TOEFL TPO -1 Academic Discussion Writing Sample: Your professor is teaching a class on marketing. Write a post responding to the professor's question. ln your response, you should do the following.- Express and support your opinion. - Make a contribution to the discussion in your own words.An effective response will contain at least 100 words
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Professor
Dr. Gupta We are looking this week at different ways businesses market their products and services,especially nontraditional methods. One thing that marketers pay close attention to is online reviews of their products. A business might include customer reviews on their website or carefully monitor the reviews on third-party sites. I would like you to discuss your own experiences with online reviews.Do you find them useful when deciding whether or not to buy a product or service? Why or why not?
Andrew
l think online reviews are a great source of information because they are written by ordinary customers who are like me. For instance,when I read a restaurant review by professional food critics, I'm not interested in some of the details that are included,like how the food is prepared. I'm more interested in aspects like the quality of the food and the service, which regular customers usually comment on.
Claire
To me, online reviews have some real problems. First people are more likely to post reviews after a bad experience than after a good one. As a result, what you read is often weighted toward the negative. Also, you have no way of knowing whether reviewers know what they are talking about or even if they actually bought and used the product they are reviewing.
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In my personal opinion, I firmly believe that online reviews are extremely useful for me. I am in strong concurrence with Andrew’s perspective that online reviews are a great souce of information, as it provides us with useful information of sevices or products’ detail. Apart from what Andrew has raised, I would further argue that using online reviews can improve my efficience and productivity. As one might expect, as a college student, I am overwhelmed with numerous assigments, tasks, and projects. However, by using online reviews to purchase material I need, a large amount of valuable time can be saved for me to concentrate on my academic learning, ultimately improve my efficiency and productivity. While Claire emphasizes that online reviews may provide some impractical information since people always pose negative comments, she overlooks the fact that almost all products and services can be commented only when they are bought by certain consumers.
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1. 子项得分
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Relevance and Contribution to Discussion: 4.5
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Clarity and Elaboration of Viewpoint: 4.0
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Language Use and Grammar: 4.0
2. 预估分数
- 27
3. 任务完成度
总体来说,这篇文章较好地完成了任务要求。你表达了自己的观点,并通过实例支持了你的看法。然而,有一些方面可以改进。首先,在论述中可以加入更多与话题相关的细节,例如提供具体的在线评论网站名称或分享自己在阅读在线评论时的亲身经历。其次,在讨论Claire的观点时,可以更深入地探讨她提到的问题,并给出解决这些问题的建议。
示例1:我发现在Amazon上阅读其他消费者对电子产品的评价非常有帮助,因为他们会详细描述产品性能和使用感受。 示例2:为了避免受到负面评价过多影响,我们可以选择只关注那些经过验证购买过产品或服务的消费者所发表的评论。
4. 文章结构与组织
文章结构方面表现良好,包括引言、正文和结论。每段都集中讨论了一个特定观点,并提供了支持细节。然而,在段落之间添加一些过渡词或短语可以使文章更连贯。此外,可以尝试在正文部分使用更多的主题句来引导读者了解段落的核心观点。
建议1:在讨论Andrew和Claire的观点时,可以使用过渡词如“然而”、“相反地”等来突出两者之间的对比。 示例:然而,Claire认为在线评论存在一些问题。
建议2:在正文段落开头使用主题句来引导读者。 示例:首先,我同意Andrew的观点,认为在线评论是获取产品信息的重要途径。
5. 语法批改
In my personal opinion, I firmly believe that online reviews are extremely useful for me. I am in strong concurrence with Andrew’s perspective that online reviews are a great soucesource(misspelling) of information, as it provides us with useful information of sevicesservices(misspelling) or products’ detail. Apart from what Andrew has raised, I would further argue that using online reviews can improve my efficienceefficiency(misspelling) and productivity. As one might expect, as a college student, I am overwhelmed with numerous assigmentsassignments(misspelling), tasks, and projects. However, by using online reviews to purchase material I need, a large amount of valuable time can be saved for me to concentrate on my academic learning, ultimately improve my efficiency and productivity.
While Claire emphasizes that online reviews may provide some impractical information since people always pose negative comments, she overlooks the fact that almost all products and services can be commented only when they are bought by certain consumers.
Title: 6 文章修订
In my personal opinion, I firmly believe that online reviews are extremely beneficial for consumers. I strongly concur with Andrew's viewpoint that online reviews serve as a valuable source of information, as they provide insights into the details of products and services. In addition to Andrew's points, I would further argue that utilizing online reviews can enhance one's efficiency and productivity. As a college student, I am often inundated with numerous assignments, tasks, and projects. However, by relying on online reviews to purchase the materials I need, a significant amount of time can be saved, allowing me to focus on my academic pursuits and ultimately improve my efficiency and productivity.
While Claire highlights the potential drawbacks of online reviews, such as an overemphasis on negative experiences or the credibility of reviewers, she fails to consider that most platforms require consumers to have purchased a product or service before leaving a review. This feature helps ensure that feedback is based on genuine experiences and adds credibility to the opinions shared in these reviews. (175 words)
In my personal opinion, I firmly believe that online reviews are extremely useful for me. I am in strong concurrence beneficial (changed "useful" to "beneficial" for a more specific and positive connotation) for consumers. I strongly concur (changed "concurrence" to "concur" for a more natural expression) with Andrew’s perspective that online reviews are a great souce Andrew's viewpoint that online reviews serve as a valuable source of information, as it provides us with useful information of sevices or products’ detail. Apart from what Andrew has raised, they provide insights (changed "information" to "insights" to avoid repetition) into the details of products and services. In addition to Andrew's points, I would further argue that using utilizing (changed "using" to "utilizing" for a more formal tone) online reviews can improve my efficience enhance one's efficiency and productivity. As one might expect, as a college student, I am overwhelmed often inundated (changed "overwhelmed" to "inundated" for better word choice) with numerous assigments, assignments, tasks, and projects. However, by using relying on online reviews to purchase material the materials I need, a large significant amount of valuable time can be saved for (rephrased for clarity), allowing me to concentrate focus on my academic learning, pursuits and ultimately improve my efficiency and productivity.
While Claire emphasizes that online reviews may provide some impractical information since people always pose highlights the potential drawbacks of online reviews, such as an overemphasis on negative comments, experiences or the credibility of reviewers, she overlooks the fact that almost all products and services can be commented only when they are bought by certain consumers.fails to consider that most platforms require consumers to have purchased a product or service before leaving a review. This feature helps ensure that feedback is based on genuine experiences and adds credibility (used "credibility" instead of "impractical information" for clearer expression) to the opinions shared in these reviews.
8 思维导图
- Online reviews
- Beneficial for consumers
- Valuable source of information
- Insights into product and service details
- Enhance efficiency and productivity
- Time-saving for college students
- Focus on academic pursuits
- Credibility of reviews
- Platforms require purchase before reviewing
- Genuine experiences and opinions shared
9 关键词
| Word | Phonetic Symbol | Part of Speech | English Definition | Simplified Chinese Translation | Sample Sentence |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| beneficial | /ˌbenəˈfɪʃəl/ | adj. | producing good results or helpful effects | 有益的 | Online reviews are extremely beneficial for consumers. |
| concur | /kənˈkɜr/ | v. | to agree with someone or something | 同意 | I concur with Andrew's viewpoint on online reviews. |
| efficiency | /ɪˈfɪʃənsi/ | n. | the ability to do something well without wasting time | 效率 | Utilizing online reviews can enhance one's efficiency. |
| productivity | /proʊdʌkˈtɪvəti, prə-/ | n. | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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