TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on history&culture. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

1.子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5 Language Use and Grammar: 3.0

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

这篇文章在回答问题方面做得不错，表达了作者的观点并给出了一些例子。但是，有一些地方可以改进。首先，尽量避免使用非正式的词汇，如 "ain't"。其次，在论述观点时要确保提供充分的细节和例证来支持你的观点。

示例1： Instead of "ain't relevant", use "not relevant" or "irrelevant".

示例2： Provide more specific examples to support your viewpoint, such as mentioning a particular news story that helped you gain knowledge or perspective.

4.文章结构与组织

文章整体结构清晰，包括引言、主体和结论。然而，在组织上还有改进的空间。首先，需要在段落之间加入过渡句子以使文章更连贯。其次，在主体段落中，可以使用主题句来明确表达该段落讨论的主要观点。

示例1： Add a transition sentence between paragraphs, such as "In addition to personal growth, being informed about global events can also have other benefits."

示例2： Use a clear topic sentence in each body paragraph, for example: "One reason why it is important to be aware of global events is that it can help us learn from others' experiences and be better prepared for similar situations in our own lives."

5. 语法批改

I agree with the idea of knowing current events which ain't relevant to ourselves. The main reason is that noticing new events could serve as an effective method to foster us beto be(This rule identifies whether the preposition 'to' is missing in a sentence.) passionate. Given that every people face challenges in their life, the valuable experience that how the famous official overcame the obstacles is qualified to educate us how to be energetic. For instance, when I was young, I admired Trump because him faced a lot of issues and finally solved them, thereby whenever I was dealing with problems, I was always optimistic. Although Kathy asserts that we should spend time on working rather than reading news, reading news can also promote people to be erudite. Therefore, in light of the above factors, I firmly believe that individuals are supposed to know current events which ain't relevant to them.

6.文章修订

I concur with the notion of staying informed about current events, even if they may not directly impact our lives. One primary reason is that being aware of such events can foster personal growth and resilience. Learning from the experiences of others, especially influential figures who have overcome challenges, can inspire us to remain optimistic and proactive in our own lives. For example, when I was younger, I admired Donald Trump for his ability to tackle various issues and eventually find solutions.

Although Kathy argues that we should prioritize work over reading news, being well-informed can also contribute to becoming more knowledgeable and well-rounded individuals. Furthermore, being aware of global events allows us to better understand the interconnectedness of our world and how seemingly unrelated events can still influence us indirectly.

In order to enhance the coherence and cohesion of this essay, it is crucial to employ smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs while maintaining proper grammar and sentence structure. Additionally, using advanced vocabulary will help elevate the overall quality of the response.

Revised Essay:

I concur with the notion of staying informed about current events, even if they may not directly impact our lives. One primary reason is that being aware of such events can foster personal growth and resilience. Learning from the experiences of others, especially influential figures who have overcome challenges, can inspire us to remain optimistic and proactive in our own lives. For example, when I was younger, I admired Donald Trump for his ability to tackle various issues and eventually find solutions.

Although Kathy argues that we should prioritize work over reading news, being well-informed can also contribute to becoming more knowledgeable and well-rounded individuals. Furthermore, being aware of global events allows us to better understand the interconnectedness of our world and how seemingly unrelated events can still influence us indirectly.

In order to enhance the coherence and cohesion of this essay, it is crucial to employ smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs while maintaining proper grammar and sentence structure. Additionally, using advanced vocabulary will help elevate the overall quality of the response. (349 words)

7.文章批改

Revised Essay:

I agree concur with the idea of knowing notion of staying informed about current events, even if they may not directly impact our lives (1). One primary reason is that being aware of such events can foster personal growth and resilience (2). Learning from the experiences of others, especially influential figures who have overcome challenges, can inspire us to remain optimistic and proactive in our own lives (3). For example, when I was younger, I admired Donald Trump for his ability to tackle various issues and eventually find solutions (4).

Although Kathy argues that we should prioritize work over reading news, being well-informed can also contribute to becoming more knowledgeable and well-rounded individuals (5). Furthermore, being aware of global events allows us to better understand the interconnectedness of our world and how seemingly unrelated events can still influence us indirectly (6).

Explanations:

(1) "Concur" is a more formal synonym for "agree," which ain't relevant to ourselves. The main reason is that noticing new events could serve is more suitable for an academic context.

(2) "Foster personal growth and resilience" is a clearer and more specific phrase than "serve as an effective method to foster us be passionate. Given that every people face challenges in their life, the valuable experience that how the famous official overcame the obstacles is qualified to educate us how to be energetic. For instance, when I was young, I admired Trump because him faced a lot of issues and finally solved them, thereby whenever I was dealing with problems, I was always optimistic. Although Kathy asserts that we should spend time on working rather than reading news, reading news can also promote people to be erudite. Therefore, in light of the above factors, I firmly believe that individuals are supposed to know current events which ain't relevant to them.passionate."

(3) This sentence has been rephrased for clarity and coherence while maintaining the original idea.

(4) The example has been revised to use proper grammar and provide a clearer connection between the admiration for Trump's problem-solving abilities and the writer's optimism.

(5) The sentence has been rephrased for clarity while maintaining the original idea.

(6) This sentence has been added to provide a smooth transition between ideas and emphasize the importance of understanding global interconnectedness.

8.思维导图

• Introduction

  • Staying informed about current events
  • Personal opinion: important even if not directly impacting lives

• Personal growth and resilience

  • Learning from others' experiences
  • Influential figures overcoming challenges
  • Example: Donald Trump's problem-solving abilities

• Counterargument: Kathy's view on prioritizing work over news

• Benefits of being well-informed

  • Becoming more knowledgeable and well-rounded individuals
  • Understanding global interconnectedness
  • Indirect influence of seemingly unrelated events

9.关键词

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

• 27

3. 任务完成度

这篇文章在任务完成度方面表现较好，成功回答了教授的问题并表达了个人观点。但是，文章可以在以下方面进行改进：

1. 更具体的例子和细节来支持观点。

2. 更深入地讨论与主题相关的其他方面。

改进示例：

1. 在支持保护古建筑的观点时，可以提供一些具体的例子，如某个著名古建筑的破损情况以及政府采取措施后的改善情况。

2. 可以讨论保护古建筑对于文化传承和旅游业发展等方面的重要性。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构基本清晰，包括引言、正文和结尾。然而，在组织上还有一些改进空间：

1. 在段落中使用更明确的主题句来引导读者。

2. 使用更清晰的过渡词或短语来连接不同观点和段落。

改进示例：

1. 在正文第一段开始时，可以使用一个明确的主题句，如：“我认为政府应该将资金用于保护古建筑，而非建造新建筑。”

2. 在连接不同观点时，可以使用过渡词或短语，如：“此外”，“然而”等。例如：“此外，在许多古建筑遗址中，我们可以发现它们的状况堪忧。”

5. 语法批改

Have developed for thousands of years, there are plenty of historical sites and artifacts around the world. I have to admit that many of them are very attractive. However, if let me to choosechoose(Don't let any negativity to affect (affect) you), I would like to spend money on preserving all the old buildings. Companies have already build enough contemporary constructions in cities for residence, buisinessbusiness(misspelling) and so on. Even though building new constructions is very popular today, it could be found that many constructions that have been built for nearly five years are empty because people only buy them, rather than using them. However, when I go to historical sites, I would surpriselysurprise(misspelling) find that many ancient architecturemuch ancient architecture(Possible agreement error: 'many/several/few' + uncountable noun) are in poor condition, which makes it impossible for tourists like me to find how grand it was. Governments have the responsibility to preserve them by spending money on employing experts to repair and protect them. Without implementing some measures to save them, they might collapse in several years and disappear forever, which would be a great pity for both society and idividualsindividuals(misspelling).

Section Title: 6 文章修订

Throughout history, numerous historical sites and artifacts have been established, many of which hold great significance. While it is true that contemporary constructions are abundant in cities for various purposes, I firmly believe that preserving old buildings should be prioritized. In many cases, recently built structures remain unoccupied after just a few years, as people tend to purchase them without utilizing them. Conversely, when visiting historical sites, it is disheartening to see the poor condition of ancient architecture, which often prevents tourists from fully appreciating their grandeur.

Governments bear the responsibility of preserving these invaluable cultural treasures by allocating funds to employ experts who can restore and protect them. If no measures are taken to save these historical sites, they may eventually collapse and vanish forever - a tremendous loss for both society and individuals alike. By investing in the preservation of old buildings and sites, we ensure that future generations can experience firsthand the rich history and heritage that they represent. (166 words)

Have developed for thousands of years, there are plenty of Throughout history (revised for clarity and to set the context), numerous historical sites and artifacts around the world. I have to admit that been established, many of them are very attractive. However, if let me to choose, I would like to spend money on preserving all the old buildings. Companies have already build enough which hold great significance. While it is true that contemporary constructions are abundant in cities for residence, buisiness and so on. Even though building new constructions is very popular today, it could various purposes (revised for better flow and clarity), I firmly believe that preserving old buildings should be found that prioritized (revised to make the argument clear). In many constructions that have been cases, recently built for nearly five years are empty because structures remain unoccupied after just a few years, as people only buy them, rather than using them. However, tend to purchase them without utilizing them (revised for clarity and conciseness). Conversely, when I go to visiting historical sites, I would surprisely find that many it is disheartening to see the poor condition of ancient architecture architecture, which often prevents tourists from fully appreciating their grandeur (revised for better flow and readability).

Governments bear the responsibility of preserving these invaluable cultural treasures by allocating funds to employ experts who can restore and protect them (revised for clarity). If no measures are in poor condition, which makes it impossible for tourists like me to find how grand it was. Governments have the responsibility to preserve them by spending money on employing experts to repair and protect them. Without implementing some measures taken to save them, these historical sites, they might may eventually collapse in several years and disappear forever, which would be and vanish forever - a great pity tremendous loss for both society and idividuals.individuals alike (revised for better flow). By investing in the preservation of old buildings and sites, we ensure that future generations can experience firsthand the rich history and heritage that they represent (revised for conciseness and impact).

8 思维导图

1. 引言
   - 历史遗址和文物的重要性
   - 当代建筑的盛行
   - 保护古建筑的优先性

2. 现代建筑的问题
   - 短期内无人居住
   - 购买但不使用

3. 古建筑的现状
   - 悲惨的状况
   - 影响游客体验

4. 政府责任
   - 保护文化遗产
   - 分配资金雇佣专家

5. 未来世代的利益
   - 亲身体验历史和文化遗产

6. 结论
   - 投资保护古建筑和遗址的重要性

9 关键词

1.子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5 Language Use and Grammar: 3.0

2.预估分数

Estimated Score: 22 (3.5)

3.任务完成度

这篇文章基本上完成了任务要求，但还有一些需要改进的地方。首先，你需要更具体地回答教授的问题，即是否认为人们应该了解与他们日常生活关系不大的世界事件。其次，在提供支持观点的例子时，尽量使用更具体和相关的例子。此外，注意避免使用过于口语化的表达。

改进示例1： Instead of "Given that every people has low time in their life," you can write "Considering that everyone faces challenges in their lives."

改进示例2： Instead of "I regarded Trump as my idol because him faced a lot of issues and finally solved them," you can write "I admired Trump because he overcame numerous obstacles and eventually resolved them."

4.文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面还有待提高。首先，建议在开头部分明确表达你的观点，并在正文部分逐一阐述和支持你的观点。另外，在段落之间使用恰当的过渡词或短语以使文章更连贯。

改进示例1： You can start your essay with a clear statement of your opinion, such as "In my opinion, people should be aware of events happening around the world, even if they have little influence on their daily lives."

改进示例2： To improve the transition between paragraphs, you can use phrases like "Firstly," "Secondly," and "In conclusion" to guide the reader through your arguments.

5. 语法批改

I wholeheartedly concur with Lysol's perspective that we can learn a lot from others' experience. In my view, we, normal individuals, are able to be passionate again through learning from the success of celebrities in the media. Given that every people has low time in their life, the valuable experience that how the famous official overcame the obstacles stand on their road, is qualified to educate us how to be energetic. For instance, when I was young, I regarded Trump as my idol because him faced a lot of issues and finally solved them, thereby whenever I was dealing with problems, I always waswas always(Word order: Wrong position of adverb, e.g. 'Always I am happy. (I am always happy.)') optimistic. Although Kathy parents an idea that we should spend time on working rather than reading news, reading news can also promote people to be erudite. Therefore, in light of the above factors, I firmly believe that individuals are supposed to know current events which absolutely tend to benefit to them.

6.文章修订

In my opinion, people should be aware of events happening around the world, even if they have little influence on their daily lives. I concur with Lysol's perspective that learning from others' experiences is crucial for personal growth and preparedness. Globalization has interconnected our lives, making it essential to understand the potential impact of seemingly unrelated events. For instance, the rising price of wheat in England may eventually affect cereal prices in Taiwan.

Although Kathy argues that consuming news unrelated to one's life is a waste of time, I believe that staying informed can contribute to becoming a well-rounded individual. It is true that some news content may be sensationalized or misleading; however, discerning reliable sources and information is a valuable skill in today's digital age.

Moreover, stories of overcoming adversity can inspire and motivate us during challenging times. For example, when I was younger, I admired Trump for his ability to overcome numerous obstacles and eventually resolve them. This admiration encouraged me to maintain an optimistic attitude when facing my own difficulties.

In summary, being informed about global events not only broadens our horizons but also helps us learn from others' experiences and fosters personal growth. Therefore, I firmly believe that individuals should stay updated on current events as they can ultimately benefit from this knowledge. (218 words)

I wholeheartedly 7.文章批改

In my opinion, people should be aware of events happening around the world, even if they have little influence on their daily lives. (This sentence clearly states the writer's opinion and addresses the professor's question.) I concur with Lysol's perspective that we can learn a lot learning from others' experience. In my view, we, normal individuals, are able to experiences is crucial for personal growth and preparedness. (The word "concur" is more formal than "agree," and "crucial" is a stronger adjective than "important.") Globalization has interconnected our lives, making it essential to understand the potential impact of seemingly unrelated events. (This sentence explains why it is important to know about global events.) For instance, the rising price of wheat in England may eventually affect cereal prices in Taiwan. (This example demonstrates how an event in one country can impact another.)

Although Kathy argues that consuming news unrelated to one's life is a waste of time, I believe that staying informed can contribute to becoming a well-rounded individual. (This sentence acknowledges Kathy's argument and provides a counterpoint.) It is true that some news content may be passionate again through sensationalized or misleading; however, discerning reliable sources and information is a valuable skill in today's digital age. (This sentence addresses the issue of fake news and emphasizes the importance of critical thinking.)

Moreover, stories of overcoming adversity can inspire and motivate us during challenging times. (This sentence introduces a new point about learning from the success of celebrities in the media. Given that every people has low time in their life, the valuable experience that how the famous official overcame the others' experiences.) For example, when I was younger, I admired Trump for his ability to overcome numerous obstacles stand on their road, is qualified to educate and eventually resolve them. (The revised sentence uses proper grammar and clarifies the meaning.) This admiration encouraged me to maintain an optimistic attitude when facing my own difficulties.

In summary, being informed about global events not only broadens our horizons but also helps us how to be energetic. For instance, when I was young, I regarded Trump as my idol because him faced a lot of issues and finally solved them, thereby whenever I was dealing with problems, I always was optimistic. Although Kathy parents an idea that we should spend time on working rather than reading news, reading news can also promote people to be erudite. learn from others' experiences and fosters personal growth. (This sentence summarizes the main points of the essay.) Therefore, in light of the above factors, I firmly believe that individuals are supposed to know should stay updated on current events which absolutely tend to as they can ultimately benefit to them.from this knowledge. (This sentence reinforces the writer's opinion and provides a strong conclusion.)

8.思维导图

• Introduction

  • Opinion: awareness of global events

• Lysol's perspective

  • Learning from others' experiences
  • Personal growth and preparedness
  • Globalization and interconnectedness

• Example

  • Rising price of wheat in England affecting Taiwan's cereal prices

• Counterargument: Kathy's view

  • Time-wasting vs. well-rounded individuals
  • Sensationalized or misleading news content
  • Importance of discerning reliable sources and critical thinking skills

• Overcoming adversity and inspiration from others' stories

  • Trump's example

• Conclusion

  • Broadening horizons, learning from experiences, fostering personal growth

9.关键词

1. 子项得分

• Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5

• Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0

• Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

25. 3 任务完成度

总体来说，这篇文章较好地回答了问题，并提供了一些合理的论据。然而，有一些建议可以帮助改进文章。首先，尽量避免重复使用相同的词汇和表达。其次，在提供论据时，可以尝试举例子或者详细解释原因，以使观点更具说服力。

英文示例1：Instead of saying "I feel so tired and have no more time rest," you can say "Due to the heavy workload, I often find myself exhausted with little time left for relaxation."

英文示例2：You can provide a specific example of news that is irrelevant to daily life, such as "For instance, knowing about a minor celebrity's personal life may not have any impact on our daily routines."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章的结构和组织方面还有待改进。首先，建议在开头部分简要介绍自己的观点，并在正文部分详细阐述论据。此外，在段落之间使用过渡词或短语，以使文章更加流畅。

简体中文建议1：在开头部分明确表达自己的观点，例如：“在这个问题上，我倾向于支持Kathy的观点，认为人们不需要了解与日常生活关系不大的新闻。”

简体中文建议2：在段落之间使用过渡词或短语，例如：“首先，了解与日常生活无关的新闻会浪费时间。其次，我们应该关注与我们生活息息相关的信息。”

英文示例1：You can start your essay with a clear statement of your opinion, such as "In this discussion, I agree with Kathy's viewpoint that people do not need to know about news that has little impact on their daily lives."

英文示例2：Use transition words or phrases between paragraphs, such as "Firstly, knowing irrelevant news is a waste of time. Secondly, we should focus on information that is closely related to our daily lives."

5. 语法批改

From my perspective, I tend to support Kathy'Kathy's view: people do not need to know about news that havehas little influence on their daily lives. Apart from his reason, knowing news that has little impact on our lives is a waste of time, anothertime. Another reason I would like to add is that we should just pay attention to more daily life releventrelevant information around us. In other words, whichthis can cause a high-efficiency utilization of our limited stamina. For instance, as ana university student, I have at least six hours daily course should be taken. More over, ascourses. Moreover, to finish my own expectation, getting aexpectations and get good grades, I feel so tired and have no more time rest. So that,So, I can not even image how can someone always focousfocus on irreleventirrelevant news around them to finish their daily works. Therefore, based on my own experience, I strongly agree with Kathy's opinions.

Title: 6 文章修订

In my opinion, I concur with Kathy's perspective that people do not need to be informed about news that has little impact on their daily lives. In addition to her argument that it is a waste of time, I would like to emphasize the importance of focusing on more relevant information in our immediate surroundings. By doing so, we can make efficient use of our limited energy and resources. For example, as a university student with a demanding schedule, I must allocate at least six hours daily for coursework. Furthermore, in order to achieve my personal goal of attaining good grades, I often find myself exhausted with little time for leisure. Consequently, it is difficult for me to fathom how someone could consistently devote attention to unrelated news while still accomplishing their daily tasks. Based on my own experience, I wholeheartedly support Kathy's viewpoint. (147 words)

From my perspective, I tend to support In my opinion, I concur with Kathy's perspective (Changed "support Kathy' view: view" to "concur with Kathy's perspective" for a more natural tone) that people do not need to know be informed about news that have little influence on their daily lives. Apart from his reason, knowing news that has little impact on our lives their daily lives. In addition to her argument (Changed "his reason" to "her argument" for clarity and consistency) that it is a waste of time, another reason I would like to add is that we emphasize the importance of focusing on more relevant information in our immediate surroundings (Rephrased "we should just pay attention to more daily life relevent information around us. In other words, which us" for better flow and clarity). By doing so, we can make efficient use of our limited energy and resources (Rephrased "which can cause a high-efficiency utilization of our limited stamina. stamina" for better flow and clarity). For instance, example, as a university student with a demanding schedule (Changed "as an university student, I have student" to "as a university student with a demanding schedule" for better context), I must allocate at least six hours daily course for coursework (Changed "course should be taken. More over, as taken" to "for coursework" for clarity). Furthermore, in order to achieve my personal goal of attaining good grades (Changed "as to finish my own expectation, getting a good grades, I grades" to "in order to achieve my personal goal of attaining good grades" for better flow), I often find myself exhausted with little time for leisure (Changed "I feel so tired and have no more time rest. So that, I can not even image rest" to "I often find myself exhausted with little time for leisure"). Consequently, it is difficult for me to fathom how can someone always focous on irrelevent could consistently devote attention to unrelated news around them to finish while still accomplishing their daily works. Therefore, based tasks (Rephrased the sentence for better flow and clarity). Based on my own experience, I strongly agree with wholeheartedly support Kathy's opinions.viewpoint (Changed "Kathy's opinions" to "Kathy's viewpoint").

Title: 8 思维导图

Mindmap:

1. Introduction
   - Agree with Kathy's perspective
   - Focus on relevant information

2. Importance of focusing on immediate surroundings
   - Efficient use of energy and resources

3. Personal example: University student
   - Demanding schedule
   - Allocating time for coursework

4. Personal goal: Good grades
   - Exhaustion and limited leisure time

5. Difficulty in devoting attention to unrelated news

6. Conclusion: Support Kathy's viewpoint

Title: 9 关键词

1. 子项得分

Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5 Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0 Language Use and Grammar: 4.0

2. 预估分数

Estimated Score: 27

3. 任务完成度

总体来说，这篇文章较好地完成了任务要求。你清楚地表达了自己的观点，并且用实例支持了你的观点。然而，可以在以下方面进行改进：

1. 更具体地阐述你的观点，例如提供更多关于如何从历史中学习的具体方法。

2. 可以尝试讨论反对意见，并解释为什么你认为这些意见不正确。

示例1：我们可以从历史事件中学习如何在国家之间建立和平关系，例如通过研究成功的外交政策和国际合作项目。

示例2：虽然有人认为过去的历史可能已经过时，但我们可以从过去的错误中吸取教训，避免重蹈覆辙。

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构基本清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。每个段落都集中在一个特定的观点上，并提供支持细节。但是，在以下方面可以进行改进：

1. 在引言部分明确提出自己的观点，以便读者更好地理解文章的主题。

2. 在段落之间使用更明确的过渡词或短语，使文章更连贯。

示例1：在引言中，可以这样写：“在这个问题上，我倾向于罗纳德的观点，认为从过去的历史中学习对解决现在和未来的问题具有重要意义。”

示例2：在正文段落之间加入过渡词，如：“此外”，“然而”等。例如：“此外，在国际关系方面，我们可以从历史事件中汲取经验教训。”

5. 语法批改

I am more inclined to Ronald's perspective that learning from the past can be beneficial for solving our present problems and even the future's. Learning from history can allow us to find solutions from our ancestors in some similar situation. For example, there are plenty of historical events that tell us to avoid war and hostility between countries and how to build a peaceful relationship with different countries with different culture. This may inspire us to address a solution to solve the war between Russia and Ukraine. As a result, we may no longer suffer from death and danger of the wars and have a peaceful environment for people to trade and travel in the world. Some people may think that it is not useful for people to learn from the past, the benefits of learning from history are more substantial. Therefore, I am convinced that we should learn from our ancestors to find solutions for our own problems.

Section Title: 6 文章修订

In my opinion, Ronald's viewpoint that learning from the past is advantageous for addressing present and future challenges holds merit. By studying history, we can glean valuable insights from our ancestors' experiences in similar situations. For instance, numerous historical events emphasize the importance of avoiding war and fostering peaceful relationships among diverse nations and cultures. These lessons could inspire us to devise solutions for conflicts such as the ongoing strife between Russia and Ukraine. Consequently, we may avert the perils of war and create a harmonious global environment conducive to trade and travel. While some individuals may argue that learning from the past is futile, I firmly believe that the benefits of historical knowledge significantly outweigh any perceived drawbacks. Hence, it is essential for us to draw upon our ancestors' wisdom in order to resolve contemporary issues effectively. (142 words)

I am more inclined to In my opinion, Ronald's perspective viewpoint (revised for clarity and conciseness) that learning from the past is advantageous (rephrased to avoid repetition of "beneficial") for addressing present and future challenges holds merit. By studying history, we can be beneficial for solving our present problems and even the future's. Learning from history can allow us to find solutions glean (replaced "find" with a more specific verb) valuable insights from our ancestors ancestors' experiences in some similar situation. situations. For example, there are plenty of instance, numerous historical events that tell us to avoid emphasize (rephrased for clarity) the importance of avoiding war and hostility between countries fostering peaceful relationships among diverse nations and how to build a peaceful relationship with different countries with different culture. This may cultures. These lessons could inspire us to address devise (replaced "address" with a solution to solve more appropriate verb) solutions for conflicts such as the war ongoing strife between Russia and Ukraine. As a result, Consequently, we may no longer suffer from death avert (rephrased to avoid repetition of "suffer") the perils of war and danger of the wars and have create a peaceful harmonious global environment for people conducive to trade and travel in the world. Some people travel. While some individuals may think argue that it is not useful for people to learn learning from the past, past is futile, I firmly believe that the benefits of learning from history are more substantial. Therefore, I am convinced that we should learn from historical knowledge significantly outweigh any perceived drawbacks (rephrased for clarity). Hence, it is essential for us to draw upon our ancestors ancestors' wisdom in order to find solutions resolve contemporary issues effectively (rephrased for our own problems.better flow).

8 思维导图

1. Introduction
   - Ronald's viewpoint
   - Learning from the past

2. Advantages of studying history
   - Valuable insights from ancestors' experiences
   - Avoiding war and fostering peace

3. Application to current conflicts
   - Russia and Ukraine conflict example

4. Counterargument: futility of learning from the past

5. Benefits outweigh drawbacks

6. Conclusion: essential to draw upon ancestors' wisdom for contemporary issues 

9 关键词