TOEFL TPO None Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on public policy. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

1.子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2.预估分数

• 27

3.任务完成度 这篇文章在回应问题和讨论方面做得很好，但是在阐述观点和提供具体例子方面还有待加强。建议在解释你的观点时提供更多细节和例子，以使你的论据更有说服力。

示例1：为了支持租赁住房的观点，可以提供关于台北政府如何通过租赁政策成功解决住房问题的具体数据或案例。 示例2：可以详细说明为什么单纯建造房屋而不降低价格不能解决问题，并给出实际情况中的例子。

4.文章结构与组织 文章结构基本清晰，但在段落划分和过渡方面还有改进空间。建议明确每个段落的主题，并使用恰当的过渡词汇使文章更连贯。

示例1：在第二段开始时，可以使用“首先”或“一方面”来引入你支持Claire观点的原因。 示例2：在谈到Paul观点时，可以使用“然而”或“另一方面”来引入对其观点的讨论，使文章更具逻辑性。

5. 语法批改

In my opinion, Claire's argument about contructingconstructing(misspelling) large buildings is rather persuasive. Furthermore, I believe that renting houses will also be a beneficial way to deal with the problem, For example, in Taipei, the houses' price are surging recently because of rapid development. Some people, especially young generation, struggle to afford the price of houses. Therefore, two years ago, Taipei government started to address the problem by contructingconstructing(misspelling) the building for renting. Since the rental price is far more affordable for young people, they were willing to rent the houses there. On the other hand, in terms of Paul's opinion. ifIf(Checks that a sentence starts with an uppercase letter) the governmantgovernment(misspelling) just build the house without considering lowering the price, the problem will still be unsolved. Overall, by utlizingutilizing(misspelling) the rental method, the housing problem will be settled easily.

6.文章修订

In my opinion, Claire's argument regarding the construction of large buildings with affordable apartments is quite persuasive. Moreover, I believe that implementing rental housing programs can also effectively address the housing shortage issue. For instance, in Taipei, housing prices have surged recently due to rapid development, making it difficult for the younger generation to afford them. Consequently, two years ago, the Taipei government initiated a project to construct rental buildings. Since the rental prices are significantly more affordable for young people, they are more inclined to rent these properties.

On the other hand, Paul's suggestion of building houses without considering price reduction may not resolve the problem entirely. Instead, by utilizing rental programs and offering subsidies or tax relief to construction companies for building affordable housing options in urban areas, governments can successfully tackle this pressing issue.

Overall, a combination of constructing large apartment buildings and promoting rental housing programs can provide a comprehensive solution to the housing shortage problem in many countries. (164 words)

7.文章批改

In my opinion, Claire's argument about contructing regarding the construction of large buildings with affordable apartments is rather persuasive. Furthermore, quite persuasive (changed "rather persuasive" to "quite persuasive" for a more formal tone). Moreover, I believe that renting implementing rental housing programs can also effectively address the housing shortage issue (rephrased "renting houses will also be a beneficial way to deal with the problem, problem" for clarity and conciseness). For example, instance, in Taipei, the houses' price are surging housing prices have surged recently because of due to rapid development. Some people, especially young generation, struggle development, making it difficult for the younger generation to afford the price of houses. Therefore, them (revised sentence structure for better flow). Consequently, two years ago, the Taipei government started initiated a project to construct rental buildings (rephrased "started to address the problem by contructing the building for renting. renting" for clarity and accuracy). Since the rental price is far prices are significantly more affordable for young people, they were willing are more inclined to rent the houses there. these properties (revised sentence structure and vocabulary for better flow and formality).

On the other hand, in terms Paul's suggestion of Paul's opinion. if building houses without considering price reduction may not resolve the problem entirely (rephrased "if the governmant just build the house without considering lowering the price, the problem will still be unsolved. unsolved" for clarity and conciseness). Instead, by utilizing rental programs and offering subsidies or tax relief to construction companies for building affordable housing options in urban areas (added details about subsidies or tax relief), governments can successfully tackle this pressing issue.

Overall, by a combination of constructing large apartment buildings and promoting rental housing programs can provide a comprehensive solution to the housing shortage problem in many countries (rephrased "by utlizing the rental method, the housing problem will be settled easily.easily" for a stronger conclusion).

8.思维导图

• Introduction

  • Claire's argument
  • Rental housing programs

• Taipei example

  • Housing prices surge
  • Government initiative
  • Rental buildings
  • Affordability for young people

• Paul's suggestion critique

  • Building houses without price reduction
  • Ineffectiveness in solving the problem

• Proposed solution

  • Utilizing rental programs
  • Subsidies or tax relief for construction companies

9.关键词