TOEFL TPO 69 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on the specific points made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

总体来说，文章回答了题目要求的问题，但在一些方面可以改进。首先，在讨论阅读和听力之间的对比时，可以更详细地解释听力中提到的观点。例如，在谈论动物画像时，可以进一步说明为什么这些画像不能支持阅读材料中关于狩猎成功的观点。此外，在引用听力材料时，请确保准确传达讲座中提到的信息。

示例1: 原文：Moreover, the reading states that human characters with animal heads upon are symbolized hunters in that period related to some conventions. 改进：Moreover, the reading states that human characters with animal heads symbolize hunters, as some traditional cultures have hunters disguise themselves with animal heads to avoid recognition by their prey.

示例2: 原文：Therefore, their conventional ceremony could also related to other aim instead of hunt, which is opposites to the opinion in the reading. 改进：Therefore, the Lascaux cave paintings may have played a role in magical ceremonies related to communicating with ancestor spirits through animals, which is contrary to the hunting purpose suggested in the reading.

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构可以改进。虽然文章包含了引言、正文和结论，但各段落之间的衔接需要加强。可以使用更明确的过渡词和短语来引导读者理解各段落之间的关系。此外，确保每个段落都集中讨论一个主要观点，并提供相关细节来支持这个观点。

示例1: 原文：To begin with, the reading believes that this cave paiting includes numerous animals which were hunted by Paleolithic people and some of the animals also hurted by hunting tools like arrows and spears. 改进：To begin with, the reading argues that the cave paintings depict numerous animals hunted by Paleolithic people, with some of them wounded by hunting tools like arrows and spears. However, the lecturer challenges this point by stating...

示例2: 原文：With the horizontal positions back seeming asleep, it is hard to speculate they possessed hunt purpose, thus challenging the opinion in the reading. 改进：With these human figures depicted in a horizontal position as if asleep, it is hard to speculate that they represent hunters, thus challenging the opinion presented in the reading. Furthermore, the lecture raises another issue...

5. 语法批改

The reading and the lecture discuss the explainationexplanation(misspelling) and purpose about the cave paintings of Lascaux. While the reading material suggests that those cave paintings are aiming to record a victory hunt affair, the lecturer contends that those interpretations are popular but lack of persuasive supports. To begin with, the reading believes that this cave paitingpainting(misspelling) includes numerous animals which were hunted by Paleolithic people and some of the animals also hurtedhurt(misspelling) by hunting tools like arrows and spears. However, the lecturer mentions that some of the animals painted in the cave were not preypreyed(Agreement: 'been' or 'was' + past tense) for hunters at that time, like rhinocerousesrhinoceroses(misspelling) and cats. What's more, even though the most hunted animal was rein deer, the cave paintings did not depicteddepict(Non-infinitive verb after did/does) this mammal. Also, only a small porportionsproportions(misspelling) of animals hurtedhurt(misspelling) by arrows and spears on the cave paintings, so it is not a compelling evidence supporting the idea of recording successful hunt. Moreover, the reading states that human characters with animal heads upon are symbolized hunters in that periodperiod,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) related to some conventions. Nevertheless, the lecturer disagrees and expresses that the human figures with animal heads on the cave paintings did not showingshow(After auxiliary 'do', use the base form of a verb) sense of hunting and, and(comma between independent clauses) they even were not standing up. With the horizontal positions back seeming asleep, it is hard to speculate they possessed hunt purpose, thus challenging the opinion in the reading. Finally, despite the reading highlights that this painting recording hunt events have unnatural power to influence the reality of hunting favorably, the lecturer demonstrates that not every magical propertiesall magical properties('each' or 'every' with plural nouns) aimed to facilitate hunting. This is because ancient people in Lascaux lived with animal arroundaround(misspelling) their dwelling and their ceremony about communicating with ancestor spirits involves crucial participant of animals. Therefore, their conventional ceremony could also relatedbe related(it would (be) appreciated) to other aim instead of hunt, which is opposites to the opinion in the reading.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The reading and the lecture discuss the explanation and purpose of the Lascaux cave paintings. While the reading material suggests that these cave paintings aim to record a successful hunting event, the lecturer contends that this interpretation is popular but lacks persuasive support.

Firstly, the reading posits that the cave painting includes numerous animals hunted by Paleolithic people, with some of them wounded by hunting tools like arrows and spears. However, the lecturer mentions that some of the animals painted in the cave were not prey for hunters at that time, such as rhinoceroses and cats. Furthermore, even though reindeer were the most hunted animals, they were not depicted in these paintings. Additionally, only a small proportion of animals are shown wounded by arrows and spears in the cave paintings, making it insufficient evidence to support the idea of recording successful hunts.

Secondly, the reading states that human characters with animal heads symbolize hunters from that period due to certain conventions. Nevertheless, the lecturer disagrees and expresses that these human figures with animal heads do not convey a sense of hunting as they are not even standing up. With their horizontal positions on their backs appearing asleep, it is difficult to speculate that they represent hunting purposes, thus challenging the opinion presented in the reading.

Lastly, although the reading highlights that depicting hunting events in these paintings have supernatural power to influence reality favorably for hunters, the lecturer demonstrates that not all magical properties aimed to facilitate hunting. Ancient people in Lascaux lived surrounded by animals and their ceremonies involving communication with ancestor spirits included crucial participation from animals. Therefore, their traditional ceremonies could be related to other objectives instead of hunting success which contradicts with opinion presented in reading passage. (294 words)

The reading and the lecture discuss the explaination explanation and purpose about the cave paintings of Lascaux. of the Lascaux cave paintings. While the reading material suggests that those these cave paintings are aiming aim to record a victory hunt affair, successful hunting event, the lecturer contends that those interpretations are this interpretation is popular but lack of lacks persuasive supports. support (Changed "lack of persuasive supports" to "lacks persuasive support" for proper grammar).

To begin with, the reading believes that this cave paiting Firstly, the reading posits that the cave painting includes numerous animals which were hunted by Paleolithic people and people, with some of the animals also hurted them wounded by hunting tools like arrows and spears. However, the lecturer mentions that some of the animals painted in the cave were not prey for hunters at that time, like rhinocerouses and cats. What's more, such as rhinoceroses and cats (Changed "rhinocerouses" to "rhinoceroses" for correct plural form). Furthermore, even though reindeer were the most hunted animal was rein deer, the cave paintings did animals, they were not depicted this mammal. Also, in these paintings. Additionally, only a small porportions proportion of animals hurted are shown wounded by arrows and spears on in the cave paintings, so making it is not a compelling insufficient evidence supporting to support the idea of recording successful hunt. hunts (Changed "hurted" to "wounded" for proper word usage).

Moreover, Secondly, the reading states that human characters with animal heads upon are symbolized symbolize hunters in from that period related to some due to certain conventions. Nevertheless, the lecturer disagrees and expresses that the these human figures with animal heads on the cave paintings did not showing do not convey a sense of hunting and as they are not even were not standing up. With the their horizontal positions back on their backs appearing asleep (Changed "back seeming asleep, asleep" to "on their backs appearing asleep" for clarity), it is hard difficult to speculate that they possessed hunt purpose, represent hunting purposes, thus challenging the opinion presented in the reading.

Finally, despite Lastly, although the reading highlights that this painting recording hunt depicting hunting events in these paintings have unnatural supernatural power to influence the reality of hunting favorably, favorably for hunters (Changed "unnatural power" to "supernatural power"), the lecturer demonstrates that not every all magical properties aimed to facilitate hunting. This is because ancient Ancient people in Lascaux lived with animal arround their dwelling and their ceremony about communicating surrounded by animals and their ceremonies involving communication with ancestor spirits involves included crucial participant of participation from animals. Therefore, their conventional ceremony traditional ceremonies could also be related to other aim objectives instead of hunt, hunting success which is opposites to the contradicts with opinion in the reading.presented in reading passage (Changed "opposites to the opinion" to "contradicts with opinion" for proper word usage).

8. Mind Map

1. Introduction
   - Lascaux cave paintings
   - Reading: successful hunting event
   - Lecture: lacks persuasive support

2. Animals in the paintings
   - Reading: hunted animals, wounded by tools
   - Lecture: not all prey, reindeer missing, few wounded animals

3. Human characters with animal heads
   - Reading: symbolize hunters
   - Lecture: not standing up, appear asleep, not hunting purpose

4. Supernatural power and hunting success
   - Reading: influence reality favorably for hunters
   - Lecture: other objectives, communication with ancestor spirits

5. Conclusion
   - Disagreement between reading and lecture

9. Keywords