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TOEFL Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on self-care. Write a post responding to the professor's question.

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Aperçu de la Tâche

Professor

Professor Diaz: This week we talked about how important taking time off from work or school is for people's well-being. Some people believe they get the most benefit when that time off is structured: that is it involves planning in advance about what will be accomplished on that day. Others believe it is better to enjoy the day with no plan for how to spend it. In this discussion post please indicate which of those approaches to spending time off from work on school you prefer and why?

Student A

Claire: I find it beneficial to do some advance planning for my free time. I live far away from my family so when l am getting ready to visit them during a school holiday. always plan my time off from school very carefully. That way l have enough time to visit with each family member.

Student B

Paul Personally, l prefer not to make any plans for my free time. I go to school, and l have a part-time job each week. I make a schedule to be sure I can complete both my work and studies. So when I have time off from work and school, I just want to relax with no plan.

Exemples d'Utilisateurs et Résultats d'Évaluation

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1

Exemple d'Utilisateur #1

I concur with Claire that planning for free time is more beneficial, primarily due to its efficiency in time management. For instance, in our fast-pac...

Score
28

Exemple d'Utilisateur

I concur with Claire that planning for free time is more beneficial, primarily due to its efficiency in time management. For instance, in our fast-paced society, individuals often grapple with balancing work and personal development within their limited schedules. When preparing for the Spring Festival, it will be better to easily purchase tickets in advance without spending excessive time on them later. Additionally, while Paul contends that planning can lead him to feel stressed, it is crucial to acknowledge that its advantages can surpass its disadvantages. With the proper plans, one can easily play with friends, go out and watch movies, and have dinners with family rather than stay at home, watching boring movies alone all day. The cost of being lazy for twenty minutes might be not knowing what to do for eight hours. In conclusion, planning can help individuals save time and make their free time more interesting, making it more beneficial.

Résultat de l'Évaluation

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 5

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.5

  • Language Use and Grammar: 4.5

2. 预估分数

28. 3 任务完成度

这篇文章在完成任务方面做得很好,回答了教授的问题并提供了合理的论据。为了进一步改进,可以尝试在论述中加入更多具体的例子来支持观点。同时,也可以适当增加对Paul观点的讨论,以便更全面地展示自己的立场。

Example 1: Instead of "With the proper plans, one can easily play with friends, go out and watch movies, and have dinners with family rather than stay at home, watching boring movies alone all day.", you could write "For example, by planning a day trip to a nearby city with friends in advance, one can ensure that everyone's schedules are aligned and transportation is arranged, leading to a more enjoyable experience."

Example 2: You could add a sentence like "Although Paul's preference for unstructured free time is understandable given his busy schedule, it might be more beneficial for him to plan some activities in advance to make the most out of his limited free time."

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构清晰,包括引言、正文和结论。段落之间的逻辑关系也很明确。为了进一步改进文章组织,可以在段落中使用更明确的过渡词或短语来连接不同的观点。此外,可以尝试在结论部分更加明确地总结自己的观点和论据。

Example 1: Instead of "In conclusion, planning can help individuals save time and make their free time more interesting, making it more beneficial.", you could write "In conclusion, due to its efficiency in time management and the ability to make free time more interesting, planning for free time is a more beneficial approach."

Example 2: Add a transition phrase like "On the other hand" when discussing Paul's viewpoint: "On the other hand, while Paul contends that planning can lead him to feel stressed, it is crucial to acknowledge that its advantages can surpass its disadvantages."

5. 语法批改

I concur with Claire that planning for free time is more beneficial, primarily due to its efficiency in time management. For instance, in our fast-paced society, individuals often grapple with balancing work and personal development within their limited schedules. When preparing for the Spring Festival, it will be better to easily purchase tickets in advance without spending excessive time on them later.

Additionally, while Paul contends that planning can lead him to feel stressed, it is crucial to acknowledge that its advantages can surpass its disadvantages. With the proper plans, one can easily play with friends, go out and watch movies, and have dinners with family rather than stay at home, watching boring movies alone all day. The cost of being lazy for twenty minutes might be not knowing what to do for eight hours.

In conclusion, planning can help individuals save time and make their free time more interesting, making it more beneficial.

Title: 6 文章修订

I agree with Claire that planning our leisure time is advantageous, primarily due to its effectiveness in managing time. In today's fast-paced society, individuals often struggle to balance work and personal development within their limited schedules. For example, when preparing for the Spring Festival, it is more efficient to purchase tickets in advance rather than spending excessive time on them later.

Moreover, while Paul argues that planning can lead to stress, it is essential to recognize that the benefits can outweigh the drawbacks. With well-structured plans, one can easily socialize with friends, enjoy movies at the theater, and share meals with family instead of staying at home watching uninteresting films alone all day. The cost of being idle for twenty minutes might result in not knowing what to do for eight hours.

Ultimately, planning can help individuals optimize their time and make their leisure activities more engaging and fulfilling. (152 words)

Revised essay: Title: 7 文章批改

I concur agree with Claire (reason: "concur" is more formal and less commonly used in everyday language) that planning for free time is more beneficial, our leisure time (reason: "free time" can be replaced with "leisure time" for variety) is advantageous (reason: "beneficial" can be replaced with "advantageous" for variety), primarily due to its efficiency in time management. For instance, in our effectiveness in managing time (reason: rephrased for clarity). In today's fast-paced society, individuals often grapple with balancing struggle to balance work and personal development within their limited schedules. When For example, when preparing for the Spring Festival, it will be better to easily is more efficient to purchase tickets in advance without rather than spending excessive time on them later. later (reason: rephrased for clarity).

Additionally, Moreover, while Paul contends argues that planning can lead him to feel stressed, to stress, it is crucial to acknowledge essential to recognize that its advantages can surpass its disadvantages. the benefits can outweigh the drawbacks (reason: rephrased for clarity). With the proper well-structured plans, one can easily play socialize with friends, go out and watch movies, and have dinners enjoy movies at the theater, and share meals with family rather than stay instead of staying at home, home watching boring movies uninteresting films alone all day. day (reason: rephrased for clarity). The cost of being lazy idle for twenty minutes might be result in not knowing what to do for eight hours. hours (reason: rephrased for clarity).

In conclusion, Ultimately, planning can help individuals save optimize their time and make their free time leisure activities more interesting, making it more beneficial.engaging and fulfilling (reason: rephrased for clarity).

8 思维导图


- 主题: 计划休闲时间的优势
  - 管理时间
    - 快节奏社会中的平衡
    - 提前购买春节票务
  - 应对压力
    - 规划好的计划带来更多收益
    - 社交、观影、家庭聚餐等活动
  - 优化时间和活动质量
    - 避免无聊和浪费时间
    - 更有趣和充实的休闲活动

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
advantageous/ədˈvæntɪdʒəs/adjbeneficial; favorable有利的Planning our leisure time is advantageous for managing time.
effectiveness/ɪˈfɛktɪvnəs/nthe degree to which something works well or produces the desired result效果The effectiveness of planning in managing time is significant.
fast-paced/fæstˈpeɪst/adjhappening very quickly快节奏的In today's fast-paced society, individuals often struggle to balance work and personal development.
essential/ɪˈsɛnʃəl/adjabsolutely necessary; extremely important必要的It is essential to recognize that the benefits of planning can outweigh the drawbacks.
socialize/ˈsoʊʃəˌlaɪz/vto take part in social activities社交With well-structured plans, one can easily socialize with friends.
theater/ˈθiətər/na building where plays, movies, or concerts are performed剧院One can enjoy movies at the theater with proper planning.
idle/ˈaɪdəl/adjnot working or being used; doing nothing闲置的The cost of being idle for twenty minutes might result in not knowing what to do for eight hours.
optimize/ˈɑptɪmaɪz/vto make something as good as possible优化Planning can help individuals optimize their time and make their leisure activities more engaging and fulfilling.
fulfilling/fʊlˈfɪlɪŋ/ │ adj │ providing happiness or satisfaction │ 充实的 │ Well-planned leisure activities are more fulfilling. │
2

Exemple d'Utilisateur #2

Paul presents a persuasive argument in favor of the negative impact of social media influencers. Admittedly, follows those social media influencers wi...

Score
23

Exemple d'Utilisateur

Paul presents a persuasive argument in favor of the negative impact of social media influencers. Admittedly, follows those social media influencers without critical thinking definitely make blindly choice. However, considering about the vast amount of latest news and messages that social media influencers bring to us, I believe that social media have more positive impacts. For example, the social media, severing as kind of information resources, can help both high school students and undergraduate students choose a suitable school for their further study. Therefore, I firmly believe that that social media has more positive impacts rather than the negative one.

Résultat de l'Évaluation

1. 子项得分

  • Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.0

  • Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 3.5

  • Language Use and Grammar: 3.5

2. 预估分数

23. 3 任务完成度

虽然你的文章在表达观点和参与讨论方面做得不错,但仍有改进的空间。首先,你需要更具体地回答教授的问题,即社交媒体影响者对其追随者产生的积极还是消极影响。其次,在支持你的观点时,可以提供更多详细的例子和论据。

示例1(英文):Instead of just mentioning that social media serves as an information resource, you could provide specific examples of how influencers promote self-care practices, such as sharing healthy recipes or exercise routines.

示例2(英文):To further support your viewpoint, you could discuss the potential negative effects of blindly following influencers and suggest ways for followers to critically evaluate the information they receive from these sources.

4. 文章结构与组织

文章结构方面还有待加强。首先,可以在开头部分明确地陈述你的观点,并在正文中逐一阐述支持观点的论据。此外,在段落之间使用过渡词或短语以增强逻辑性。

示例1(英文):You could start your essay with a clear thesis statement, such as "In my opinion, social media influencers have a predominantly positive impact on their followers, as they provide valuable information and promote self-care practices."

示例2(英文):To improve the organization of your essay, use transition words or phrases like "firstly," "secondly," and "in conclusion" to guide the reader through your arguments and make your writing more coherent.

5. 语法批改

Paul presents a persuasive argument in favor of the negative impact of social media influencers. Admittedly, follows those social media influencers without critical thinking definitely make blindly choice. However, considering about theconsidering the(Collocation: consider (about)) vast amount of latest news and messages that social media influencers bring to us, I believe that social media have more positive impacts. For example, the social media, severing as kind of information resources, can help both high school students and undergraduate students choose a suitable school for their further study. Therefore, I firmly believe that that social media has more positive impacts rather than the negative one.

Section Title: 6 Article Revision

While Paul raises a valid concern regarding the potential negative influence of social media influencers, it is important to acknowledge the benefits they provide as well. Although blindly following influencers without critical thinking can lead to poor decision-making, the vast amount of information and updates they share can be advantageous. For instance, social media serves as a valuable resource for high school and undergraduate students seeking suitable schools for further education. Consequently, I maintain that the positive impacts of social media influencers outweigh the negatives, provided that followers approach their content with discernment and thoughtfulness. (100 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 7 Article Revision

Paul presents a persuasive argument in favor of the negative impact of social media influencers. Admittedly, follows following those social media influencers without critical thinking can definitely make blindly choice. lead to blind choices (revised for clarity and natural tone). However, considering about the vast amount of latest news and messages that social media influencers bring to us, I believe that social media have has more positive impacts. impacts (revised for grammatical accuracy). For example, the social media, severing serving as a kind of information resources, resource (revised for natural tone), can help both high school students and undergraduate students choose a suitable school for their further study. Therefore, I firmly believe that that social media has more positive impacts rather than the negative one.ones (revised for grammatical accuracy).

8 思维导图


1. 导言
   - 社交媒体影响力
   - 正面与负面影响

2. 社交媒体的优势
   - 信息传播
   - 教育资源

3. 关键性思维
   - 避免盲目跟随
   - 做出明智决策

4. 结论
   - 社交媒体影响力的正面影响大于负面影响
   - 跟随者需具备辨别能力和思考力

9 关键词

WordPhonetic SymbolPart of SpeechEnglish definitionSimplified Chinese translationSample sentences
influencer/ˈɪnfluənsər/nouna person who has the power to influence many people影响者Social media influencers can have a significant impact on their followers' decisions.
discernment/dɪˈsɜːrn.mənt/nounthe ability to judge well辨别力Followers should approach influencers' content with discernment and thoughtfulness.
thoughtfulness/ˈθɔːt.fəl.nəs/nounthe quality of thinking carefully before making decisions思考力Thoughtfulness is essential when considering the information shared by social media influencers.
advantageous/ˌæd.vənˈteɪ.dʒəs/adjectivegiving an advantage; helpful有利的The vast amount of information shared by influencers can be advantageous for students seeking educational resources.
blindly/ˈblaɪnd.li/adverbwithout thinking or considering the facts盲目地Blindly following influencers without critical thinking can lead to poor decision-making.
valid/ˈvæl.ɪd/adjectivebased on truth or reason; able to be accepted有效的Paul raises a valid concern regarding the potential negative influence of social media influencers.
outweigh_ /aʊtˈweɪ/ __ verb __ to be greater or more important than something else _超过I maintain that the positive impacts of social media influencers outweigh the negatives.
resource_ /rɪˈsɔːrs/ __ noun __ a useful or valuable possession or quality of a country, organization, or person _ _资源_Social media serves as a valuable resource for high school and undergraduate students seeking suitable schools for further education.
approach_ /əˈprəʊtʃ/ __ verb/noun __ to come near or nearer to something in space, time, quality, or amount; a way of considering something _靠近,方法__
consequence/ˈkɒn.sɪ.kwəns//noun//a result of a particular action or situation, often one that is bad or not convenient后果/结果/Consequently, I maintain that the positive impacts of social media influencers outweigh the negatives.
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Comment la Discussion Académique est Évaluée

La tâche TOEFL Discussion Académique est évaluée selon le barème officiel de l'ETS. L'évaluation par IA analyse chaque réponse selon plusieurs dimensions.

Pertinence et Contribution

La réponse traite-t-elle la question et contribue-t-elle de façon pertinente à la discussion ?

Utilisation de la Langue

Précision grammaticale, richesse du vocabulaire et qualité de la structure des phrases.

Développement et Argumentation

Les idées sont-elles bien développées avec des exemples précis et un raisonnement clair ?

Tendances Communes dans les Réponses

D'après l'analyse des réponses soumises par les utilisateurs pour cette tâche, voici les tendances courantes observées dans les réponses des étudiants.

De nombreux étudiants expriment des opinions claires mais manquent d'exemples précis à l'appui.

Les réponses solides font directement référence au texte de lecture et aux points de vue des autres participants.

Les réponses les mieux notées utilisent des structures de phrases variées et un vocabulaire académique.

La gestion du temps est un facteur clé — les réponses qui semblent précipitées ont tendance à obtenir un score plus faible en développement.

Conseils d'Apprentissage

1

Lisez attentivement la consigne et identifiez toutes les parties de la question avant d'écrire.

2

Faites référence au texte de lecture et aux opinions des autres étudiants dans votre réponse.

3

Utilisez des exemples précis pour appuyer votre idée principale — évitez les affirmations génériques.

4

Visez 120 à 150 mots. Une réponse plus longue n'est pas toujours meilleure ; la clarté et la précision comptent davantage.

5

Entraînez-vous à répondre en temps limité (10 minutes) pour gagner en aisance dans les conditions de l'examen.

Questions fréquentes

Qu'est-ce que la tâche TOEFL Academic Discussion ?
La tâche TOEFL Academic Discussion vous demande de contribuer à une discussion de classe en ligne. Vous lirez la question d'un professeur ainsi que les réponses d'autres étudiants, puis vous rédigerez votre propre contribution exprimant et justifiant votre opinion en environ 10 minutes.
Comment la tâche Academic Discussion est-elle notée ?
La tâche est notée sur une échelle de 0 à 5 en fonction de la pertinence par rapport à la discussion, de la qualité de l'usage de la langue (grammaire, vocabulaire, structure des phrases), et de la manière dont vous développez et étayez vos idées à l'aide d'exemples précis et d'un raisonnement solide.
Que sont les exemples d'utilisateurs sur cette page ?
Il s'agit de véritables réponses soumises par des candidats au TOEFL qui se sont entraînés sur cette question sur LingoLeap. Chaque exemple a été évalué par notre moteur de notation par IA, qui fournit une note ainsi qu'un retour détaillé sur les points forts et les axes d'amélioration.
Quelle est la fiabilité de l'évaluation par IA ?
Le moteur d'évaluation par IA de LingoLeap est entraîné sur les grilles de notation officielles de l'ETS et calibré par rapport aux notes attribuées par des correcteurs humains. Bien qu'aucun système automatisé ne soit parfait, il fournit un retour fiable à des fins d'entraînement et aide à identifier des axes d'amélioration précis.
Comment puis-je m'entraîner à cette tâche Academic Discussion ?
Vous pouvez vous entraîner en créant un compte LingoLeap gratuit. Rédigez votre propre réponse à cette question précise, soumettez-la, et recevez une évaluation par IA instantanée accompagnée d'un retour détaillé sur votre rédaction.
Quelle longueur ma réponse Academic Discussion doit-elle avoir ?
Visez 120 à 150 mots. La tâche vous laisse 10 minutes pour rédiger votre réponse. Concentrez-vous sur la clarté, appuyez votre opinion avec des exemples précis, et faites référence au contexte de la discussion plutôt que d'écrire une réponse plus longue.

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