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TOEFL TPO 17 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on education. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

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173 contoh kiriman pengguna tersedia

Mulai Latihan Gratis

Ringkasan Tugas

Doctor Achebe

Next, we’ll be discussing the future of higher education, focusing on proposals for making postsecondary education (education after high school) more efficient and more accessible. One such proposal is to make class attendance optional. For instance, under an optional-attendance policy, university students could choose not to attend classes but instead study the course materials and acquire the knowledge on their own time. Their grade would then be based entirely on exams or papers. What are your thoughts on this approach?

Claire

I like the idea of optional attendance. University students have a lot going on, and sometimes it’s difficult to make it to class. As long as students are held accountable for the information they’re supposed to learn, I don’t see why they should have to attend every class session, especially for classes that meet multiple times a week.

Andrew

I have to disagree with Claire. I think that class attendance policies foster another important kind of accountability. They teach discipline and responsibility. Many of the jobs that university or trade school students will pursue after graduation have their own attendance policies, so students should see class attendance as good preparation for entering the workforce.

Contoh Pengguna & Hasil Evaluasi

1

Contoh Pengguna #1

I concur with Claire's viewpoint that university students can be allowed to choose not to attend classes and their grades should be based entirely on ...

Nilai
27

Contoh Pengguna

I concur with Claire's viewpoint that university students can be allowed to choose not to attend classes and their grades should be based entirely on exams or papers. With the competitive job market, university students must pay more attention on themselves align their soft skills with their technical skills. Therefore, participating in various activities is a crucial decision for every student, such as doing some internships relating to their major, experiencing different pressure and culture in different industries and so on. After that, students can be furnished with comprehensive knowledges in order to meet needs at work. However, an optional-attendance policy is a golden opportunity for university students to enhace themselves, because students can make full use of time which should be in the class.

Hasil Evaluasi

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

Estimated Score: 27

3. 任务完成度

您的文章在回应问题方面做得很好,但仍有改进的空间。首先,您需要更详细地解释为什么允许学生选择不上课会对他们有益。其次,您可以提供一些具体的例子来支持您的观点,这将使您的论据更有说服力。

改进示例1: 例如,通过参加实习或志愿者活动,学生可以在现实世界中应用所学知识,并从中获得宝贵经验。

改进示例2: 此外,在线教育资源和远程学习工具使得学生可以在自己适合的时间和地点进行学习,从而提高了学习效率。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章整体结构清晰,但可以通过以下方式进行优化:首先,在引言部分简要介绍一下讨论话题,并明确表达您的观点。其次,在正文部分为每个主要观点提供一个段落,并使用恰当的过渡词来连接不同段落。最后,在结论部分总结您的观点并呼应引言。

改进示例1: 引言:在当前的高等教育环境中,许多人提议实行自主出勤政策。我同意克莱尔的观点,认为这种政策有助于学生更好地利用时间并提高自身能力。

改进示例2: 过渡词:然而,这种自主出勤政策也可能带来一些负面影响。例如,缺乏课堂纪律可能导致学生难以适应职场环境。

5. 语法批改

I concur with Claire's viewpoint that university students can be allowed to choose not to attend classes and their grades should be based entirely on exams or papers. With the competitive job market, university students must pay more attention onto(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) themselvesthemselves,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) alignto align(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) their soft skills with their technical skills. Therefore, participating in various activities is a crucial decision for every student, such as doing some internships relating to their major, experiencing different pressure and culture in different industries and so on. After that, students can be furnished with comprehensive knowledgesknowledge(misspelling) in order to meet needs at work. However, an optional-attendance policy is a golden opportunity for university students to enhaceenhance(misspelling) themselves, because students can make full use of time which should be in the class.

Section Title: 6 文章修订

Revised Essay: I agree with Claire's perspective that university students should have the option to not attend classes, with their grades being determined solely by exams or papers. In today's competitive job market, it is essential for students to focus on developing both their soft and technical skills. Engaging in various activities, such as internships related to their major or exploring diverse industries and cultures, can significantly contribute to their overall growth. Consequently, this equips them with comprehensive knowledge and experiences necessary for meeting workplace demands. An optional-attendance policy presents a valuable opportunity for university students to optimize their time management and enhance personal development by allocating time that would otherwise be spent in class towards more enriching experiences. (123 words)

Revised Essay: I concur agree with Claire's viewpoint perspective (1) that university students should have the option to not attend classes, with their grades being determined solely by exams or papers (2). In today's competitive job market, it is essential for students to focus on developing both their soft and technical skills (3). Engaging in various activities, such as internships related to their major or exploring diverse industries and cultures, can significantly contribute to their overall growth (4). Consequently, this equips them with comprehensive knowledge and experiences necessary for meeting workplace demands (5). An optional-attendance policy presents a valuable opportunity for university students to optimize their time management and enhance personal development by allocating time that would otherwise be spent in class towards more enriching experiences (6).

(1) Changed "I concur with Claire's viewpoint" to "I agree with Claire's perspective" for a more natural tone.

(2) Reworded "can be allowed to choose not to attend classes and their grades should be based entirely on exams or papers. With the competitive job market, university papers" for clarity.

(3) Reworded "university students must pay more attention on themselves align their soft skills with their technical skills. Therefore, participating skills" for better flow and clarity.

(4) Combined two sentences into one and rephrased "participating in various activities is a crucial decision for every student, such as doing some internships relating to their major, experiencing different pressure and culture in different industries and so on. After that, students on" for conciseness.

(5) Changed "students can be furnished with comprehensive knowledges in order to meet needs at work. However, an optional-attendance policy is a golden opportunity for university students to enhace themselves, because students can make full use of time which should be in work" to improve grammar and clarity.

(6) Reworded the class.last sentence for better flow and coherence.

8 思维导图


- 主题: 大学生可选择不上课,成绩完全由考试或论文决定
  - 竞争激烈的就业市场
    - 学生需要发展软技能和技术技能
  - 参加各种活动
    - 与专业相关的实习
    - 探索不同行业和文化
  - 全面的知识和经验
    - 满足职场需求
  - 可选择性出勤政策
    - 时间管理优化
    - 提高个人发展水平

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
perspective/pərˈspektɪv/nouna particular way of considering something观点Claire's perspective on the issue is worth considering.
competitive/kəmˈpetɪtɪv/adjectivedetermined to win or be more successful竞争激烈的The job market is highly competitive these days.
internship/ˈɪntərnʃɪp/nouna temporary position with an emphasis on training and gaining experience in a specific field.实习She completed an internship at a prestigious company last summer.
diverse/daɪˈvɜrs/adjectiveshowing a great deal of variety多样的The students come from diverse backgrounds and cultures.
comprehensive/ˌkɒmprɪˈhensɪv/adjectivecomplete; including all or nearly all elements or aspects of something.全面的She has a comprehensive knowledge of the subject.
optional/ˈɒpʃənl/adjectiveavailable to be chosen but not obligatory可选择的Attendance at the meeting is optional.
attendance/əˈtendəns/nounthe action of being present at an event, meeting, etc.出勤Attendance is required for all employees at the monthly meeting.
time management/taɪm ˈmænɪdʒmənt/nounthe ability to use one's time effectively or productively, especially at work.时间管理Good time management skills are essential for success in college.
personal development/ˈpɜrsənl dɪˈveləpmənt/nounactivities that improve awareness and identity, develop talents and potential, and enhance quality of life.个人发展She focused on personal development by attending workshops and reading self-help books.
2

Contoh Pengguna #2

I concur with Claire's viewpoint in favour of opitional attendance, which can provide more flexibility for students. Firstly, introducing optional att...

Nilai
26

Contoh Pengguna

I concur with Claire's viewpoint in favour of opitional attendance, which can provide more flexibility for students. Firstly, introducing optional attendance can allow students to allocate their time and effort more freely. As we all know, nowadays students have more and more tasks which need them to pay attention to, such as preparation for academic paper, part-time jobs and social practice. And these activities will inevitably consume a lot of time. So allowing a more flexible arrangement for class can help students to conduct a time plan more suitable for themselves. Furthermore, sometimes studying in class is not the most effective way to gain knowledge, for students would not use internet resources or would fear of communicating with teachers directly on class. However, with optional attendance, they may be encouraged to search information or communicate with their teachers online, which will improve their ability to solve problems.

Hasil Evaluasi

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5.0

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

26. 3 任务完成度

您的文章在完成任务方面表现良好,观点明确且与讨论话题相关。但是,您可以进一步改进以下方面:

  1. 在支持观点时提供更多具体的例子。

  2. 注意避免语法错误和不清晰的表达。

示例1:为了支持可选出勤的好处,您可以提供一个关于学生如何利用灵活的时间安排来平衡学术和工作责任的具体例子。 示例2:在文章中,有一句话:“However, with optional attendance, they may be encouraged to search information or communicate with their teachers online, which will improve their ability to solve problems.” 可以改为:“However, with optional attendance, students may be encouraged to seek information or communicate with their teachers online, thereby improving their problem-solving abilities.”

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构基本清晰,包括引言、正文和结论。然而,在组织上还有一些需要改进的地方:

  1. 在正文部分中使用更明确的段落划分,以便突出每个主要观点及其支持细节。

  2. 使用更清晰的过渡词或短语来连接不同的观点和段落。

示例1:在正文部分,您可以将关于时间分配和学习效果的两个观点分成两个段落,以便更清晰地表达您的想法。 示例2:在连接不同观点时,可以使用过渡词如“additionally”或“moreover”来增强文章的连贯性。例如:“Additionally, sometimes studying in class is not the most effective way to gain knowledge, as students might not use internet resources or be afraid of communicating with teachers directly in class.”

5. 语法批改

I concur with Claire's viewpoint in favourfavor(misspelling) of opitionaloptional(misspelling) attendance, which can provide more flexibility for students. Firstly, introducing optional attendance can allow students to allocate their time and effort more freely. As we all know, nowadaysnowadays,(Comma after 'nowadays) students have more and more tasks which need them to pay attention to, such as preparation for academic paper, part-time jobs and social practice. And these activities will inevitably consume a lot of time. SoSo,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) allowing a more flexible arrangement for class can help students to conduct a time plan more suitable for themselves. Furthermore, sometimes studying in class is not the most effective way to gain knowledge, for students would not use internet resources or would fear of communicating with teachers directly on class. However, with optional attendance, they may be encouraged to search information or communicate with their teachers online, which will improve their ability to solve problems.

Section Title: Optional Attendance in Higher Education

I support Claire's perspective on optional attendance, as it offers increased flexibility for students. Firstly, implementing optional attendance enables students to manage their time and resources more effectively. It is well-known that contemporary students face numerous responsibilities, such as academic research, part-time employment, and extracurricular activities. These commitments inevitably consume a significant amount of time. Allowing a more adaptable class schedule can assist students in devising a personalized time management plan.

Moreover, attending classes may not always be the most efficient method for acquiring knowledge. Students might not utilize internet resources or feel apprehensive about engaging with instructors directly during class sessions. With optional attendance, they may be motivated to explore information online or communicate with their teachers through digital platforms, thereby enhancing their problem-solving abilities. (133 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: Optional Attendance in Higher Education

I support (concur with with) Claire's viewpoint in favour of opitional perspective (viewpoint) on optional attendance, which can provide more as it offers increased flexibility for students.

Firstly, introducing implementing (introducing) optional attendance can allow enables students to allocate manage (allocate) their time and effort resources (effort) more freely. effectively (freely). It is well-known (As we all know, nowadays know) that contemporary (nowadays) students face numerous responsibilities (have more and more tasks which need them to pay attention to, tasks), such as academic research (preparation for academic paper, paper), part-time jobs employment (jobs), and extracurricular activities (social practice. And these activities will practice). These commitments inevitably consume a lot significant amount of time. So allowing Allowing a more flexible arrangement for adaptable class schedule can help assist students to conduct in devising a personalized time plan more suitable for themselves. Furthermore, sometimes studying in class is management plan.

Moreover, attending classes may not always be the most effective way to gain knowledge, efficient method for students would acquiring knowledge. Students might not use utilize internet resources or would fear of communicating feel apprehensive about engaging with teachers instructors directly on class. However, with during class sessions. With optional attendance, they may be encouraged motivated to search explore information online or communicate with their teachers online, which will improve through digital platforms, thereby enhancing their ability to solve problems.problem-solving abilities.

8 思维导图


- Optional Attendance in Higher Education
    - Increased flexibility for students
        - Time management
            - Academic research
            - Part-time employment
            - Extracurricular activities
        - Adaptable class schedule
    - Efficient knowledge acquisition methods
        - Internet resources
        - Digital communication with instructors
        - Enhanced problem-solving abilities

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish DefinitionSimplified Chinese TranslationSample Sentence
optional/ˈɒpʃənəl/adjectiveavailable to be chosen but not obligatory可选择的Optional attendance allows students to choose whether or not to attend classes.
flexibility/ˌflɛksɪˈbɪlɪti/nounthe quality of being easily modified灵活性Increased flexibility in class schedules can help students manage their time better.
contemporary/kənˈtɛmpəreri/adjective_belonging to or occurring in the present_当代的_Contemporary students face numerous responsibilities, such as academic research and part-time jobs.
extracurricular/ˌekstrəkəˈrɪkjʊlər/_adjectivesituated outside the regular curriculum or course of study课外的_She participates in various extracurricular activities, such as sports and clubs.
adaptable/əˈdæptəb(ə)l/_adjective_able to adjust to new conditions_适应性强的_An adaptable class schedule can assist students in devising a personalized time management plan.
apprehensive/ˌæprɪˈhensɪv/_adjectiveanxious or fearful that something bad will happen忧虑的_Students might feel apprehensive about engaging with instructors directly during class sessions.
motivation/ˌməʊtɪˈveɪʃ(ə)n/nounthe reason or reasons one has for acting动机Optional attendance may provide motivation for students to explore information online.
digital platform/ˈdɪdʒɪt(ə)l ˈplætfɔrm/nounan online service or application数字平台Students can communicate with their teachers through digital platforms, such as email or chat.
problem-solving/ˈprɒbləm ˈsɒlvɪŋ/adjectivefinding solutions to difficult or complex issues解决问题的Enhanced problem-solving abilities are essential for success in higher education and beyond.
acquire/əˈkwaɪər/verbbuy or obtain (an asset or object) for oneself获得Attending classes may not always be the most efficient method for students to acquire knowledge.

Cara Penilaian Academic Discussion

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Pola Umum pada Jawaban

Berdasarkan analisis kiriman pengguna untuk tugas ini, berikut pola umum yang ditemukan dalam jawaban siswa.

Banyak siswa memberikan opini yang jelas tetapi kurang contoh pendukung yang spesifik.

Jawaban yang kuat secara langsung merujuk pada reading passage dan sudut pandang peserta lain.

Jawaban dengan nilai lebih tinggi menggunakan struktur kalimat yang bervariasi dan kosakata akademik.

Manajemen waktu adalah faktor penting — jawaban yang terasa terburu-buru cenderung mendapat nilai lebih rendah pada aspek pengembangan.

Tips Belajar

1

Baca prompt dengan saksama dan identifikasi semua bagian pertanyaan sebelum menulis.

2

Rujuk reading passage dan pendapat siswa lain dalam jawaban kamu.

3

Gunakan contoh spesifik untuk mendukung poin utama kamu — hindari pernyataan yang terlalu umum.

4

Usahakan sekitar 120-150 kata. Jawaban yang lebih panjang tidak selalu lebih baik; kejelasan dan fokus lebih penting.

5

Latih jawaban dengan waktu terbatas (10 menit) untuk membangun kelancaran dalam kondisi ujian sesungguhnya.

Pertanyaan yang Sering Diajukan

Apa itu tugas TOEFL Academic Discussion?
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Tugas ini dinilai dengan skala 0-5 berdasarkan relevansi terhadap diskusi, kualitas penggunaan bahasa (tata bahasa, kosakata, struktur kalimat), dan seberapa baik kamu mengembangkan serta mendukung idemu dengan contoh spesifik dan penalaran.
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