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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on education. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

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사용자 제출 예시 19개 이용 가능

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과제 개요

Professor

This week, we'll examine issues in education reform. For example, some educators think that by focusing mainly on foundational knowledge in subjects like reading, math, and science, schools are not fully preparing students for success in the workplace. These educators argue that soft skills-non-academic skills such as being empathetic or having a strong work ethic - should be part of the curriculum, with classroom time dedicated to developing these skills. Do you agree? Why

Student A

Soft skills are important, but I don't agree with using classroom time to work on them. I'm not sure how teachers would measure students' progress in developing these skills. If students' progress can't be measured on something being taught, l'm not sure if there's any point to teaching it.

Student B

I agree. While students need a strong foundation in academic subjects, soft skills are important because they affect how well students do their work. If classroom time is set aside for these skills, students will take them seriously and their academic work will benefit. Teachers could design lessons so that students learn about a skill and then do role-playing activities with classmates.

사용자 예시 및 평가 결과

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1

사용자 예시 #1

I wholeheartedly agree with student B’s assertation that soft skills are pivotal and should be developed through the classroom time. First, it is the ...

점수
28

사용자 예시

I wholeheartedly agree with student B’s assertation that soft skills are pivotal and should be developed through the classroom time. First, it is the soft skills that plays an indispensable role in shaping well-rounded individuals. Despite teaching it in class might partly consume the class time of fundamental learning, it can lay a groundwork of the regular curriculum by offering students a better work ethics and mindset. For instance, it used to take me hours to complete an essay, because I get used to learning and playing at the same time. When my teachers gathered us around and require us to do the work within a limited time, I l found out that, with full-hearted concentration, I can get twice the results with half the effort. Secondly, soft-skill education in class fits the gap of family educating, as students are put in a diversified group setting. Therefore, with teachers’ repeatedly advise in class, students can be more likely to show some esteem to diversifications. It can drastically reduce the possibility of bulling or even juvenile delinquency, and ultimately create a positive learning environment to both students’ physical and psychological growth.

평가 결과

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4

2. 预估分数

  • 28

3. 任务完成度

您的文章很好地回答了教授的问题,并提供了有力的论据支持您的观点。然而,您可以在以下方面进行改进:

  1. 更详细地解释软技能如何在课堂上教授,以及如何衡量学生在这方面的进步。

  2. 使用更多具体的例子来支持您的观点。

示例:

  1. "Teachers can incorporate soft skills training into their lessons by using group projects, where students need to collaborate, communicate effectively, and manage their time efficiently."

  2. "To measure students' progress in developing soft skills, teachers can use peer evaluations, self-assessments, or even invite professionals from the industry to evaluate students' performance in role-playing activities."

4. 文章结构与组织

您的文章结构清晰,包括引言、正文和结论。然而,在以下方面还有改进空间:

  1. 在段落之间使用更明确的过渡词或短语,使文章更连贯。

  2. 在正文中使用主题句来指导读者理解每个段落的主要观点。

示例:

  1. "Moreover, incorporating soft skills education in the classroom can also help bridge the gap in family education."

  2. "In addition to fostering a positive learning environment, teaching soft skills in the classroom can also improve students' academic performance."

5. 语法批改

I wholeheartedly agree with student B’s assertationassertion(misspelling) that soft skills are pivotal and should be developed through the classroom time. First, it is the soft skills that playsplay(Do not believe any ratings that is (are) less than 5 stars) an indispensable role in shaping well-rounded individuals. Despite teaching it in class might partly consume the class time of fundamental learning, it can lay a groundwork of the regular curriculum by offering students a better work ethics and mindset. For instance, it used to take me hours to complete an essay, because I get used to learning and playing at the same time. When my teachers gathered us around and require us to do the work within a limited time, I l found out that, with full-hearted concentration, I can get twice the results with half the effort. Secondly, soft-skill education in class fits the gap of family educating, as students are put in a diversified group setting. Therefore, with teachers’ repeatedly advise in class, students can be more likely to show some esteem to diversificationsdiversification(misspelling). It can drastically reduce the possibility of bulling or even juvenile delinquency, and ultimately create a positive learning environment tofor(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) both students’ physical and psychological growth.

Section Title: The Importance of Soft Skills in Education

I wholeheartedly concur with Student B's assertion that soft skills are crucial and should be cultivated during classroom time. Firstly, soft skills play an indispensable role in molding well-rounded individuals. Although incorporating them into lessons may consume some time dedicated to fundamental learning, it can enhance the regular curriculum by instilling a strong work ethic and mindset in students. For example, I used to take hours to complete an essay because I would study and play simultaneously. However, when my teachers required us to finish tasks within a limited timeframe, I discovered that focused concentration led to greater efficiency and improved results.

Secondly, integrating soft-skill education into the classroom complements family education, as students are exposed to a diverse group setting. Consequently, with teachers' consistent guidance in class, students are more likely to develop respect for diversity. This approach can significantly reduce the likelihood of bullying or even juvenile delinquency while fostering a positive learning environment that promotes both physical and psychological growth for students. (174 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: The Importance of Soft Skills in Education

I wholeheartedly agree with student B’s assertation concur (changed "agree" to "concur" for a more formal tone) with Student B's assertion that soft skills are pivotal crucial (replaced "pivotal" with "crucial" for clarity) and should be developed through the cultivated (changed "developed" to "cultivated" for better word choice) during classroom time. First, it is the Firstly, soft skills that plays play an indispensable role in shaping molding (changed "shaping" to "molding" for a more accurate description) well-rounded individuals. Despite teaching it in class might partly Although incorporating them into lessons may consume the class some time of dedicated to fundamental learning, it can lay a groundwork of enhance the regular curriculum by offering students a better instilling a strong work ethics and mindset. ethic and mindset in students. For instance, it example, I used to take me hours to complete an essay, essay because I get used to learning and playing at the same time. When would study and play simultaneously. However, when my teachers gathered required us around and require us to do the work to finish tasks within a limited time, I l found out that, with full-hearted concentration, I can get twice the results with half the effort. timeframe, I discovered that focused concentration led to greater efficiency and improved results.

Secondly, integrating soft-skill education in class fits into the classroom complements (changed "fits the gap of of" to "complements" for better phrasing) family educating, education, as students are put in a diversified exposed to a diverse group setting. Therefore, with teachers’ repeatedly advise Consequently, with teachers' consistent guidance (replaced "repeatedly advise" with "consistent guidance") in class, students can be are more likely to show develop respect for diversity (changed "show some esteem to diversifications. It diversifications" for clearer meaning). This approach can drastically significantly reduce the possibility likelihood of bulling bullying or even juvenile delinquency, and ultimately create delinquency while fostering a positive learning environment to that promotes both students’ physical and psychological growth.growth for students.

8 思维导图


1. Soft Skills Importance
   - Well-rounded individuals
   - Enhance regular curriculum
   - Strong work ethic and mindset

2. Classroom Integration
   - Complements family education
   - Exposure to diverse group setting

3. Teacher Guidance
   - Develop respect for diversity
   - Reduce bullying and juvenile delinquency

4. Positive Learning Environment
   - Promotes physical and psychological growth

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
wholeheartedly/ˌhoʊlˈhɑrtɪdli/adverbwith complete sincerity and commitment全心全意地I wholeheartedly concur with Student B's assertion.
indispensable/ˌɪndɪˈspɛnsəbl/adjectiveabsolutely necessary or essential不可或缺的Soft skills play an indispensable role in molding well-rounded individuals.
integrate/ˈɪntɪˌgreɪt/verbcombine one thing with another整合,融入Integrating soft-skill education into the classroom complements family education.
diverse/daɪˈvərs, də-/adjectiveshowing a great deal of variety多样的Students are exposed to a diverse group setting in the classroom.
guidance/ˈgaɪdəns/nounadvice or information aimed at resolving a problem or difficulty指导,引导With teachers' consistent guidance in class, students are more likely to develop respect for diversity.
delinquency/dɪˈlɪŋkwənsi/nounminor crime, especially that committed by young people违法行为,失职This approach can reduce the likelihood of juvenile delinquency.
foster/ˈfɔstər, ˈfɒs-/verbencourage or promote the development of something培养,促进Fostering a positive learning environment promotes both physical and psychological growth for students.
curriculum/kəˈrɪkjʊləm/nounthe subjects comprising a course of study in a school or college课程It can enhance the regular curriculum by instilling a strong work ethic and mindset in students.
concentration/ˌkɒnsənˈtreɪʃ(ə)n/nounexclusive attention to one object集中精力Focused concentration led to greater efficiency and improved results.
efficiency/ɪˈfɪʃ(ə)nsi/nounthe state or quality of being efficient效率I discovered that focused concentration led to greater efficiency.
2

사용자 예시 #2

I agree with the student B's perspective about the students cannot stay up too late and establish consistent sleep schedules, but I'm inclined to supp...

점수
28

사용자 예시

I agree with the student B's perspective about the students cannot stay up too late and establish consistent sleep schedules, but I'm inclined to support the shift because the change will give students substantial time to maintain enough sleep hours, which will be essential for students' health. Starting school at 7:30 am means students must get up around 6 am considering breakfast and commute time. It also means the students must fall asleep before 10 pm last night in order to maintain 8- hour rest time. With the trends of heavier after-class homework, students tend to finish all the arrangements later. Meanwhile, it also squeezes the gathering and communication time with family members. Night time may be the only chance that all family members can get together and share their daily life. If students must go to bed that early, they may lose the chance to deeply talk with their parents.

평가 결과

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

  • 28

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现良好,但仍有改进的空间。首先,可以增加更多具体的例子来支持观点。其次,在表达观点时,可以尝试使用更多的论证方法,如对比、举例等。最后,在语言运用方面,可以适当提高词汇和句型的多样性。

Example 1: Instead of "With the trends of heavier after-class homework, students tend to finish all the arrangements later.", you could write "As students are often burdened with a significant amount of homework, they may find it challenging to complete their assignments before a reasonable bedtime."

Example 2: Instead of "Night time may be the only chance that all family members can get together and share their daily life.", you could write "Evenings are often the only opportunity for family members to gather and discuss their experiences from the day."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构方面整体不错,但可以在段落划分和过渡句方面进行优化。首先,在引入论点时,可以使用明确的主题句来引导读者。其次,在段落之间添加过渡句以使文章更连贯。

Example 1: You could start your second paragraph with a clear topic sentence like this: "While establishing consistent sleep schedules is important, changing school start times to 8:30 a.m. would provide additional benefits for students."

Example 2: To improve the transition between paragraphs, you could add a sentence like this: "Although family routines play a role in students' sleep patterns, adjusting school start times would offer a more comprehensive solution."

5. 语法批改

I agree with the student B's perspective about the students cannot stay up too late and establish consistent sleep schedules, but I'm inclined to support the shift because the change will give students substantial time to maintain enough sleep hours, which will be essential for students' health. Starting school at 7:30 am means students must get up around 6 amam,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) considering breakfast and commute time. It also means the students must fall asleep before 10 pm last night in order to maintain 8- hour rest time. With the trends of heavier after-class homework, students tend to finish all the arrangements later. Meanwhile, it also squeezes the gathering and communication time with family members. Night timeNighttime(Hyphenated words: Night time) may be the only chance that all family members can get (Two consecutive spaces)together and share their daily life. If students must go to bed that early, they may lose the chance to deeply talk with their parents.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

While I concur with Student B's assertion that students should avoid staying up too late and establish consistent sleep schedules, I am more inclined to support the idea of shifting school start times to 8:30 a.m. This change would provide students with ample opportunity to obtain sufficient sleep, which is crucial for their overall health and well-being. A 7:30 a.m. start time necessitates waking up around 6 a.m., factoring in breakfast and commute, and consequently requires students to fall asleep before 10 p.m. the previous night in order to achieve the recommended eight hours of rest.

However, given the increasing workload from after-school assignments, students often find themselves completing tasks late into the night. This not only encroaches upon their sleep but also diminishes valuable family time. Evenings may be the only opportunity for family members to gather and share their daily experiences. By requiring students to retire early, we risk depriving them of meaningful interactions with their parents, which are essential for fostering strong familial bonds and emotional well-being. (175 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 7 Article Revision

While I agree concur with the student Student B's perspective about the students cannot stay assertion (revised for clarity and formality) that students should avoid staying up too late and establish consistent sleep schedules, but I'm I am more inclined to support the shift because the idea of shifting school start times to 8:30 a.m. (rephrased for smoother flow). This change will give students substantial would provide students with ample opportunity (revised for conciseness) to obtain sufficient sleep, which is crucial for their overall health and well-being (added context). A 7:30 a.m. start time to maintain enough sleep hours, which will be essential for students' health. Starting school at 7:30 am means students must get necessitates waking up around 6 am considering a.m., factoring in breakfast and commute time. It also means the students must (rephrased for clarity), and consequently requires students to fall asleep before 10 pm last p.m. the previous night in order to maintain 8- hour achieve the recommended eight hours of rest time. With the trends of heavier after-class homework, students tend to finish all the arrangements later. Meanwhile, it (added detail).

However, given the increasing workload from after-school assignments (clarified phrasing), students often find themselves completing tasks late into the night. This not only encroaches upon their sleep but also squeezes the gathering and communication diminishes valuable family time with family members. Night time (rephrased for smoother flow). Evenings may be the only chance that all opportunity for family members can get together to gather and share their daily life. If students must go to bed that experiences (clarified meaning). By requiring students to retire early, they may lose the chance to deeply talk we risk depriving them of meaningful interactions with their parents.parents, which are essential for fostering strong familial bonds and emotional well-being (expanded on consequences).

8 思维导图


- 8:30 a.m. start time
  - Sufficient sleep
    - Overall health and well-being
  - 7:30 a.m. start time issues
    - Early wake-up time
      - Difficult to achieve recommended sleep hours

- Increasing workload
  - Late-night tasks completion
    - Encroaches upon sleep
    - Diminishes family time
      - Valuable for emotional well-being and familial bonds

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
concur/kənˈkɜr/verbto agree or have the same opinion同意I concur with your suggestion that we should shift the school start time.
ample/ˈæmpl/adjectiveenough or more than enough充足的Shifting the school start time would provide students with ample opportunity to obtain sufficient sleep.
necessitate/nəˈsɛsɪteɪt/verbto make something necessary使成为必要A 7:30 a.m. start time necessitates waking up around 6 a.m.
encroach/ɪnˈkroʊʧ/verbto gradually take away someone's rights, possessions, etc.侵犯The increasing workload encroaches upon students' sleep and family time.
diminish/dɪˈmɪnɪʃ/verbto reduce or be reduced in size, importance, or value减少Late-night tasks completion diminishes valuable family time.
retire/rɪˈtaɪər/verbto go away, especially to bed退休;去睡觉By requiring students to retire early, we risk depriving them of meaningful interactions with their parents.
deprivation/ˌdɛprɪˈveɪʃən/nounthe lack of something that is necessary剥夺Sleep deprivation can have negative effects on students' health and well-being.
interaction/ˌɪntərˈækʃən/nouncommunication or direct involvement with someone or something互动Meaningful interactions with parents are essential for fostering strong familial bonds.
emotional/ɪˈmoʊʃənəl/adjectiverelating to the emotions情感的Emotional well-being is important for students' overall health.
familial/fəˈmɪliəl/--------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Academic Discussion 채점 방식

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 ETS 공식 채점 기준에 따라 평가됩니다. AI 평가는 여러 측면에서 각 답안을 분석합니다.

관련성 및 기여도

답안이 질문에 답하고 토론에 의미 있게 기여하는가?

언어 사용

문법 정확성, 어휘 범위, 문장 구조의 질.

전개 및 근거

구체적인 예시와 명확한 논리로 아이디어가 잘 전개되었는가?

답안에서 나타나는 공통 패턴

이 과제에 대한 사용자 제출 답안을 분석한 결과, 학생 답안에서 관찰된 공통 패턴은 다음과 같습니다.

많은 학생이 명확한 의견을 제시하지만 구체적인 뒷받침 예시가 부족합니다.

높은 점수를 받은 답안은 리딩 지문과 다른 참여자의 의견을 직접 인용합니다.

점수가 높은 답안은 다양한 문장 구조와 학술적 어휘를 사용합니다.

시간 관리는 핵심 요소입니다 — 서두른 느낌을 주는 답안은 전개 항목에서 낮은 점수를 받는 경향이 있습니다.

학습 팁

1

글을 쓰기 전에 프롬프트를 꼼꼼히 읽고 질문의 모든 부분을 파악하세요.

2

답안에서 리딩 지문과 다른 학생들의 의견을 언급하세요.

3

핵심 주장을 뒷받침할 구체적인 예시를 사용하고, 일반적인 진술은 피하세요.

4

120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 답안이 길다고 항상 좋은 것은 아니며, 명료함과 초점이 더 중요합니다.

5

시험 조건에서 유창하게 답하기 위해 시간을 정해(10분) 연습하세요.

자주 묻는 질문

TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제란 무엇인가요?
TOEFL Academic Discussion 과제는 온라인 수업 토론에 참여하는 것을 요구합니다. 교수의 질문과 다른 학생들의 답변을 읽은 후, 약 10분 안에 자신의 의견을 표현하고 뒷받침하는 글을 작성하게 됩니다.
Academic Discussion 과제는 어떻게 채점되나요?
이 과제는 토론과의 관련성, 언어 사용의 질(문법, 어휘, 문장 구조), 그리고 구체적인 예시와 근거를 통해 아이디어를 얼마나 잘 전개하고 뒷받침하는지를 기준으로 0~5점 척도로 채점됩니다.
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LingoLeap에서 이 문제를 연습한 실제 TOEFL 응시자들이 제출한 답변입니다. 각 샘플은 저희 AI 채점 엔진에 의해 평가되었으며, 점수와 함께 강점 및 개선이 필요한 부분에 대한 상세한 피드백을 제공합니다.
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이 Academic Discussion 과제를 어떻게 연습할 수 있나요?
무료 LingoLeap 계정에 가입하여 연습할 수 있습니다. 바로 이 질문에 대한 답변을 직접 작성하여 제출하면, 글쓰기에 대한 상세한 피드백과 함께 즉시 AI 평가를 받을 수 있습니다.
Academic Discussion 답변은 얼마나 길게 써야 하나요?
120~150단어를 목표로 하세요. 이 과제는 답변을 작성할 10분의 시간을 제공합니다. 더 긴 답변을 쓰기보다는 명확성, 구체적인 예시로 의견을 뒷받침하는 것, 토론 맥락을 참조하는 것에 집중하세요.

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