TOEFL TPO 25 Writing Task 2 Sample: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 3 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 2

2.预估分数

20. 3.任务完成度

你的文章基本回答了题目要求，但是在论述方面还需要加强。首先，你可以提供更具体的例子来支持你的观点。其次，尝试从不同角度去探讨这个问题，而不仅仅是从时间和知识两个方面。

改进建议：

• 使用更具体的例子来支持你的观点。

• 尝试从多个角度去探讨这个问题。

示例：

1. "Many young people today are involved in various extracurricular activities, such as sports teams or clubs, which take up a significant amount of their time and energy, leaving them with little time to devote to community service."

2. "In some cases, young people may not be aware of the volunteer opportunities available in their communities or may not know how to get involved."

4.文章结构与组织 文章结构基本完整，但在段落划分和过渡句方面还有待改进。首先，在引言部分应该简洁明了地提出自己的观点。其次，在正文部分，每段都应该有一个明确的主题句，并且在段落之间使用过渡句使文章更连贯。

改进建议：

• 在引言部分简洁明了地提出自己的观点。

• 在正文部分，每段都应该有一个明确的主题句。

• 在段落之间使用过渡句使文章更连贯。

示例：

1. 引言部分改进： "I agree that young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities, due to their busy schedules, personal preferences, and lack of knowledge about the importance of community service."

2. 过渡句示例： "In addition to the time constraints faced by young people, their personal preferences also play a role in their lack of involvement in community service."

5. 语法批改

I agree with young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities. AlsoAlso,(Commas after conjunctive/linking adverbs in front of a new sentence.) this is a fact that every one must agree with. First, young people doesdo(people + 3rd person verb)n't have enough time for help. Second, young people nowadays are too busy and choose not to help. Third, they lack knowledgesknowledge(misspelling) for why they should help.

Firstly, young peoples nowadays often doesn't have enough time to help, they go to school everydayevery day(everyday (every day)) and finish school around 6pm, which is really late, and that will cause they dontdon't(Spelling of English contractions) have enough free time to help. After they reach home, they still have tons of homework that they must spend time on. A lot of school works and compulsory factors are limiting their time. After iI(i vs. I) reach home, iI(i vs. I) usually spend time on academic works and activities, for example, writing homework; learning and preparing for TOEFL and IELTS; SAT ACT etc...... and other different competitions, so i actually dontdon't(Spelling of English contractions) have enough time for helping my community. As a student from international school myself, iI(i vs. I) have more time in relativity than students in public school, so students in public school have even lesser time than iI(i vs. I) do.

Secondly, young people nowadays are totoo(Detects potentially wrong usage of "to") busy and often perferprefer(misspelling) not to help. Like iI(i vs. I) said in the first paragraph, occasionally we have many academic workmany academic works(Possible agreement error: 'many/several/few' + singular countable noun) to do, and that will cause the lack of free time. But when we have a little free time, we often perferprefer(misspelling) to spend it with our friends; go outside and enjoy dinner together; for our hobbies. These iI(i vs. I) suppose are our choices when we have free time as a student myself. Sometimes when iI(i vs. I) finish my homework and some competitions, iI(i vs. I) would like to enjoy myself in some areas such as playing table tennis as one of my favouritefavorite(misspelling) sport, or watching a movie. I would perferprefer(misspelling) these during my free time instead of helping my community.

Third, they lack knowledgesknowledge(misspelling) for why they should help and how to help the community. Sometimes itsit's(its vs. it's) often their parent didn't tell them about helping their community instead of they dontdon't(Spelling of English contractions) want to, iI(i vs. I) would say it as lack of knowledge about this kind of thingsthis kind of thing(that kind of days (day)). I would use myself as an example, my parents didn't tell me anything about "helping the society". ThereforeTherefore,(Commas after conjunctive/linking adverbs in front of a new sentence.) i dontdon't(Spelling of English contractions) know anything about helping and how to help. I believe all student's parents encourage them to stay more focused on school rather than this, so usually they dontdon't(Spelling of English contractions) know about helping. ThereforeTherefore,(Commas after conjunctive/linking adverbs in front of a new sentence.) lack of knowledge.

To sum up, iI(i vs. I) agree that young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities due to these reasons: 1. They dontdon't(Spelling of English contractions) have sufficient time. 2. They are often busy and rather not to help. 3.They They(Missing space between sentences) lack knowledgesknowledge(misspelling) for why they should help and how to help their community.

6.文章修订

I agree that young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities, due to their busy schedules, personal preferences, and lack of knowledge about the importance of community service. In this essay, I will discuss these factors in detail and provide examples to support my argument.

Firstly, the demanding schedules of young people often leave them with little time for community service. They attend school every day and usually finish around 6 pm, which leaves them with limited free time. After returning home, they still have a significant amount of homework to complete. Moreover, many students participate in extracurricular activities such as sports teams or clubs, which take up a considerable portion of their time and energy. For instance, as an international school student myself, I find that I have more academic work and activities than my peers in public schools. Consequently, students in public schools have even less time for community service than I do.

In addition to the time constraints faced by young people, their personal preferences also play a role in their lack of involvement in community service. When they do have some free time, they often prefer to spend it with friends or engage in hobbies rather than volunteering for their communities. As a student myself, I can relate to this preference; when I finish my homework and other commitments, I would rather spend my free time playing table tennis or watching movies instead of helping my community.

Furthermore, many young people lack knowledge about the importance of community service and how they can contribute effectively. This may be because their parents did not emphasize the value of helping others or were unaware of volunteer opportunities themselves. For example, my parents never discussed the concept of "helping society" with me; therefore, I did not know how or why I should get involved in community service initiatives. Many students' parents may encourage them to focus primarily on academics rather than volunteering efforts.

To address these issues, schools and parents should work together to raise awareness about the importance of community service and provide opportunities for young people to get involved. For instance, schools could incorporate volunteer programs into their curricula or organize community service events. Parents can also discuss the value of helping others with their children and encourage them to participate in local initiatives.

In conclusion, I believe that young people today do not devote enough time to helping their communities due to their busy schedules, personal preferences, and lack of knowledge about the significance of community service. By raising awareness and providing opportunities for involvement, we can help foster a culture of giving back among our youth and create stronger communities for everyone.

Essay statistics: {"words": 452, "unique_words": 218} (458 words)

I agree with young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities. Also this is a fact that every one must agree with. First, young people doesn't have enough time for help. Second, young people nowadays are too busy and choose not to help. Third, they lack knowledges for why they should help. 7.文章批改

Firstly, young peoples nowadays often doesn't have enough time to help, they go to school everyday and finish school around 6pm, which is really late, and that will cause they dont have enough free time to help. After they reach home, they still have tons of homework that they must spend time on. A lot of school works and compulsory factors are limiting their time. After i reach home, i usually spend time on academic works and activities, for example, writing homework; learning and preparing for TOEFL and IELTS; SAT ACT etc...... and other different competitions, so i actually dont have enough time for helping my community. As a student from international school myself, i have more time in relativity than students in public school, so students in public school have even lesser time than i do. ¶ Secondly, young people nowadays are to busy and often perfer not to help. Like i said in the first paragraph, occasionally we have many academic work to do, and that will cause the lack of free time. But when we have a little free time, we often perfer to spend it with our friends; go outside and enjoy dinner together; for our hobbies. These i suppose are our choices when we have free time as a student myself. Sometimes when i finish my homework and some competitions, i would like to enjoy myself in some areas such as playing table tennis as one of my favourite sport, or watching a movie. I would perfer these during my free time instead of helping my community. ¶ Third, they lack knowledges for why they should help and how to help the community. Sometimes its often their parent didn't tell them about helping their community instead of they dont want to, i would say it as lack of knowledge about this kind of things. I would use myself as an example, my parents didn't tell me anything about "helping the society". Therefore i dont know anything about helping and how to help. I believe all student's parents encourage them to stay more focused on school rather than this, so usually they dont know about helping. Therefore lack of knowledge. ¶ To sum up, i I agree that young people nowadays do not give enough time to helping their communities, due to their busy schedules, personal preferences, and lack of knowledge about the importance of community service. (Revised for clarity and conciseness) In this essay, I will discuss these factors in detail and provide examples to support my argument.

Firstly, the demanding schedules of young people often leave them with little time for community service. (Improved word choice: "demanding" instead of "busy") They attend school every day and usually finish around 6 pm, which leaves them with limited free time. After returning home, they still have a significant amount of homework to complete. Moreover, many students participate in extracurricular activities such as sports teams or clubs, which take up a considerable portion of their time and energy. (Improved word choice: "considerable" instead of "significant") For instance, as an international school student myself, I find that I have more academic work and activities than my peers in public schools. Consequently, students in public schools have even less time for community service than I do.

In addition to the time constraints faced by young people, their personal preferences also play a role in their lack of involvement in community service. (Smooth transition between ideas) When they do have some free time, they often prefer to spend it with friends or engage in hobbies rather than volunteering for their communities. As a student myself, I can relate to this preference; when I finish my homework and other commitments, I would rather spend my free time playing table tennis or watching movies instead of helping my community.

Furthermore, many young people lack knowledge about the importance of community service and how they can contribute effectively. (Improved word choice: "effectively" instead of "properly") This may be because their parents did not emphasize the value of helping others or were unaware of volunteer opportunities themselves. For example, my parents never discussed the concept of "helping society" with me; therefore, I did not know how or why I should get involved in community service initiatives. Many students' parents may encourage them to focus primarily on academics rather than volunteering efforts.

To address these issues, schools and parents should work together to raise awareness about the importance of community service and provide opportunities for young people to get involved. (Improved word choice: "get involved" instead of "participate") For instance, schools could incorporate volunteer programs into their curricula or organize community service events. Parents can also discuss the value of helping others with their children and encourage them to participate in local initiatives.

In conclusion, I believe that young people today do not devote enough time to helping their communities due to these reasons: 1. They dont have sufficient time. 2. They are often their busy and rather not to help. 3.They schedules, personal preferences, and lack knowledges for why they should of knowledge about the significance of community service. (Improved word choice: "significance" instead of "importance") By raising awareness and providing opportunities for involvement, we can help and how to help their community.foster a culture of giving back among our youth and create stronger communities for everyone.

8.思维导图

• Thesis statement: Young people do not give enough time to helping their communities due to busy schedules, personal preferences, and lack of knowledge about community service.
  • Topic sentence 1: Demanding schedules leave little time for community service.
    • Sub-topic: School and homework
    • Sub-topic: Extracurricular activities
    • Supporting example: International school student's workload
  • Topic sentence 2: Personal preferences influence the lack of involvement in community service.
    • Sub-topic: Spending free time with friends or hobbies
    • Supporting example: Playing table tennis or watching movies
  • Topic sentence 3: Lack of knowledge about the importance of community service and how to contribute effectively.
    • Sub-topic: Parents not emphasizing the value of helping others
    • Supporting example: Parents not discussing "helping society"
  • Conclusion: Raising awareness and providing opportunities for involvement can foster a culture of giving back among youth and create stronger communities.

9.关键词

10.补充示例

1. Some young people may feel overwhelmed by their academic responsibilities and prioritize their studies over community service.

2. Young people who have part-time jobs may not have enough time left in their schedules for volunteering activities.

3. Schools could offer incentives, such as extra credit or recognition, for students who participate in community service programs.

4. Community organizations could collaborate with schools to create volunteer opportunities that are specifically tailored to young people's interests and skills.

5. Parents and educators can serve as role models by participating in community service themselves, thus inspiring young people to follow their example.