TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: nstructions Your professor is teaching a class on education. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

25. 3 任务完成度

虽然你的文章回答了问题并表达了观点，但是有一些地方需要改进。首先，在引用Claire的观点时，尽量使用自己的话来表达。其次，尝试提供更多具体的例子和细节来支持你的观点。最后，注意语法和词汇的准确性。

示例1： 原文：“Claire suggests that she likes the idae of optional attendance.” 修改：“Claire表示她喜欢可选出勤的想法。”

示例2： 原文：“Infitially we all excited about that adment becasue we thought learning it by reading materials and videos cost less time comparing with taking a class.” 修改：“最初我们都对这个政策感到兴奋，因为我们认为通过阅读材料和观看视频学习比上课节省时间。”

4. 文章结构与组织

在文章结构方面，可以考虑添加一个简短的引言来引导读者进入主题。同时，在正文部分注意逻辑性和段落间的过渡。此外，尝试在结尾部分总结你的观点并给出一个明确的结论。

示例1： 添加引言：“在这场关于高等教育未来的讨论中，我想分享我的观点并回应Claire和Andrew的看法。”

示例2： 改进过渡：“就我个人而言，我认为课堂出勤对学术理解非常重要。这主要是因为……（接下来详细阐述原因）。”

5. 语法批改

In the choice between having aan(Use of 'a' vs. 'an') optional attendance and requiring students to attend the classes, I undoubtedly believe that student should learn the knowledge in the class.The The(Missing space between sentences) main reason is that attendaneattendance(misspelling) policies are benefitialbeneficial(misspelling) to the studentsstudent's(This rule identifies whether there is a missing apostrophe before an 's'.) acadamicacademic(misspelling) comprehension.More More(Missing space between sentences) specifically, our university last year allowed us to choose one majorymajor(misspelling) course that can not be in the class, or learn it by ourselves.Infitially Infitially(Missing space between sentences) we all excited about that admentadvent(misspelling) becasuebecause(misspelling) we thought learning it by reading materials and videos cost less time comparing with taking a class.Consequntly Consequntly(Missing space between sentences), I found it really difficult that I acquire it without our professor guild me.And And(Missing space between sentences) unexpectlyunexpected(misspelling), I also did not want to attend other classes that affect my performance judgement.Eventually Eventually(Missing space between sentences), I got a low grade in that course and waste extra time in it.Moreover Moreover(Missing space between sentences), being in a class also can ask qusetionsquestions(misspelling) to the professor and get answers immediately,it, it(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) also contributes our study. Claire suggests that she likes the idaeidea(misspelling) of optional attendance.I I(Missing space between sentences) doubt that if every studentsall students('each' or 'every' with plural nouns) could keep their enthusiasimenthusiasm(misspelling) with studying,and, and(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) I also worry about the learning efficienceefficiency(misspelling) of them.

Section Title: 6 文章修订

In the debate between optional attendance and mandatory class participation, I firmly believe that students should acquire knowledge through in-class learning. The primary reason is that attendance policies significantly contribute to students' academic comprehension. For instance, our university allowed us to select one major course for self-study last year, instead of attending classes. Initially, we were all excited about this amendment, as we believed that learning through reading materials and videos would be more time-efficient than attending classes. However, I found it challenging to grasp the subject matter without my professor's guidance. Unexpectedly, this also diminished my motivation to attend other classes, ultimately affecting my overall academic performance. Consequently, I received a low grade in that course and wasted additional time attempting to catch up.

Claire expresses her preference for optional attendance; however, I question whether all students can maintain their enthusiasm for studying and remain efficient learners without structured class sessions. Attending classes provides opportunities to ask questions and receive immediate feedback from professors, which significantly contributes to our educational experience. (176 words)

In the choice debate between having a optional attendance and requiring mandatory class participation, I firmly believe that students to attend the classes, I undoubtedly believe that student should learn the acquire knowledge in the class.The main through in-class learning[Clarified the choice being discussed]. The primary reason is that attendane attendance policies are benefitial to the students acadamic comprehension.More specifically, significantly contribute to students' academic comprehension[Improved word choice for clarity]. For instance, our university last year allowed us to choose select one majory major course that can not be in the class, or learn it by ourselves.Infitially for self-study last year, instead of attending classes[Clarified the situation]. Initially, we were all excited about that adment becasue this amendment, as we thought believed that learning it by through reading materials and videos cost less time comparing with taking a class.Consequntly, would be more time-efficient than attending classes[Corrected grammar and clarified meaning]. However, I found it really difficult that I acquire it challenging to grasp the subject matter without our professor guild me.And unexpectly, I my professor's guidance[Improved word choice for clarity]. Unexpectedly, this also did not want diminished my motivation to attend other classes that affect classes, ultimately affecting my performance judgement.Eventually, I got overall academic performance[Clarified cause and effect]. Consequently, I received a low grade in that course and waste extra wasted additional time in it.Moreover, being in a class also can ask qusetions to the professor and get answers immediately,it also contributes our study. attempting to catch up[Clarified outcome].

Claire suggests that she likes the idae expresses her preference for optional attendance; however, I question whether all students can maintain their enthusiasm for studying and remain efficient learners without structured class sessions[Addressed counterargument and clarified concern]. Attending classes provides opportunities to ask questions and receive immediate feedback from professors, which significantly contributes to our educational experience[Emphasized benefits of optional attendance.I doubt that if every students could keep their enthusiasim with studying,and I also worry about the learning efficience of them.attending classes].

8 思维导图

- 主题：强制上课与自选出勤的辩论
  - 学生应通过课堂学习获取知识
    - 出勤政策对学术理解有重要贡献
      - 例子：大学允许选择一门主修课程进行自学
        - 起初，我们对这一改革感到兴奋
        - 结果：没有教授的指导，难以掌握学科知识
          - 影响了参加其他课程的积极性和整体学术表现
    - 对于可选出勤的支持者（如Claire）
      - 质疑：所有学生是否能在没有结构化课程的情况下保持学习热情和效率？
        - 上课提供了向教授提问和获得及时反馈的机会，对教育经历有重要贡献

9 关键词