TOEFL TPO 1 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage.

1.Sub Scores

• Task fulfillment: 4

• Organization: 4

• Coherence and Cohesion: 4

• Language Use: 3

2.Estimated Scores

25. 3.Task completeness

The essay does a good job of summarizing the points made in the lecture and explaining how they cast doubt on specific points made in the reading passage. However, there is room for improvement in terms of language use and clarity. To enhance the essay, focus on refining sentence structure, word choice, and grammar.

Example 1: Original: "The lecturer, however, opines that the cost of firms may rise severly because more employees need to be trained and much more money will be spend on training and medical benefits for crews." Improved: "The lecturer, however, argues that companies' costs may rise significantly due to the need for training additional employees and increased spending on their training and medical benefits."

Example 2: Original: "Casting doubt on the claim, the lecturer floats the idea that working a shorter week may decrease employee's job stability and harm their chances for advancing their carrers." Improved: "Casting doubt on this claim, the lecturer suggests that working a shorter week may decrease an employee's job stability and negatively impact their career advancement opportunities."

4.Essay structure and organization The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each point from the lecture, and a conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of coherence between ideas within paragraphs. To enhance organization within paragraphs, use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal what point will be discussed.

Example 1: Original: "Firstly, the reading passage makes clear that by adopting a four-day workweek..." Improved: "Firstly, although the reading passage claims that adopting a four-day workweek would increase employee efficiency..."

Example 2: Original: "Secondly, according to the passage, primary benefits of offering four-day workweek to employees is that it would reduce unemployment rates." Improved: "Secondly, while the passage argues that offering a four-day workweek would reduce unemployment rates..."

5. Grammar

The passage presents three pieces of evidence suggesting that a four-day workweek would benefit the economy as a whowho,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) as well as the individual companies and the employees who decided to take the option.While While(Missing space between sentences) the lecturer contends that offering employees the option of a four-day workweek won't have a positive economic effect as reading suggests for several reasons. Firstly, the reading passage makes clear that by adopting a four-day workweek, companythe company(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) will benefit by the increase in work efficiency of employees. The lecturer, however, opines that the cost of firms may rise severlyseverely(misspelling) because more employees need to be trained and, and(comma between independent clauses) much more money will be spendbe spent(could/should/must be does (done)) on training and medical benefits for crews, also, firms has to pay for more office space and more computers, which will cause a gigantic decrease on company's profits. Secondly, according to the passage, primarythe primary(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.) benefits of offering foura four(This rule identifies whether the article 'a' is missing in a sentence.)-day workweek to employees is that it would reduce unemployment rates. Nonetheless, professor rebuts this by arguing that firms take actions such as ask their employees to work overtime in order to make up the difference or expect that their four-dayemployeesfour-day employees(misspelling) can do the same amount of work they used to do in five days, which will create no additional jobs. Finally, the reading passage maintains that the option of four-day workweek would be better for individual employees because they will have more free time to spend on pursing private interests, enjoying leisure activities or enjoying with families. Casting doubt on the claim, the lecturer floats the idea that working a shorter week may decrease employee's job stability and harm their chances for advancing their carrerscareers(misspelling), because companies might prefer to have five-day employees in management positions to ensure continuous and persistent supervision for the entire workweek.

6. Revised Essay

The passage presents three pieces of evidence suggesting that a four-day workweek would benefit the economy as a whole, as well as individual companies and employees who choose this option. However, the lecturer contends that offering employees the option of a four-day workweek will not have the positive economic effects suggested in the reading for several reasons.

Firstly, the reading passage asserts that adopting a four-day workweek will increase employee efficiency and benefit companies. The lecturer, however, argues that firms may face significantly higher costs due to training new employees and providing additional medical benefits. Moreover, companies would need to invest in more office space and equipment, which could substantially decrease their profits.

Secondly, according to the passage, one of the primary benefits of offering a four-day workweek is reducing unemployment rates. Nonetheless, the professor rebuts this by stating that companies might ask their employees to work overtime or expect their four-day workers to complete the same amount of work they used to do in five days. This approach would not create additional jobs as suggested in the reading.

Finally, the reading passage maintains that a four-day workweek would be better for individual employees because they will have more free time to pursue private interests, enjoy leisure activities or spend time with family. Casting doubt on this claim, the lecturer posits that working a shorter week may decrease an employee's job stability and harm their chances for career advancement. Companies might prefer having five-day employees in management positions to ensure continuous and consistent supervision throughout the entire workweek. (261 words)

The passage presents three pieces of evidence suggesting that a four-day workweek would benefit the economy as a who whole (changed "who" to "whole" for correct meaning), as well as the individual companies and the employees who decided choose this option (rephrased "decided to take the option.While option" for clarity). However, the lecturer contends that offering employees the option of a four-day workweek won't will not have a the positive economic effect as effects suggested in the reading suggests for several reasons.

Firstly, the reading passage makes clear that by asserts that adopting a four-day workweek, company workweek will increase employee efficiency and benefit by the increase in work efficiency of employees. companies. The lecturer, however, opines that the cost of argues that firms may rise severly because more employees face significantly higher costs (changed "severly" to "significantly" for proper spelling and tone) due to training new employees and providing additional medical benefits. Moreover, companies would need to be trained and much more money will be spend on training and medical benefits for crews, also, firms has to pay for invest in more office space and more computers, equipment, which will cause a gigantic could substantially decrease their profits (rephrased "gigantic decrease on company's profits. profits" for natural tone).

Secondly, according to the passage, one of the primary benefits of offering four-day workweek to employees a four-day workweek is that it would reduce reducing unemployment rates. Nonetheless, the professor rebuts this by arguing that firms take actions such as stating that companies might ask their employees to work overtime in order to make up the difference or expect that their four-dayemployees can do four-day workers to complete the same amount of work they used to do in five days, which will days (rephrased "four-dayemployees" for clarity). This approach would not create no additional jobs. jobs as suggested in the reading.

Finally, the reading passage maintains that the option of a four-day workweek would be better for individual employees because they will have more free time to spend on pursing pursue private interests, enjoying interests (changed "pursing" to "pursue"), enjoy leisure activities or enjoying spend time with families. family (added "time with" for clarity). Casting doubt on the this claim, the lecturer floats the idea posits that working a shorter week may decrease an employee's job stability and harm their chances for advancing their carrers, because companies career advancement (changed "carrers" to "career"). Companies might prefer to have having five-day employees in management positions to ensure continuous and persistent consistent supervision for (changed "persistent" to "consistent" for better word choice) throughout the entire workweek.

8. Mind Map

- Introduction
  - Reading passage: Benefits of a four-day workweek
  - Lecturer: Challenges and potential drawbacks

- Employee Efficiency
  - Reading: Increased efficiency, benefits for companies
  - Lecture: Higher costs, training, medical benefits, office space, equipment

- Unemployment Rates
  - Reading: Reduced unemployment rates
  - Lecture: Overtime work, no additional jobs created

- Individual Benefits
  - Reading: More free time, personal interests, leisure activities, family time
  - Lecture: Decreased job stability, hindered career advancement

- Conclusion
  - Lecturer challenges the positive economic effects of a four-day workweek presented in the reading passage.

9. Key Words

1.子项得分 任务完成度：5 组织：4 连贯与衔接：4 语言使用：4

2.预估分数

27. 3.任务完成度

这篇文章很好地完成了任务要求，阐述了听力中提到的观点，并解释了它们如何对阅读材料中的论点产生质疑。要改进的地方并不多，但可以尝试更详细地解释听力中提到的观点，以便让读者更好地理解它们。

示例1： 原文："The professor highlights potential issues such as increased work pressure due to companies expecting their employees to complete the same amount of work in fewer days." 改进后："The professor highlights potential issues such as increased work pressure due to companies expecting their employees to complete the same amount of work in fewer days, which could lead to stress and burnout."

示例2： 原文："In times of economic downturns, those working fewer days are more likely to face job loss due to their perceived lower commitment levels." 改进后："In times of economic downturns, those working fewer days are more likely to face job loss due to their perceived lower commitment levels, as employers may view them as less dedicated and less valuable than full-time employees."

4.文章结构与组织 文章整体结构清晰，包括引言、正文和结论。每段都集中讨论一个特定的观点，并提供支持细节。然而，在段落之间加入更明确的过渡词或短语可以使文章更连贯。

示例1： 原文："Firstly, the professor challenges the reading's claim that a four-day workweek would increase company profits." 改进后："Firstly, the professor challenges the reading's claim that a four-day workweek would increase company profits by presenting several counterarguments."

示例2： 原文："In addition, the lecture refutes the reading's idea that employees working a four-day week would enjoy more free time and an improved quality of life." 改进后："Moreover, the lecture refutes the reading's idea that employees working a four-day week would enjoy more free time and an improved quality of life by highlighting potential drawbacks."

5. 语法批改

The lecture primarily disputes the advantages of a four-day workweek as opposed to a traditional five-day workweek, contrasting with the assertions made in the reading passage.

Firstly, the professor challenges the reading's claim that a four-day workweek would increase company profits. Contrary to this assertion, the lecturer contends that implementing such a schedule would necessitate hiring additional staff, thereby increasing expenses on training and health insurance for new employees. Furthermore, accommodating these new hires would require more office space and equipment, such as computers. Consequently, these added costs would offset any potential profit gains.

In addition, the lecture refutes the reading's idea that employees working a four-day week would enjoy more free time and an improved quality of life. The professor highlights potential issues such as increased work pressure due to companies expecting their employees to complete the same amount of work in fewer days. This heightened workload could ultimately lead to a decline in overall quality of life for those employees who opt for a shorter workweek.

Lastly, while the reading suggests that a four-day workweek could enhance an employee's personal life, the lecture presents opposing arguments. The professor notes that reduced working hours might negatively impact employees' job stability and career advancement opportunities. In times of economic downturns, those working fewer days are more likely to face job loss due to their perceived lower commitment levels. Moreover, companies may prefer promoting full-time employees into management positions to ensure continuous coverage and consistent supervision throughout the entire workweek. As a result, individuals who choose a four-day workweek may encounter challenges in achieving long-term career success and maintaining job security.

Overall, the lecture casts doubt on several key points made in the reading passage regarding potential benefits of adopting a four-day workweek for companies and their employees.

6.文章修订

The lecture primarily disputes the advantages of a four-day workweek in comparison to a traditional five-day workweek, presenting a stark contrast to the assertions made in the reading passage.

Initially, the professor challenges the reading's claim that a four-day workweek would bolster company profits. In opposition to this assertion, the lecturer contends that implementing such a schedule would necessitate hiring additional staff, thereby augmenting expenses on training and health insurance for new employees. Furthermore, accommodating these new hires would demand more office space and equipment, such as computers. Consequently, these added costs would offset any potential profit gains and undermine the reading's argument.

Moreover, the lecture refutes the reading's notion that employees working a four-day week would relish more free time and an enhanced quality of life. The professor highlights potential drawbacks such as increased work pressure due to companies expecting their employees to complete an equivalent amount of work in fewer days. This heightened workload could ultimately lead to stress and burnout, resulting in a decline in overall quality of life for those employees who opt for a shorter workweek.

Lastly, while the reading suggests that a four-day workweek could enrich an employee's personal life, the lecture presents opposing arguments. The professor notes that reduced working hours might adversely impact employees' job stability and career advancement opportunities. In times of economic downturns, those working fewer days are more likely to face job loss due to their perceived lower commitment levels, as employers may view them as less dedicated and less valuable than full-time employees. Moreover, companies may prefer promoting full-time employees into management positions to ensure continuous coverage and consistent supervision throughout the entire workweek. As a result, individuals who choose a four-day workweek may encounter challenges in achieving long-term career success and maintaining job security.

In summary, by presenting compelling counterarguments against key points made in the reading passage regarding potential benefits of adopting a four-day workweek, the lecture casts doubt on the overall effectiveness of such a policy for both companies and their employees. (338 words)

7.文章批改

The lecture primarily disputes the advantages of a four-day workweek as opposed in comparison to a traditional five-day workweek, contrasting with presenting a stark contrast (stronger adjective to emphasize the difference) to the assertions made in the reading passage.

Firstly, Initially, the professor challenges the reading's claim that a four-day workweek would increase bolster (more advanced vocabulary for "increase") company profits. Contrary In opposition to this assertion, the lecturer contends that implementing such a schedule would necessitate (more formal word for "require") hiring additional staff, thereby increasing augmenting (advanced vocabulary for "increasing") expenses on training and health insurance for new employees. Furthermore, accommodating these new hires would require demand (stronger word choice) more office space and equipment, such as computers. Consequently, these added costs would offset any potential profit gains. gains and undermine (stronger verb to show contradiction) the reading's argument.

In addition, Moreover, the lecture refutes the reading's idea notion that employees working a four-day week would enjoy relish (advanced vocabulary for "enjoy") more free time and an improved enhanced quality of life. The professor highlights potential issues drawbacks such as increased work pressure due to companies expecting their employees to complete the same an equivalent amount of work in fewer days. This heightened workload could ultimately lead to stress and burnout, resulting in a decline in overall quality of life for those employees who opt for a shorter workweek.

Lastly, while the reading suggests that a four-day workweek could enhance enrich (advanced vocabulary for "improve") an employee's personal life, the lecture presents opposing arguments. The professor notes that reduced working hours might negatively adversely impact (more formal phrase) employees' job stability and career advancement opportunities. In times of economic downturns, those working fewer days are more likely to face job loss due to their perceived lower commitment levels. levels, as employers may view them as less dedicated and less valuable than full-time employees. Moreover, companies may prefer promoting full-time employees into management positions to ensure continuous coverage and consistent supervision throughout the entire workweek. As a result, individuals who choose a four-day workweek may encounter challenges in achieving long-term career success and maintaining job security.

Overall, the lecture casts doubt on several In summary, by presenting compelling counterarguments (stronger adjective to emphasize the effectiveness of the arguments) against key points made in the reading passage regarding potential benefits of adopting a four-day workweek for workweek, the lecture casts doubt on the overall effectiveness of such a policy for both companies and their employees.

8.思维导图

• Introduction

  • Disputes advantages of four-day workweek
  • Contrast with reading passage

• Point 1: Company profits

  • Additional staff costs
    • Training and health insurance expenses
    • Office space and equipment
  • Offset potential profit gains

• Point 2: Quality of life for employees

  • Increased work pressure
    • Equivalent workload in fewer days
    • Stress and burnout risk

• Point 3: Personal life and career advancement

  • Reduced working hours' impact on job stability and promotion opportunities
    • Economic downturns and job loss risk for part-time employees
    • Full-time employees preferred for management positions

9.关键词