TOEFL TPO 69 Writing Task 1 Sample: Summarize the points made in the lecture, being sure to explain how they cast doubt on the specific points made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 3 组织: 3 连贯性和衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

20. 3.任务完成度

你的文章在一定程度上回答了问题，但是可以更深入地解释听力中提到的观点，以及它们如何质疑阅读材料中的论点。为了提高任务完成度，你需要更详细地解释听力中提到的反驳观点，并明确指出它们是如何对阅读材料产生质疑的。

示例1： 原文：The lecturer counters this by emphasizing that many of these animals are actually not hunted by people in that era. 改进：The lecturer counters this by emphasizing that many of the animals depicted in the paintings, such as rhinoceroses and cats, were not hunted by people in that era, and reindeer, which were the most hunted animals, are not depicted at all.

示例2： 原文：The lecturer disputes this by stating that ancient people who paint these animals might instead of seeking for a successful hunts, they actually want to use the paintings to connect with gods. 改进：The lecturer disputes this by stating that the Lascaux cave paintings may have had a different type of magical use, such as playing a role in ceremonies where people believed they could communicate with ancestor spirits through images of the animals.

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面需要改进。虽然你有一个简短的引言和几个主体段落，但是缺乏一个明确的结论。另外，主体段落中的观点需要更清晰地组织和展示。为了提高文章的结构和组织，你可以在引言中更明确地概述听力和阅读材料之间的关系，并在结尾处总结文章的主要观点。

示例1： 原文：The lecture discusses the debate surrounding the purpose of the cave painting of Lascaux and counters the argument presented by some proponents who support the idea that the paintings were used to ensure a successful hunt. 改进：The lecture casts doubt on the reading passage's argument that the purpose of the Lascaux cave paintings was to ensure successful hunts by presenting several counterarguments.

示例2： 原文：（无结论） 改进：In conclusion, the lecture effectively challenges the reading passage's claim that Lascaux cave paintings were created to ensure successful hunts by providing alternative explanations for their purpose and disputing key points made in the reading.

5. Grammar

The lecture discusses the debate surrounding the purpose of the cave painting of Lascaux and counters the argument presented by some proponents who support the idea that the paintings were used to ensure a successful hunt. Supporters argue that there are some evidences to agree with the idea, such as animal subject matters of the paintings, the appearenceappearance(misspelling) of human figures on the paintings, and the belief ofto(This rule identifies wrong preposition usage.) bring about its reality. However, the lecturer disagrees with these points for several reasons. Firstly, proponents claim that the animals on the paintings are hunted by the Paleolithic people, which can prove the relationship between hunting events and the paintings. The lecturer counters this by emphasizing that many of these animals are actually not hunted by people in that era. Secondly, supporters argue that the hunmanhuman(misspelling) figures in the painting appear to have animal heads, representing anany(Detects potentially wrong usage of "an") traditional culturesculture's(This rule identifies whether there is a missing apostrophe before an 's'.) about hunting. The lecturer refutes this by pointing out that the animal heads have other functionsfunctions,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) such as protecting people. Lastly, supporters assert that people creating the paintings want to turn an event into reality. The lecturer disputes this by stating that ancient people who paint these animals mightmight,(This rule identifies whether commas are missing in a sentence.) instead of seeking for a successful huntsa successful hunt(Agreement: 'a' + plural word), they actually want to use the paintings to connect with gods.

Section Title: 6.文章修订

The lecture challenges the widely-held belief that the Lascaux cave paintings were created to ensure successful hunts, as suggested by the reading passage. The reading presents three main arguments in support of this view: the animal subject matter, human figures with animal heads, and the belief in depicting events to bring about their reality. However, the lecturer casts doubt on each of these points.

Firstly, the reading claims that the animals depicted in the paintings were hunted by Paleolithic people, thus implying a connection between hunting and the artwork. The lecturer disputes this by highlighting that many of these animals were not actually hunted during that time period. For instance, rhinoceroses and cats are featured in the paintings but were not hunted, while reindeer - which were heavily hunted - are absent from the artwork.

Secondly, proponents of the hunting theory argue that human figures with animal heads represent a traditional hunting practice wherein hunters disguise themselves with animal heads to avoid detection. The lecturer refutes this claim by pointing out that these figures are not shown engaging in hunting activities; rather, they are depicted lying down as if asleep. Furthermore, there is no additional context provided within the paintings to help interpret their meaning.

Lastly, supporters assert that ancient people believed in creating images to manifest events into reality. While acknowledging this belief's existence throughout history, the lecturer argues that it does not necessarily imply a connection between magic and successful hunting in relation to Lascaux cave paintings. Instead, he suggests an alternative explanation: these artworks may have played a role in magical ceremonies aimed at communicating with ancestor spirits through depictions of animals believed to house their souls.

In light of these counterarguments presented by the lecturer, it becomes evident that there is insufficient evidence to conclusively determine whether or not Lascaux cave paintings were created for ensuring successful hunts. (315 words)

Revised essay: Article Revision: 7.文章批改

The lecture discusses the debate surrounding the purpose of the Lascaux cave painting of Lascaux paintings and counters the argument presented by some proponents who support the idea that the paintings were used to ensure a successful hunt. Supporters These supporters argue that there are some evidences pieces of evidence (evidences) to agree with the this idea, such as the animal subject matters matter of the paintings, the appearence appearance (appearence) of human figures on in (on) the paintings, and the belief of bring in bringing (of bring) about its reality. However, the lecturer disagrees with these points for several reasons.

Firstly, proponents claim that the animals on the paintings are in (on) the paintings were hunted by the Paleolithic people, which can prove the a relationship between hunting events and the paintings. The lecturer counters this by emphasizing that many of these animals are were actually not hunted by people in during that era.

Secondly, supporters argue that the hunman human figures in the (the) painting appear to have animal heads, representing traditional cultures (an traditional cultures cultures) about hunting. The lecturer refutes this by pointing out that the animal heads have other functions functions, such as protecting people.

Lastly, supporters assert that people creating the paintings want these paintings wanted to turn an event into reality. The lecturer disputes this by stating that ancient people who paint painted these animals might not have been seeking successful hunts (instead of seeking for a successful hunts, hunts); they may have actually want wanted to use the these paintings to connect with gods.gods.

In summary, while there are arguments suggesting Lascaux cave paintings were created for ensuring successful hunts, there is significant doubt cast on these claims by counterarguments presented in this lecture.

8. Mind Map

9. Keywords

Section Title: 6.Article Revision

The lecture challenges the widely-held belief that the Lascaux cave paintings were created to ensure successful hunts, as suggested by the reading passage. The reading presents three main arguments in support of this view: the animal subject matter, human figures with animal heads, and the belief in depicting events to bring about their reality. However, the lecturer casts doubt on each of these points.

Firstly, the reading claims that the animals depicted in the paintings were hunted by Paleolithic people, thus implying a connection between hunting and the artwork. The lecturer disputes this by highlighting that many of these animals were not actually hunted during that time period. For instance, rhinoceroses and cats are featured in the paintings but were not hunted, while reindeer - which were heavily hunted - are absent from the artwork.

Secondly, proponents of the hunting theory argue that human figures with animal heads represent a traditional hunting practice wherein hunters disguise themselves with animal heads to avoid detection. The lecturer refutes this claim by pointing out that these figures are not shown engaging in hunting activities; rather, they are depicted lying down as if asleep. Furthermore, there is no additional context provided within the paintings to help interpret their meaning.

Lastly, supporters assert that ancient people believed in creating images to manifest events into reality. While acknowledging this belief's existence throughout history, the lecturer argues that it does not necessarily imply a connection between magic and successful hunting in relation to Lascaux cave paintings. Instead, he suggests an alternative explanation: these artworks may have played a role in magical ceremonies aimed at communicating with ancestor spirits through depictions of animals believed to house their souls.

In light of these counterarguments presented by the lecturer, it becomes evident that there is insufficient evidence to conclusively determine whether or not Lascaux cave paintings were created for ensuring successful hunts.