษาอังกฤษ

ไปถึงคะแนนที่ใฝ่ฝันได้เร็วกว่าที่คิด

ทดลองใช้ฟรีเลย