TOEFL TPO 65 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they present solutions to the specific problems mentioned in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 4 连贯与衔接: 4 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

25. 3.任务完成度

整体来说，你的文章回答了题目要求，但是在语言使用方面还有待提高。首先，在描述听力部分时，尽量避免使用“反驳”、“挑战”等词汇，因为这些词汇给人一种较强烈的对立感。你可以使用“提供解决方案”、“解决问题”的表达方式。此外，在描述听力内容时，尽量详细地说明解决方案是如何针对阅读中提到的问题进行解决的。

示例1： 原文：On the contrary, the lecturer refute this point by arguing that the breakthrough of technology could solve problem. 修改：The lecturer, however, provides a solution to this issue by mentioning that a technological breakthrough could address the problem.

示例2： 原文：Casting doubt on this problem, the lecturer puts forward that the protein and nutrition consumed by the tuna could also be obtained from plants. 修改：The lecturer offers a solution to this issue by suggesting that tuna can obtain their required protein and nutrients from plant-based sources instead of fish.

4.文章结构与组织 你的文章结构清晰，每段都有明确的主题和支持细节。但是，在段落之间添加一些过渡词汇会使文章更加连贯。此外，尝试在文章开头部分简要介绍听力和阅读的主题，以便让读者更好地理解文章的背景。

建议1：在段落之间添加过渡词汇，如“首先”、“其次”、“最后”。

示例1： 原文：To begin with, the reading claims tuna farms have to capture significant amounts of young wild tuna... 修改：Firstly, the reading claims that tuna farms have to capture significant amounts of young wild tuna...

示例2： 原文：At last, the reading indicates if the tuna are constrainted to ocean cages, they might get infested by parasites, esepecially blood flukes. 修改：Lastly, the reading indicates that if the tuna are constrained to ocean cages, they might get infested by parasites, especially blood flukes.

5. 语法批改

Since the population of wild tuna is continuously dropping due to overfishing, people are now trying to feed them in ocean cages until they are mature for sale. However, the reading points out three problems of this measure. Conversely, the lecturer opposeopposes(punctuation + singular noun + plural verb) the statement (Two consecutive spaces)of the reading, providing promising solutions to each point made in the reading.

To begin with, the reading claims tuna farms have to capture significant amounts of young wild tuna, considering the female tuna are not able to lay many eggs; thus the populations of wild tuna will decrease. On the contrary, the lecturer refute this point by arguing that the breakthrough of technology could solve problemthe problem(This rule identifies whether the article 'the' is missing in a sentence.). The scientists could inject a kind of hormone to the female tuna, so that female tuna can provide reliable eggs to the farmers. Hence, the farmers do not need to capture young wild tuna constantly, which could contribute to maintain the wild populations of the wild.

Furthermore, the reading asserts that the expensive food required by the tuna might cause heavy financial burden on the farmers, therefore they cannot remain profitable. Casting doubt on this problem, the lecturer puts forward that the protein and nutrition consumed by the tuna could also be obtained from plants. By processing these plants, the cost of food supply could be reduced considerably.

At last, the reading indicates if the tuna are constraintedconstrained(misspelling) to ocean cages, they might get infested by parasites, esepeciallyespecially(misspelling) blood flukes. In contrast, the lecturer challenges this point by suggesting that blood flukes of the southern Australia only thrive at places close to the shore where the life cycle is favorable for the parasites. As a result, if the ocean cages are established at deep ocean, it is impossible for the existence of the parasites. (Whitespace repetition (bad formatting))

Section Title: 6.文章修订

Since the population of wild tuna is continuously dropping due to overfishing, people are now attempting to farm them in ocean cages until they are mature for sale. However, the reading points out three problems with this approach. In contrast, the lecturer opposes these statements, providing promising solutions to each issue raised in the reading.

To begin with, the reading claims that tuna farms have to capture significant amounts of young wild tuna since female tuna cannot lay eggs in captivity; thus, wild tuna populations will decrease. On the contrary, the lecturer refutes this point by arguing that technological breakthroughs could solve this problem. Scientists can inject a specific hormone into female tuna so that they can produce reliable eggs for farmers. Consequently, farmers would not need to capture young wild tuna constantly, which could help maintain wild populations.

Furthermore, the reading asserts that the expensive food required by tuna might cause a heavy financial burden on farmers and prevent them from remaining profitable. Casting doubt on this issue, the lecturer puts forward that protein and nutrients consumed by tuna could also be obtained from plants. By processing these plants, the cost of food supply could be reduced considerably.

Lastly, the reading indicates that if tuna are constrained to ocean cages, they might become infested with parasites, especially blood flukes. In contrast, the lecturer challenges this point by suggesting that blood flukes off southern Australia's coast only thrive in areas close to shore where their life cycle is favorable. As a result, if ocean cages are established in deeper waters, it would be impossible for parasites like blood flukes to exist and infest farmed tuna populations. (279 words)

Revised essay: Section Title: 7.文章批改

Since the population of wild tuna is continuously dropping due to overfishing, people are now trying to feed attempting to farm them in ocean cages until they are mature for sale. sale (changed "feed" to "farm" for clarity). However, the reading points out three problems of this measure. Conversely, with this approach. In contrast, the lecturer oppose the statement of the reading, opposes these statements (changed "statement" to "statements" for plural agreement), providing promising solutions to each point made issue raised in the reading.

To begin with, the reading claims that tuna farms have to capture significant amounts of young wild tuna, considering the tuna since female tuna are cannot lay many eggs (changed "are not able to lay many eggs; thus the lay" to "cannot lay" for simplicity) in captivity; thus, wild tuna populations of wild tuna will decrease. On the contrary, the lecturer refute refutes this point by arguing that the breakthrough of technology technological breakthroughs could solve this problem. The scientists could Scientists can inject a kind of specific hormone to the into female tuna, tuna so that female tuna they can provide produce reliable eggs to the for farmers. Hence, the Consequently, farmers do would not need to capture young wild tuna constantly, which could contribute to help maintain the wild populations of the wild. wild populations.

Furthermore, the reading asserts that the expensive food required by the tuna might cause a heavy financial burden on the farmers, therefore they cannot remain farmers and prevent them from remaining profitable. Casting doubt on this problem, issue, the lecturer puts forward that the protein and nutrition nutrients consumed by the tuna could also be obtained from plants. By processing these plants, the cost of food supply could be reduced considerably.

At last, Lastly, the reading indicates that if the tuna are constrainted constrained to ocean cages, cages (changed "constrainted" to "constrained" for correct spelling), they might get become infested by with parasites, esepecially especially blood flukes.

In contrast, the lecturer challenges this point by suggesting that blood flukes of the off southern Australia Australia's coast only thrive at places in areas close to the shore where the their life cycle is favorable for the parasites. favorable. As a result, if the ocean cages are established at deep ocean, in deeper waters, it is would be impossible for the existence of the parasites.parasites like blood flukes to exist and infest farmed tuna populations.

8. Mind Map

1. Introduction
   - Wild tuna population decline
   - Farming in ocean cages
   - Reading vs. Lecture

2. Issue 1: Capturing young wild tuna
   - Reading: Decrease in wild population
   - Lecture: Technological breakthroughs, hormone injections

3. Issue 2: Expensive food for tuna
   - Reading: Financial burden on farmers
   - Lecture: Plant-based protein and nutrients, cost reduction

4. Issue 3: Parasite infestation
   - Reading: Blood flukes in ocean cages
   - Lecture: Deeper waters, unfavorable conditions for parasites

5. Conclusion
   - Summary of lecture's counterarguments to reading's issues 

9. Keywords