TOEFL TPO 12 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they respond to the specific argument made in the reading passage.

1.Sub Scores Task fulfillment: 3 Organization: 3 Coherence and Cohesion: 3 Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

20. 3.Task completeness

The essay does address the main points from the lecture, but it could be improved by providing more specific details and examples from both the reading and listening passages. Additionally, some of the information presented is not entirely accurate or clearly explained. To improve task fulfillment, ensure that you accurately summarize each point made in the lecture and clearly explain how it responds to the arguments in the reading passage.

Example 1: Original: "While the image may be real Jane but it was weird that the family made such assert for certain." Improved: "The family members who authorized the portrait's use in 1882 had never actually seen Jane Austen themselves, so they could not have known for certain if it was a portrait of her."

Example 2: Original: "This fact can be a proof that the portrait is not Jane considering Jane was already 27 years old when this portrait was made." Improved: "The stamp on the back of the canvas indicates that it was sold by William Legg when Austen was already 27 years old, suggesting that she would have been older than the teenage girl depicted in the portrait."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of organization and clarity. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one specific point from the lecture and provides supporting details. Also, use clear transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance coherence.

Example 1: Original: "Firstly, it is essential to recognize that Austen's family permitted..." Improved: "Firstly, although Austen's family permitted..."

Example 2: Original: "Moreover, the portrait is an image of a teenager can be concluded obviously by features on face." Improved: "Moreover, the lecturer argues that the portrait may not depict Jane Austen as a teenager because..."

5. Grammar

The reading passage claims that the so-called amateur sketch of an adult Austen made by her sister Cassandra is indeed the image of Jane Austin by showing some historical story. HoweverHowever,(Commas after conjunctive/linking adverbs in front of a new sentence.) the lecturer challenges the thisthe(Two consecutive articles, e.g. 'the a') argument by presenting counterarguments that is explanatory, and convincing. Firstly, it is essential to recognize that Austen's family permitted the public to use the portrait as an illustration of Jane in 1882, 70 years after Jane's death. While the image may be real Jane but, but(comma between independent clauses) it was weird that the family made such assert for certain. Therefore, the portrait may not be real Jane Austin ..(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) Moreover, the portrait is an image of a teenager can be concluded obviously by features on face. This fact can be a proof that the portrait is not Jane considering Jane was already 27 years old when this portrait was made. It is incorrect to assume that the image is Jane nor possibly other teenagers or young relatives in Austin family. Lastly, the correlation of style of OziasBias(misspelling) Humphrey and argument that the image is Jane is too weak to explain the truth. Also, the canvas was sold and clarified that the style was later date, which is not the period Jane was teenager but older.

Section Title: 6. Revised Essay

The reading passage asserts that the amateur sketch of an adult Austen, created by her sister Cassandra, is indeed an image of Jane Austen, supported by historical context. However, the lecturer challenges this argument by presenting counterarguments that are explanatory and convincing.

Firstly, it is essential to recognize that Austen's family permitted the public to use the portrait as an illustration of Jane in 1882, 70 years after Jane's death. While the image may be of Jane, it is peculiar that the family made such a claim with certainty. Therefore, the portrait may not genuinely depict Jane Austen.

Moreover, the portrait shows a teenager which can be concluded from facial features. This fact can serve as evidence that the portrait is not of Jane considering she was already 27 years old when this portrait was made. It is incorrect to assume that the image is of Jane and could possibly be another teenager or young relative in the Austen family.

Lastly, the correlation between Ozias Humphrey's style and the argument that the image is of Jane is too weak to establish truth. Additionally, it has been clarified that the canvas was sold at a later date than initially thought, which does not correspond with when Jane was a teenager but rather when she was older. (220 words)

The reading passage claims that the so-called asserts that the amateur sketch of an adult Austen made Austen, created by her sister Cassandra Cassandra, is indeed the image of Jane Austin an image of Jane Austen (changed "Austin" to "Austen" for consistency), supported by showing some historical story. However context. However, the lecturer challenges the this argument by presenting counterarguments that is explanatory, and convincing. are explanatory and convincing (changed "the this" to "this" and "that is" to "that are" for clarity).

Firstly, it is essential to recognize that Austen's family permitted the public to use the portrait as an illustration of Jane in 1882, 70 years after Jane's death. While the image may be real Jane but of Jane (changed "real Jane" to "of Jane" for clarity), it was weird is peculiar (changed "weird" to "peculiar" for a more formal tone) that the family made such assert for certain. a claim with certainty. Therefore, the portrait may not be real Jane Austin genuinely depict Jane Austen (changed "real Jane Austin" to "genuinely depict Jane Austen").

Moreover, the portrait is an image of shows a teenager which can be concluded obviously by features on face. from facial features. This fact can be a proof serve as evidence that the portrait is not of Jane considering Jane she was already 27 years old when this portrait was made. It is incorrect to assume that the image is Jane nor of Jane and could possibly other teenagers be another teenager or young relatives relative in Austin family. the Austen family (rephrased sentence for clarity).

Lastly, the correlation of between Ozias Humphrey's style of Ozias Humphrey and and the argument that the image is of Jane is too weak to explain the truth. Also, establish truth (changed "explain" to "establish"). Additionally, it has been clarified that the canvas was sold and clarified that the style was at a later date, date than initially thought, which is does not the period Jane was correspond with when Jane was a teenager but older.rather when she was older (rephrased sentence for clarity).

8. Mind Map

• Introduction

  • Reading passage claims
  • Lecturer's counterarguments

• Argument 1: Family permission

  • Public use of portrait in 1882
  • Jane's death in 1817
  • Uncertainty of the claim

• Argument 2: Facial features

  • Portrait shows a teenager
  • Jane was already an adult (27 years old)
  • Possible misidentification of subject

• Argument 3: Ozias Humphrey's style and timeline

  • Weak correlation with Jane Austen
  • Canvas sold at a later date than initially thought

9. Key Words

1.子项得分 任务完成度：4 组织：4 连贯性和衔接：4 语言使用：3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，文章回答了题目要求的问题，但在一些细节方面还有待提高。首先，在引述听力中的观点时，可以更准确地表达讲座中提到的内容。例如，在第二点中，讲座并没有提到“有很多与奥斯汀相似的年轻女性”，而是说奥斯汀家族很大，可能有其他女性亲戚与奥斯汀相似。此外，在最后一段中，“Ozias”应该是“Ozias Humphrey”，以保持一致性。

改进示例：

1. "The lecturer counters that by highlighting the fact that there were numerous relatives or their daughters who were at a young age looked similar to Austen." → "The lecturer counters that by highlighting the fact that the extended Austen family was very large, and some of Jane Austen's female cousins or their daughters might have resembled her."

2. "the painting only has styles assembled as Ozias." → "the painting has been attributed to Ozias Humphrey only because of the style."

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织基本上是清晰的，但在某些地方可以进一步改进。首先，在引言部分可以更明确地指出文章将讨论阅读和听力之间的关系。其次，在每个主体段落中，可以更清楚地表达出阅读和听力之间的对比。最后，在结论部分可以更明确地总结文章的主要观点。

改进示例：

1. "The lecturer disagrees that the portrait is a real image of teenage Jane Austen by casting doubt on three evidence mentioned in the reading passage." → "The lecturer challenges the reading passage's claim that the portrait is a real image of teenage Jane Austen by casting doubt on three pieces of evidence mentioned in the reading."

2. "In a word, the lecturer casts doubt on three evidence suggested in the reading by questioning the time and material of the portrait." → "In conclusion, the lecturer effectively casts doubt on the reading passage's claim that the portrait is of teenage Jane Austen by questioning its authenticity, resemblance to known images of Austen, and dating of its creation."

5. 语法批改

The lecturer disagrees that the portrait is a real image of teenage Jane Austen by casting doubt on three evidence mentioned in the reading passage. Firstly, though the reading passage suggested that her family members prove its reality, the lecturer questions whether it is true because it appears to the public when Austen has been dead for seventeen years and many of her family members don't exactly remember what she looked like at a young age. Moving to the second point, evidence provided in the passage that there are obvious similarities between Cassandra's sketch, which has been proved as a true image of Austen, and the portrait is also questionable. The lecturer counters that by highlighting the fact that there were numerous relatives or their daughters who were at a young age looked similar to Austen. So it couldn't be identified as juvenile Austen solely. Indeed, there is gossip that the portrait was drawn for Maria, a distant relative of Austen. Lastly, the lecturer points out that the painting only has styles assembled as OziasBias(misspelling). The other parts of it aren't related to OziasBias(misspelling). What's more, the painting used a kind of canvas sold by William. And William began selling this canvas in PariPart(misspelling) after Austen's teenage time. ThereforeTherefore,(Commas after conjunctive/linking adverbs in front of a new sentence.) this picture would not be drawn for teenage Austen. In a word, the lecturer casts doubt on three evidence suggested in the reading by questioning the time and material of the portrait.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The lecturer disputes the authenticity of the portrait as a depiction of a teenage Jane Austen, challenging three pieces of evidence presented in the reading passage.

Firstly, although the reading passage suggests that Austen's family members endorsed the portrait's authenticity, the lecturer questions this claim, noting that it surfaced when Austen had been deceased for nearly seventy years and many of her relatives would not have accurately remembered her appearance at a young age.

Secondly, the reading passage asserts that there are striking similarities between Cassandra's sketch, which is confirmed to be an accurate representation of Austen, and the portrait in question. However, the lecturer counters this argument by emphasizing that numerous relatives or their daughters bore a resemblance to Austen during their youth. Consequently, it cannot be definitively identified as a young Austen based on this similarity alone. In fact, there is speculation that the portrait was actually created for Marianne Kempian, a distant niece of Austen.

Lastly, while the reading passage attributes the painting to Ozias Humphrey based on stylistic similarities, the lecturer highlights inconsistencies in other aspects of its creation. Specifically, she points out that William Legg sold the canvas used for the painting and his records indicate that he did not sell canvases in London during Jane Austen's teenage years. This discrepancy suggests that the portrait could not have been created during her youth.

In summary, by questioning both timing and materials associated with the portrait, as well as its endorsement by family members who may not have had firsthand knowledge of Jane Austen's appearance at a young age, the lecturer casts doubt on all three pieces of evidence presented in the reading passage. (281 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 7.文章批改

The lecturer disagrees that disputes the authenticity of the portrait is a real image of as a depiction of a teenage Jane Austen by casting doubt on Austen, challenging three pieces of evidence mentioned in the reading passage. presented in the reading passage (changed "disagrees" to "disputes" for clearer meaning).

Firstly, though although the reading passage suggested that her suggests that Austen's family members prove its reality, endorsed the portrait's authenticity, the lecturer questions whether this claim, noting that it is true because it appears to the public surfaced when Austen has had been dead deceased for nearly seventeen years (corrected "seventy" to "seventeen") and many of her family members don't exactly remember what she looked like relatives would not have accurately remembered her appearance at a young age.

Moving to the second point, evidence provided in the Secondly, the reading passage asserts that there are obvious striking similarities between Cassandra's sketch, which has been proved as a true image is confirmed to be an accurate representation of Austen, and the portrait is also questionable. The in question. However, the lecturer counters that this argument by highlighting the fact that there were emphasizing that numerous relatives or their daughters who were at a young age looked similar to Austen. So bore a resemblance to Austen during their youth. Consequently, it couldn't cannot be definitively identified as juvenile a young Austen solely. Indeed, based on this similarity alone. In fact, there is gossip speculation that the portrait was drawn actually created for Maria, Maria (changed "Marianne Kempian" to "Maria"), a distant relative of Austen.

Lastly, the lecturer while the reading passage attributes the painting to Ozias Humphrey based on stylistic similarities, the lecturer highlights inconsistencies in other aspects of its creation. Specifically, she points out that William Legg sold the canvas used for the painting only has styles assembled as Ozias. The other parts of it aren't related to Ozias. What's more, the painting used a kind of canvas sold by William. And William began selling this canvas in Pari after and his records indicate that he did not sell canvases in Paris (corrected "Pari" to "Paris") during Jane Austen's teenage time. Therefore this picture would years. This discrepancy suggests that the portrait could not be drawn for teenage Austen. have been created during her youth.

In a word, summary, by questioning both timing and materials associated with the portrait, as well as its endorsement by family members who may not have had firsthand knowledge of Jane Austen's appearance at a young age, the lecturer casts doubt on all three pieces of evidence suggested in the reading by questioning the time and material of the portrait.presented in the reading passage.

8. Mind Map

1. Essay Structure
   - Introduction
   - Body
     - Point 1: Family endorsement
     - Point 2: Similarities to Cassandra's sketch
     - Point 3: Attribution to Ozias Humphrey
   - Conclusion

2. Lecture Points
   - Questioning family endorsement
   - Resemblance to other relatives or their daughters
   - Speculation about Marianne Kempian
   - Inconsistencies in canvas records and timing

9. Keywords

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

这篇文章基本上完成了任务要求，阐述了听力材料中的观点并对阅读材料的论点进行了反驳。但是，有些地方可以改进。首先，在引用听力材料时，可以更具体地描述讲座中提到的证据和观点。其次，在反驳阅读材料时，应更明确地指出其论点的不足之处。

例1：原文：“But the lecturer doesn't agree by saying that when the portrait had been used, Jane died almost 70 years.” 改进：“The lecturer refutes this by stating that when the portrait was authorized for use, Jane Austen had already been dead for nearly 70 years, and the family members who made the decision had never actually seen her themselves.”

例2：原文：“The lecturer argues against this point, for Austen was a large family and the girl on that paint could be some of Jane's relatives.” 改进：“The lecturer counters this point by mentioning that the extended Austen family was quite large, and the girl in the painting could be one of Jane's many relatives who were teenagers during that time period.”

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面有待改进。虽然文章包含了引言、主体和结论，但各段落之间的逻辑关系不够明确。建议在每个段落的开头使用明确的过渡词或短语，以帮助读者更好地理解文章的结构。此外，文章中的一些句子表达不够清晰，可以进行修改以提高整体质量。

例1：原文：“Firstly, the writer said that Austen's family gave permission to use portrait for letter conversation.” 改进：“To begin with, the reading passage claims that Austen's family authorized the use of the portrait as an illustration in her letters.”

例2：原文：“Seconly, the writer mentions that the face on the paint is resemble the one in Cassandra's sketch which is believed as the only record about Jane's appearance.” 改进：“Secondly, the reading passage points out that the face in the painting resembles that of Cassandra's sketch, which is considered to be the only existing record of Jane Austen's appearance.”

5. 语法批改

Task1 The reading script points out that the subject of a recent paint which was on sale is Jane Austen and gives three reasons to prove that. However, the lecturer thinks those evidence are not convincing.

Firstly, the writer said that Austen's family gave permission to use portraitthe portrait(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) for letter conversation. But the lecturer doesn't agree by saying that when the portrait had been uesdused(misspelling), Jane died almost 70 years. Also, the family never acted to show the subject onas(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) it was Jane. So this evidence can hardly prove the subject is Jane.

SeconlySecondly(misspelling), the writer mentions that the face on the paint is resembleresembled(Agreement: 'been' or 'was' + past tense) the one in Cassandra's sketchsketch,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) which is believed as the only record about Jane's appearance. The lecturer argues against this point, for Austen was a large family and the girl on that paint could be some of Jane's relatives. There were many teenage girls in Austen's family, for example, Mary. So the subject onof(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) that painting may not be Jane.

Finally, the writers givesgive(punctuation + plural noun + singular verb) the drawing styles as an evidence to show the painting was painted when Jane was a teenager. However, the lecturer mentions there is another convincing evidence to show the paitingpainting(misspelling) was painted in the late date. The evidence is the stamp behind the painting. The stamp was recorded to be sellsold(can be access (accessed)) by William, a collectercollected(misspelling). But when he started selling the stamp, Jane was already 27 years old, which was much older than the age shows on that painting.

Section title: 6.文章修订

The reading passage posits that a recently discovered painting is likely a portrait of Jane Austen, providing three reasons to support this claim. However, the lecturer disputes these arguments, asserting that the evidence is not convincing.

Firstly, the author of the reading passage states that Austen's family granted permission to use the portrait in an edition of her letters. The lecturer counters this point by noting that when the portrait was used, Jane Austen had been deceased for nearly 70 years. Furthermore, there is no indication that the family explicitly confirmed the subject of the portrait as Jane Austen. Consequently, this evidence cannot definitively prove that she is depicted in the painting.

Secondly, the reading passage claims that similarities between Cassandra's sketch and the face in the painting suggest they both depict Jane Austen. The lecturer challenges this assertion by arguing that since Austen was part of a large family with numerous teenage girls at that time, such as Mary, it is possible that one of her relatives is portrayed instead.

Lastly, while the author cites stylistic similarities as evidence for dating the painting to when Jane Austen was a teenager, the lecturer presents another piece of evidence pointing to a later date. A stamp on the back of the painting indicates it was sold by William Legg when Jane Austen was already 27 years old - significantly older than her supposed age in the portrait. This discrepancy casts doubt on whether she is indeed its subject. (250 words)

Task1 ¶ The reading script points out that the subject of a recent paint which was on sale is Jane Austen and gives passage posits that a recently discovered painting is likely a portrait of Jane Austen, providing three reasons to prove that. support this claim (Changed "points out" to "posits" for better clarity and word choice). However, the lecturer thinks disputes these arguments, asserting that the evidence is not convincing (Changed "thinks those evidence are not convincing. convincing" to "disputes these arguments, asserting that the evidence is not convincing" for better clarity and grammar).

Firstly, the writer said author of the reading passage states that Austen's family gave granted permission to use portrait for letter conversation. But the the portrait in an edition of her letters (Corrected grammar and phrasing). The lecturer doesn't agree counters this point by saying noting that when the portrait was used, Jane Austen had been uesd, Jane died almost deceased for nearly 70 years. Also, years (Corrected grammar and phrasing). Furthermore, there is no indication that the family never acted to show explicitly confirmed the subject on it was Jane. So of the portrait as Jane Austen (Clarified sentence structure). Consequently, this evidence can hardly cannot definitively prove the subject is Jane. that she is depicted in the painting (Clarified sentence structure).

Seconly, the writer mentions that the face on the paint is resemble the one in Secondly, the reading passage claims that similarities between Cassandra's sketch which is believed as the only record about Jane's appearance. and the face in the painting suggest they both depict Jane Austen (Corrected grammar and phrasing). The lecturer argues against challenges this point, for Austen was assertion by arguing that since Austen was part of a large family and the girl on that paint could be some of Jane's relatives. There were many with numerous teenage girls in Austen's family, at that time, such as Mary, it is possible that one of her relatives is portrayed instead (Clarified sentence structure).

Lastly, while the author cites stylistic similarities as evidence for example, Mary. So the subject dating the painting to when Jane Austen was a teenager (Corrected grammar), the lecturer presents another piece of evidence pointing to a later date. A stamp on that painting may not be Jane. ¶ Finally, the writers gives the drawing styles as an evidence to show the painting was painted the back of the painting indicates it was sold by William Legg when Jane was a teenager. However, the lecturer mentions there is another convincing evidence to show the paiting was painted in the late date. The evidence is the stamp behind the painting. The stamp was recorded to be sell by William, a collecter. But when he started selling the stamp, Jane Austen was already 27 years old, which was much old - significantly older than the her supposed age shows in the portrait (Clarified sentence structure and corrected name spelling). This discrepancy casts doubt on that painting.whether she is indeed its subject (Clarified sentence structure).

8. Mind Map

Mind Map:

- Introduction
  - Reading passage claim: painting is a portrait of Jane Austen
  - Lecturer's counterclaim: evidence is not convincing

- Point 1: Family permission
  - Reading passage: Austen's family granted permission for portrait use
  - Lecturer's counterpoint: no explicit confirmation, Jane deceased for 70 years

- Point 2: Similarities to Cassandra's sketch
  - Reading passage: similarities suggest both depict Jane Austen
  - Lecturer's counterpoint: could be another relative, such as Mary

- Point 3: Stylistic similarities and dating
  - Reading passage: style suggests painting from when Jane was a teenager
  - Lecturer's counterpoint: stamp indicates sale when Jane was already 27 years old

9. Keywords