TOEFL Speaking Task 4 Sample: Using the example of the thunderbird, explain a possible effect of a major climate change.

1.子项得分 Delivery: 3 Language Use: 3 Topic Development: 3

2.预估分数

23. 3.表达

从表达方面来看，这位同学的回答基本上是清晰流畅的，语速适中，偶尔有停顿。但在某些地方，如“Some scientists think the climate change can cause the extinction of the birds.”这句话中，“the climate change”应该改为“climate change”，以及“these birds like to live together”应该改为“these birds tended to gather together”。建议同学在发音和语法方面多加练习，以提高口语表达能力。

4.话题发展 从话题发展方面来看，同学的回答内容基本上是连贯和有条理的，观点之间的联系也比较清晰。然而，在提供支持或例子方面还有待加强。例如，在描述科学家如何得出结论时，可以更详细地解释他们是如何通过分析骨头和干涸的湖泊来推断气候变化导致雷鸟灭绝的。此外，尝试使用更多的连接词和过渡词汇来使回答更加流畅。总之，建议同学在组织回答时更加注重细节和逻辑性。

5.语言使用

Original Answer: In the lecture, the professor explains a possible effect of a major climate change. Some scientists think the climate change can cause the extinction of the birds. Take the thunderbirds as an example. Some scientists have discovered some bones of the thunderbirds are near the dried-up lakes. And these birds like to live together. After a long and dry period, these birds flock together to the remaining water resources. And when it didn't rain and these birds didn't have enough water to drink, so they became extinct. The professor uses the example of the thunderbirds to explain the possible effect of major climate change.

Corrected Answer: In the lecture, the professor explains a possible effect of a major climate change (删除了冠词 "the"). Some scientists think that climate change can cause the extinction of bird species (改为复数形式，更自然). Take the thunderbirds as an example. Some scientists have discovered that bones of the thunderbirds were found near dried-up lakes (改为被动语态，更自然). These birds tended to gather together (改为过去时态，更准确地描述过去的情况). After a long and dry period, these birds flocked together to the remaining water resources. When it didn't rain and these birds didn't have enough water to drink, they eventually became extinct (添加 "eventually" 使句子更自然). The professor uses the example of the thunderbirds to explain the possible effect of major climate change.

Revised Answer (140 words):

In the lecture, the professor discusses a potential consequence of significant climate change. Some scientists believe that climate change can lead to the extinction of various bird species. The thunderbirds serve as an example. Researchers have found that bones of these giant birds were discovered near dried-up lakes, suggesting a connection between their extinction and climate change. These birds tended to gather together, especially during long dry periods when they would flock to the remaining water sources. When there was no rainfall and these birds lacked sufficient water, they eventually became extinct. The professor uses the thunderbirds' extinction as an illustration of how major climate change can impact animal species, highlighting the importance of understanding and addressing such environmental changes.

6.思维导图

• Climate Change
  • Extinction
    • Bird species
      • Thunderbirds
        • Bones found near dried-up lakes
        • Gathering behavior
          • Long dry periods
          • Flocking to remaining water sources
          • No rainfall and insufficient water
          • Eventual extinction

7.关键词